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marriage and being bi......
well i was just raised to beleive that marriage is for two people ..quote]
That`s not quite true..there may be kids involved.
Okay..here`s my angle.
I`ve been `happily` married for 20 years, in many ways, and have several children. When I met my wife, I was at a very low ebb, and sex was not really that important..though I should have seen the warning signs, in retrospect.
She has a low sex drive...and is happy that way. Once a month is a little too often for her liking...and it must always be a certain way...lights off, straight from the shower, no on holidays, etc, are completely out. And once, frustrated to death, I asked here to give me a wank...it took years for our relationship to recover.
To many, you could say she has problems...but, thing is,she`s happy.
My own sexuality is..well, I`m pretty much obcessed! Not sure if I`m really Bi...I just need that excitement, eroticism, and the outdoors bit....or I get very cranky..and this need has led me to a few homoerotic its there, and sometimes (I`m not unattractive for a bloke) I just need to be desired.
But really, this is not about being bi..it`s about being married and unfaithful. (Needless to say, I would never take anything home she could catch, btw) Occasionally, we joke about it....her angle is `tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies`.
So I don`t really think it`s that simple.
If I go long enough without, then I get a bit cranky..less patient with the kids, and less understanding of my wifes needs. Maybe you will think I`m twisting this to have my cake and eat it..BUT...seems to me, as long as she doesn`t know (for sure), then any moral fallout falls on my own spirit. And I`m happy to sacrifice personal karma for the good of my family. If they get through life happy...if ignorant!..then I`ll burn in metaphorical hell and be happy.
Of course..there must be some trust. Recently, for instance, I was in the far East and overrun with bevies of the most beautiful girls you could imagine. But I didn`t stray...boy have I pondered over it since though !...because my wife specifically asked me not to.
Maybe we should never have got married.
But my wife and family are happy..and, occasionally, I get to express my own spirit to the full...without hurting anyone
..and ain`t it what this site is all about?
That`s not quite true..there may be kids involved.
Okay..here`s my angle.
I`ve been `happily` married for 20 years, in many ways, and have several children. When I met my wife, I was at a very low ebb, and sex was not really that important..though I should have seen the warning signs, in retrospect.
She has a low sex drive...and is happy that way. Once a month is a little too often for her liking...and it must always be a certain way...lights off, straight from the shower, no on holidays, etc, are completely out. And once, frustrated to death, I asked here to give me a wank...it took years for our relationship to recover.
To many, you could say she has problems...but, thing is,she`s happy.
My own sexuality is..well, I`m pretty much obcessed! Not sure if I`m really Bi...I just need that excitement, eroticism, and the outdoors bit....or I get very cranky..and this need has led me to a few homoerotic its there, and sometimes (I`m not unattractive for a bloke) I just need to be desired.
But really, this is not about being bi..it`s about being married and unfaithful. (Needless to say, I would never take anything home she could catch, btw) Occasionally, we joke about it....her angle is `tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies`.
So I don`t really think it`s that simple.
If I go long enough without, then I get a bit cranky..less patient with the kids, and less understanding of my wifes needs. Maybe you will think I`m twisting this to have my cake and eat it..BUT...seems to me, as long as she doesn`t know (for sure), then any moral fallout falls on my own spirit. And I`m happy to sacrifice personal karma for the good of my family. If they get through life happy...if ignorant!..then I`ll burn in metaphorical hell and be happy.
Of course..there must be some trust. Recently, for instance, I was in the far East and overrun with bevies of the most beautiful girls you could imagine. But I didn`t stray...boy have I pondered over it since though !...because my wife specifically asked me not to.
Maybe we should never have got married.
But my wife and family are happy..and, occasionally, I get to express my own spirit to the full...without hurting anyone
..and ain`t it what this site is all about?
Quote by Bardass
..and ain`t it what this site is all about?
I agreed with everything you said, up until this point.
For YOU this is what this Site is for, for YOU it is about getting some relief and I am not going to judge you for it.....
But for other people this site is about friendship, sex, a social life and thousands of other things that I can't begin to think of.......you see, for everyone here they have a different reason for being here and it's not always about sex.....I know it isn't always about that for me, in fact sometimes its the last thing on my mind......
That said, I don't think you're bi.....I think you're more a case of "I want sex, gonna have it where I can get it"....and that's not a mean thing to say, I think it's just honest.
Quote by DreamerHelen
..and ain`t it what this site is all about?
I agreed with everything you said, up until this point.
For YOU this is what this Site is for, for YOU it is about getting some relief and I am not going to judge you for it.....
But for other people this site is about friendship, sex, a social life and thousands of other things that I can't begin to think of.......you see, for everyone here they have a different reason for being here and it's not always about sex.....I know it isn't always about that for me, in fact sometimes its the last thing on my mind......
That said, I don't think you're bi.....I think you're more a case of "I want sex, gonna have it where I can get it"....and that's not a mean thing to say, I think it's just honest.
In truth Bardass isn't here about sex either. He's wrestling with an impossible conundrum and I've been there and done that. I don't think I'm gay, like Helen kind of indicated about Bardass, I'm just an old perv who needed an outlet from an unfulfilled life who found the woods less complicated and less demanding than a mistress. I think Bardass is somewhere similar and in the end when the kids are grown I think he'll go. Only he can decide if it's better for the family to be as they are or to make the change.
There is the love you have for a dog, for Mother, for Father, but I think if that's the kind of love you get from a wife there is something wrong. I have been there, and I do know, and I do commiserate because they are awfully big decisions.
