Me &amp; My Huge Penis

28 Oct 2004

dave i know what you mean mate. i have reservations about the whole pig penis thing myself.
i mean roger, a piggies bits are kinda spiral shaped ain't they, so you'd have to kind of rotate in a corkscrew fashion as it we're to gain entry, and then have to rotate the other way to withdraw. now i can see this becoming tricky if any kind of thrusting motion is to be achieved at all? possibly a shetland pony might have been a more suitable donor? dunno

just a thought? let us know how you get on ok?
n x x x x

28 Oct 2004

FFS it's already ome sort of chimera - I thought Todger - ahem Roger said that it was pig and elephant already. If it turns out to be a whizzing pony prick he won't know whether he's coming or going.

28 Oct 2004

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:

1 Nov 2004

Day 4 of my new life
Woke up this morning with Mount Everest in my sheets! Scaled the heights to a snow-capped peak then descended gently.
Went out to buy myself some new swimwear that properly shows off my best asset. No more sticking socks down my jocks for me! Ended up with three very nice pairs of speedos which really accentuate my third eye.
After a quick lunch, I spent some time testing the range and power of my new cannon. Most impressive!! Hard to get the stains off my wallpaper though. Note to self: hire a decorator.
Checked my emails. Nothing yet... come on girls, don't be shy. I've got what you want here, in my hands, so get in touch and you could be touching it!

1 Nov 2004

Think I would need a pic first, if it's corkscrew shaped I don't know if I fancy that........ confused

1 Nov 2004

Quote by roger743
I spent some time testing the range and power of my new cannon. Most impressive!! !

Does this mean you no longer need to leave the couch to take a leak? rolleyes

1 Nov 2004

Quote by Libra-Love
Does this mean you no longer need to leave the couch to take a leak?

I do, but now I have to walk away from the loo instead of towards it... cool

1 Nov 2004

Roger what did you do with your old penis
have you kept it in a jar as a momento

1 Nov 2004

I've got it in my freezer compartment right now. I was thinking about maybe having it stuffed and hanging it on my bedroom wall... what do you think?

1 Nov 2004

Mount it on a plaque like a mooses head and hang it in pride of place over the fire place
or alternatively use it as a novelty coat peg lol

1 Nov 2004

Roger....I see in your quest to achieve the 'ultimate' specimen you neglected to do your homework...apparently this kind of genetic modification has side effects...at this moment in time there is no known cure should you start to develop these symptons

1 Nov 2004

Wow... so not only do I now have a todger the size of a cricket bat, but pretty soon my appearance will be upgraded to "pig-ugly"? :lol2:

2 Nov 2004

Day 5 of my new life
Ah, I know why I'm not getting any replies to my advert - no pictures! My penis is so incredible the women can' t be expected to believe it without photographic proof. Snapped some nice pics of my huge hulking love-handle and put them online; when the women see them, they'll be double-drooling so much they'll have to mail me. smile

Meanwhile, the stiches are itching a little, which might be down to how much I'm wanking. I hope it's firmly attached; it'd be embarassing if I was choking the chicken one night and my my wand came off in my hand!
Spent another happy few hours surfing the women's ads to get a feel for the kind of girls I'm soon to be enjoying. One of them sounded especially enticing; Jasmine, who wants a really big one shoved so far up her bum she can lick the shaft that buggers her. Reckon I'm just the man for that job!

2 Nov 2004

:P Ah....Look, my favourite prick is back. Howzit going Rog? wink

You like the flowers I got you up there? ^ ^ ^

3 Nov 2004

Oh yes, they were very beautiful. They look a bit insignificant next to my new penis, though. ;)

3 Nov 2004

So Roger.
With a cock of that size you must have big balls(specially to print a story like that) lol

Will you need to use a truss to support your balls, I can reckomend a good company for made to measure truss or trusses!

3 Nov 2004

Not so much a truss...

3 Nov 2004

:P Ya gonna loose ya street cred with that battered old thing mate.
Try something more sporty and compact like this....

12 Nov 2004

Day 6 of my New Life
Apparently Swinging Heaven is gonna be offline later today. Hopefully they'll fix the email while they're at it - all the messages from juicy women wanting to fuck my newly-elongated penis aren't getting through. Come on guys, do your jobs, you're keeping women from their orgasms here!
Thinking about signing up for my pub's football team. I can't play, but when the other guys see my tackle in the showers after the match, they won't half be impressed!
The girl in the fishmongers must've noticed the bulging crotch of my jeans (note to self: buy new jeans, the old ones are a bit painful!) because she was flirting with me and slicing my cod in a very suggestive way. If SH still haven't fixed my email, think I'll go back tomorrow and let her be a heron to my herring. blast

13 Nov 2004

:P Awww......Roger luv, look what you've done.
Didn't the doctor tell you 'surgery stops play' until it's completely healed?
Looks like you've gone and pulled it off now mate :shock:
tut...tut..... rolleyes

13 Nov 2004

Quote by Libra-Love
Looks like you've gone and pulled it off now mate :shock:

Not all of it, just the first 25%. :twisted:

13 Nov 2004

Quote by roger743
Not so much a truss...