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moles!!

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There's a mole in my garden dear swingers, dears swingers!!
woke up on Wed morning to find a mound of soil in my border, thinking it had been squirrels digging up their nuts I left it.
Thurs another one - left it as I thought it would move on smile
Fri another one - started laughing at Jasper Carrots famous mole :giggle:
Sat another one - getting a bit evil now
OMFG woke up this morning & two more mad want Jasper Carrots gun now & planning to stay up all night but will probably :yawn:
Watch it it will come up with glasses on!!
How on earth can I get rid of the fecking thing before it digs up my whole garden
Some-one has already kindly told me to put musical cards down the holes ( kiss thanks hun)
would try anything now before I get pest control out that will cost me about 80 quid to gas it/them :shock: Don't really want to kill it/them just move it on
Ah. The mole.
Mr winch has spent many hours standing in the garden with a pitchfork in the hope of inserting it in said moles head. Between him & our neighbour they have tried everything, from wee to windmills.
The answer is- go to France.
Really.
The French can sell stuff thats unavailable to Joe Public here in supermarkets, for just a couple of quid.
I know you don't want to kill them, but give it time wink
You could do this with it.

DD lol
Quote by winchwench
Ah. The mole.
Mr winch has spent many hours standing in the garden with a pitchfork in the hope of inserting it in said moles head. Between him & our neighbour they have tried everything, from wee to windmills.
The answer is- go to France.
Really.
The French can sell stuff thats unavailable to Joe Public here in supermarkets, for just a couple of quid.
I know you don't want to kill them, but give it time wink

what do I say? Bonjour monsiuer, can I have some poisiono for my feckin moleleo :giggle:
laughing but this is fighting talk now- I'm on a mission
well with this rain........
it saves digging a trench
Quote by devondelight
You could do this with it.

DD lol

I would do DD if I could catch the feckin thing rotflmao
There are humane traps that can be used. You have to find one of the runs, fit it into the run and then wait. Moles are territorial so you will probably have only one pair, but boy do they dig. Good luck...........and when it is time to get rid of it.........sneak into somebodies garden that has pee'd you off and release it :twisted:
Dave_Notts
Quote by Dave__Notts
There are humane traps that can be used. You have to find one of the runs, fit it into the run and then wait. Moles are territorial so you will probably have only one pair, but boy do they dig. Good luck...........and when it is time to get rid of it.........sneak into somebodies garden that has pee'd you off and release it :twisted:
Dave_Notts

Naughty man Dave
smackbottom :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
DD
Quote by devondelight
There are humane traps that can be used. You have to find one of the runs, fit it into the run and then wait. Moles are territorial so you will probably have only one pair, but boy do they dig. Good luck...........and when it is time to get rid of it.........sneak into somebodies garden that has pee'd you off and release it :twisted:
Dave_Notts

Naughty man Dave
smackbottom :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
DD
have been wishing that it would go in my neighbours direction but it hasn't as yet rolleyes
Quote by Dave__Notts
There are humane traps that can be used. You have to find one of the runs, fit it into the run and then wait. Moles are territorial so you will probably have only one pair, but boy do they dig. Good luck...........and when it is time to get rid of it.........sneak into somebodies garden that has pee'd you off and release it :twisted:
Dave_Notts

Can you buy Moles???? :twisted:
Quote by hisandhers
There are humane traps that can be used. You have to find one of the runs, fit it into the run and then wait. Moles are territorial so you will probably have only one pair, but boy do they dig. Good luck...........and when it is time to get rid of it.........sneak into somebodies garden that has pee'd you off and release it :twisted:
Dave_Notts

Naughty man Dave
smackbottom :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
DD
have been wishing that it would go in my neighbours direction but it hasn't as yet rolleyes
Oh group spanking session developing here me thinks.
This is getting too much like fun now lol
DD :wary:
Quote by devondelight
There are humane traps that can be used. You have to find one of the runs, fit it into the run and then wait. Moles are territorial so you will probably have only one pair, but boy do they dig. Good luck...........and when it is time to get rid of it.........sneak into somebodies garden that has pee'd you off and release it :twisted:
Dave_Notts

Naughty man Dave
smackbottom :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
DD
have been wishing that it would go in my neighbours direction but it hasn't as yet rolleyes
Oh group spanking session developing here me thinks.
This is getting too much like fun now lol
DD :wary:
can we have a spanking session in my garden then- the vibrations may frighten them off!!
arhh got an :idea: anyone got any old vibrators you don't use anymore - I could put them down the holes biggrin
Quote by hisandhers
There are humane traps that can be used. You have to find one of the runs, fit it into the run and then wait. Moles are territorial so you will probably have only one pair, but boy do they dig. Good luck...........and when it is time to get rid of it.........sneak into somebodies garden that has pee'd you off and release it :twisted:
Dave_Notts

Naughty man Dave
smackbottom :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
DD
have been wishing that it would go in my neighbours direction but it hasn't as yet rolleyes
Oh group spanking session developing here me thinks.
This is getting too much like fun now lol
DD :wary:
can we have a spanking session in my garden then- the vibrations may frighten them off!!
arhh got an :idea: anyone got any old vibrators you don't use anymore - I could put them down the holes biggrin
The moles will be knocking on your door for spare batteries or lube lol .
Dave__Notts
I have just googled mole traps and there are some very intersting ones out there! :shock: evil looking and very dangerous!
Hey look everyone the good people of Swinging heaven have found another animal they want to kill bolt
Quote by tweeky
Hey look everyone the good people of Swinging heaven have found another animal they want to kill bolt

Some of them are traps. ie you catch the dear little darlings alive and then release them else where away from your garden.
Quote by Sarah
Hey look everyone the good people of Swinging heaven have found another animal they want to kill bolt

Some of them are traps. ie you catch the dear little darlings alive and then release them else where away from your garden.
Its a joke you willl find the part that makes it click in another thread wink
FB is sure there's an analogy to be had regarding moles on the site!
Quote by Freckledbird
FB is sure there's an analogy to be had regarding moles on the site!

Like rats perhaps? smile
Quote by tweeky
FB is sure there's an analogy to be had regarding moles on the site!

Like rats perhaps? smile
Oi leave my rats outta this!

:lol2:
The answer is- go to France.

Bonjour!! wave
what do I say? Bonjour monsiuer, can I have some poisiono for my feckin moleleo

You could try... Bonjour M. Shark et Mrs DD, faites vous croyez un shag??? (Bugger the moles!! that works for us!!! :twisted: )
Quote by tweeky
Hey look everyone the good people of Swinging heaven have found another animal they want to kill bolt

I suppose you'd like to think of hisandhers' mole as human and give it a name. rolleyes
Okay, I suggest:
Adrian
Quote by MikeNorth
Hey look everyone the good people of Swinging heaven have found another animal they want to kill bolt

I suppose you'd like to think of hisandhers' mole as human and give it a name. rolleyes
Okay, I suggest:
Adrian
13 & 1/3?
:doh:
Quote by cu3b4ll
:doh:

What? dunno
:giggle:
Quote by Kiss
:doh:

What? dunno
:giggle:
I couldn't believe it took me over 10 seconds to work that one* out!
You can get a thing that is the size of a rolling pin that has to be buried completely in the ground and it vibrates periodically. Their success depends on the ground they`re in as some soils transfer the vibrations better than others. Find these things at your local agricultural/equestrian suppliers. You MAY find then at a garden centre depending who they are.
I have a 2 acre lawn, and fight a constant battle with moles, recently got up one morning to find 18 huge molehills had appeared in one night.
I've tried every kind of mole scarer, setting my own traps, allsorts of old wives remedies but to no avail..
Now I pay a guy to catch them, he's a real old country farmer, a right character, but Boy he's good... last year he caught 2 with his bare hands whilst setting traps..
The 18 molehills that appeared overnight appear to have been the work of ONE mole.. (he got caught the next day, and released somewhere a long way away), and since then we have been mole hill free again.. until next time..
My guy charges me £20 quid per episode...
My advice.. get the yellow pages, look up farmers, and start ringing round the smaller ones, asking if they know any mole catchers..
Good Luck..
Quote by MikeNorth
Hey look everyone the good people of Swinging heaven have found another animal they want to kill bolt

I suppose you'd like to think of hisandhers' mole as human and give it a name. rolleyes
Okay, I suggest:
Adrian
Hey Mike ... I suggest you try reading the whole thread wink
Quote by tweeky
Hey look everyone the good people of Swinging heaven have found another animal they want to kill :bolt:

Some of them are traps. ie you catch the dear little darlings alive and then release them else where away from your garden.
Its a joke you willl find the part that makes it click in another thread :wink:
In case you are still confused heres the link you require. My second post in the thread is what you are looking for smile
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopicpage/147181/40.html