More viewers than doer's....?

25 Jul 2004

Quote by Calista
Again a fairly high achiever here ... (not that I'm bragging) and whilst I come across as very confident online I do suffer terribly with shyness ... I can't approach anyone at all (unless it's business and then it's because I immediately have the upper hand).
I registered back in June but it took me almost a month to really get posting ...

Wow! Didn't think you were the shy type Calista.
I never thought I was shy until I came on here. I am very shy about posting on here but in my 'real' life, I can talk to anybody. Maybe this site brings out our alter egos.

25 Jul 2004

Many of us on here are NOT what we seem?? maybe that is why it works so well? Like superman we have a veil of secrecy??? I kind of like the fact i do not look like the inner persona I have on here because you would NEVER think that if you met me in real life wink

25 Jul 2004

Quote by TheFacilitator

Again a fairly high achiever here ... (not that I'm bragging) and whilst I come across as very confident online I do suffer terribly with shyness ... I can't approach anyone at all (unless it's business and then it's because I immediately have the upper hand).
I registered back in June but it took me almost a month to really get posting ...

Wow! Didn't think you were the shy type Calista.
I never thought I was shy until I came on here. I am very shy about posting on here but in my 'real' life, I can talk to anybody. Maybe this site brings out our alter egos.
The PC affords a lot of anonimity thankfully cool

Once I know people, then the confidence comes back and I'm generally a right gobby flirt :twisted: ...... initially, in situations that are new or strange and in front of strangers I really really struggle. redface

I never let it put me off for too long tho' ... usually I make an arse of myself and the ice gets broken rolleyes

25 Jul 2004

I have only just read this thread, as I have been away at the Scottish munch. I very much agree with the posts by Ice Pie and by Northwestern cpl, it is very unfair to berate people who just want to browse - I do not think they are doing anyone any harm. And as Ric says, people will post in their own good time. In that way they are more likely to post something worthwhile, rather than just posting any old thing just for the sake of posting. There has been some real drivel (IMHO) posted lately, a few people seem to be posting purely to up their total posts, reach the next multiple of 100, which then results in a round of congratulations so that everyone else can up their totals without really making any effort to say anything - it's just numbers. I'm not saying there's anything harmful in this, but it can mean that some really intelligent points in the cafe get lost in the more frivolous ones.
Some people are going to give me a bollocking for this, I can tell, but I am only saying that I would like to see every post actually SAY something, one way or another - and most do.
Mike

25 Jul 2004

I can understand people who are frightened to post or just come to browse thinking they can't join in - not that I had that problem because Mr RSAB2 had signed us up before I knew anything about it. However that said I think that once you make the leap you have to be even more careful because this place is ADDICTIVE!
Mrs RSAB2 xxx

25 Jul 2004

Quote by MikeNorth
I have only just read this thread, as I have been away at the Scottish munch. I very much agree with the posts by Ice Pie and by Northwestern cpl, it is very unfair to berate people who just want to browse - I do not think they are doing anyone any harm. And as Ric says, people will post in their own good time. In that way they are more likely to post something worthwhile, rather than just posting any old thing just for the sake of posting. There has been some real drivel (IMHO) posted lately, a few people seem to be posting purely to up their total posts, reach the next multiple of 100, which then results in a round of congratulations so that everyone else can up their totals without really making any effort to say anything - it's just numbers. I'm not saying there's anything harmful in this, but it can mean that some really intelligent points in the cafe get lost in the more frivolous ones.
Some people are going to give me a bollocking for this, I can tell, but I am only saying that I would like to see every post actually SAY something, one way or another - and most do.
Mike

