hi
Watching summat on manners, wondering if they really are dead. Personally, I always say please if asking for tea or whatever, and thank you at the till when shopping. How bout you ?
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Manners
Orgasminator
Oh God no, i teach my kids manners all the time, i hate rude people and children, there is absolutely no need for it. 
Sex God
I was always told:
Manners cost nothing and can get you everything.
A concept which I was completely comfortable with until I went to live in Denmark for a while. They don't say please at all. In fact the word please doesn't exsist as such. The say thanks afterwards instead. So if I ask for a napkin in denmark I'd ask, "can I have a napkin thanks" a very strange thing to get used to.
They also don't apologise unless they have physically hurt you or bumped into you quite heavily, then they say "excuse me" rather than "sorry". I was once told off for saying sorry for being a couple of minutes late for my lecture because I had made a sub-conscious choice to be late and so I had nothing to be sorry for, just get out of bed 5 minutes earlier.
Living and working in another culture makes you realise the structure of your own culture and the expectation one has in one's native country and how a person can easily be confused as rude when in a strange environment. The Belgian girls we lived with thought we were all rude for not kissing on cheeks and hugging(like the french do) when we greated each other!
So is the issue of manners as clear cut as we all think it could or should be?
Manners cost nothing and can get you everything.
A concept which I was completely comfortable with until I went to live in Denmark for a while. They don't say please at all. In fact the word please doesn't exsist as such. The say thanks afterwards instead. So if I ask for a napkin in denmark I'd ask, "can I have a napkin thanks" a very strange thing to get used to.
They also don't apologise unless they have physically hurt you or bumped into you quite heavily, then they say "excuse me" rather than "sorry". I was once told off for saying sorry for being a couple of minutes late for my lecture because I had made a sub-conscious choice to be late and so I had nothing to be sorry for, just get out of bed 5 minutes earlier.
Living and working in another culture makes you realise the structure of your own culture and the expectation one has in one's native country and how a person can easily be confused as rude when in a strange environment. The Belgian girls we lived with thought we were all rude for not kissing on cheeks and hugging(like the french do) when we greated each other!
So is the issue of manners as clear cut as we all think it could or should be?
As the saying says 'Manners Maketh The Man' .
We've always impressed on our 3 the importance of saying 'please and thank you' , and to their credit they never forget. It gives you a nice glow when they hold a door open for an OAP and the person says 'What a charming young man' or 'thank you young lady' . It backs up what i always tell them 'that manners cost nothing' .
'Manners' i think are making a comeback in the youth of today , although i do believe it must have skipped a generation because it really irks me when the kids or i hold a door open for , say a forty something , who bowls though the door totally ignoring whoever holding it for them . When i'm own my own i always sarcastically say a loud 'Thank You' just to embarrass them . Although if the kids were present and i said it , would that make me bad mannered ?
We've always impressed on our 3 the importance of saying 'please and thank you' , and to their credit they never forget. It gives you a nice glow when they hold a door open for an OAP and the person says 'What a charming young man' or 'thank you young lady' . It backs up what i always tell them 'that manners cost nothing' .
'Manners' i think are making a comeback in the youth of today , although i do believe it must have skipped a generation because it really irks me when the kids or i hold a door open for , say a forty something , who bowls though the door totally ignoring whoever holding it for them . When i'm own my own i always sarcastically say a loud 'Thank You' just to embarrass them . Although if the kids were present and i said it , would that make me bad mannered ?
Quote by stupot
As the saying says 'Manners Maketh The Man'
We are rather proud of my nephew (9 yr old) because he is very good & polite with people. My Mum was out shopping with him recently & was very impressed with the way that he asked a shop assistant questions & was patient & well mannered.
Quote by stupot
'Manners' i think are making a comeback in the youth of today , although i do believe it must have skipped a generation because it really irks me when the kids or i hold a door open for , say a forty something , who bowls though the door totally ignoring whoever holding it for them . When i'm own my own i always sarcastically say a loud 'Thank You' just to embarrass them . Although if the kids were present and i said it , would that make me bad mannered ?
I can get some good reactions doing that. Clearly some kids have far better manners than their elders (but NOT betters)!
A few years ago we had a big family Christmas, my niece who was four at the time was given this amazing present and when she opened it she was utterly overwhelmed. The look of absolute happiness on her face was really moving. She was so excited by her present she just sat there speechless for a few seconds.
Our Grandma then said to her, "It's rude not to acknowledge your gratitude you know". Of course being four she just looked bemused and carried on playing with her new present. Our Grandma then snatched her present away and told her she would get it back when she said thank you. My niece didn't know what to say just looked really upset so my Grandma said, "Fine, have it your way but your not getting your present back until you say thank you." My niece just cried and ran out of the room.
I'll never forget this incident as it illustrates how far we take things and how mean we can be. There was no doubt how grateful my niece was, her face said it all. To pursue the point like that was just cruel.
