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no contact no sex.
Sex God
Quote by makaveli69
Dummy for searcher more like:lol:
:kissmyarse: :grin: 
Sex God
Quote by Jags
i dont think im alone in this situation , and wondered how many other people turn to swinging to find human contact.?
NOPE - this was the question which no-one has even tried to answer yet!!
Jags beat me to it :lol2:
Now where does this ask for advice? He's asking how many other people try swinging for some human contact.
I would say a vast number and from the amount of married people I have seen join over the last three years or so (and yes they have almost all been chastised by the lynch mobs
) then even someone who loves their wife/husband will eventually feel the most basic of human needs - a warm and kind embrace and some sexual contact.I know people will say it is cheating - but isn't the partner who denies any form of loving or sexual contact also denying their partner of the most basic instinct?
Why should the wife/husband who doesn't want or need sex anymore have the controlling factor in a relationship?
Monogamy is a Religion based ideal, thrust upon us by centuries of doctrine, not a natural human or animal one.
We who are supposed to be open minded on this site, often show our true colours when condeming others so quickly, whilst knowning little or nothing of their situations.
TJ
Quote by sercher01
so! do i take it you dont think my question to said gent was relivent to said gents post
and that you could give a honest opinion to said gent without this information?
:
are you asking me personally Sercher?
as I read it, there was only one question posed in Loveblock's post, and that was this:
Quote by loveblock
i dont think im alone in this situation , and wondered how many other people turn to swinging to find human contact.?
On that basis , no, i dont think your question was relevant and yes, I could give an honest answer to the question because it would be based on what was actually asked, not on subsequently implied information.
Although it could be seen that Loveblock is trying to justify his actions (which never goes down well here) and anyone posting agreeing on the subject of 'neeeding human contact' may be interpreted as further backing up that 'justification', my point was not about any of that, but (for the 3rd time) specifically about you hinting on the forum info that had been given to you in pm.
Sex God
ill admit when im wrong 
i missed the point of the post
sorry
DF good point and taken deep thanx for pointing out my mistake as you say i should have known better
again sorry
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
i missed the point of the post
sorry
DF good point and taken deep thanx for pointing out my mistake as you say i should have known better
again sorry
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: Quote by loveblock
... swinging may solve my problem i dont feel anymore that i would be cheating...
oh np Sercher, I didnt miss this bit either
In response to that one, I think yes, Sercher's question was relevant in so much as while Loveblock might not feel anymore that it's cheating, many others here will see it as exactly that!
bloody hell, talk about going round in circles!
A few things from me loveblock ;)
I am sure it is and while you have my sympathy (but not myunderstanding, as I could never be in a relationship that made me feel lonely) I have to ask, why do you continue with the marriage?
It may solve your problem, but if your wife didn't know you were having sex with other women, then that would be cheating inmy eyes-I am not judging you here, just offering my opinion.
This makes me think that you want more than just sex. Maybe you think a swinging relationship would give you companionship as well ? More then likely yes it would.
You're far from alone loveblock, there are many married males and females in your position, and from what I have read in your post, you're looking more for a loving relationship than just a sexual one. I might be wide of the mark (wouldn't be the first time!) if so-shoot me ;) If I am not it might be time to look a little deeper.
Minx x x
Quote by loveblockhaving been married for a good many years my wife is no longer interested in sex, and has not been for a number of years, we have in the past tried to resolve this problem in various ways, but she finds sex of little interest. she says it does not affect for feelings for me. in truth she has always has had a low sex drive and over time ihave accepted this. how ever it very lonely day to day existence not having sexual contact with your partner.
I am sure it is and while you have my sympathy (but not myunderstanding, as I could never be in a relationship that made me feel lonely) I have to ask, why do you continue with the marriage?
Quote by loveblock
swinging may solve my problem i dont feel anymore that i would be cheating,
It may solve your problem, but if your wife didn't know you were having sex with other women, then that would be cheating inmy eyes-I am not judging you here, just offering my opinion.
Quote by loveblock
i only know that if a women of any age offererd sex i could not refuse it. a prostitue is not the cure for me i dont think i could respond to one.
This makes me think that you want more than just sex. Maybe you think a swinging relationship would give you companionship as well ? More then likely yes it would.
Quote by loveblock
i dont think im alone in this situation , and wondered how many other people turn to swinging to find human contact.?
You're far from alone loveblock, there are many married males and females in your position, and from what I have read in your post, you're looking more for a loving relationship than just a sexual one. I might be wide of the mark (wouldn't be the first time!) if so-shoot me ;) If I am not it might be time to look a little deeper.
Minx x x
Quote by sercher01
ill admit when im wrong
i missed the point of the post
sorry
DF good point and taken deep thanx for pointing out my mistake as you say i should have known better
again sorry
is that whats called "a tail between the legs post"
Sex God
Quote by markz
ill admit when im wrong
i missed the point of the post
sorry
DF good point and taken deep thanx for pointing out my mistake as you say i should have known better
again sorry
is that whats called "a tail between the legs post"
errrr! no! its called a " tactical withdrall" :kissmyarse:
:silly: Cheating... I used to have a very negative view of this. I think now it's only those that cheat as a sport or do so when there's nothing wrong with their relationship that I feel negative about. In all other cases I'm more likely to reserve judgement as it can be a difficult situation and not everybody makes ideal choices in difficult situations.
It's not always as simple as "why don't you just be honest or leave the marriage".
Off the top of my head, here are some reasons that may complicate the situation:
* Violent/Abusive Partner
* Drugs/Drink dependent partner
* Partner/self with some classes of mental illness
* Low self esteem
* Partner dependent on you (some disabilities)
* Partner has sexual problems (mental or physical) - that doesn't respond to "treatment"
* Having nobody to discuss the issue with
* Being financially dependent on their partner
* Their issues are being ignored by their partner
* Having children
The above may not seem like big issues to some - but remember not everybody is the same, and some aren't strong and able to cope well in these situations.
I think what's I'm trying to say is some people when they find themselves between a rock and a hard place choose whatever option that allows them to survive.
36 x
It's not always as simple as "why don't you just be honest or leave the marriage".
Off the top of my head, here are some reasons that may complicate the situation:
* Violent/Abusive Partner
* Drugs/Drink dependent partner
* Partner/self with some classes of mental illness
* Low self esteem
* Partner dependent on you (some disabilities)
* Partner has sexual problems (mental or physical) - that doesn't respond to "treatment"
* Having nobody to discuss the issue with
* Being financially dependent on their partner
* Their issues are being ignored by their partner
* Having children
The above may not seem like big issues to some - but remember not everybody is the same, and some aren't strong and able to cope well in these situations.
I think what's I'm trying to say is some people when they find themselves between a rock and a hard place choose whatever option that allows them to survive.
36 x
there are many of us in a similar situation, not just the men but iam sure quite a few womer too. Having endured this for 12 years we are now going our seperate ways. Yes we all need a source for releasing the stress and maybe for some sex isnt exactly the remedy while for others (like me) it is. Not that iam a sex maniac but hopefully my swinging should help. Good luck folks
Quote by ugetswotuc
Do all threads seem to end in punch ups when people ask a question ? Discuss.
No not all threads end up like that but unfortunately there are some people on here who seem to like to get their wooden spoon out and get people going just to wind them up.
Know what I`m saying ugetswotuc????
Sex God
Quote by loveblock
I would suspect that there are a fair few who turn to swinging to find human contact.........
Although we don't do clubs, I would have thought it likely that some "single" guys that visit swing clubs could fall into this category........
It's certainly been seen on sites like this, the only problem for the guys, is that they can end up being flamed if they post in forums like this one.... but then again if they just arrange meets without trying to get into the social side of sites like this, given time they could probably be quite sucessful.
I can relate to what you are asking cos over 25 years ago I was where you are... only instead of swinging I just shagged the secretaries in the company I worked for, and the female customers I met in my job.
Today, I'm now happily married again.... and I'm also in a relationship where we have discovered swinging together, and have no need to play without permission. Both H and I have been married before and know some of the things that can cause a marriage to fail, and actively avoid them........ yes we do communictate.
