Moving !!!!

9 Mar 2005

Maybe:
If instead of transferring your account to your new address you cancel it when you move, then ask to be connected at your new place, as you will no longer have an account they will treat you as a 'brand new customer', connect you up in five minutes, give you the three-in-one package for half price, send 17 dancing girls round your house to entertain you, walk your dog, do your shopping, give you a blowjob...
Then after a month you won't be a 'brand new customer' anymore and they'll go back to treating you like shit. confused

9 Mar 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
Maybe:
If instead of transferring your account to your new address you cancel it when you move, then ask to be connected at your new place, as you will no longer have an account they will treat you as a 'brand new customer', connect you up in five minutes, give you the three-in-one package for half price, send 17 dancing girls round your house to entertain you, walk your dog, do your shopping, give you a blowjob...
Then after a month you won't be a 'brand new customer' anymore and they'll go back to treating you like shit.

Customer service's is not what it was...When BT had the monopoly you got treated like shit from day one!!

9 Mar 2005

Quote by manofmuchfun
Maybe:
If instead of transferring your account to your new address you cancel it when you move, then ask to be connected at your new place, as you will no longer have an account they will treat you as a 'brand new customer', connect you up in five minutes, give you the three-in-one package for half price, send 17 dancing girls round your house to entertain you, walk your dog, do your shopping, give you a blowjob...
Then after a month you won't be a 'brand new customer' anymore and they'll go back to treating you like shit.

Now thats a thought ....a new account with a different provider ! wasnt thinking ! or maybe threaten em with thought of a new provider !
but your right about being treated as shit ! ........as a new customer I had to wait from Aug 6th to sept 7th last year to have the package installed, ......two weeks after that my phone went dead ! so I sent various e-mails, sat in the telephone box on numerous occaisions......to be told theres a fault on the line ! fuck me , as if I didnt know that ! .....anyway I got an email saying it would take a month to rectify ! it didnt..........from end of Sept to Jan 14th this year ! no phone ! ...........now I had emailed various times....could even ring my own number but no ring tone in house ! ....but its working they said......I said it fucking isnt well ring me and see ! ....oh we have fucked up the wiring , we'll send an engineer later today ! ........yup was done in 5 mins ! ........this was only done cos I stood in the middle of a precinct shouting at the NTL girl who sold me the package in the shopping centre ! ..........but whats the option ?
Pop into your local Comet/Curries/PC World .... pick up a disk for an ISP who offers an internet connection other than broadband .............pop the disk into yourcomputer and you have instant connection.
I think you pay by credit card .... you might have limited access .... but it's better that no connection at all !
Lucy

9 Mar 2005

Quote by lucyslovely
Maybe:
If instead of transferring your account to your new address you cancel it when you move, then ask to be connected at your new place, as you will no longer have an account they will treat you as a 'brand new customer', connect you up in five minutes, give you the three-in-one package for half price, send 17 dancing girls round your house to entertain you, walk your dog, do your shopping, give you a blowjob...
Then after a month you won't be a 'brand new customer' anymore and they'll go back to treating you like shit.

Now thats a thought ....a new account with a different provider ! wasnt thinking ! or maybe threaten em with thought of a new provider !
but your right about being treated as shit ! ........as a new customer I had to wait from Aug 6th to sept 7th last year to have the package installed, ......two weeks after that my phone went dead ! so I sent various e-mails, sat in the telephone box on numerous occaisions......to be told theres a fault on the line ! fuck me , as if I didnt know that ! .....anyway I got an email saying it would take a month to rectify ! it didnt..........from end of Sept to Jan 14th this year ! no phone ! ...........now I had emailed various times....could even ring my own number but no ring tone in house ! ....but its working they said......I said it fucking isnt well ring me and see ! ....oh we have fucked up the wiring , we'll send an engineer later today ! ........yup was done in 5 mins ! ........this was only done cos I stood in the middle of a precinct shouting at the NTL girl who sold me the package in the shopping centre ! ..........but whats the option ?
Pop into your local Comet/Curries/PC World .... pick up a disk for an ISP who offers an internet connection other than broadband .............pop the disk into yourcomputer and you have instant connection.
I think you pay by credit card .... you might have limited access .... but it's better that no connection at all !
Lucy
he wont have a phone line even tho sad

9 Mar 2005

If you are considering changing your ISP then you might want to have a look at BT.
Thier prices and broadband speeds are quite good now.
HTH.

9 Mar 2005

Quote by manofmuchfun
thanks for help ! I was gonna stick with the NTL package ......but I didnt want to wait a month just because I move ! ......I need to gee em up.....there must be a way somehow !

Use a dial up modem while they mess around for a month. When I changed ISP's last year, it took about 6 weeks in all without Internet access.

9 Mar 2005

Quote by manofmuchfun
Maybe:
If instead of transferring your account to your new address you cancel it when you move, then ask to be connected at your new place, as you will no longer have an account they will treat you as a 'brand new customer', connect you up in five minutes, give you the three-in-one package for half price, send 17 dancing girls round your house to entertain you, walk your dog, do your shopping, give you a blowjob...
Then after a month you won't be a 'brand new customer' anymore and they'll go back to treating you like shit.

Now thats a thought ....a new account with a different provider ! wasnt thinking ! or maybe threaten em with thought of a new provider !
but your right about being treated as shit ! ........as a new customer I had to wait from Aug 6th to sept 7th last year to have the package installed, ......two weeks after that my phone went dead ! so I sent various e-mails, sat in the telephone box on numerous occaisions......to be told theres a fault on the line ! fuck me , as if I didnt know that ! .....anyway I got an email saying it would take a month to rectify ! it didnt..........from end of Sept to Jan 14th this year ! no phone ! ...........now I had emailed various times....could even ring my own number but no ring tone in house ! ....but its working they said......I said it fucking isnt well ring me and see ! ....oh we have fucked up the wiring , we'll send an engineer later today ! ........yup was done in 5 mins ! ........this was only done cos I stood in the middle of a precinct shouting at the NTL girl who sold me the package in the shopping centre ! ..........but whats the option ?
Read a book ??

9 Mar 2005

Quote by manofmuchfun
how do I do that ? I'm running broadband here an I can only assume connections the other end ?grr internet cafe and mobile again ! ............pissed off manofmuchfun !

Buy a dialup modem, they are not expensive. Then you can sort out an account with an ISP the same day. You can use it until the broadband is set up.

10 Mar 2005

Quote by manofmuchfun
......... why does it take NTL about a month to do something that could be done in a couple of hours at most !
is there a way to speed the process ?

Well you can send them this letter: biggrin

Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your
3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three
month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not
previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of
monolithic proportions.
Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue
your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or
more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading
material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking
vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.
My initial installation was cancelled without warning or notice, resulting in
my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your
technician to arrive. When he did not arrive at all, I spent a further 57
minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying
Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... how? I
alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testicles for
a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although
the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum.
Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After several further
telephone calls (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my modem arrived
... a total of six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%...
these are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to
Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend. I am still waiting
for my telephone connection. I have made nine telephone calls on my mobile
to your no-help line this week, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a
variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled
bollock jugglers.
I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will
call me back), that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me
back), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a
telephone line is available (and then been cut off), that I will be
transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is
available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that
your office is closed), that I will be transferred to someone who knows
whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to
the irritating Scottish robot woman.... and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to.
Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my
frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music.
Forgive me, therefore, if I continue. I thought BT were shit, that they had
attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one,
anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more
obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose
NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there?
How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable
dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you
truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum: incompetents of
the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like
brilliant beacons of success in the filthy puss-filled mire of your
seemingly limitless inadequacy.
Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to
receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise, and
cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the
services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver
- any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief -
although these feelings will quickly be replaced by derision, and even
perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.
I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter
tray, as an _expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you, and
your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become
desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of
posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not
experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the
very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you
irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats,
Yours psychotically,
(letter originally received by email as joke but presumed to be true)