Our Grandma then said to her, "It's rude not to acknowledge your gratitude you know". Of course being four she just looked bemused and carried on playing with her new present. Our Grandma then snatched her present away and told her she would get it back when she said thank you. My niece didn't know what to say just looked really upset so my Grandma said, "Fine, have it your way but your not getting your present back until you say thank you." My niece just cried and ran out of the room.
I'll never forget this incident as it illustrates how far we take things and how mean we can be. There was no doubt how grateful my niece was, her face said it all. To pursue the point like that was just cruel.
:P Manners...another dying tradition 
I was on the train the other day and this kid did one of those long gobs they all walk around doing, right onto the train seat opposite him and no one said a word. I'm not English, I speak if I want to speak, doesn't matter to whom.
Charming mate, it's a reflection of your up-bringing that is. If my son did that I wouldn't blame the people around him for thinking I'm a kak mother, right now I'm thinking your mum's kinda shite too.
I got the teenage mantra *whatever* back but the boy was
a lovely shade of red.
I refuse to be one of the many adults who watch in distaste as our youths behave badly. I still believe...It takes a village....
I was on the train the other day and this kid did one of those long gobs they all walk around doing, right onto the train seat opposite him and no one said a word. I'm not English, I speak if I want to speak, doesn't matter to whom.
Charming mate, it's a reflection of your up-bringing that is. If my son did that I wouldn't blame the people around him for thinking I'm a kak mother, right now I'm thinking your mum's kinda shite too.
I got the teenage mantra *whatever* back but the boy was
a lovely shade of red.I refuse to be one of the many adults who watch in distaste as our youths behave badly. I still believe...It takes a village....
Sex God
i have a bad manners lp from the 80's
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Quote by cannabis
hi
Watching summat on manners, wondering if they really are dead. Personally, I always say please if asking for tea or whatever, and thank you at the till when shopping. How bout you ?
I am very lucking to have 2 very well mannered children, and I always insist on please and thankyou in any situation. That goes for Mr Pink too
Weel I belive the majority of children these days dont have much manners. I was down the high street the other day and this young boy knoecked an old ladys bags out of her hands so i had to stand there in the freezing cold and help her with erh bags then bless the old dear tried to give me 50 pence for it.
Sex God
I so agree with you about having good manners, not just saying thank you or please, but also social skills such as waiting for someone to finish speaking before speaking yourself, listening politely, not interrupting, etc. It really is one of those things that i hate, if im talking and someone hasnt got the manners to even listen to what i have to say or interrupting me
As for berating the four year old child, i think the grandmother was overbearing, instead of quietly explaining that she needs to say thank you, she made the situation into a confrontation, upsetting the child and not getting a thank you in the end Our children learn their manners from us after all, so will copy how we act, how we react and how we behave with others.
As for berating the four year old child, i think the grandmother was overbearing, instead of quietly explaining that she needs to say thank you, she made the situation into a confrontation, upsetting the child and not getting a thank you in the end
Our children learn their manners from us after all, so will copy how we act, how we react and how we behave with others. God if theres one thing i cant stand its someone talking over the top of me and interupting me. . that really makes me blow my cork. And cause it annoys me so much I cant do what i usually do and act like its ok and say "oh its alright" all nicey nicey. I usually go something like so"what the f*ck are playing at, I'm trying to f*cking speak here, you ignoranamus"
Psycho? Who?
. that really makes me blow my cork. And cause it annoys me so much I cant do what i usually do and act like its ok and say "oh its alright" all nicey nicey. I usually go something like so"what the f*ck are playing at, I'm trying to f*cking speak here, you ignoranamus" Psycho? Who?
I think it's a very British Problem. The Brits are so obsessed with manners that we think that we can drum it into children to say please and thank you and expect them to magically do it. Remember, "Just Say No"? It didn't work because people don't like being told what to do.
My Dad lives in Spain and I have been visiting him regularly all my life, when the Spanish have kids they don't take the first opportunity to hire a babysitter and then go out and get pissed. If the Spanish go out the kids go too and from a very young age children learn some very important social skills.
We have a far different culture here; instead of teaching our children to be respectful and well mannered we demand it. When did that ever work?
My Dad lives in Spain and I have been visiting him regularly all my life, when the Spanish have kids they don't take the first opportunity to hire a babysitter and then go out and get pissed. If the Spanish go out the kids go too and from a very young age children learn some very important social skills.
We have a far different culture here; instead of teaching our children to be respectful and well mannered we demand it. When did that ever work?
Sex God
I think manners are so important. I was brought up that way and have tried to do the same with my kids too.
Certainly can't harm them at all.
Certainly can't harm them at all.
Sex God
Quote by leprechaun
i have a bad manners lp from the 80's
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Well someone has to collect them
Quote by Sarah1448
i have a bad manners lp from the 80's
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Well someone has to collect them
Special Brew - The Can-Can - Just a feeling..what a band!
Good points about passing on all this to kids - but,true,nothing to get overbearing about with little ones.
I recently walked past a church - a modern one not a historic building.
Youths were writing on the brickwork with marker pens.
I said nothing.
Why? - Because there were about 10 boys and 5 girls,all aged about 15/16 thats why!When they're in a pack like that,its hopeless.
Sometimes it's not that hard to understand why kids dont have manners when you look and listen to some of the parents and it's not just an age thing!!
I've seen some shocking examples of lack of manners in the elderly
We bring our two up as we were brought up.....
Civility costs nothing and treat others as you would like to be treated.
That includes "please" and "thank you", but also being aware of the feelings of others, kids sometimes forget but by and large we are quite happy to take our two anywhere without being embarassed.
I've seen some shocking examples of lack of manners in the elderly
We bring our two up as we were brought up.....
Civility costs nothing and treat others as you would like to be treated.
That includes "please" and "thank you", but also being aware of the feelings of others, kids sometimes forget but by and large we are quite happy to take our two anywhere without being embarassed.
ooh manners don't even get me started. Not sure if it's me getting older or kids getting cheekier nowadays.
I wouldn't say boo to a goose when I was a teenager. But most kids nowadays if you reprimand them for dropping litter etc you get a filthy mouhtful back off them.
Bring back the slipper i say lol.
I wouldn't say boo to a goose when I was a teenager. But most kids nowadays if you reprimand them for dropping litter etc you get a filthy mouhtful back off them.
Bring back the slipper i say lol.
Quote by LiverpoolMale
ooh manners don't even get me started. Not sure if it's me getting older or kids getting cheekier nowadays.
I wouldn't say boo to a goose when I was a teenager. But most kids nowadays if you reprimand them for dropping litter etc you get a filthy mouhtful back off them.
Bring back the slipper i say lol.
As a kid (34 just now) I remember quite vividly two things
1) If we, as a group of kids where playing outside someones house other than our own when we shouldn't have been, all they had to do was either knock at the window or open the door and we would be off and running, now all you would get is a mouthful of abuse and your car vandalised!
Wouldn't stop me now chinning someone outside my house if It needed it though.
2) The other thing was as kids playing football in the street, if a lady walked passed then regardless of how daft we had been running about, someone would stand on the ball untill they passed so that there was no danger of her being hit with a ball!!
Perhaps it's just the way I was brought up but does anyone else remember those days?
Nearly got myself in bother many years ago when our eldest was still in a pram and we walked passed a street football game. I shouted for them to hold the ball whilst we walked by with the pram and some wee baseballed capped, shell suit wearing pr#ck deliberatly kicked the ball in our direction!!
The little shit didn't know what hit him 'cause this boy bites back!!!!!
He was on his arse before he could say "Whatever" and his apologies and loss of face was well worth it...........
Sorry rant over, I can still feel the hair on the back of my neck rising
I think a lot of people are scared to confront these kids as they don't hang around in ones or twos there is a big pack of them.
I saw some kids throwing stones through a house near mine that was being renovated. These were brand new windows that had only been in a day or two. I banged on the window to chase the tinkers off and luckily they ran off lol.
I just couldn't believe that in their mind what they were doing was ok. Would they mind if i went outside their house and did the same.
And another time I was walking along the road with some friends and whack a ball hit us. Turned around and some kids of about 10 years of age started shouting can we have our ball back. So I picked it up and started walking off with it down the street after shouting thanks for the ball.
Ended up one of them chasing after me and asking for it back when I pointed out why did he want it as he kicked it at me in the first place. He seemed to forget his manners and didn't say sorry just a mouthul of swear words came out.
Good on you for showing that other lad up though. Hopefully it knocked some sense into him.
I don't know why kids are like this nowadays but I'm sure all this not smacking your kids is part to blame. But then again I wasn't really smacked as a child it was the fear of my mums slipper or eating soap if I swore that made me an angel
I saw some kids throwing stones through a house near mine that was being renovated. These were brand new windows that had only been in a day or two. I banged on the window to chase the tinkers off and luckily they ran off lol.
I just couldn't believe that in their mind what they were doing was ok. Would they mind if i went outside their house and did the same.
And another time I was walking along the road with some friends and whack a ball hit us. Turned around and some kids of about 10 years of age started shouting can we have our ball back. So I picked it up and started walking off with it down the street after shouting thanks for the ball.
Ended up one of them chasing after me and asking for it back when I pointed out why did he want it as he kicked it at me in the first place. He seemed to forget his manners and didn't say sorry just a mouthul of swear words came out.
Good on you for showing that other lad up though. Hopefully it knocked some sense into him.
I don't know why kids are like this nowadays but I'm sure all this not smacking your kids is part to blame. But then again I wasn't really smacked as a child it was the fear of my mums slipper or eating soap if I swore that made me an angel
Quote by stupot
it really irks me when the kids or i hold a door open for , say a forty something , who bowls though the door totally ignoring whoever holding it for them .
Yeah, as if they have some kind of right. We live out in the country so we stop if we're by a gate or something to let the other fellow pass, when they do so without a nod or a wave of the hand, or a flash of the lights, one's immediate thought is, "Who the ***k do they think they are, Royalty or something".
The knock on effect of bad manners is more bad manners, and I'm sure playground violence like road rage come from a lack of lessons early.
