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MT
Personally - it would make no difference to me.
If I got to know you online and enjoyed your online company - it wouldn't stop me meeting you - and if I found you physically attractive it wouldn't make any difference whatsover.
But... if met you and wasn't physically or mentally attracted to you - which lets face it could hapepn with any person I met - str8, gay, bi, tv etc then I may find it dificult to tell you - because my immediate thought would be that you would assume it was becuase of your sexuality. So I suppose if I was a weaker person the easier option would be to not meet you.
Does that make ANY sense????
If I got to know you online and enjoyed your online company - it wouldn't stop me meeting you - and if I found you physically attractive it wouldn't make any difference whatsover.
But... if met you and wasn't physically or mentally attracted to you - which lets face it could hapepn with any person I met - str8, gay, bi, tv etc then I may find it dificult to tell you - because my immediate thought would be that you would assume it was becuase of your sexuality. So I suppose if I was a weaker person the easier option would be to not meet you.
Does that make ANY sense????
Sex God
Maybe it's because it's a secret, revealed at a time of your choosing and taking people by surprise? Perhaps if people knew from the outset, they could just take you as you are, whereas if they think you're something, then find out you're something else, they might feel deceived, or even embarassed. I think if you're up front from the outset, many people would be more accepting than if it were revealed later. I honestly don't think you have anything to gain by developing online friendships on what some might see as a false premise. Tell them in the beginning (or not at all if you so choose) - if they can't deal with it, that's their problem.
Hey Gurl...
I'm not gonna pretend I'm an expert as I have not knowingly met a trans-sexual.
However, the internet is a faceless medium that means that people can act however they want to with no fear of repercussion.
They also do not know you.
Meteting people face to face gives an oportunity for people to take you at face value and use your personality a lot better to make their judgement...
Perhaps it may be a better idea to stay meeting people in person, as at least that you know what you are getting too.
anyone can write 'ooh you look sexy' and 'you make me hot'
too many fake people on the t'internet.
Like I said, no expert..... but thought I would like to offer my point of view.
take care
J
xx
I'm not gonna pretend I'm an expert as I have not knowingly met a trans-sexual.
However, the internet is a faceless medium that means that people can act however they want to with no fear of repercussion.
They also do not know you.
Meteting people face to face gives an oportunity for people to take you at face value and use your personality a lot better to make their judgement...
Perhaps it may be a better idea to stay meeting people in person, as at least that you know what you are getting too.
anyone can write 'ooh you look sexy' and 'you make me hot'
too many fake people on the t'internet.
Like I said, no expert..... but thought I would like to offer my point of view.
take care
J
xx
Sex God
Well, I can't see why any truly open-minded person would have a problem with that.
I'm not sure what your reasons are for wanting to move on, particularly as you've posed a question to which I'm sure you will be hanging around here long enough to read the replies.
Why deny yourself the opportunity to mix it (either in a cyber sense or for real) with the folk in this forum? Who knows, but we might be the most broad-minded people you'll ever come across?
Good luck to you and be happy!!
I'm not sure what your reasons are for wanting to move on, particularly as you've posed a question to which I'm sure you will be hanging around here long enough to read the replies.
Why deny yourself the opportunity to mix it (either in a cyber sense or for real) with the folk in this forum? Who knows, but we might be the most broad-minded people you'll ever come across?
Good luck to you and be happy!!
Quote by gurl
But now I feel it is probably time for me to move on.
I feel it's actually quite the opposite. Now is the time to stay and see what happens.
I admire your openness and honesty and I'm positive that others on here will too. I think you should stick around, you might be pleasantly surprised.
I've no doubt that the infrequent closed minded passer-by will have something nasty to say but the vast majority of people on here certainly aren't like that. If you do get messages from this kind of person then please report it to one of the moderators. It won't be tolerated.
Steve
I'm sure your happy with yourself and how you feel. Real friends understand, listen, and stand by you. If they don't they're not true friends, and don't waste your time on them. To quote an old phrase Its their loss not yours. Be who you want to be and sod everyone else (apart from you true friends).