I do take your point Mike, and I'm certainly not going to presume to give you a bollocking just because I don't see it quite the same way you do, but I really don't think anyone attaches any real importance to the post count - For me, it's not really a "well done for posting X number of times", so much as a "we're glad you've stuck around long enough to do it." It's just a convenient excuse to give people a bit of recognition from time to time for no special reason, except to say you're still valued and we like having you here. That's the way I see it anyway, and so I don't think it really matters how many posts are just meaningless banter, because nobody sensible thinks the post count makes you more important or anything like that. For me, and this is just my personal taste, the banter is as important as the serious stuff when I just want to wind down after a hard day and not have to think. Posting drivel and reading other people's drivel helps me to do that, and then, when I'm suitably de-stressed, i'm in a better frame of mind to enjoy the more substantial contributions.
And if anyone does deliberately post purely to get their count up, I don't think anybody but themselves is going to think it's anything more than a number.
So, congratulations on your imminent post number 500, not because I think there's anything special about 500, but because I enjoy reading your posts and the occasion of your 500th just happens to give me a convenient excuse to say so. biggrin

Best regards,
Ice

25 Jul 2004

Hi there,
I must admit that I am new to this forum, but have had a couple of ads in the "Photo ads" section for a few months now. Like probably 90% of the men in that section who are seeking women, I have had no successes at all in finding a lady or ladies who actually want the "Me" experience (for loss of a better polite description).
The only replies that I have had so far have been from women offering "services" (which I reported if they hadn't been spotted my our brilliant mods).
I have had a couple of encounters with ladies that I have met in real life though, so maybe this internet thing can go against the single healthy and clean male to some degree.
You see I think that a woman is more likely to repond openly to a man who is friendly, articulate, has a sense of humour and is genuinely interested in her and her desires...than to a bland ad with a pic or two, badly spelled brief sentences and poor grammar.
To see the fellow for his real worth therefore, it is better for her to see him for real right from the start, as she can put a picture of him together far better if there is chemistry going on too.
Men are different, they can respond to the slightest of things. A mere suggestion of sexiness, cheekiness, or even the glint in an eye perhaps. Mens trigger levels are far lower than those of women, that is a fact of nature.
So as I see it, (and to get to the real point), this forum may open channels to a persona in a far better way that the ads in the "Photo Ad" section, by way of being that bit more personal, but to me, nothing beats that spark when you meet a like minded partner in the flesh, totally at random!
Neo

Quote by rocky horror
Part of the idea of this swinging site, is to have oddles of contacts for us all to enjoy. However often we see more casual visitors than members. We also have LOADS of members who NEVER post and so forth never meet anyone. Like in ANYTHING in life, you have to be a GUNNA or a DOER. If you wanna have some fun, meet for sex and have a great time...enlist and post! We all started off with ONE post, and kind of got into the 'swing'...pun intended...? It wont kill you for heavens sake...another pun?
The right person may well be here right now, and if they posted, hey you have a great meet? AGAIN I ask for anyone shy or unsure to begin to ask if you really like the idea of sex with someone unihibited, and if so why not introduce yourself? I cant say from experience I have met anyone for sex on here YET, but I have had some bloody good laughs along the way.
So, if you want to meet people on a great site for gods sake join in! Be a doer NOT a gunna...the world is full of gunnas and they never get around to achieving much?

25 Jul 2004

Very nice of you, Ice, thanks...I was deliberately going to keep my 500th post, well, not just low-key, but NO-key! I actually think there's a bit of merit in sticking around for a whole year and celebrating that, as Jas-Tim did recently, but number of posts? Well, perhaps someone will devise a poll or something - I already know of one person who agrees with me....thanks to that person for the best laugh I've had here for a while.
Mike.

25 Jul 2004

I do find the number of posts useful .... not in a competition way but it shows how much people are committed .... those who have a recent joining date and high post count I'm wary of (having said that I'm not doing to badly :shock: ) but those with a longish date and high post count indicates their commitment to me.
I appreciate that post number is insignficant in the grand scheme of things but I'm more likely to pay attention to consistency this way ....

26 Jul 2004

I must admit I don't post as much as I should but.
I practically live in an internet cafe. I'm becoming a boring b*****d and I can't hook up with anyone in the Glasgow area. (probably because I'm registered as single and Jags will accuse me of spamming the site for a quick shag please)
Anyway thats my reasons for lurking and not doing as, rightly so, these forums are not for single guys looking for (as I said before) and I don't want to come over as another single guy with brains in my dick.
So Jags or any other weegie wummen out there meet me in the cafe in St Vincent St. any weekday afternoon, I'll even pay for the coffee.
I know I should post more but jings crivens help ma boab by the time I've read trough all the postings my lunch break is over.
And the Chatroom scares me.

26 Jul 2004

Im a self confessed lurker, and not ashmaed lol

I always lurk on forums before I join to get an idea o what is accetable etc. Due to the nature of this site I think thats doubley important so newbies such as me and the mrs dont end upo writing completely idiot ads and annoy people :lol:

26 Jul 2004

Mars is a lurker, he reads the threads, I share the PMs, he sometimes adds his input through me, very occassionally by himself (yes, he has posted a few times!), it`s just what he is the most comfortable with. Some people just aren`t geared to communicating via the PC, he likes to see who he`s talking to. He`ll be attending a few munches with me smile

Venusxxx

26 Jul 2004

Just to reiterate my original point as of this minute....
72 on this site.....
25 members and 47 visitors...
The idea was to hopefully encourage more to join in and not to knock. I just think they are missing out and maybe we are to without THEIR input....

26 Jul 2004

I see, well threads do tend to evolve off into tangents! Yes the guest count is rather weighty, however, some forums have a 15 minute display (active in the last 15 minutes)which could cause a member`s status as guest to remain visible sometime after they have logged in. It may not be as bad as it looks. Just a thought smile

Venusxxx

26 Jul 2004

I am a lurker too - but with the express intention of learning and getting to know more information.
Thinking about swinging is easy....actually doing anything is a BIG step.
Lucy

26 Jul 2004

Quote by lucyluce
I am a lurker too - but with the express intention of learning and getting to know more information.
Thinking about swinging is easy....actually doing anything is a BIG step.
Lucy

very true lucy, but in my short time on here there are plenty of people here who will help in any way they can smile

26 Jul 2004

One of my problems is that I'm middle aged and even though I'm told I'm not bad looking, I know I have stretch marks and my breasts aren't as firm as they were etc....a confidence crisis really.
Lucy

26 Jul 2004

Quote by lucyluce
One of my problems is that I'm middle aged and even though I'm told I'm not bad looking, I know I have stretch marks and my breasts aren't as firm as they were etc....a confidence crisis really.
Lucy

Lucy being middle aged isn't a problem its a positive advantage. You have amassed a wealth of knowledge and social skills not least of which is your humility. Don't be afraid of making a fool of yourself ....hell there are many on here like me that make total prat of themselves. You have a voice enjoy it and whats more its in total anonimity if you wish.
And as for stretch marks you are one of billions on this planetwith them, they are as common as carpets ....and it doesn't stop them being laid wink

Thats a joke not a proposition .lol Serioulsy stretch marks are of little consequence to us blokes I assure you.
So come dip your toes in the water and welcome smile

It's nice being wet lol

26 Jul 2004

Lucy,
Welcome from me .... i have suffered witha confidence thing for a long time, but recently lost a bit of weight and it did boost me. I got brave enough to let hubby take some pics of me although refused to let him use colour (it showed the stretchmarks and scars up too much).
I'm not even one for going topless on a beach .... but I bit the bullet popped a couple of pics up and as my avatar and I've loads of comments ... pm's, emails and in thread comments .... about how great the pics are ... and they really aren't anything special.
My confidence is growing by the week
once you get to know a few people ... trust me you'll be fine and your confidence will soar.