Now would we entertain someone in your position? ......... possibly yes. We don't judge, and assume that people doing these activities are adults. If a married man comes to us and admits his wife has no knowledge of his activities, but is prepared to deal with the consquences if she was ever to find out, then thats ok. It's the guys choice and potentially the guys problem. But and it's a big BUT ..... anyone contemplating it must be sure and fully aware of what they are doing.
M
Sex God
Human contact - one of the least recognised but most important features in anyone's life. Look at premature babies - it has been proved they are more likely to thrive (for that understand less likely to DIE) if they are placed skin to skin with another human - usually the mother.
A friend of mine had his marriage break up - he realised that he had not had any human physical contact in over 3 years. Can you imagine it - being in a house with the person who is supposed to share a loveing relationship with you and they don't so much as pat your arm over breakfast.
Now imagine what it felt like when his friend, on hearing about the marriage breakup, hugged him (it happend to be me but it could have been any number of people). That is what lacking human contact is like.
If this poor guy is feeling like that then good on him. The 'cheating thing' is a problem, yes, but it is his problem, so long as he is honest with his swing partners. We don't like to feel like cheaters by proxy.
A friend of mine had his marriage break up - he realised that he had not had any human physical contact in over 3 years. Can you imagine it - being in a house with the person who is supposed to share a loveing relationship with you and they don't so much as pat your arm over breakfast.
Now imagine what it felt like when his friend, on hearing about the marriage breakup, hugged him (it happend to be me but it could have been any number of people). That is what lacking human contact is like.
If this poor guy is feeling like that then good on him. The 'cheating thing' is a problem, yes, but it is his problem, so long as he is honest with his swing partners. We don't like to feel like cheaters by proxy.
Quote by RedHot
bet you cant guess
Would we want to guess? Does it really affect you personally that you have to be so judgmental? :?
Give the guy a break. As long as it doesn't affect you, I can't see that it's any of your business quite honestly
TJ
Have to agree TJ. I have my views on extra marital affairs but people putting up threads have the right to ask questions we might not like. I hate people getting hurt and hate cheaters but I also understand that I could not last without sexual contact over a very long time. I hope I am never in that situation.
Sexlightened
36, im with you on this one.
Having spent many nights alone because of my husbands unsocialbe work hours I found myself longing for some male company/attention. Id often feel guilty if i found myself thinking seriously hot steamy thoughts about guys id meet, while out.
I could have been unfaithful behind his back, left him because I felt he wasnt fulfilling his commitments to me as a partner or be honest about how i felt and both try to resolve the issue.
Fortunately for me, my husband had always had an interest in swinging and we were able to venture into this together.
Now im able to chat to a guy when out, even take things further if i choose because my husband and I are always completely honest with each other. We even seem to find that little extra bit of time for each other now :P
Im not saying that this is the way forward for everyone, but im a believer in honesty and it obviously worked for me.
Guess im the lucky one, now I get plenty of human contact!!!
Having spent many nights alone because of my husbands unsocialbe work hours I found myself longing for some male company/attention. Id often feel guilty if i found myself thinking seriously hot steamy thoughts about guys id meet, while out.
Quote by 36openminded
I think what's I'm trying to say is some people when they find themselves between a rock and a hard place choose whatever option that allows them to survive.
36 x
I could have been unfaithful behind his back, left him because I felt he wasnt fulfilling his commitments to me as a partner or be honest about how i felt and both try to resolve the issue.
Fortunately for me, my husband had always had an interest in swinging and we were able to venture into this together.
Now im able to chat to a guy when out, even take things further if i choose because my husband and I are always completely honest with each other. We even seem to find that little extra bit of time for each other now :P
Im not saying that this is the way forward for everyone, but im a believer in honesty and it obviously worked for me.
Guess im the lucky one, now I get plenty of human contact!!!
Quote by sercher01
ill admit when im wrong
i missed the point of the post
sorry
DF good point and taken deep thanx for pointing out my mistake as you say i should have known better
again sorry
is that whats called "a tail between the legs post"
errrr! no! its called a " tactical withdrall" :kissmyarse:
:silly:I didn't ask for your methods of contraception :roll:
