Off Topic Area? Saves thread locking and Ill feeling?

21 Jan 2005

hhhmmm.... so the obvious thing is a demand for an off topic area?
When you look back its so OBVIOUSLY the main area of grief and ill feeling ( growing) on the forum.
I personally moderate two other forums so know exactly the thankless task that mods have to do...... so rather than continue to create the 'us and them' or 'clique' that many have referred to why not just dreate an off topic area for chatting - it works well on other forums and reduces work for mods and saves ill feeling.
To the senior Mods I'd personally be a little concerned that several people have been leaving the forum over this issue and there is generally quite a bit of ill feeling for what is supposed to be a fun and liberated place? smile

I have received PM's from people basically agreeing with previous comments, but not willing to post publicly....... that can't be a good vibe can it?
Finally - if the current policy of thread locking is to continue why not change the wording of the description of the cafe - and also the posting rules to confirm to newer (and established) users that off topic threads are not allowed?
I'm just trying to get something positive here - I've no desire to be attacked again by arrogant and rude people..... please! :cry: :cry:

21 Jan 2005

From the maini index, RE: The Cafe:

General discussion and chit-chat. Post anything here that is NOT a Meet Up or about Dogging. Use the sections below for those.

So no off-topic area is needed, this is it. Off topic chat gets posted here. A quick glance over the first page here shows there's plenty of the totally non-swinging related threads.
There are certainly those here who don't want to see anything off-topic but, in general, the mods don't usually lock a thread just because it's off-topic. They can be a bit over zealous at times, to be sure, but then again they're doing a job I certainly would not want to do.

21 Jan 2005

Quote by lincskate
hhhmmm.... so the obvious thing is a demand for an off topic area?
Obvious? Not really. I haven't seen a huge group of people asking for it.
When you look back its so OBVIOUSLY the main area of grief and ill feeling ( growing) on the forum.
As above - no, it isn't obvious.
I personally moderate two other forums so know exactly the thankless task that mods have to do...... so rather than continue to create the 'us and them' or 'clique' that many have referred to why not just dreate an off topic area for chatting - it works well on other forums and reduces work for mods and saves ill feeling.
How could it reduce the workload? It would INCREASE it because it is an extra forum! It can't be unmoderated as it would cause further issues about what is and isn't allowed, therefore further rules for that particular forum and naturally, people who don't read the rules normally, who start breaking those rules as well!!
To the senior Mods I'd personally be a little concerned that several people have been leaving the forum over this issue and there is generally quite a bit of ill feeling for what is supposed to be a fun and liberated place?
There are no senior mods. All mods are equal. Several leaving over this issue? We will always have natural wastage with over 16,000 members and I don't recall anyone mentioning to me or other mods they were leaving because they wanted to know how many tiles were needed to tile a kitchen wether it was locked/deleted or whatever! It is a Swingers Site, for Gods sake. Would you ask that sort of question on a trainspotters site - or even does anyone shag whilst trainspotting?
I have received PM's from people basically agreeing with previous comments, but not willing to post publicly....... that can't be a good vibe can it?
A hero in our midst. They can always pm us. We don't bite and have more influence on Site policy than you do.
Finally - if the current policy of thread locking is to continue why not change the wording of the description of the cafe - and also the posting rules to confirm to newer (and established) users that off topic threads are not allowed?
The rules are kept as simple as possible. We cannot rule for every action that can be taken. Few enough read the rules as it is, fewer still would read more rules. That's why we have 'Moderators discretion'.
I'm just trying to get something positive here - I've no desire to be attacked again by arrogant and rude people..... please! :cry: :cry:

I hope that answers your queries.
Mal

21 Jan 2005

Do you know the most annoying thing about this. banghead

The reasons were given as to why that thread was locked, they usually are and if not can be requested?
The forums aren't going to change just because some people spit their dummy out over locked posts.
If there is a reasonable, fun, serious or questioning topic it will usually be left open, irregardless of subject matter.
A thread that requires one answer, is abusive, particularly boring to the majority or has been done to death will probably be locked.
We don't need an off topic area.
Now enough because I'm getting really bored with it.
Jas

21 Jan 2005

Might it be an idea to try to broaden the number of areas? The Caff, Dogging and Meets is perhaps a bit limited, considering the size of SH.
Personally, I have no interest in dogging, and no interest in 95% of the topics that are raised, but I might bemore interested in other specific areas, such as a B&D Corner ("go and stand in the corner, you naughty person").
Of course, it's easy to copme up with suggestions when one is not voluntering to take on any responsibility.
K

21 Jan 2005

We have a B&D area, it is next to the crÃ¨che, between the swimming pool and tennis courts.

