1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in
six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print editions of
Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.
3... Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers
grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus with tummy-support panels are included.
5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely
taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the
pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines
with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive
age-blasting cosmetics.
7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really
paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for
babs and a Ken, Jr.. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change,
and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along
with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the
NapaValley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."
9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $ Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the
ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps.
clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.. Comes with a little
copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes,
forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken
sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels.
comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.
_____________________________________
coz yer worth it
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new style barbie dolls
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Sex God
OK, a story from my childhood.
I hated dolls. In an attempt to "girlify" me my mother bought me a Barbie and a Sindy. To my mother's delight, I played with Barbie and Sindy regularly. However, what she didn't know was that my Barbie and Sindy were hot lesbian lovers who got their rocks off not only with each other but with my friend's action men also. Barbie and Sindy used to seduce the action men in the bushes by doing a sexy lesbian strip-tease, but then turned nasty and tied the guys to trees in order to humiliate them :shock: .
I was nine.
This is a copletely true story. Did I have a warped childhood or what :shock:
I hated dolls. In an attempt to "girlify" me my mother bought me a Barbie and a Sindy. To my mother's delight, I played with Barbie and Sindy regularly. However, what she didn't know was that my Barbie and Sindy were hot lesbian lovers who got their rocks off not only with each other but with my friend's action men also. Barbie and Sindy used to seduce the action men in the bushes by doing a sexy lesbian strip-tease, but then turned nasty and tied the guys to trees in order to humiliate them :shock: .
I was nine.
This is a copletely true story. Did I have a warped childhood or what :shock:
Mod
Yep
And I believe nothing's changed - thank goodness :twisted:
Mal
And I believe nothing's changed - thank goodness :twisted:
Mal
Sex God
The last I heard, the action men were still in therapy :shock:
Quote by Carpathian
I always wondered who'd get the biggest shock if Ken and Barbie ever got it together ?
The looks on their little plastic faces would be priceless as their final garments were removed at the height of passion to reveal....nothing !
:shock:
Carpathian
Hey,Carpathian. Don't go there: it took years of therapy-and the exercises SteveG_NW is demonstrating on his avatar- to get me over that experience.
There are a lot of extremely rude things I could say about the above post, phrases which would have done their best to pervert the meaning of the message and bring ridicule upon it. However, with some difficulty I will refrain and merely ask, does such evangelicalism have its place here? I notice it has been added to another thread here too.
And before the heavens of opprobrium descend regarding freedom of speech, choice and opinion, it could be said to be a reasonable question as I believe the above post, having been repeated elsewhere in the cafe, has been placed there with the intent to convert.
Sappho xxx
Just a note in case anyone's confused - this post was in response to Peterdw's 'Somebody loves you' which has been split into a new thread.
And before the heavens of opprobrium descend regarding freedom of speech, choice and opinion, it could be said to be a reasonable question as I believe the above post, having been repeated elsewhere in the cafe, has been placed there with the intent to convert.
Sappho xxx
Just a note in case anyone's confused - this post was in response to Peterdw's 'Somebody loves you' which has been split into a new thread.
Mod
Sappho
I just found it far too longwinded to even contemplate reading it, so I don't even know what it is about!!
Mal
I just found it far too longwinded to even contemplate reading it, so I don't even know what it is about!!
Mal
Perhaps there is not a god after all!
If there was he would not let me see such drivel this early in the day!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I could not even be bothered to read it past the first verse......
Has anyone read it all - and if so can they paraphrase it for me in 3 words .... 8)
Tell it to someone who gives a shit!
If there was he would not let me see such drivel this early in the day!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: I could not even be bothered to read it past the first verse......
Has anyone read it all - and if so can they paraphrase it for me in 3 words .... 8)
Tell it to someone who gives a shit!
Sex God
Bloody hell, I do believe I just found Jesus - he was good too.... :twisted:
No, ooops, maybe shouldn't have said that, but well, as an eternal piss taker, why should I stop now.
No, ooops, maybe shouldn't have said that, but well, as an eternal piss taker, why should I stop now.
Sex God
ooooooh, this is to tempting!!! Only I will probably be wasting my breath (or rather, my typing!)!
If peterdw wants a genuine debate I am more than happy to wade in on behalf of SH - if the rest of you think that it's worth it.
Or should we just let it go? It just goes against the grain to allow blind ideology to pass unchallenged, that's all.
If peterdw wants a genuine debate I am more than happy to wade in on behalf of SH - if the rest of you think that it's worth it.
Or should we just let it go? It just goes against the grain to allow blind ideology to pass unchallenged, that's all.
Sex God
Oh yeah, I love a good debate too - here we go, here we go, here we gooooooo-ooooooooooo.....
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
