i have been a member here since sept of last year, and have sent absolutely no replies to adverts, and i havent asked to meet up with anyone
so why arent i inundated with offers?
surely this is a pick up joint?
what am i doing wrong?
obviously this is tongue in cheek, dont abuse me too much
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Sex God
Quote by essex34m
..dont abuse me too much
You wish
Sex God
Quote by essex34m
What the hell were you expecting, you have no cock shot in your profile.
H.x
nah, the camera i have has a piss poor zoom on it
Isn't the facility you are looking for on your camera called "Macro" :dunno:
Sex God
Quote by essex34m
i have been a member here since sept of last year, and have sent absolutely no replies to adverts, and i havent asked to meet up with anyone
so why arent i inundated with offers?
surely this is a pick up joint?
what am i doing wrong?
obviously this is tongue in cheek, dont abuse me too much
You will have to put some effort in and get a grip
Get the cock shots up and make sure your profile is missleading :lol:
Master of Sex
hope this info has helped u
Sex God
you made the mistake of letting people meet you at munches, cheap gold sovs and burberry shell suits are so last year
Orgasminator
I'm probably going to ruin my continuing success by telling everyone my secret but here goes:
a search for all women and couples within 50 miles.
't bother reading their profiles or ads as they're all really looking for single guys whether they state it or not. You can ignore the NO SINGLES GUYS!!!! bit it just means they're gagging for it.
each one. Make sure you use a catchy subject, good examples would be "I'm horny" or "I'm bored"
't spend too long composing a your message, a simple "Fancy a shag!!" is enough to entice any woman.
make sure you attach a cock shot, women love that.
All you have to do then is sit back and watch your inbox fill with replies from horny women.
a search for all women and couples within 50 miles.
't bother reading their profiles or ads as they're all really looking for single guys whether they state it or not. You can ignore the NO SINGLES GUYS!!!! bit it just means they're gagging for it.
each one. Make sure you use a catchy subject, good examples would be "I'm horny" or "I'm bored"
't spend too long composing a your message, a simple "Fancy a shag!!" is enough to entice any woman.
make sure you attach a cock shot, women love that.
All you have to do then is sit back and watch your inbox fill with replies from horny women.
Quote by sussexguy
I'm probably going to ruin my continuing success by telling everyone my secret but here goes:
a search for all women and couples within 50 miles.
't bother reading their profiles or ads as they're all really looking for single guys whether they state it or not. You can ignore the NO SINGLES GUYS!!!! bit it just means they're gagging for it.
each one. Make sure you use a catchy subject, good examples would be "I'm horny" or "I'm bored"
't spend too long composing a your message, a simple "Fancy a shag!!" is enough to entice any woman.
make sure you attach a cock shot, women love that.
All you have to do then is sit back and watch your inbox fill with replies from horny women.
Na tried all that didn't work for me when I was single :cry: :cry:
Hell I even expanded my search to 100 miles still no joy :cry: :cry: :cry:
So i got a set of pictures of a male model to use on my profile they still didn't work :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Orgasminator
Quote by sheddy
I'm probably going to ruin my continuing success by telling everyone my secret but here goes:
a search for all women and couples within 50 miles.
't bother reading their profiles or ads as they're all really looking for single guys whether they state it or not. You can ignore the NO SINGLES GUYS!!!! bit it just means they're gagging for it.
each one. Make sure you use a catchy subject, good examples would be "I'm horny" or "I'm bored"
't spend too long composing a your message, a simple "Fancy a shag!!" is enough to entice any woman.
make sure you attach a cock shot, women love that.
All you have to do then is sit back and watch your inbox fill with replies from horny women.
Na tried all that didn't work for me when I was single :cry: :cry:
Hell I even expanded my search to 100 miles still no joy :cry: :cry: :cry:
So i got a set of pictures of a male model to use on my profile they still didn't work :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Did you try the old "pretend to be a bi-fem" trick?
Sex God
Quote by sheddy
:doh: I knew i'd forgot something :cry: :cry:
you are in soo much trouble young man............
Sex God
Quote by sheddy
:doh: I knew i'd forgot something :cry: :cry:
you are in soo much trouble young man............
Have you told them you actually DO look, sound and act like Al Bundy? Can't see how any bird would have a problem with that
Not forgetting to use terms like:
Horny bird
Up for it
Stiff just for you
Gagging for it
and my own personal favourite:
I just know I can turn you straight again :doh: ( to which my reply is usually 'with blokes like you around I'll never be straight again'
Not forgetting to use terms like:
Horny bird
Up for it
Stiff just for you
Gagging for it
and my own personal favourite:
I just know I can turn you straight again :doh: ( to which my reply is usually 'with blokes like you around I'll never be straight again'
I love this thread! So much good advice! Since telling people about our holiday we have been inundated with offers from so many special men with great profiles.
Although my gf and I saywe aren't looking for men - everyone knows that no women can really resist an old married guy, who can't spell, can't read, is unable to string a decent sentence together and sends lots of pictures of his fat gut and wonky c*ck.
Lesbian is of course our secret code for 'We Want Cock & Will Be Eternally Grateful' so I suggest that you do a search and you are bound to have some luck!
:thumbup:
Sex God
Quote by Kiss_Me
Lesbian is of course our secret code for 'We Want Cock & Will Be Eternally Grateful'
Why did you not tell me this earlier?
:shock:
*Meaty brings his week as a lesbian to a very sudden stop
* Quote by meat2pleaseu
Lesbian is of course our secret code for 'We Want Cock & Will Be Eternally Grateful'
Why did you not tell me this earlier?
:shock:
*Meaty brings his week as a lesbian to a very sudden stop
*:giggle:
Well Meaty I didn't tell you because I was hoping Bloke would find you before you figured it out! :rascal:
Sex God
it does explain the wink from the straight bloke in North Scotland :doh:
Sex God
Quote by Kiss_Me
I love this thread! So much good advice! Since telling people about our holiday we have been inundated with offers from so many special men with great profiles.
Although my gf and I say we aren't looking for men - everyone knows that no women can really resist an old married guy, who can't spell, can't read, is unable to string a decent sentence together and sends lots of pictures of his fat gut and wonky c*ck.
Lesbian is of course our secret code for 'We Want Cock & Will Be Eternally Grateful' so I suggest that you do a search and you are bound to have some luck!
:thumbup:
Stormy deletes his PM, and goes back to the drawing board. :doh:
Stormwalker
I love this thread! So much good advice! Since telling people about our holiday we have been inundated with offers from so many special men with great profiles.
Although my gf and I saywe aren't looking for men - everyone knows that no women can really resist an old married guy, who can't spell, can't read, is unable to string a decent sentence together and sends lots of pictures of his fat gut and wonky c*ck.
Lesbian is of course our secret code for 'We Want Cock & Will Be Eternally Grateful' so I suggest that you do a search and you are bound to have some luck!
Sometimes it's embarrassing to be a man
Sex God
Essex.... don't offer to take them for a bit of a drive and then send them a piccie of the 'shaggin waggon'
Matching cars, caps and tracksuits really ARE sooo last year!
Gem. x
Matching cars, caps and tracksuits really ARE sooo last year!
Gem. x
Quote by firelizard
Stormy deletes his PM, and goes back to the drawing board. :doh:
Stormwalker
Awww I was looking forward to your PM!
Quote by seasider
Sometimes it's embarrassing to be a man
Women can be just as bad too - I've seen and read some things on here that make me ashamed to be a woman!! Unfortunately I wrote most of 'em!
:giggle:
