Just seen (mis-posted in the "Women seeking men" category) about the zillionth advert from a single guy describing themselves as "not bad looking". This seems to be the in-phrase at the moment, a fact which boggles my mind... Ladies, do "not bad looking" guys get you going? And gents, when you have no problem crowing about your cock-size, why do you get all coy when it comes to describing your other attractive qualities?
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Not bad looking
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I put this down to the fact that most guys dont have an ego the size of a house. If i was to ad and put 'male 24, slim, toned, dropdead gorgeous' then most women would think 'get over yourself' and whats to say they are telling the truth.
By saying 'not bad looking' or 'reasonably attractive' 'considered attractive' it leaves all angles open and doesnt make you look to be a vein fool (see jason on Big Brother)
True that other ways could be used to describe yourself, i put 'not brad pitt but i scrub up nicely given 10 minits' just to be safe, so i guess 'not bad looking' is a cop out for not finding an original way to describe yourself, but its better than 'im gorgeous me, you want my babies.. oh yes'
Russ
By saying 'not bad looking' or 'reasonably attractive' 'considered attractive' it leaves all angles open and doesnt make you look to be a vein fool (see jason on Big Brother)
True that other ways could be used to describe yourself, i put 'not brad pitt but i scrub up nicely given 10 minits' just to be safe, so i guess 'not bad looking' is a cop out for not finding an original way to describe yourself, but its better than 'im gorgeous me, you want my babies.. oh yes'
Russ
Sex God
Why not just include a full- body, clothed photo with the ad...and let everyone judge for themselves? 
Would make a pleasant change from all the cock shots.
~Reese!
Would make a pleasant change from all the cock shots.
~Reese!
Quote by roger743
Just seen (mis-posted in the "Women seeking men" category) about the zillionth advert from a single guy describing themselves as "not bad looking". This seems to be the in-phrase at the moment, a fact which boggles my mind... Ladies, do "not bad looking" guys get you going? And gents, when you have no problem crowing about your cock-size, why do you get all coy when it comes to describing your other attractive qualities?
Er, well would you prefer us not-bad-looking guys to lie and say we make Mel Gibson look like Rio Ferdinand? I thought that honesty was the name of the game in swinging circles, so the few times I've replied to ads I've said "not bad looking" (which is true - perhaps a little more attractive than average) and haven't even mentioned my cock (on the grounds that what's between the ears is more important than what's between the legs). Are you going to go for a guy who describes himself as the bee's knees looks-wise, with the risk that he might turn out to be an arrogant SOB?
Of course, it could just be stereotypical British reserve and modesty... ;-)
Mr Licks (Paul Merton-lookalike)
Sex God
Quote by surreycouple2003
If I was to say a combimation of Hugh Grant and Jude Law.......
...you wouldn't be wrong! And I must say that your other half is quite the stunning woman as well!! :thumbup:
~Reese!
P.S. Apologies - am on a "pull-fest" today whilst Vix is at work - see this thread for all the gory details. :P
Quote by MrLickingham
I thought that honesty was the name of the game in swinging circles, so the few times I've replied to ads I've said "not bad looking"
Yeah, but when every other guy is using the same phrase to describe themselves, it conjures up images of an army of clones marching through this website...
Let me put it this way. I'm straight, but I wouldn't go for a woman whose only description of their features was "not bad looking". The phrase conveys to me the image of a woman who doesn't really care about her appearance, but doesn't think she's completely ugly yet. A woman who couldn't make the effort to describe herself properly, doesn't make the effort to look good, and on that evidence probably wouldn't make much effort in the bedroom either. Why would I be attracted to a woman like that?
Quote by roger743
I thought that honesty was the name of the game in swinging circles, so the few times I've replied to ads I've said "not bad looking"
Yeah, but when every other guy is using the same phrase to describe themselves, it conjures up images of an army of clones marching through this website...
Let me put it this way. I'm straight, but I wouldn't go for a woman whose only description of their features was "not bad looking". The phrase conveys to me the image of a woman who doesn't really care about her appearance, but doesn't think she's completely ugly yet. A woman who couldn't make the effort to describe herself properly, doesn't make the effort to look good, and on that evidence probably wouldn't make much effort in the bedroom either. Why would I be attracted to a woman like that?
Roger;
Many, many people find it difficult to describe themselves - I know I do for one ; and though I would not use the phrase " not bad looking" , I do use the "just average looking" one. They mean the same.. I have had a woman describe me as " just short of handsome" and at first I thought that was a bit hurtful.. But she was absoultely correct - that is what I am (though am sure that some would say I am an ugly prat).. You know what - I try and make up for any lacking in the looks departemnt by having a good personality and being able to hold decent conversation and make people laugh..
I think that you are totally wrong with the analogy - if it is such a beast
"The phrase conveys to me the image of a woman who doesn't really care about her appearance, but doesn't think she's completely ugly yet. A woman who couldn't make the effort to describe herself properly, doesn't make the effort to look good, and on that evidence probably wouldn't make much effort in the bedroom either. "
Your judgement is harsh.. but maybe you were joking and I read it incorrectly.
Paul
Quote by Fun365
You know what - I try and make up for any lacking in the looks departemnt by having a good personality and being able to hold decent conversation and make people laugh..
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that (although I will just point out that beauty is in the eye of the beholder). But a person is a package; you're not your face, any more than you're your arse or your sense of humour; you're all these things and more, put together in a big sack and shaken.
What's an average person anyway? In the whole of my life I don't think I've met one "average" person - male or female.
Quote by Fun365
Your judgement is harsh.. but maybe you were joking and I read it incorrectly.
Nope, if a woman approaches me (oh boy, we're in fantasy land here!), I wouldn't be turned on by a description of herself as "not bad looking". In fact, I'd find it vaguely insulting to me, as though she thinks I'm so desparate I'll jump on anyone who isn't actively repulsive. To my mind, writing "I'm not bad looking" as though it's a positive virtue is right up there with "I can count to five" and "I can open a tin of spaghetti" .
Quote by Kinky Lizard
surreycouple2003 wrote: I am actually very good looking.
If I was to say a combimation of Hugh Grant and Jude Law.......
Good for you mate!
Me??? If I was to say a combination of Bernie Grant and Dennis Law!
by the way Roger....I think you are slightly better than 'not bad looking'
Or maybe Eddie Grant and Benny from LA Law!!! :wink:
(Does anyone remember LA Law??)
Quote by roger743
You know what - I try and make up for any lacking in the looks departemnt by having a good personality and being able to hold decent conversation and make people laugh..
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that (although I will just point out that beauty is in the eye of the beholder). But a person is a package; you're not your face, any more than you're your arse or your sense of humour; you're all these things and more, put together in a big sack and shaken.
What's an average person anyway? In the whole of my life I don't think I've met one "average" person - male or female.
Quote by Fun365
Your judgement is harsh.. but maybe you were joking and I read it incorrectly.
Nope, if a woman approaches me (oh boy, we're in fantasy land here!), I wouldn't be turned on by a description of herself as "not bad looking". In fact, I'd find it vaguely insulting to me, as though she thinks I'm so desparate I'll jump on anyone who isn't actively repulsive. To my mind, writing "I'm not bad looking" as though it's a positive virtue is right up there with "I can count to five" and "I can open a tin of spaghetti" .
That is insulting - but not insulting to you. It's insulting to her!! How can you equate " I'm not bad looking " to " I can count to five" and " I can open a tin of spaghetti"?
Surely, this is patronising in the extreme..
I don't really want to have an arguement on this Roger - but if you want one then go ahead
Paul
Quote by Fun365
That is insulting - but not insulting to you. It's insulting to her!! How can you equate " I'm not bad looking " to " I can count to five" and " I can open a tin of spaghetti"?
Because what's the inverses - "I'm bad looking", "I can't count to five", "I can't open a tin of spaghetti" - they're all equally seductive to my mind!
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with any of these things - if you're innumerate then I'm sure it makes your life a lot more of a struggle, but you can no doubt be a lovely and beautiful person nonetheless. I know a grown man who can't measure - he's just never been able to get to grips with it - and he's a really nice man. But saying that's a seductive virtue is a step too far.
I've no idea how requiring some form of specialness in sexual partners, is insulting to me, but perhaps you'd care to elaborate.
Quote by Fun365
Surely, this is patronising in the extreme..