Quote by gurl
online, admitting to being Transsexual seems to be the 'Kiss of Death'l
If that's a reference to the reaction you've had from people on this site, then for the first time ever, I think I'm genuinely disappointed with Swinging Heaven.
It's a pity if you decide to leave us, because it sounds like you could have taught us a few lessons about understanding and tolerance that we need to learn.
It seems to me that you are worried about what you shouldnt be worried about.
To me, as has been already expressed by other eople, if i met someone and i liked them then it doesnt matter what the past holds.
The end of the day you should live for today and not yesterday. So ultimatly what i think you should be worrying about are things that directly affect you on a day to day basis. So if someone isnt happy with you for that reason then F**k them. And similarly you shouldnt look on the wrong side of things. LIke rainbow said if she didnt meet you or find you attractive and told you she wouldnt want you to thin it was because of who you are or what you have done. And you shouldnt think people dont like you because of your gender.
Ultimatly you should be proud of where you are now, i would be and what you must have endured i cant even imagine.
So my words to you would be people on the whole are generally happy with the truth, and if you tell them and they become weird then they are obviously the wrong person you should be worrying about.
I hope i made sense........
To me, as has been already expressed by other eople, if i met someone and i liked them then it doesnt matter what the past holds.
The end of the day you should live for today and not yesterday. So ultimatly what i think you should be worrying about are things that directly affect you on a day to day basis. So if someone isnt happy with you for that reason then F**k them. And similarly you shouldnt look on the wrong side of things. LIke rainbow said if she didnt meet you or find you attractive and told you she wouldnt want you to thin it was because of who you are or what you have done. And you shouldnt think people dont like you because of your gender.
Ultimatly you should be proud of where you are now, i would be and what you must have endured i cant even imagine.
So my words to you would be people on the whole are generally happy with the truth, and if you tell them and they become weird then they are obviously the wrong person you should be worrying about.
I hope i made sense........
Gurl hun 
Can I please ask you to read the good friends thread and what JudyTV wrote.... Now I know it's a slightly different situation but Judy will admit it herself.... You be hard pushed to find people as accepting as on SH anywhere else and that's because we are all non-judgemental.. We accept you for who you are....
I agree with Steveg on this... I think now is the time to stay.... You have overcome your biggest hurdle by telling us all your secret so now you can only look forward.....
I also agree with every word that Dave said.... Be happy with YOURSELF.... You will find friends in here so stick with it :kiss:
Be loud be proud gurl!!......
Shireen
xxx
Can I please ask you to read the good friends thread and what JudyTV wrote.... Now I know it's a slightly different situation but Judy will admit it herself.... You be hard pushed to find people as accepting as on SH anywhere else and that's because we are all non-judgemental.. We accept you for who you are....
I agree with Steveg on this... I think now is the time to stay.... You have overcome your biggest hurdle by telling us all your secret so now you can only look forward.....
I also agree with every word that Dave said.... Be happy with YOURSELF.... You will find friends in here so stick with it :kiss:
Be loud be proud gurl!!......
Shireen
xxx
I think that if you are open about being transexual then people will accept you more. Perhaps the negative reaction you have experienced is because the people you have met did not reaslise you were transexual. We have other transgenderd people on the site and they are accepted. Please do not dismiss us here on the forum because you have had some less than positive experiences elsewhere on this site. If anywhere, this is the place you need to be. So let us know more about yourself and get to know us. I'm sure you'll be making friends here in no time at all. Please stay and give us a chance.
Regards
LC
Regards
LC
Well I can't see any problem 
You were born a guy .... but that must seem like a lifetime ago to you?
Oh for gods sake :doh: ..... ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ spot the stupidest sentence ever typed in the whole wide world ever
OK start again :roll: What I meant was, that your life as a guy must be a very distant memory. Yeh, I'm grateful you've told us about the op - it must've been playing on your mind a fair bit. But it doesn't really change much on here. You're still you, if you stick around, you will still post as you .... that's who people have got to like.
Sounds to me like, rather than leaving the forums - you're about ready for a munch!! :bounce: That way you will see for yourself how brilliant the people are on here. You will not meet a more diverse bunch anywhere else. All with one thing in common, an open minded attitude to people, their lives and their lifestyles. You wouldn't be judged on an operation!
It doesn't mean if you stay around here, that you are duty bound to swing! Many people don't, and most of us are on here for the friendships over the sex.
Oh bluddy ell ........ stupid words ...... none of em are coming out properly
Hope you've roughly got the gist of what I'm trying to say Not good at big advice posts right in the middle of me PMTs :roll:
Whether you decide to leave or stay, I wish you all the very best hunny
You were born a guy .... but that must seem like a lifetime ago to you?
Oh for gods sake :doh: ..... ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ spot the stupidest sentence ever typed in the whole wide world ever
OK start again :roll: What I meant was, that your life as a guy must be a very distant memory. Yeh, I'm grateful you've told us about the op - it must've been playing on your mind a fair bit. But it doesn't really change much on here. You're still you, if you stick around, you will still post as you .... that's who people have got to like.
Sounds to me like, rather than leaving the forums - you're about ready for a munch!! :bounce: That way you will see for yourself how brilliant the people are on here. You will not meet a more diverse bunch anywhere else. All with one thing in common, an open minded attitude to people, their lives and their lifestyles. You wouldn't be judged on an operation!
It doesn't mean if you stay around here, that you are duty bound to swing! Many people don't, and most of us are on here for the friendships over the sex.
Oh bluddy ell ........ stupid words ...... none of em are coming out properly
Hope you've roughly got the gist of what I'm trying to say
Not good at big advice posts right in the middle of me PMTs :roll:Whether you decide to leave or stay, I wish you all the very best hunny
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Sounds to me like, rather than leaving the forums - you're about ready for a munch!! :bounce: That way you will see for yourself how brilliant the people are on here. You will not meet a more diverse bunch anywhere else. All with one thing in common, an open minded attitude to people, their lives and their lifestyles. You wouldn't be judged on an operation!
Ooohhhh yes definately time for a munch......
You have to have new knicks for a munch gurl.... It's trad... tradi.. It's summat that Judy says you got to do....
Come on give it a go.... Trust us you will made to feel so welcome...
Shireen
xxx
Gurl,
not sure who you been talking to but don't seem like many of us here in the forums....maybe a guy or two from the ADS.....and some of them come on here thinking they will get an easy shag. The fact is generally the regular people on here are open minded . they will accept people for what they are and just get on with it. I think myself i would rather know upfront that you were a pre op.....but then that wouldn't colour my view of you !! Just look at Nadia who won BIG BROTHER .....she held the secret away from everyone afraid of the reaction.....but in the end it was of no importance...people liked her for the way she was. Hang on in there...don't worry about others..be honest with yourself and others.
not sure who you been talking to but don't seem like many of us here in the forums....maybe a guy or two from the ADS.....and some of them come on here thinking they will get an easy shag. The fact is generally the regular people on here are open minded . they will accept people for what they are and just get on with it. I think myself i would rather know upfront that you were a pre op.....but then that wouldn't colour my view of you !! Just look at Nadia who won BIG BROTHER .....she held the secret away from everyone afraid of the reaction.....but in the end it was of no importance...people liked her for the way she was. Hang on in there...don't worry about others..be honest with yourself and others.
