Not so good meet

14 Aug 2007

I do understand where cossie is coming from, when we were new to swinging we got pretty drunk and ended up with a couple that we just didn't have that spark or attraction, and we probably wouldn't have considered swinging at all if we'd been sober-all in all it was a bad experience.
You weren't that pissed were you i thought i was a hunk lol

14 Aug 2007

thats why we take time to meet up socially first see if theres a buzz then go home n talk about it ,but then again sometimes that dont work would not play even if they had came a long way ,we had this with a cpl who asked if me mrs would play with him i said cant answer that ,she then said as i would def play with you, and they wernt bothered about coming the 300 odd mile ,we just said no as did not want to waste there time and money,but cos ya live and learn ,move on.

14 Aug 2007

well I am glad this has sparked a good post, we know they do not frequent this site and yes we are quite new to the swinging seen, but we have not attacked them in any form, He was handsome and she had a very pretty face and was only about a size 14 to 16, but we just did not click, we thought we did when the drinks were flowing but it just was not right.
what more can I say.
Yes I can see both sides to the story, but having all are previous meets going so well, I for one just needed a little bit of "you are not the only one" comments.
As I was feeling a little down
we both should have called it a day when we both looked at each other early on back at the hotel and we knew it.
I think we just need more experiance to know how to handle it.
I was asking for help and advice and I was not trying to slate anyone.

14 Aug 2007

I`ve been reading this with interest. I agree with alot that has been said and feel like i want to add my 2p worth lol

First of all I don`t think cossie meant any harm with her post however I hope the other couple don`t see it, I would be devastated if someone was talking about me on an open forum. It would probably put me off swinging for life.
I agree with what FB said regarding having a signal betwen themselves :thumbup:.
Personally I wouldn`t have played if I didn`t feel like it was working no matter how far they had travelled, that said it could have been difficult to tell them the reasons why but somethings just have to be said.
I would hope no-one would expect a definate play on first meet just because they have travelled although I may be naive in thinking that.
Like it has been said by a few its difficult to judge size completly by pic as most peoples weight fluctuates slightly anyway.
Anyways I think I have rambled enough now.
Lyns x

14 Aug 2007

Well ... I thought it a valid post after all.
Nothing was said to be offensive to anyone even if they did read it.. 'nerdy' is considered polite for being a twat after all!
There fault anyway for sending out of date pics!! bolt

All this needed was some git to stir it up.. :twisted:

14 Aug 2007

Quote by Srne
I do understand where cossie is coming from, when we were new to swinging we got pretty drunk and ended up with a couple that we just didn't have that spark or attraction, and we probably wouldn't have considered swinging at all if we'd been sober-all in all it was a bad experience.
You weren't that pissed were you i thought i was a hunk

I'd had 2 bottles of vodka and didn't have my contacts in......

14 Aug 2007

We were stone cold sober...
Just made it worse.. Boo Hoo xx
Mike x

14 Aug 2007

Quote by mdr2000
We were stone cold sober...
Just made it worse.. Boo Hoo xx
Mike x

:laughabove:

14 Aug 2007

Quote by Cossie
I was asking for help and advice and I was not trying to slate anyone.

Don't get too sensitive about it. There's been a lot of good advice here. ( Mine's on page 2!! :twisted: )

14 Aug 2007

so long as the meets are going great, well, it's all good? it's the one bad meet that knocks you sideways. you don't have to think about the good ones? it's the 'WTF happened there then?' kinda meets that are the most instructive, in my experience, cos they're the ones you really need to wrap your head around? confused

;)
bad meets sometimes turn out to be the best ones, cos at least you know what you ain't gonna do again! it makes you more careful next time, and a bit more selective? ;)

we both should have called it a day when we both looked at each other early on back at the hotel and we knew it.

we have a safe word, as mentioned above by others. one of us says, or whispers, 'Red', and it's all over, even if one of us says it halfway through a shag? done, dusted, we'll explain it to you later, my partner is gonna demand an explanation of me at some point, or i'll demand one of her, but we're out of here, no questions asked for now?
usually the others involved know exactly what red means, and if we want to make our feelings clear, we say it loud enough for them to hear? usually it goes unquestioned, cos they more than likely have a red word too? it's not necessarily me, not necessarily her, not necessarily them, but right now, for whatever reason, it ain't happening? it's an easier word to say than 'no'? ;)
n x x x ;)

15 Aug 2007

Quote by neilinleeds
so long as the meets are going great, well, it's all good? it's the one bad meet that knocks you sideways. you don't have to think about the good ones? think you've discovered that? ;) it's the 'WTF happened there then?' kinda meets that are the most instructive, in my experience, cos they're the ones you really need to wrap your head around? ;)
n x x x ;)

Respect Neil! :thumbup:
Good post Cossie _ We have been where you are with a meet and did the same thing but for far longer on two occasions!! Whatever goes on though, just keep it open between you two so you can discuss how you each felt and learn from it and from all the sage advice. Hey and i don't think anyone ever stops making mistakes. It's the dealing with them that improves.

