Can I just ask, is it a problem for Swinging Heaven to have married men on here?.. Let's not be prudish here, this site as it suggests is about swinging and it seems to me there is little or no room for the married man who (whether we like it or not) want's to play away!! I don't think anyone should jump on the moral band wagan especially when you see some of the cam action here.. My point is, I myself was personally attacked in a chatroom by a single lady whom I'd already explained too that I was married and after reading her profile request NO married guys I informed her that I due to this were not suitable.. She then went onto print all the conversation in the room for all to see.. I am not going to make excuses for my way of life but if this is the sort of thing I am having to put up with, I'm glad to have left the site.. Seven years I have been with SH even when it was once a free site but alas people with morals seem to now have the upper hand on a swinging site.. Flies in the face of hypocrocy..
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Sexlightened
I have no problem with married men, in fact I have one of my own. If he plays away without permission though I shall set up a webcam and demonstrate in graphic detail the artistic way to disect a penis and other parts of the male anatomy. I will then, and forgive me on this one as my cooking skills leave a great deal to be desired, pan fry diced penis and testicle with a hint of garlic and serve it to him on a bed of watercress! If the shitbag leaves a morsel then he's really going to be in trouble! 
If any other married men want to play on here though it's no problem for me. My morals are fluid.
If any other married men want to play on here though it's no problem for me. My morals are fluid.
Sex God
Quote by Alphacenturi
Can I just ask, is it a problem for Swinging Heaven to have married men on here?.. Let's not be prudish here, this site as it suggests is about swinging and it seems to me there is little or no room for the married man who (whether we like it or not) want's to play away!! I don't think anyone should jump on the moral band wagan especially when you see some of the cam action here.. My point is, I myself was personally attacked in a chatroom by a single lady whom I'd already explained too that I was married and after reading her profile request NO married guys I informed her that I due to this were not suitable.. She then went onto print all the conversation in the room for all to see.. I am not going to make excuses for my way of life but if this is the sort of thing I am having to put up with, I'm glad to have left the site.. Seven years I have been with SH even when it was once a free site but alas people with morals seem to now have the upper hand on a swinging site.. Flies in the face of hypocrocy..
I think she was wrong to post it in the open room, unless you'd whispered without permission.
But, I think you're also making a very sweeping generalisation about the rest of the population of SH,based on the actions of one person. You clearly haven't left the site or you wouldn't have been able to post your message. And, as far as I know, SH hasn't been running for seven years.
Sex God
No problem from me if you are being honest! which it appeared you are,
sh hasnt been going for 7 years?
when you say I don't think anyone should jump on the moral band wagan especially when you see some of the cam action here..
what does that mean?
also this bit I informed her that I due to this werenot suitable..
whos the we're? just trying to clarify some areas to ease my understanding.
i dont think its fair that your private convo was pasted in the room, if permissions to whisper had been granted. but what you could have maybe done is report this to a chat op?
to answer the origional question, i dont think sh has a problem with married men on here with out wifes knowledge, just some members may have, which is their right. as long as they are not abusive in there voicing of this opinion.
im not sure what the fact some people with this view being swingers has to do with it. people have the right to choose who they have fun with.
sorry youve faced people voicing that opinion in a bad way, but was it just this one incident that made you so angery? and if its only once is it fair to tar every member and the whole site with the same brush?
why am i replying when you said your leaving the site ?? lol
xx fem x
when you say I don't think anyone should jump on the moral band wagan especially when you see some of the cam action here..
what does that mean?
also this bit I informed her that I due to this werenot suitable..
whos the we're? just trying to clarify some areas to ease my understanding.
i dont think its fair that your private convo was pasted in the room, if permissions to whisper had been granted. but what you could have maybe done is report this to a chat op?
to answer the origional question, i dont think sh has a problem with married men on here with out wifes knowledge, just some members may have, which is their right. as long as they are not abusive in there voicing of this opinion.
im not sure what the fact some people with this view being swingers has to do with it. people have the right to choose who they have fun with.
sorry youve faced people voicing that opinion in a bad way, but was it just this one incident that made you so angery? and if its only once is it fair to tar every member and the whole site with the same brush?
why am i replying when you said your leaving the site ?? lol
xx fem x
Quote by Alphacenturi
Can I just ask, is it a problem for Swinging Heaven to have married men on here?.. Let's not be prudish here, this site as it suggests is about swinging and it seems to me there is little or no room for the married man who (whether we like it or not) want's to play away!! I don't think anyone should jump on the moral band wagan especially when you see some of the cam action here.. My point is, I myself was personally attacked in a chatroom by a single lady whom I'd already explained too that I was married and after reading her profile request NO married guys I informed her that I due to this were not suitable.. She then went onto print all the conversation in the room for all to see.. I am not going to make excuses for my way of life but if this is the sort of thing I am having to put up with, I'm glad to have left the site.. Seven years I have been with SH even when it was once a free site but alas people with morals seem to now have the upper hand on a swinging site.. Flies in the face of hypocrocy..
Alpha, you had me on side. Rightup until the end- my morals are well & truly intact, thank you very much.
Quote by Alphacenturi
.. Seven years I have been with SH even when it was once a free site but alas people with morals seem to now have the upper hand on a swinging site.. Flies in the face of hypocrocy..
Swinging + morals =
they don't mix! people may have views but I may be alone on this but swinging's hardly moralistic is it?
Quote by flower411
I have no problem with married men, in fact I have one of my own. If he plays away without permission though I shall set up a webcam and demonstrate in graphic detail the artistic way to disect a penis and other parts of the male anatomy. I will then, and forgive me on this one as my cooking skills leave a great deal to be desired, pan fry diced penis and testicle with a hint of garlic and serve it to him on a bed of watercress! If the shitbag leaves a morsel then he's really going to be in trouble!
If any other married men want to play on here though it's no problem for me. My morals are fluid.
Fuck me !!!! you`ve just cut his dick off !!!
What would happen if he was in trouble ?????
Yeah - "Fuck me" is pretty much the only response to this :-) That's impressively vehement.
My own opinion on this is that cheating (by which I mean playing without the knowledge and consent of your partner) is unfortunate, distasteful and often I'd call it outright wrong - howeeeeever it's not for me to judge people without knowing their situations.
(If, for example, there is no more sex in a relationship, it's not surprising for someone to look elsewhere; perhaps better they do it in an entirely physical swinging context rather than have an affair; perhaps the other partner knows deep down but they'd both rather not acknowledge it openly; whatever. In both of these situations actually I'd still say talking about it might in some ways be the healthiest option, but I guess that isn't for everyone).
Quote by Alphacenturi
Can I just ask, is it a problem for Swinging Heaven to have married men on here?.. Let's not be prudish here, this site as it suggests is about swinging and it seems to me there is little or no room for the married man who (whether we like it or not) want's to play away!! I don't think anyone should jump on the moral band wagan especially when you see some of the cam action here.. My point is, I myself was personally attacked in a chatroom by a single lady whom I'd already explained too that I was married and after reading her profile request NO married guys I informed her that I due to this were not suitable.. She then went onto print all the conversation in the room for all to see.. I am not going to make excuses for my way of life but if this is the sort of thing I am having to put up with, I'm glad to have left the site.. Seven years I have been with SH even when it was once a free site but alas people with morals seem to now have the upper hand on a swinging site.. Flies in the face of hypocrocy..
What I find difficult to accept is that married men (and ladies) call playing with others behind a partners back, swinging but that is my own personal veiw.
Anyway, it was wrong of the lady to show everyone your private conversation. Presuming from reading the above that you had happily been in conversation, she should have just asked to end the conversation.