26 Jul 2004

Quote by lucyluce
One of my problems is that I'm middle aged and even though I'm told I'm not bad looking, I know I have stretch marks and my breasts aren't as firm as they were etc....a confidence crisis really.
Lucy

Join the club hun, I`m terribly sensitive about that kind of thing also. Daft really, because people here are nothing if not realistic. We are all human.............well, some of us anyway! lol

Venusxxx

26 Jul 2004

Lucyluce wrote:

One of my problems is that I'm middle aged and even though I'm told I'm not bad looking, I know I have stretch marks and my breasts aren't as firm as they were etc....a confidence crisis really.
Lucy

Believe me Lucyluce, I attend a swinging club on occasions and there are people of all shapes, sizes, looks and ages to be found there. And if that wasn't reassuring enough for you, in some of the most popular playrooms the lighting is very very low!
Personality is more important than looks for many or most of the people who go swinging. A good sense of humour, and a frankness and honesty about the lack of confidence which (nearly) everyone feels when they start out, are also necessary. Self-confidence takes time to build up in any new activity - swingers are all pretty normal people really.
Mike.

26 Jul 2004

LUCYLUCE...
Everything goes south in later life hunny... As is said you have to accept yourself...I have.
Ok on being unsure to post and as said earlier it is easier to think about swinging than doing it. The whole point is to come on and get a few posts to join in. I stand to get a hand/face/arse slapped, but eventually new blood is needed to get things moving. So many have joined since I did and contributed more than i have due to time and interesting subjects...which keep us all going.
Anyone is always welcome to say hi in a pm to me and I would help anyone to get started. I think a few ex newbies will remember me for that and it was done to me long ago by blue/heather/kitkat and not forgetting jags of cause. I think it did bring a few out of the woodwork and good on you for finding the post keys, and it upset a few others, but we are all still friends and I love them all in different degree's. I just run out of pertinent, intelligent and poinient questions sometimes...but then dont we all?

26 Jul 2004

Im just stripping off!!! ready to jump in with my big feet. Wish me luck.. here goes... time to de-lurk.
Although... whilst I've lurked a lot.. I have visited quite a few dogging sites and therefore not a total lurker. I've had things thrown at my car and been chased down the road. I'm not shy biggrin

26 Jul 2004

We can see that! You`ll have to lose the AV though, cock shots are not allowed!
Venusxxx

26 Jul 2004

welcome matie but you may want to change the avitar a bit?? I know you must be proud of your willy but I dont really think you would like to see mine everytime you look down the listings? It is just one of the things we think needs to be a bit less in your face buut welcome again...sorry??

26 Jul 2004

Quote by lucyluce
One of my problems is that I'm middle aged and even though I'm told I'm not bad looking, I know I have stretch marks and my breasts aren't as firm as they were etc....a confidence crisis really.
Lucy

Trust me. If there's one thing this site can do, it's boost your confidence and self esteem and that's a guarantee.......
or double your money back*. wink

:mrgreen:
*SH or easy do not charge any fees. This post is purely for comedic value and is NOT to be taken seriously at all.....ever.......in any way (apart from the self esteem bit).
Oh and Dommo69withpic, you really need to loose that avatar before Jags sees it smackbottom

26 Jul 2004

O.k I'm not gonna lurk anymore..
biggrin

Hello, nice to meet you all, please be nice to me wink

26 Jul 2004

Hi girlyspur, welcome - they're a great bunch here...well, most of them.... hope you enjoy it here.
Mike.

26 Jul 2004

welcom gurlyspur

27 Jul 2004

Quote by rocky horror
What MANY do not see is that it cuts out the BOL-- LOCKS we all have to suffer in general life. On here I can flirt, be MYSELF, not the person everyone sees day to day. I have found some warmth, genuine funny/serious and good people on here, who can tolerate ALL that life offers. On here we can laugh about thinks we cant discuss in our normal lives, and find out things that puzzle us but we cant ask our friends or workmates.

Spot on, I like it here. Here I can be myself and nobody tuts. (except Mark (I got told off today))