15 Aug 2007

This has been a great post. It has sparked a huge number of comments from members, but if you take the underlying message it's all good.
It seems we're all concerned about NOT hurting other people's feeling, and I think that's very encouraging. It's also quite clear that everyone is trying NOT to hurt Cossie's feelings either but give genuine advice and opinions.
This is a great sign, and shows what a great site this is. There are loads of very good and decent people on here, so here's wishing you all the best Cossie. Hope you have more successful meets in the future.
So welcome to the site. Have fun and enjoy!
biggrin

:D :D

15 Aug 2007

Quote by neilinleeds
bad meets sometimes turn out to be the best ones, cos at least you know what you ain't gonna do again! it makes you more careful next time, and a bit more selective? ;)

Absolutely. Your safe word is along the lines of the signal I mentioned before.

Quote by Lost
Hey and i don't think anyone ever stops making mistakes. It's the dealing with them that improves.

No, we learn from our mistakes. How much we all improve with the dealing of them is debatable.

Quote by bbw_lover
Hope you have more successful meets in the future.

So do I – but we don’t need to know about them on the forum!
I think most of us are guilty at some point of referring to things that make it kind of obvious who we’ve met. If I was to post anything that made reference to any meet though, I’d run it by the other party first just to make sure they were OK with what I was going to post. Unless I already knew from speaking with them, that it was OK.
Final word? Discretion.

15 Aug 2007

I went through with a meet once where the guy in the couple made me uneasy beforehand, he was just too jittery and made some odd statements and asked me even odder logic was that the sex between us would ease all that but it didn't, the mood was all askew and I couldn't fully let go and enjoy it and, from what I could tell, nor could they.
But you don't quite know which way the wind will blow until you play, people are human and go whatever way they go in such feeling is so personal and to explore it in this way is such an adventure each time, an adventure that can be utterly midblowingly wonderful or a total flop!
I think it's always worth a try but with the proviso that it can be said sorry, no offence intended but it's not quite happening for me / us.

15 Aug 2007

We have a safe word....
'Goodbye' :twisted: :twisted: lol

Mike and Julie xx

16 Aug 2007

Quote by niceandgentle
But you don't quite know which way the wind will blow until you play, people are human and go whatever way they go in such feeling is so personal and to explore it in this way is such an adventure each time, an adventure that can be utterly midblowingly wonderful or a total flop!
I think it's always worth a try but with the proviso that it can be said sorry, no offence intended but it's not quite happening for me / us.

Exactly. For me, on a few occasions meets which started out not being very promising turned out to be very good, other times encounters which were very promising turned out very disappointing in one way or another. You can never tell.

16 Aug 2007

Quote by MikeNorth

But you don't quite know which way the wind will blow until you play, people are human and go whatever way they go in such feeling is so personal and to explore it in this way is such an adventure each time, an adventure that can be utterly midblowingly wonderful or a total flop!
I think it's always worth a try but with the proviso that it can be said sorry, no offence intended but it's not quite happening for me / us.

Exactly. For me, on a few occasions meets which started out not being very promising turned out to be very good, other times encounters which were very promising turned out very disappointing in one way or another. You can never tell.
Yes Mike - but I'm wondering about what "an adventure that can be utterly midblowingly wonderful" is lol - mindblowing I've experienced but now I wanna try this midblowing lark lol!

16 Aug 2007

Quote by Cossie
We met a couple this weekend not from this site, they seemed fine and we went for a drink and all was ok, he was good looking, but a little nerdy. But I thought it would be fine.
we get back to the hotel and start playing and I found that he just did not do it for me. and she was a little big for both of us(sorry just are taste) the pictures did not portray this though.
in the end we full swaped just because they had traveled so far.
I did not hate it but I did not enjoy it.
what would you guys have done?

This happened to me before.
A guy travelled a fair distance to meet me, I wasnt too clued up back then and arranged the meet just from seeing a quick webcam show. Anyway, when we met I knew instantly that he wasnt for me but I felt so bad about him travelling that I went ahead with it anyway. Needless to say that I felt like absolute crap after, not just for me but for him also because I wasnt really as much into it as I should have been and I do like to give my all wink

So bascially what im saying is that I would never do that again. If I hadnt made perfectly sure that the attraction was there before the meet and met and didnt fancy the person I would have to explain this as nicely as I could and go home.
louise xx

17 Aug 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
We met a couple this weekend not from this site, they seemed fine and we went for a drink and all was ok, he was good looking, but a little nerdy. But I thought it would be fine.
we get back to the hotel and start playing and I found that he just did not do it for me. and she was a little big for both of us(sorry just are taste) the pictures did not portray this though.
in the end we full swaped just because they had traveled so far.
I did not hate it but I did not enjoy it.
what would you guys have done?

This happened to me before.
A guy travelled a fair distance to meet me, I wasnt too clued up back then and arranged the meet just from seeing a quick webcam show. Anyway, when we met I knew instantly that he wasnt for me but I felt so bad about him travelling that I went ahead with it anyway. Needless to say that I felt like absolute crap after, not just for me but for him also because I wasnt really as much into it as I should have been and I do like to give my all wink

So bascially what im saying is that I would never do that again. If I hadnt made perfectly sure that the attraction was there before the meet and met and didnt fancy the person I would have to explain this as nicely as I could and go home.
louise xx
Louise, I'd 100% respect someone who said that to me rather than them feeling obliged to 'go through the motions'.