One liners!

2 Jul 2004

Oh Judy!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

2 Jul 2004

Quote by chestercouple4fun
don't you just love them, here are some of our favourites, genuine ones sent to us, all by guys who seem to think a cock picture is worth a thousand words:
"Your missus is pretty, can I fuck her?"
"8 inches hard and waiting in Manchester for you"
and at number one is:
"I can get a nice clean van to use at night" (now he really knows how to show someone a good time)
What are your favourites?

Hey, I spent entire minutes thinking those up, and if you think it's easy having to copy and paste them 47 times a day to people whose ads I haven't read, well.... it isn't, ok?

2 Jul 2004

how about:
"I am doing market research in to the everage weight of womens breasts in the UK. Would you mind if I weighed yours?"
Take one in each hand and yell "Whhheeeeeeeeyyyyyy" :P

2 Jul 2004

More of a short sentence but I've put it in quote form
John you lucky fuck......she has a lush arse........is she a hot shag?
Answer: yes (thats all the time we had for him)

2 Jul 2004

Quote by flapjackboy
Have business cards made up that read "This card entitles the bearer to a free shag!! Phone this number now"

Genius, sheer genius. rotflmao

to get some business card sheets to run through his printer
How sureal lol almost like you should be on TV who would ever have thought of a rabbit with a bloddy pancake on its head lol

2 Jul 2004

Quote by madmaninsane
Have business cards made up that read "This card entitles the bearer to a free shag!! Phone this number now"

Genius, sheer genius. rotflmao

to get some business card sheets to run through his printer
How sureal lol almost like you should be on TV who would ever have thought of a rabbit with a bloddy pancake on its head lol
Well, I can't claim credit for the picture in my sig, I'm afraid. It's just something doing the rounds at the moment. I have since found out that the rabbit's name was Oolong. Sadly, Oolong has gone to that great rabbit hutch in the sky and will no longer be balancing things on his head. His memory lives on, however in countless forums across the world as people use his image in flame pics and sigs.
Here's to you Oolong, object balancing bunny extraordinaire. worship

:worship: :worship:

3 Jul 2004

But erm, anyway. Back to the one liners.
"Get yer coat love, you've pulled."
Not that I've used that one, or had it used on me of course.

3 Jul 2004

one liner from me to C (variation on a theme)
Is there any Yorkshire in you??
Answer: "Not yet" with a VERY cheeky smile.

3 Jul 2004

:shock: Flippin'eck - some of those really do stink - how do guys hope to make any kind of impression with literary finesse like that?!
If anyone ever thinks that I'm guilty of coming even close to that level of crassness - shoot me! biggrin

3 Jul 2004

If I said you had a beautiful body,could I come on your tits and rub it all in?

3 Jul 2004

Thats a lovely dress you are wearing.......................but it would look so much better on the floor.

3 Jul 2004

"Can't wait to suck you off" :shock:
One I've just received in reply to my photo ad rotflmao

3 Jul 2004

Quote by after a great deal of work on his approach, some guy only
Are you bi?

:shock:

neil x x x x x x

3 Jul 2004

Are you....?
We've all been wondering
rotflmao

3 Jul 2004

Quote by Squiggles
If I said you had a beautiful body,could I come on your tits and rub it all in?

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:

3 Jul 2004

Quote by Squiggles
If I said you had a beautiful body,could I come on your tits and rub it all in?

CLASSIC!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
So don't leave us in suspense... did it work? Were you seduced by it? rotflmao

Sadly, I've received a few one-liners myself over the years:

add me to msn

I did but she wouldn't talk to me. sad

see ad XXXXX we would be interested to hear what you think

I guess what I thought wasn't what they wanted to hear.
Unfortunately, neither of these are half as funny as the ones that have been inflicted on some of you guys. :(

3 Jul 2004

Quote by roger743
If I said you had a beautiful body,could I come on your tits and rub it all in?

CLASSIC!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
So don't leave us in suspense... did it work? Were you seduced by it? rotflmao

Sadly, I've received a few one-liners myself over the years:

add me to msn

Not used it or been used on me I'm afraid.
I did once tell a girl to "sit on my pulsating love mound" though

3 Jul 2004

Price of sugar's gone up.
Got me married!!

3 Jul 2004

one that made me larf is
"anal sex!!!! No I don't like that, it hurts like buggery!!"
Doh!!!

3 Jul 2004

just want some info cos im new to this and could so with some help.
spotted on dogging board

3 Jul 2004

better one was on the photo ads "latest" will not put out the ad number...
hello, first let me say, Iam not the guyout of Eastenders, but you will have seen me on the telly..."
so are you the guy from news at ten??? or is it the mild mannered janitor???
how to try and draw attention to yourself... is this a great line or what?
could well be genuine but don't think i wouldlike to draw attention to myself in that way...

4 Jul 2004

Nah it was Crimewatch lol

Dawn :silly:

4 Jul 2004

Oh you mean the guy with a head like a jigsaw puzzle...
Don't know him but his face cits the picture type of thing!!
redface

4 Jul 2004

I was employed as a pole dancer at a local nightclub many years ago (fully clothed, it wasn't that sort of club) .... drunk guy's chat up line .... So do you come here often????
Erm, I work here mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hubby just said a better retort would have been ......nah mate we're not licensed for that sort of activity rolleyes

Calista x

4 Jul 2004

" I know you are straight, but do you fancy sucking my dick?"
Ehhh, no thanks! - an apparently gay guy showing us that single straight guys get timewasting one-liners too! :-)

4 Jul 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
Howay then pet ya divvent swet much ferra fat lass

Who's a canny lad then, ya gana dropem for head?
TS

5 Jul 2004

Dawn Mids they are nice tits tho stop them moving tho babe i can't take my eyes off them and i'm trying to read lol silly

hwoar:

5 Jul 2004

Well not quite a one line.....
But I did say to WBB, you've a fantastic pair of tits lol

But hey, if you cant be honest at a swingers social... where can you biggrin

PS WBB, can you send me an email from an account that accpets files larger than 4megs.... I take big pics, tis up to you to shink them after :lol:

5 Jul 2004

"nice dick, would love it in my arse"
"your piercings, my mouth, sorted"
"active/passive?"
"this is me/us" (hey does work on occasion ;-) lol)
"nice dick m8"
and the best one that had me in stitches...
"yum yum"