21 Jan 2005

Quote by KandA
Might it be an idea to try to broaden the number of areas? The Caff, Dogging and Meets is perhaps a bit limited, considering the size of SH.
Personally, I have no interest in dogging, and no interest in 95% of the topics that are raised, but I might bemore interested in other specific areas, such as a B&D Corner ("go and stand in the corner, you naughty person").
Of course, it's easy to copme up with suggestions when one is not voluntering to take on any responsibility.
K

I see your point, however, this is a Swingers Site, not a B&D site. I know some swingers are also into that, but some swingers like fishing. Should we have a forum for Swinging fishermen (or women)?
Mal
wink

21 Jan 2005

Did someone mention swinging fishermen?

21 Jan 2005

Quote by mal609
I see your point, however, this is a Swingers Site, not a B&D site. I know some swingers are also into that, but some swingers like fishing. Should we have a forum for Swinging fishermen (or women)?
Mal

Oooh! Baiting!
biggrin

*Pulls up a chair... anticipating much hissyness on the 'locking' topic*

21 Jan 2005

Quote by wildwilly
willy runs off to get his waders]
Did someone mention swinging fishermen?

No, no, no..............it's fishing swingermen :P
Jas
XXX

21 Jan 2005

ok ..... I get it now.....
Its no longer a fun place............
Mods are obviously all gonna stick together and as i'm not regular enough and part of the clique I'm not allowed to express an opinion without getting slagged for it.
Mods replies are always ultra defensive - even my point (also pointed out by another in the thread) that the Cafe description is anything and everything - so why not even consider it might just possibly be worth changing it.
Anyway...... due to the collective responses and general attitude of people here - I'll take an earlier suggestion and find the door.
Pity really......... but I'll stick to my other two forums in future - where there isn't the ill feeling, rudeness and back biting which is pervading here.
I can hear the mods cheering now.... biggrin

:D :D

21 Jan 2005

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Now you can see me cheering!! lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

21 Jan 2005

Quote by Vix
*Pulls up a chair... anticipating much hissyness on the 'locking' topic*

I feel daft now in these waders, never mind...
*pulls up chair next to Vix "think its to early to get the wine and crisps out"*

21 Jan 2005

No I'm giggling.
I love it when people spit their dummies out when their opinions are not agreed with, or their suggestions are not leapt at as the obvious answer to make this site better.
Your questions have been answered politely and your opinion has been taken onboard. Discarded by me, but you were still able to post it.
I really don't see your problem dunno

but hey ho, if you choose to leave, you choose to leave. The site isn't going to crumble nor the world end.
Jas
XXX

21 Jan 2005

Jas, please don`t giggle. I`ve only just woken up, and I`m not sure I can cope with your jiggling.......and stuff, first thing in the morning..... silly

hwoar: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Venusxxx

21 Jan 2005

The Cafe is not, and never has been, an 'anything goes' area. There are a HUGE number of subjects that are banned from discussion. Many of those bans, everyone is in agreement with, others, they are not. The decision on what is allowed is ultimately up to Mark. He appoints the moderators, because he feels they will broadly reflect the views he holds.
There is no 'charter' for the site. It is run purely based on the personalities of the individuals involved. They make the the decisions, the rest of us comply with them, get deactivate, or leave. It is not as if there is nowhere else to go, it is a bloody big internet out there.
And this is a message for those who get other people to do their dirty work:
There is nobody on the site that has any real power over the life of anyone else on the site. If you have something to say, and cannot face posting it in the open, then that is to do with you and no one else. There is nothing any member, even a moderator, can do that will have any genuine impact on you. So what is it that is it that makes you so afraid to post your views?
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but people saying nasty things about me when they disagree with me, and mods locking my posts and deactivating me will never really hurt me"
It so frustrates me when people are forced to describe having background conversations using PM's, then pop up saying 'I, and the shadowy people who support me....." If you are going to send a PM to light somebody's blue touch paper and then sit back and watch the fun, at least have the decency to let them name you when they post.
lhk
Kat

21 Jan 2005

Quote by lincskate
ok ..... I get it now.....
Its no longer a fun place............
Mods are obviously all gonna stick together and as i'm not regular enough and part of the clique I'm not allowed to express an opinion without getting slagged for it.
Mods replies are always ultra defensive - even my point (also pointed out by another in the thread) that the Cafe description is anything and everything - so why not even consider it might just possibly be worth changing it.
Anyway...... due to the collective responses and general attitude of people here - I'll take an earlier suggestion and find the door.
Pity really......... but I'll stick to my other two forums in future - where there isn't the ill feeling, rudeness and back biting which is pervading here.
I can hear the mods cheering now.... :D :D

you utter, utter whus. You stated your case, I replied to it. I wasn't rude, I wasn't off topic and you had the chance to respond. Your reply is this flounce. What an absolute whus. You sound like a school boy who can't be the team captain, so takes his ball home. Fine. Not a problem. You already have two other forums to play with, you go and play there - but don't be surprised if you change your mind and we don't change ours!
Mal

21 Jan 2005

Quote by wildwilly

*Pulls up a chair... anticipating much hissyness on the 'locking' topic*

I feel daft now in these waders, never mind...
*pulls up chair next to Vix "think its to early to get the wine and crisps out"*
Pulls up a chair next to Vix and Wild Willy, laughs at WW's waders (not quite the thought I had in mind for thigh length boots lol

), produces popcorn and relaxes back to watch the show. Hey it's Friday everyone!!

21 Jan 2005

Swinging Trainspotters hmmmmm Well there was one time on a railway bridge I got a bit carried away with my ex.......... :twisted:
As for swinging fisher-persons lol

Well judging by some of the attire I have seen at parties, waders, ie rubber thigh boots, are rather popular :twisted: Not sure about aran jumpers though...........

21 Jan 2005

Quote by Rainbows

*Pulls up a chair... anticipating much hissyness on the 'locking' topic*

I feel daft now in these waders, never mind...
*pulls up chair next to Vix "think its to early to get the wine and crisps out"*
Pulls up a chair next to Vix and Wild Willy, laughs at WW's waders (not quite the thought I had in mind for thigh length boots lol

), produces popcorn and relaxes back to watch the show. Hey it's Friday everyone!!
Oops - sorry ladies, the star of the show has left the building! :shock:
Mal
wink

21 Jan 2005

Thass hokay, Mal. We got wine and popcorn and crishps. We gonna wait for the nesht one.
CHin chin.

21 Jan 2005

Quote by Vix
Thass hokay, Mal. We got wine and popcorn and crishps. We gonna wait for the nesht one.
CHin chin.

Starting the weekend early? lol

I'll start the car!! :twisted:
Mal
wink

21 Jan 2005

Oops - sorry ladies, the star of the show has left the building!

Was he deactivated or did he leave/deactivate himself?
Bev
x

21 Jan 2005

Quote by freckledbird
Oops - sorry ladies, the star of the show has left the building!

Was he deactivated or did he leave/deactivate himself?
Bev
x

Quote by lincskate
Anyway...... due to the collective responses and general attitude of people here - I'll take an earlier suggestion and find the door.

He left of his own accord, Bev. However, I did make sure he closed the door properly behind him!
Mal
wink

21 Jan 2005

I thought lincskate was a girl.
From Lincs.
Called Kate.

21 Jan 2005

I thought lincskate was a girl too
A girl called Lin who skates

21 Jan 2005

Nope he wasn't female or called Kate
Bev
xx

21 Jan 2005

Quote by wildwilly
I thought lincskate was a girl too
A girl called Lin who skates

Quote by lincskate
Men - I'm not female - and my names not Kate - !!

I was just wondering why only men were allowed to know this fact dunno

21 Jan 2005

OK, I did not read that.
Am a twat. (Clare_Lincs said so - and she is a girl. From Lincs. Called Clare)

21 Jan 2005

Talking of twats, is yours any better Vix?
Bev
xx