I appreciate your displeasure D , but truth is just like any other party where everyone isnt already intimate friends , there will be a percentage of those who are unsure how to behave , a percentage of those who just misread the party atmosphere and a percentage of assholes who know all that but just dont really give a shit .
I guess thats part of the fun of parties of any kind , and what social interaction is about . If you arrange parties and use virtually open invitations , its odds on some will end up being folk you dont get on with , but thats made up for by the odd few you think are really interesting lovely folks - and like everything in life theres the payoff ! It doesnt cost much to just tell the eeejits to stop doing what theyre doing , and then cross them off the future parties list.
We live and learn - or we dont live right ?? :-)
Peace G
Last social I went to I was determined to behave. I had a couple of drinks, and I um......didn't.
I feel for Steve, I really do, because at the end of the day, as an event organiser, he is the one who will be approached if the necking and nudity get out of hand.
This is why I chose to organise paintball. No risque clothing, no alcohol.
Venusxxx
Note to one's self.....remember to ask nicely to Dawn Mids for a Shag!....but don't talk shop!!
Dawn yes, you' re entitled to enjoy a munch in the same way as everyone else who attends. I for one, wouldn't go asking questions about mods/ops business at a munch. If anyone needs to do that, the forum/pm system is surely the best way to do it. Most people are too busy perving and chatting to people they've been waiting to meet anyway, aren't they?
G, I see your point about people just telling the idiots and crossing them off future munch lists. I think that what we've all seen (from the Leicester munch particularly, and I'm not criticising anyone when I say this) is that often, people don't like to say anything at the time. They don't necessarily have to be newbies either, to be unwilling to 'tell'.
Using the cut off date criterion seems to be a really good way of ensuring that the majority of attendees will already have a feel for what is/isn't acceptable behaviour at a munch, by reading past threads and the terminology section. Unfortunately there are some who will disregard what they have read, or who won't even bother to read any of it anyway. They are the ones who will not be invited to future munches, because they won't know how to conduct themselves.
Maybe a paragraph or two could be added in the 'munch' section of terminology, so that when people are refused an invite, they could be directed to this, by way of explaining why they were refused, ie. for inapproriate behaviour. Of course, they should have read that first, but it's their own fault if they haven't read it, so they can't complain.
Might I suggest that your guestlists are organised and strictly adhered to? That adequate security is provided by people capable of providing it? That someone with some knowledge of those invited and those who are banned is on hand to assist security if there are any queries at the door? And lastly that there is a strict time limit on entries, with trusted folk who do turn up late letting security or the host know in advance and arranging a later time?
All these questions are relevent no matter what sort of private function is being organised. firstly because if people turn up who are not on the guestlist, then security should know they have the authority to turn them away. Security should also be capable of using whatever methods are needed to persuade those not welcome to leave. Then there will always be those who say there has been a mistake, and that they were invited, usualy they will say they have traveled a long way to attend. It would then be important that someone who knew the score identified them so that they could be dealt with immediately. As for the time limit? Well those who take care of security might have given up there Saturday afternoon or whatever to help out free of charge, it would be only fair that there was a time when the doors were locked shut, so that they might do a little socialising themselves. Security would not be needed from latecomers who arive by appointment.
I have organised one or two social gatherings, mostly gigs, in the past. And these were always a good set of guidelines for private events. I hope they are helpfull.
Pete xxx
Its a case of people using common sense when attending a munch,remember the bar staff at these places may take offence to what may go on!if you wouldn't behave like like that down your local then don't do it at a munch.....if there are "after "parties save it for then!
Have to add my 10p worth !
I have been to 6 events including Munches and have never had a problem with any member of SH.........
As a Newbie I was terrified to go to my first Munch and even more scared to go to my first Party............. but half a bottle of brandy always does the trick .............lol
I thought the point of a Munch was for the Newbies to be able to ask the "OLD HANDS" questions about the site and the Swinging Scene..................... I have to say I didnt target Mods/Ops because I didnt know who they were......... but had they worn a badge saying they were a Mod/Op I would have asked them my questions !!!
Inappropriate behaviour is inappropriate wherever it happens............. I am sure it happens in Vanilla nightclubs too.................
So, that is my 10p worth................ I like the people I have met on this site at the munches and the parties............... it would be a shame if people who can't behave were allowed to spoil everyone elses fun...........so let's not let them !!!!!
As a munch organiser i take security very the last munch we had someone on the door and only people who were on the list got the same for the next for people joining in when theyre not invited,this hasnt happened either because its really only meant as a meeting excercise,if people wanna have fun then they tend to do this in the hotel.
I know that parties are different but swingers should be well aware that no means no.
As for asking mods questions,i have done this but only because there was something i was interested in (not because someone had been banned).Asking questions is one of the definitions of a munch as Blondeslave pointed out.
As a newboe who has been to two social and one party I will have my 1 shillings worth (yes i do know what that is)
Anway, on my first social i was extreamly worried that people could be playing and what would i do. However i was advised by an extreamly nice MOD(thanks missy) that it would just be a social and chance to meet people. I admit I was still nervous as hell but after the intial meet and greet the day went fine.
Personaly i dont mind people grabbing my balls or asking for a snog but i would rather i knew them first . I have a mental list of people i would snog but not when i just met them and these are people i have met in past and chatted to on telephone.
Personally i dont mind pics taken but i would prefer if my pics weer not shown on SH. i dont mind people having my pics privately.
I think as most of the people have posted on this thread are quite experiance SH members i think a newbies point of view stimulates conversation.
MikeC
Well I always used to hanker after getting Mrs TE along to a munch to meet people and see that it is a friendly atmosphere and you 'don't have to do anything if you don't want to'. After hearing about some of the goings on at some meets I've given up on the idea. It'd completely freak her out - tender little thing that she is.
I must admit I always thought a munch was supposed to look to the casual observer like a group of people sitting in a pub - maybe a lively one but no more than that. That doesn't seem to be the case anymore.
Isn't the time to loosen up and maybe lose control a bit later at a post-munch party, when the ground rules are different?
<<< edit >>> Can I just say thanks to Dawn for raising this 'cos it's been gnawing at me for a while and as I'm a munch virgin so to speak I didn't feel I could raise it.
<<<< shit - sorry 2nd edit >>>>> I've just read Missy's thoughts on cameras as well. I couldn't agree more.
The idea of munches was that it was to be an open enviorement, and it was to be held for newbies as well as regulars and it was to be totally social. whether you were gay single or whatever the only stipulation was that you were an active SH member.
This should be adhered to at all times...
If people cant control themselves in public they should take it to a hotel room or a swinging club.
If you feel you would like to have sex etc' in a private atmosphere with strangers then take it to a SH party that is invite only.
In a SH party the host/hostess makes the guidelines and invite list. what happens there is totally private. No one is representing SH.
In an SH munch it SHOULD be as it was.... open to ALL SH members 100% social while in the confines of the munch. There should be designated munch helpers there to monitor the atmosphere and look after people and also enforce the SH munch guidelines... It's a shame that there is a need for this. Also please remember that an SH munch is exactly that ...... we are there as SH members and we are expected to behave and act within the bounderies of decency.
we need to seperate this leaning towards mixing parties up with munches.
just my opinion.
.xX Jo Xx.
Clare, this is fine for people who are confident within themselves as you obviously are, but there are those who want to fit in and when confronted with a situation for the first time will go with the flow rather than rock the boat, because they are unsure what is the norm at these events. Even if they have been to one before, each Munch is different so there's no hard and fast rules. What isn't acceptable in one Munch may have been in another.
One of the senarios I pointed out above clarifys that. The male pushed into a conversation, but because the other male wasn't particulaly comfortable with confrontations, he let the matter slide.
Please don't get me wrong. we've been to two munches and had a fantastic time, so we've put ourselves down for more. It's just that some peoples antisocial, self-serving behavour can take some of the shine off the night.
We're not saying that these events are awful, they're bloody good. we're just saying if "such" would (or wouldn't) happen then they'd be perfect.
As someone who hasn't been to a Munch yet, I'm really confused.
I was led to believe that munches were purely social gatherings, with no playing. Just sitting talking with a group of friends.
If established members, who have previously played together, don't want unwanted attention, surely they should stick to this rule like they expect the newbies to?
If some of you guys sit around snogging, groping, etc, you cannot critisise the newbies who attend for thinking it is allowed. That is just hypocrisy.
The newbies aren't going to know who every person is, so they won't necessarily know that two people have known each other quite a while and have played before. People aren't mind readers.
Ive read through whats been put by everyone and would like to say that a munch should always be first and foremost a gathering of likeminded people for chat,drinks and a snogs,gropes etc should only be given out when you know the other person is ok with this.
I'd have to say though that one or two of the comments about being shocked by being jumped on have been a little curious as i was jumped on by one of these people.
I enjoy a good snog at a munch but generally i have known the person for a while or have chatted to them do the snog auctions at our munch to raise money and settle peoples nerves and this goes down well.
At the end of the day though our munches are about the enjoyment of meeting old friends and new ones and weve had nothing but positive feedback since.
BTW we will be bringing the munch brunch back again this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Especially when we are all encouraged to think of ourselves as friends on SH :? 
@ Dawn
. Arrangements and security were excellent, but having people faces suddenly lunging to my busom, climbing over/listening to sex happening in the toilets, being fondled and snogged by people I had hardly spoken too online let alone in real life has indeed put me off full-blown munches. I spent most of the Notts Munch being shielded by a speaker, PiercedJon and TallnHairy 
ops: :oops: Luckily she took it in the nature it was intended, as a bit of a giggle and too much adrenaline from meeting so many new people (not good with crowds either :shock: ) and didn't wallop me one, for which she would have been fully entitled. 
))) or an excuse to fondle all and sundry, and yep i think seeing the munch as some kinda foreplay for the afters party is offputting, and maybe does send out the wrong message if they're promoted as a kinda single event.. there's a time and a place. . just cos they're swingers meets doesn't mean respect for other peoples personal space goes outta the window. if anything, that kinda respect should be taken as read, cos swingers have to think about their boundaries, and those of other people, all the time! from what i've seen, i think the vast majority are well aware of that.