You don't have to put up with anything, if you feel that you were hard done to, send in a support ticket giving the details and it will be investigated :thumbup:
Quote by Dawnie
What I find difficult to accept is that married men (and ladies) call playing with others behind a partners back, swinging but that is my own personal veiw.
My thinking is this, I don't call 'cheating' swinging. Cheating is that, cheating. Swinging is about consenting adults having sexual fun. What I do say however (and I've said this before), is that everyone is here for their own personal reason and I don't think I'm here to judge anyone for their reason for being here.
I cannot advocate cheating, my personal view, but I cannot knock anyone's reason for being here either, does that make sense?
What I do think is wrong is when people blatently lie to get their fun. Honesty is the best policy regardless of peoples backgrounds.
Oh Lord, I said I wouldn't go down this road again, and I'm not really going to get into this thread other than this wee bit input
Quote by jaymar
OH OH it's gonna end up one of those cheating threads again........
This is a swinging site.... isn't it?? :shock:
Can you clarify that Jay?
I dont think cheating on your partner constitutes being a swinger.
I am probably being moralistic here but...We would not meet married guys or guys with partners. We find that distasteful and not a nice thing to do.
That is our choice and our decision.
Quote by jaymar
What I do think is wrong is when people blatently lie to get their fun. Honesty is the best policy regardless of peoples backgrounds.
I agree that people shouldn't lie to get there fun :thumbup:
So many people on this site or in clubs don't mind at all if a person is married or not, there is enough fun to go round :rascal:
Quote by kentswingers777
OH OH it's gonna end up one of those cheating threads again........
This is a swinging site.... isn't it?? :shock:
Can you clarify that Jay?
I dont think cheating on your partner constitutes being a swinger.
I am probably being moralistic here but...We would not meet married guys or guys with partners. We find that distasteful and not a nice thing to do.
That is our choice and our decision.
What you asking Jay for?? :lol: you wouldn't want to know his answer lol..
And I didn't say swinging constitutes cheating on your partner... read my subsequent post
And I respect your decision as much as the next persons 8-)
Casanova
Personally I choose not to meet married guys 1 on 1, I'd be lying if I said I had never played with a married man as I don't ask every guy I encountered at clubs, especially if I'm already having fun.
Your profile clearly says that you are married and you are giving anyone who should take an interest a clear opportunity to decide if they would like to turn away or find out more about you. There is no reason for grievance or annoyance towards you.
I would be annoyed if someone had chatted me up for a meet pretending to be single when they are not, but that does not appear to be what you are doing.
I also believe that there are plenty of women playing with out consent of a partner too, so it is not a gender based thing, although men might not be as bothered by it? I wouldn't know.
In conclusion I think you were just unlucky, or as suspected whispering without permission and walked into it. Not everyone is out to make an example of you.
Your profile clearly says that you are married and you are giving anyone who should take an interest a clear opportunity to decide if they would like to turn away or find out more about you. There is no reason for grievance or annoyance towards you.
I would be annoyed if someone had chatted me up for a meet pretending to be single when they are not, but that does not appear to be what you are doing.
I also believe that there are plenty of women playing with out consent of a partner too, so it is not a gender based thing, although men might not be as bothered by it? I wouldn't know.
In conclusion I think you were just unlucky, or as suspected whispering without permission and walked into it. Not everyone is out to make an example of you.
I really dislike it when I see whispers posted in open rooms. I do understand why at times when someone is so persistent and rude in whisper...its sort of the last resort for some.
As many others said... honesty (lying really, really, really, really, bugs me!
an if I find someone has lied to me about something that's important to me, I just don't want to know them any more)is the best policy, they are those who meet married guys/women. Not my cuppa tea but hey it happens and as long as everyone is honest with each other...