How? How does not being immediately bowled over by three little words become patronising? Should I become a salyvating obsessive as soon as those words dribble from someone's keyboard? Do you?
Quote by Fun365
I don't really want to have an arguement on this Roger - but if you want one then go ahead
You do realise that what I was making a point about the phrase "Not bad looking" (and particular its over-use) rather than making judgements about people based on a crude scale of physical appearance, right?
Quote by roger743
I don't really want to have an arguement on this Roger - but if you want one then go ahead
Ah, forget it. I don't understand the point you're trying to make but I'm happy to leave it be to keep the peace.
Yes , I do understand the point you were making - but did not think that it came accross - hence my responses...
Let'sleave it at that
Take Care
Paul
Quote by roger743
I thought that honesty was the name of the game in swinging circles, so the few times I've replied to ads I've said "not bad looking"
Yeah, but when every other guy is using the same phrase to describe themselves, it conjures up images of an army of clones marching through this website...
Let me put it this way. I'm straight, but I wouldn't go for a woman whose only description of their features was "not bad looking". The phrase conveys to me the image of a woman who doesn't really care about her appearance, but doesn't think she's completely ugly yet. A woman who couldn't make the effort to describe herself properly, doesn't make the effort to look good, and on that evidence probably wouldn't make much effort in the bedroom either. Why would I be attracted to a woman like that?
Because she might be a nice person? Because she might be active and imaginative in bed? (Or in the car park, heh, heh.) I think you're drawing too many inferences from "not bad looking" without any evidence. To me the phrase says modesty or shyness, not slovenliness or laziness, but that's a matter of personal interpretation.
To be blunt, most of the mug shots I've seen on this site are not of people who'd be considered attractive, in the conventional sense. For that matter, most of the bodies and body parts on show aren't conventionally attractive either. You could include a mugshot with a post in addition to any description of your own face, but even that is (literally) two-dimensional. I've known women who look a million dollars in a photo having the attractiveness and sex appeal of a wet cabbage in real life, and women who look plain or worse on paper being really vivacious, attractive and sexy on meeting. (I'm thinking of one in particular whom I used to work with, who was sex on legs when you met her and had men drooling after her with their tongues hanging out, but who looked dull as dishwater in a photo.)
I'd hope that applies to blokes as well. I know I come across as bland, but not ugly, in a photo, and my body's nowt to write home about, but I like to think that I can turn women around, and if lucky on, when meeting them through my personal qualities.
Still, I see your point, and perhaps in future I'll describe myself as 'above-average looking' or even 'nice-looking, and take the risk that it makes me sound too full of myself. Sorry about any rambling above, but I'm desperate to get out of work, feed my face, and get to the boozer :*)
Mr Licks
Sex God
I took no offence Roger and have changed my advert to read...
"hung like a hampster" and "the dead spit of Rumpole of the Bailey"
"hung like a hampster" and "the dead spit of Rumpole of the Bailey"
I think Roger just wants a bit more originality in the guys that post on here, he is right tho... too many seem to come on and post 'i want sex' then they expect it, then they leave when they find that its not simply a 'post and get laid' site, so id rather they didnt bother posting to start with
Russ
Russ
Sex God
Yes.... well, after checking how I describe myself in my ad ...... "wonderful" is I think the most descriptive word I use :shock: , I think using terms like "not bad looking" does come down to unimaginitive thinking, as Russ says, or not knowing what to put in order to sound a "nice guy". If a guy puts "attractive" or something like that, people might think he's being arrogant or whatever.... " not bad looking" is another way to say "attractive", but less assertively, isn't it? :? Anyways, I don't really take much notice of written descriptions, they're a bit meaningless. If I really want to know what someone looks like, I would ask for a photo. I think it's the overall impression of the ad that matters, rather than specific words.
...... "wonderful" is I think the most descriptive word I use :shock: , I think using terms like "not bad looking" does come down to unimaginitive thinking, as Russ says, or not knowing what to put in order to sound a "nice guy". If a guy puts "attractive" or something like that, people might think he's being arrogant or whatever.... " not bad looking" is another way to say "attractive", but less assertively, isn't it? :? Anyways, I don't really take much notice of written descriptions, they're a bit meaningless. If I really want to know what someone looks like, I would ask for a photo. I think it's the overall impression of the ad that matters, rather than specific words. 