Are you quite mad? I was at a wedding a few weeks back. I made a concious effort to avoid all the men only cliques, talking about sport etc.
Instead I made a beeline for all the groups of women / bridesmaids for my afternoons entertainment....much more fun
However Kat, if you can lure all the blokes into here, well done. I'll go and entertain the women while you have got their attention ;-)
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Opening weekend
Oh Becks, think of how cross they will all be!
Besides, we won't talk about football, just about women!
Live life in the dangerzone!
Damn, flaw in my master plan.
Besides, we won't talk about football, just about women!
Live life in the dangerzone!
I'll go and entertain the women while you have got their attention
Damn, flaw in my master plan.
Sex God
Talking footy and shagging is cool with me, so I'm going to hang out here for now - anyone willing to bring a few bridesmaids however is very welcome 
:wink: :wink: . What is the definition of "man" anyway, I've always wanted to know? Kat, your man only string has hit a flaw if you can't answer the question 8)
:wink: :wink: . What is the definition of "man" anyway, I've always wanted to know? Kat, your man only string has hit a flaw if you can't answer the question 8) Definition of a man:
The useless piece of skin at the end of a penis.
DAMNIT - girlie answer, SEE,
we have all been brain washed! All men rise up, gird your loins and take up your weapons!
Storm the cafe!
Got to go now, kit has just got home and can't let her catch me in here
Kat
The useless piece of skin at the end of a penis.
DAMNIT - girlie answer, SEE,
we have all been brain washed! All men rise up, gird your loins and take up your weapons!
Storm the cafe!
Got to go now, kit has just got home and can't let her catch me in here
Kat
Sex God
Quick, call the cops, Kat has been abducted by feminists! Oh sorry, there's no cops available as they're all busy dogging doggers, Kat you'll just have to suffer the torment!
Re. your definition: what about men without penises, and indeed, those women who (still) have them? :shock:
Re. your definition: what about men without penises, and indeed, those women who (still) have them? :shock:
Ignore Blue, despite all rumours to the contrary, she is very much a girlie and not allowed in here. I have given here a first and final warning via PM, so she should be leaving soon. :P
Right, we need a charter,
We, the boys, do hereby declare that all sexual favours are withdrawn completely until our demands are met.
Signed
Kat
Beckers (cos he was foolish enough to reply)
Mark (It was him that put the idea in my head )
Allgood (Cos I love to drop him in it)
Bikerguy (cos he has a helmet on in his avatar and no-one will recognise him)
Midlandsmale39 (who clearly has the same self destructive urges I do)
Analogkid (who quickly identified the logic of all this, and grassed :lol: )
Watchman (cos he likes a laugh)
Right, off to do some recruiting from my e-mail list
lhk
Kat
Right, we need a charter,
We, the boys, do hereby declare that all sexual favours are withdrawn completely until our demands are met.
Signed
Kat
Beckers (cos he was foolish enough to reply)
Mark (It was him that put the idea in my head
)Allgood (Cos I love to drop him in it)
Bikerguy (cos he has a helmet on in his avatar and no-one will recognise him)
Midlandsmale39 (who clearly has the same self destructive urges I do)
Analogkid (who quickly identified the logic of all this, and grassed :lol: )
Watchman (cos he likes a laugh)
Right, off to do some recruiting from my e-mail list
lhk
Kat
Orgasminator
damn those sausage snatchers , labour withdrawn for now , theyve had it their own way since Adam asked if it was ok if he had some lunch off eves apple tree, so count me in chaps
Brother Analog, you are hereby censured by the commitee for wanton divulgement (is that a word?? ) of club secrets. Of course we know that any woman who dares post a message in here MUST be gagging for it, and will be put straight on the 'A' list.
Look on it as an advanced form of Psychometric testing.
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Look on it as an advanced form of Psychometric testing.
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Man walks into a pub with a hamster.
Announces, this hamster gives the best blow job in the world, and is yours for £50.
Old geezer looks doubtful, "how do I know this is not a wind up?"
Hamster man says, take it and have a go.
Old geezer disappears into the toilets, returns 5 minutes later with a glazed look of utter rapture, hands over £50 and goes home.
Gets home, and hands the hamster to his wife
"what am I supposed to do with this"
Old geezer replies "teach it to cook then F*** off"
*Kat runs to hide behind Mark*
Sex God
If you lot withdraw your sexual favours from your women-folk, there are going to be lots of women out there gagging for it, and I will be the first to cash in on your sex ban by doing the decent thing, and giving the girls what they want - strap-on and all. Cheers guys, I've always thought it was hard to get girls, hence have stuck with easy men, now you've made my life a whole lot easier. You lot carry on with your jokes, I'm off to do some shagging. C ya! 8) 8) 8)
I feel like a monk now
Each to his own, any monks out there for analog kid??
But I should point out that is a very bad habit you have there.
(thanks to an anonymous donor for that last pun) anonymous donor no longer anonymous. See above
Sex God
Still havin' fun in the boys room, guys!?
Ooooooh, just thought you all might like to know that Kat is downstairs cooking the dinner.
So much for boy power :lol: :lol:
Kit
xxx
So much for boy power
:lol: :lol: Kit
xxx
Warming the Bed
An alternative viewpoint:
Finally, the guy's side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine .....Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Finally, the guy's side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine .....Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
I'll wait until he gets back then be a mucky pup
Why wait
Worried you might get banned :shock:
Kit
xxx
Warming the Bed
its more fun on the couch anyway
Sex God
New Couple - absolutely spot on, couldn't have put it better myself 8) . Another reason why I stick with easy men, life is so much more simple - still going to take advantage of your sex ban though 8)
And what about
"What would you like for your Birthday darling"
"Oh, nothing special, don't spend any money, just get something that you really want to buy me"
Yeah, right!
"What would you like for your Birthday darling"
"Oh, nothing special, don't spend any money, just get something that you really want to buy me"
Yeah, right!
Sex God
Sorry, 
I think it was me who squeezed the toothpaste in the middle. And well, seeing as it's my birthday on Sunday... just buy me something...well... that you really want to buy me... but I'd prefer a brand new 10 inch strap-on, to bring tears to all of your eyes... :shock: :shock: :shock:
I think it was me who squeezed the toothpaste in the middle. And well, seeing as it's my birthday on Sunday... just buy me something...well... that you really want to buy me... but I'd prefer a brand new 10 inch strap-on, to bring tears to all of your eyes... :shock: :shock: :shock: I think you being birthday girl has already bought you an honorary pass into Pete's men-only thread -
Yeah, if it hadn't been for that I would have carried out my threat to put her over my knee and given her the damn good spanking she deserves long ago.
Think yourself lucky I am feeling in an indulgent mood young lady!
:lol: :lol: :? Did I just type those words, I was sure I had only thought them :? :? lhk
Kat