As many others said... honesty (lying really, really, really, really, bugs me!
an if I find someone has lied to me about something that's important to me, I just don't want to know them any more)is the best policy, they are those who meet married guys/women. Not my cuppa tea but hey it happens and as long as everyone is honest with each other... I'm a married man who has made contact with several Members albeit failing totally to even engage in a conversation But that's possibly due to my 'preference' in terms of what I am looking for right now...
I totally agree that Swinger's engage in a lifestyle that cannot be compared to what men like me have done - or, in my case, are attempting to do. If I ever do get to meet someone and fulfill my fantasy desire, I will have cheated on my wife. The fact that I believe my marriage conditions at present warrant such an act is for my conscience alone, the details of which I am not prepared to go into.
I would not wish to meet anyone who is not aware of my situation and as such I clearly state that I am married in my Profile and advertise the fact that I am not here with permission.
It is my situation that actually makes me seek a little erotic distraction that, ideally, does not involve intercourse. But for me to have my fun in this case generally comes across as being selfish as the needs to the Lady are ignored, which isn't fair, and hence my view that I may exceed my ideal scenario if mutually agreeable.
I guess in my case I'm trying to engage in a little light erotic teasing without the full sexual experience precisely because I am looking to cheat and I want to minimise the cheating in the event that my marriage comes right. Of course, a Swinging site is possibly not the best place to seek this as I have learnt that the majority of you appear to take the Swinging Lifestyle seriously and good on you - I wish my wife could see that this is a lifestyle that can enhance a relationship! But I would never attempt to try and make her try something she isn't comfortable with.
Anyway, just my 2p.
But that's possibly due to my 'preference' in terms of what I am looking for right now...I totally agree that Swinger's engage in a lifestyle that cannot be compared to what men like me have done - or, in my case, are attempting to do. If I ever do get to meet someone and fulfill my fantasy desire, I will have cheated on my wife. The fact that I believe my marriage conditions at present warrant such an act is for my conscience alone, the details of which I am not prepared to go into.
I would not wish to meet anyone who is not aware of my situation and as such I clearly state that I am married in my Profile and advertise the fact that I am not here with permission.
It is my situation that actually makes me seek a little erotic distraction that, ideally, does not involve intercourse. But for me to have my fun in this case generally comes across as being selfish as the needs to the Lady are ignored, which isn't fair, and hence my view that I may exceed my ideal scenario if mutually agreeable.
I guess in my case I'm trying to engage in a little light erotic teasing without the full sexual experience precisely because I am looking to cheat and I want to minimise the cheating in the event that my marriage comes right. Of course, a Swinging site is possibly not the best place to seek this as I have learnt that the majority of you appear to take the Swinging Lifestyle seriously and good on you - I wish my wife could see that this is a lifestyle that can enhance a relationship! But I would never attempt to try and make her try something she isn't comfortable with.
Anyway, just my 2p.
Sex God
Quote by venus68
Personally I choose not to meet married guys 1 on 1, I'd be lying if I said I had never played with a married man as I don't ask every guy I encountered at clubs, especially if I'm already having fun.
Your profile clearly says that you are married and you are giving anyone who should take an interest a clear opportunity to decide if they would like to turn away or find out more about you. There is no reason for grievance or annoyance towards you.
I would be annoyed if someone had chatted me up for a meet pretending to be single when they are not, but that does not appear to be what you are doing.
I also believe that there are plenty of women playing with out consent of a partner too, so it is not a gender based thing, although men might not be as bothered by it? I wouldn't know.
In conclusion I think you were just unlucky, or as suspected whispering without permission and walked into it. Not everyone is out to make an example of you.
Exactly the point I was about to make. The problem, as I see it, isn't whether someone is married or not but whether they are honest about it. If they make it clear that they are then it's up to the individual whether they want to play with that person or not.
Aside from that everyone should be treated with kindness and respect regardless of ones own moral position. People are on this site for many different reasons, which they need not make public, but there is no mandate that forces you to play with anyone you don't want to.
Sex God
To the OP
There are people here that will preach to you that you have the morals of an alley cat and that you will burn in hell for being here behind your partners/wifes back....