Sexlightened
i'm with steve-g on this one i admire your openness and honesty. all i can add to that is my own life motto "stand proud and be loud"
Sex God
gurl,
i have to admire that post, cos it was a brave one. it just saddens me that you're thinking of moving on because of your little secret. well it's out of the way now, no secret anymore, so hopefully that little stumbling block has been dealt with.
i genuinely believe that all the responses on this thread, are genuine, and sincere. there is a place for anyone here, and some of the best people i've met here are transgendered in some way. i'm proud to have them as friends. and i know they've found something here that has opened up areas in their lives, just as their presence here has opened up other things for the rest of us.
stick around.
neil x x x ;)
i have to admire that post, cos it was a brave one. it just saddens me that you're thinking of moving on because of your little secret. well it's out of the way now, no secret anymore, so hopefully that little stumbling block has been dealt with.
i genuinely believe that all the responses on this thread, are genuine, and sincere. there is a place for anyone here, and some of the best people i've met here are transgendered in some way. i'm proud to have them as friends. and i know they've found something here that has opened up areas in their lives, just as their presence here has opened up other things for the rest of us.
stick around.
neil x x x ;)
Gurl,
That is a very good & interesting post, & for that reason alone I would be sorry to see you go. Not sure why you feel the need to move on, but, as others have said, I would have thought that this was just the place where you would feel at home. The people here are very open-minded, & that is why there are other people here whose positions are not a million miles from yours, in that they are transexuals/cross dressers of one sort or another.
I am pretty much straight - by that I mean I have been bi with a couple. So my initial reaction is that I would not be interested in "taking things further" with someone in you situation, but thinking a bit more...... if I met you that might be different. But that is irrelevant as far as chatting to you in the forum, being friends, .& maybe meeting at a Munch & having a drink together.
That is a very good & interesting post, & for that reason alone I would be sorry to see you go. Not sure why you feel the need to move on, but, as others have said, I would have thought that this was just the place where you would feel at home. The people here are very open-minded, & that is why there are other people here whose positions are not a million miles from yours, in that they are transexuals/cross dressers of one sort or another.
I am pretty much straight - by that I mean I have been bi with a couple. So my initial reaction is that I would not be interested in "taking things further" with someone in you situation, but thinking a bit more...... if I met you that might be different. But that is irrelevant as far as chatting to you in the forum, being friends, .& maybe meeting at a Munch & having a drink together.
Gurl I have to say to you that HERE is where you should STAY.
This is a great platform for developing your ideas and opinions,and for informing others about the issues that affect you - and surely from the reaction here you can see its a supportive,understanding enviroment where you will be highly valued as a person first and foremost - and there's a lot of laughs to be had too!
So - get a spoon,a bowl,put 2 Shredded Wheat in NOW young lady - you can pour cold or hot milk or vodka on it - your choice!x
This is a great platform for developing your ideas and opinions,and for informing others about the issues that affect you - and surely from the reaction here you can see its a supportive,understanding enviroment where you will be highly valued as a person first and foremost - and there's a lot of laughs to be had too!
So - get a spoon,a bowl,put 2 Shredded Wheat in NOW young lady - you can pour cold or hot milk or vodka on it - your choice!x
Sex God
Quote by gurl
So what is this terrible affliction that I have been cursed with?
Gurl~
Please don't go. The affliction that you have been cursed with is the foresight to know exactly what you want from life, to know exactly who you are, and to follow through with it completely. You're obviously an amazing person, and it would be our collective loss if we missed out on the opportunity to get to know you better. Make no mistake, you are among friends and peers here...and, for many, you'd be a dream come true.
~Reese! :love:
Sex God
Gurl,
I think, along with many others who have posted before me, that you are very brave for letting everyone know.
I love seeing your posts on threads, they are often witty and interesting. I always get the song by No Doubt in my head everytime I see your signature........... oh i'm just a girl, oh little old me, don't let me drive late at night.......... ok, If I promise to stop singing badly, will you stay?
Everyone on this forum is valued in one way or another for who they are. Even if no-one agrees with them on a certain veiw point, it quite often helps to open ones eyes to see a different point of view. Things here have been debated that I normaly wouldn't have questioned so a diverse range of responses is what makes the forum work well. How boring is it if we all put exactlythe same thing all the time we would soon become tired.
I hope you decide to stay.
Take care.
G. x
I think, along with many others who have posted before me, that you are very brave for letting everyone know.
I love seeing your posts on threads, they are often witty and interesting. I always get the song by No Doubt in my head everytime I see your signature........... oh i'm just a girl, oh little old me, don't let me drive late at night.......... ok, If I promise to stop singing badly, will you stay?
Everyone on this forum is valued in one way or another for who they are. Even if no-one agrees with them on a certain veiw point, it quite often helps to open ones eyes to see a different point of view. Things here have been debated that I normaly wouldn't have questioned so a diverse range of responses is what makes the forum work well. How boring is it if we all put exactlythe same thing all the time we would soon become tired.
I hope you decide to stay.
Take care.
G. x
Those that move on after you have told them your "secret" are usually the ones with the most narrow minds..
I am a str8 guy and a year ago I would have said with no doubt that meeting a tv(a transexual not a television)
would hold no interest to me what so ever.....
I met Judy at a munch and well..................Just ask anyone here what they think of Judy..
Aside from her different sexual orientation...Different to mine that is...She is a normal everyday kinda person...
I view her as a friend and hope she views me in the same way..
While I have no desire to make a sexual partner of Judy I do have a desire to have her as a friend....
Basically what I am trying to say is...............Stay here and revel in the mass of new friends you WILL make.....
Get yourself to a munch and mingle and I will buy you a drink.
The regulars here are super and as already pointed out previously in this thread you will get the passers by that mock and are abusive....Rise above them and be safe in the Knowledge that you are amongst friends..
:)
I am a str8 guy and a year ago I would have said with no doubt that meeting a tv(a transexual not a television)
would hold no interest to me what so ever.....I met Judy at a munch and well..................Just ask anyone here what they think of Judy..
Aside from her different sexual orientation...Different to mine that is...She is a normal everyday kinda person...
I view her as a friend and hope she views me in the same way..
While I have no desire to make a sexual partner of Judy I do have a desire to have her as a friend....
Basically what I am trying to say is...............Stay here and revel in the mass of new friends you WILL make.....
Get yourself to a munch and mingle and I will buy you a drink.
The regulars here are super and as already pointed out previously in this thread you will get the passers by that mock and are abusive....Rise above them and be safe in the Knowledge that you are amongst friends..
:) gurl, i know Im new to this game and many moreexperienced people have already offered advice, but i have to say this as it upsets me to see that people can still be so shallow and fickle
with regards to your problem:
Tell them this -
SO WHAT
why should something like that stop you from being loved and loving back in return! You are a person, it doesnt matter whether you be pre op, post op, CD, TV, bi straight etc. Please dont feel that you have to conform to any standards other than your own, who is anyone in society to say what others should do! We are born on to this earth as a free being, its only when we reach the age of consent that we feel the need to become sheep and join flocks, or are forced to join the flock lest we shall be regarded as different!!
You stay as you are, tell those that cant/dont want to accept you to go stick their head back up their arses and get back in line with the rest of the robots!!
Im sorry for the rant, but i cant stand it when people are singled out for their choices in life! if people werent afraid of change so much then situations like this would never have existed.
I do hope that this confession of yours doesnt drive you away from these boards, as so many have already posted offering their support and kind words.
stay around a while, let more people get to know you and have fun with us lot, its a start and sometimes thats all you need to get the ball rolling!!
with regards to your problem:
Tell them this -
SO WHAT
why should something like that stop you from being loved and loving back in return! You are a person, it doesnt matter whether you be pre op, post op, CD, TV, bi straight etc. Please dont feel that you have to conform to any standards other than your own, who is anyone in society to say what others should do! We are born on to this earth as a free being, its only when we reach the age of consent that we feel the need to become sheep and join flocks, or are forced to join the flock lest we shall be regarded as different!!
You stay as you are, tell those that cant/dont want to accept you to go stick their head back up their arses and get back in line with the rest of the robots!!
Im sorry for the rant, but i cant stand it when people are singled out for their choices in life! if people werent afraid of change so much then situations like this would never have existed.
I do hope that this confession of yours doesnt drive you away from these boards, as so many have already posted offering their support and kind words.
stay around a while, let more people get to know you and have fun with us lot, its a start and sometimes thats all you need to get the ball rolling!!
Orgasminator
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Whats a Gurl to do?
Stay
You are a part of the rich tapestry that is................... Swinging Heaven !!:wink:
Im with sarge i think he's rounded it up nicely.
However if you do feel you have to leave one thing is for sure, you will be greated with open arms and
and 
when you come back and no one will think any less of you for takin some time out.A problem shared is a problem solved, i think you've solved it now, don't you?
Best wishes in whatever you decide.
Matt xxx
Sex God
Quote by Eagerslut9
Well, I can't see why any truly open-minded person would have a problem with that.
I'm not sure what your reasons are for wanting to move on, particularly as you've posed a question to which I'm sure you will be hanging around here long enough to read the replies.
Why deny yourself the opportunity to mix it (either in a cyber sense or for real) with the folk in this forum? Who knows, but we might be the most broad-minded people you'll ever come across?
Good luck to you and be happy!!
Well said. :cheers:
Quote by steveg_nw
But now I feel it is probably time for me to move on.
I feel it's actually quite the opposite. Now is the time to stay and see what happens.
I admire your openness and honesty and I'm positive that others on here will too. I think you should stick around, you might be pleasantly surprised.
I've no doubt that the infrequent closed minded passer-by will have something nasty to say but the vast majority of people on here certainly aren't like that. If you do get messages from this kind of person then please report it to one of the moderators. It won't be tolerated.
Steve
I agree with Steve, Sarge and the others. Doubt you'll find a more open, friendly and welcoming place in all of cyber-space.
Quote by MISSCHIEF
It doesn't mean if you stay around here, that you are duty bound to swing! Many people don't, and most of us are on here for the friendships over the sex.
Oh bluddy ell ........ stupid words ...... none of em are coming out properly
Not at all Missy. I know exactly what you mean and it's lovely.
Take Countess and myself as a point in fact. Neither of us swing. We have talked about it at some length though, due to this site and we've decided that at the moment it's just not for us. I say at the moment, because who knows what tomorrow will bring. So why do we stick around?
The people.
The regulars on this site are fantastic! As I said above I doubt you will find any group who are more open-minded, intelligent and reasonable, anywhere else on the net (if not in real life). That's what makes this site so adictive.
I know we have fallings out sometimes, but I genuinely believe that if any of us had a real problem or concern, that old differences would be put aside and we'd all rally together to help. Just look at the support Calista and Morbius have received from people they hardly know as well as good friends.
There's a thread you might want to read (if you haven't already) posted by Satin. I think my comments in that thread about society, are pretty relevant here as well.
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/22886.html
easy (who hopes you stick around. Or at least pop back from time to time).
Being kind, perhaps the people you tell are worried it's a slipperly slope. Yesterday you were a woman, today you're a post-operative transexual, tomorrow you'll be a pre-operative transexual and next week you'll be a 300lb stubbly guy who dresses in his wife's knickers. If they finally arrange a meet, they'll find you have a three-foot beard and potato crisps going mouldy in your chest-hair.
To be less kind, perhaps they're just very close-minded.
From my personal point of view; I'm straight, I like women. If you're a woman now, I don't see why it should be an issue to anyone other than you as to how you got there.
To be less kind, perhaps they're just very close-minded.
From my personal point of view; I'm straight, I like women. If you're a woman now, I don't see why it should be an issue to anyone other than you as to how you got there.
Iv found that as a member of this forum your sexuality/creed/colour/location/football alegance/what you are now or were is irrelevant, some people will always judge you, but in reality are they worth your time? Spend time with the people who accept you for WHO you are, not WHAT you are!
And Im hoping that your farewell is a TTFN, not perminent!!!!
And Im hoping that your farewell is a TTFN, not perminent!!!!