Myself.......I dont really care if someone is married or not........As long as they are truethful.....
I can then make a concious choice to go ahead and meet or to not...
We as a couple meet guys and we dont carry out the Spanish inquisition as to their marital status but if we get an incling they are lying or have lied to us then we wont meet them or wont meet them again if we find out after the event..
I(as the male) do meet without my wife but that is with consent and so has no bearing on your situation....
I wont preach to you about morals etc as you are the one who has to live with your lifestyle choices every day and every time you look at your partner/wife.....
Stick with it as there are women/couples here who meet married guys :thumbup:
There are people here that will preach to you that you have the morals of an alley cat and that you will burn in hell for being here behind your partners/wifes back....
Myself.......I dont really care if someone is married or not........As long as they are truethful.....
I can then make a concious choice to go ahead and meet or to not...
We as a couple meet guys and we dont carry out the Spanish inquisition as to their marital status but if we get an incling they are lying or have lied to us then we wont meet them or wont meet them again if we find out after the event..
I(as the male) do meet without my wife but that is with consent and so has no bearing on your situation....
I wont preach to you about morals etc as you are the one who has to live with your lifestyle choices every day and every time you look at your partner/wife.....
Stick with it as there are women/couples here who meet married guys :thumbup:
i quite enjoy this topic as it interests me how people see the the questions:
swinging v morality
truth v lies
marriage v swinging
and even as basic as good v evil.
the study of morality and ethics is something which interests me greatly and something that i do regularly as, believe it or not, i DO try and do the right thing.
i think one of the best ways of looking at this, is to reflect on the theory of . WHAT IS MORALITY?
Morality (from the Latin moralitas "manner, character, proper behavior") has three principal meanings.
In its first descriptive usage, morality means a code of conduct held to be authoritative in matters of right and wrong, morals are created by and define society, philosophy, religion, or individual conscience.
In its second, normative and universal sense, morality refers to an ideal code of conduct, one which would be espoused in preference to alternatives by all rational people, under specified conditions. To deny 'morality' in this sense is a position known as moral skepticism.
In its third usage, 'morality' is synonymous with ethics, the systematic philosophical study of the moral domain.
Ethics seeks to address questions such as how a moral outcome can be achieved in a specific situation (applied ethics), how moral values should be determined (normative ethics), what morals people actually abide by (descriptive ethics), what the fundamental nature of ethics or morality is, including whether it has any objective justification (meta-ethics), and how moral capacity or moral agency develops and what its nature is (moral psychology). In applied ethics, for example, the prohibition against taking human life is controversial with respect to capital punishment, abortion and wars of invasion. In normative ethics, a typical question might be whether a lie told for the sake of protecting someone from harm is justified. In meta-ethics, a key issue is the meaning of the terms "right" or "wrong". Moral realism would hold that there are true moral statements which report objective moral facts, whereas moral anti-realism would hold that morality is derived from any one of the norms prevalent in society (cultural relativism); the edicts of a god (divine command theory); is merely an expression of the speakers' sentiments (emotivism); an implied imperative (prescriptive); falsely presupposes that there are objective moral facts (error theory). Some thinkers hold that there is no correct definition of right behavior, that morality can only be judged with respect to particular situations, within the standards of particular belief systems and socio-historical contexts. This position, known as moral relativism, often cites empirical evidence from anthropology as evidence to support its claims. The opposite view, that there are universal, eternal moral truths is known as moral absolutism. Moral absolutists might concede that forces of social conformity significantly shape moral decisions, but deny that cultural norms and customs define morally right behavior.
There are always going to be those who see married people swapping/playing outside of their relationship as being wrong and immoral. There are others who will encourage it.
There are going to be those who assist couples to swap/play outside their relationship, and there are others who see this as morally wrong.
there are always going to be opposing views, and therefore victims, which i suppose you care about if you take the time to see the other side.
There is alot to be said for letting people simply get on with what ever they are doing because its a matter of personal choice and dealing with the consequences if things dont quite work out as planned.
I think the OP's situation opens up other serious matters aswell.
1) trust
2) discretion
3) relationship breakdown
so maybe its not such a good idea to "flame" this member for what , afterall, he was only contemplating, and by his own admission, not doing particularly well.
to the Op, might i be so bold as to say that it doesnt really matter how others see your situation... its how you chose to deal with it and live with it.
anyway... good luck
swinging v morality
truth v lies
marriage v swinging
and even as basic as good v evil.
the study of morality and ethics is something which interests me greatly and something that i do regularly as, believe it or not, i DO try and do the right thing.
i think one of the best ways of looking at this, is to reflect on the theory of . WHAT IS MORALITY?
Morality (from the Latin moralitas "manner, character, proper behavior") has three principal meanings.
In its first descriptive usage, morality means a code of conduct held to be authoritative in matters of right and wrong, morals are created by and define society, philosophy, religion, or individual conscience.
In its second, normative and universal sense, morality refers to an ideal code of conduct, one which would be espoused in preference to alternatives by all rational people, under specified conditions. To deny 'morality' in this sense is a position known as moral skepticism.
In its third usage, 'morality' is synonymous with ethics, the systematic philosophical study of the moral domain.
Ethics seeks to address questions such as how a moral outcome can be achieved in a specific situation (applied ethics), how moral values should be determined (normative ethics), what morals people actually abide by (descriptive ethics), what the fundamental nature of ethics or morality is, including whether it has any objective justification (meta-ethics), and how moral capacity or moral agency develops and what its nature is (moral psychology). In applied ethics, for example, the prohibition against taking human life is controversial with respect to capital punishment, abortion and wars of invasion. In normative ethics, a typical question might be whether a lie told for the sake of protecting someone from harm is justified. In meta-ethics, a key issue is the meaning of the terms "right" or "wrong". Moral realism would hold that there are true moral statements which report objective moral facts, whereas moral anti-realism would hold that morality is derived from any one of the norms prevalent in society (cultural relativism); the edicts of a god (divine command theory); is merely an expression of the speakers' sentiments (emotivism); an implied imperative (prescriptive); falsely presupposes that there are objective moral facts (error theory). Some thinkers hold that there is no correct definition of right behavior, that morality can only be judged with respect to particular situations, within the standards of particular belief systems and socio-historical contexts. This position, known as moral relativism, often cites empirical evidence from anthropology as evidence to support its claims. The opposite view, that there are universal, eternal moral truths is known as moral absolutism. Moral absolutists might concede that forces of social conformity significantly shape moral decisions, but deny that cultural norms and customs define morally right behavior.
There are always going to be those who see married people swapping/playing outside of their relationship as being wrong and immoral. There are others who will encourage it.
There are going to be those who assist couples to swap/play outside their relationship, and there are others who see this as morally wrong.
there are always going to be opposing views, and therefore victims, which i suppose you care about if you take the time to see the other side.
There is alot to be said for letting people simply get on with what ever they are doing because its a matter of personal choice and dealing with the consequences if things dont quite work out as planned.
I think the OP's situation opens up other serious matters aswell.
1) trust
2) discretion
3) relationship breakdown
so maybe its not such a good idea to "flame" this member for what , afterall, he was only contemplating, and by his own admission, not doing particularly well.
to the Op, might i be so bold as to say that it doesnt really matter how others see your situation... its how you chose to deal with it and live with it.
anyway... good luck
This argument surfaces many times. However it is often generated either by a poster effectively putting their head in a noose or by by righteous individuals who 'sniff' out a cheat or react to sufficient 'evidence'; and go into their usual response.
What is interesting to observe is that when we are confronted with something a bit too much, the usual recourse is to fall back on the values of the conventional world and attempt to apply them in an unconventional scenario. Or try to force them to work.
There are swingers who find a stronger sense of morality by practising their values within the swinging world. The sense which they perhaps found lacking in the conventional world. And of course in this scenario they have the last say in choosing and can dictate terms to their specifications. However in the conventional world their assumed elevated morality is redundant as it is being applied within the practices of non-conventional behaviour.
Equally the inexperienced adventurer looking outside their marriage may assume that swingers provide a one stop shop for anything and everything. Naturally, this idea is soon altered and a more enlightned person develops.
If married people wish to swing then they do so in the knowledge that they risk offending many conventional couples who struggle on through various marital problems but still keep their set of values uncompromised. Is saying 'I swing but I don't cheat' in anyway a consideration for less scorn from and offence to the conventional population? this is why the argument has no value in the conventional world. It simply appears to have clout here in the swinging world, because it can be weilded with more power, as it slays the unsuitable and inexperienced.
Also I am bored seeing people dismantle cheaters arguments with the same chilling logic and demeanour. There is something unpleasant and clinical in the style.
If there ever was a manifesto for swinging, cheating would have to be one of the top subjects that needed to be discussed. However it seems that it might never reach a conclusion. So perhaps its best not argued about. So for a more 'corporate' image of swinging its something that needs to get its act together despite the differences.
By all means one has to state what one wishes or does not wish to do, but I don't think it warrants the advocation of different groups within such a small social circle. Or one risks alienating people and diminishing the numbers.
What is interesting to observe is that when we are confronted with something a bit too much, the usual recourse is to fall back on the values of the conventional world and attempt to apply them in an unconventional scenario. Or try to force them to work.
There are swingers who find a stronger sense of morality by practising their values within the swinging world. The sense which they perhaps found lacking in the conventional world. And of course in this scenario they have the last say in choosing and can dictate terms to their specifications. However in the conventional world their assumed elevated morality is redundant as it is being applied within the practices of non-conventional behaviour.
Equally the inexperienced adventurer looking outside their marriage may assume that swingers provide a one stop shop for anything and everything. Naturally, this idea is soon altered and a more enlightned person develops.
If married people wish to swing then they do so in the knowledge that they risk offending many conventional couples who struggle on through various marital problems but still keep their set of values uncompromised. Is saying 'I swing but I don't cheat' in anyway a consideration for less scorn from and offence to the conventional population? this is why the argument has no value in the conventional world. It simply appears to have clout here in the swinging world, because it can be weilded with more power, as it slays the unsuitable and inexperienced.
Also I am bored seeing people dismantle cheaters arguments with the same chilling logic and demeanour. There is something unpleasant and clinical in the style.
If there ever was a manifesto for swinging, cheating would have to be one of the top subjects that needed to be discussed. However it seems that it might never reach a conclusion. So perhaps its best not argued about. So for a more 'corporate' image of swinging its something that needs to get its act together despite the differences.
By all means one has to state what one wishes or does not wish to do, but I don't think it warrants the advocation of different groups within such a small social circle. Or one risks alienating people and diminishing the numbers.
Quote by duncanlondon
What is interesting to observe is that when we are confronted with something a bit too much, the usual recourse is to fall back on the values of the conventional world and attempt to apply them in an unconventional scenario. Or try to force them to work.
Exactly.
"Hmm you could be a murderer, psychopath, burglar or armed robber. Just so long as you're not one of those 'married men', those sick, twisted freaks need locking up......."
You'd think marital status would be the least of concerns when inviting a stranger into your home/meeting them in a secluded dogging spot etc
Quote by Cfnmaction
I'm a married man who has made contact with several Members albeit failing totally to even engage in a conversation
I totally agree that Swinger's engage in a lifestyle that cannot be compared to what men like me have done - or, in my case, are attempting to do. If I ever do get to meet someone and fulfill my fantasy desire, I will have cheated on my wife. The fact that I believe my marriage conditions at present warrant such an act is for my conscience alone, the details of which I am not prepared to go into.
I would not wish to meet anyone who is not aware of my situation and as such I clearly state that I am married in my Profile and advertise the fact that I am not here with permission.
It is my situation that actually makes me seek a little erotic distraction that, ideally, does not involve intercourse. But for me to have my fun in this case generally comes across as being selfish as the needs to the Lady are ignored, which isn't fair, and hence my view that I may exceed my ideal scenario if mutually agreeable.
I guess in my case I'm trying to engage in a little light erotic teasing without the full sexual experience precisely because I am looking to cheat and I want to minimise the cheating in the event that my marriage comes right. Of course, a Swinging site is possibly not the best place to seek this as I have learnt that the majority of you appear to take the Swinging Lifestyle seriously and good on you - I wish my wife could see that this is a lifestyle that can enhance a relationship! But I would never attempt to try and make her try something she isn't comfortable with.
Anyway, just my 2p.
I think that is a really honest post Cfnmaction, was a good read :thumbup:
Quote by Dawnie
I'm a married man who has made contact with several Members albeit failing totally to even engage in a conversation
I totally agree that Swinger's engage in a lifestyle that cannot be compared to what men like me have done - or, in my case, are attempting to do. If I ever do get to meet someone and fulfill my fantasy desire, I will have cheated on my wife. The fact that I believe my marriage conditions at present warrant such an act is for my conscience alone, the details of which I am not prepared to go into.
I would not wish to meet anyone who is not aware of my situation and as such I clearly state that I am married in my Profile and advertise the fact that I am not here with permission.
It is my situation that actually makes me seek a little erotic distraction that, ideally, does not involve intercourse. But for me to have my fun in this case generally comes across as being selfish as the needs to the Lady are ignored, which isn't fair, and hence my view that I may exceed my ideal scenario if mutually agreeable.
I guess in my case I'm trying to engage in a little light erotic teasing without the full sexual experience precisely because I am looking to cheat and I want to minimise the cheating in the event that my marriage comes right. Of course, a Swinging site is possibly not the best place to seek this as I have learnt that the majority of you appear to take the Swinging Lifestyle seriously and good on you - I wish my wife could see that this is a lifestyle that can enhance a relationship! But I would never attempt to try and make her try something she isn't comfortable with.
Anyway, just my 2p.
I think that is a really honest post Cfnmaction, was a good read :thumbup:
Seconded :thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by winchwench
I'm a married man who has made contact with several Members albeit failing totally to even engage in a conversation
I totally agree that Swinger's engage in a lifestyle that cannot be compared to what men like me have done - or, in my case, are attempting to do. If I ever do get to meet someone and fulfill my fantasy desire, I will have cheated on my wife. The fact that I believe my marriage conditions at present warrant such an act is for my conscience alone, the details of which I am not prepared to go into.
I would not wish to meet anyone who is not aware of my situation and as such I clearly state that I am married in my Profile and advertise the fact that I am not here with permission.
It is my situation that actually makes me seek a little erotic distraction that, ideally, does not involve intercourse. But for me to have my fun in this case generally comes across as being selfish as the needs to the Lady are ignored, which isn't fair, and hence my view that I may exceed my ideal scenario if mutually agreeable.
I guess in my case I'm trying to engage in a little light erotic teasing without the full sexual experience precisely because I am looking to cheat and I want to minimise the cheating in the event that my marriage comes right. Of course, a Swinging site is possibly not the best place to seek this as I have learnt that the majority of you appear to take the Swinging Lifestyle seriously and good on you - I wish my wife could see that this is a lifestyle that can enhance a relationship! But I would never attempt to try and make her try something she isn't comfortable with.
Anyway, just my 2p.
I think that is a really honest post Cfnmaction, was a good read :thumbup:
Seconded :thumbup:
Thirded :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
