people who play without their partners knowledge

26 Oct 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
The Reason why I put this up was that you are right... not everyones circumstances are the same....and it isn't always a case of black or white....

That just about sums the whole thing up.
No two people have exactly the same set of circumstances, and yet the married people are more or less forced to try and explain or excuse their behaviour to the moral brigade. Why is that? It's none of their damn business is it? confused

If they come on here and tell everyone, they gat lambasted, if they try to hide it, they get called a liar. It's a no win situation, except to those who imagine they are on higher moral ground, in which case they feel they *justified* in harrassing a married member :?
A very well known and respected member of this site is a married person and has had sex with multiple other members on here. I daresay some of them will be along in a bit to say they would never swing with a married person as I have seen them do time and again . . . . . :dry:
On here, well known and respected seems to equal not being grilled about your (hidden) marital status :undecided:
Everyone is entitled to make a choice of whom they swing with. End of rolleyes

T-J

26 Oct 2005

Fabio;
if you were to meet someone, a single fem, would you ask her if she was married, and then if she was playing away without her husbands explicit knowledge? Would you ask if she had a boyfriend and if she was cheating on him?
If you were to meet a couple would you ask if she was married? To him? If not did her husband know and approve and could you just call him to check it was ok, because you can't expect someone who is cheating on their husband/wife/partner to tell you the truth now, can you?
What about if you meet a couple who say they are married, to each other. You gonna ask for a marriage certificate and photo ID to make sure they are not winding, because really they are married to different people on whom they are cheating?
Or do you just trust that people that you might meet are single?
Live and let live Fabio.
Chris (another 'C' word!)

26 Oct 2005

Quote by marmalaid
Fabio;
if you were to meet someone, a single fem, would you ask her if she was married, and then if she was playing away without her husbands explicit knowledge? Would you ask if she had a boyfriend and if she was cheating on him?
If you were to meet a couple would you ask if she was married? To him? If not did her husband know and approve and could you just call him to check it was ok, because you can't expect someone who is cheating on their husband/wife/partner to tell you the truth now, can you?
What about if you meet a couple who say they are married, to each other. You gonna ask for a marriage certificate and photo ID to make sure they are not winding, because really they are married to different people on whom they are cheating?
Or do you just trust that people that you might meet are single?
Live and let live Fabio.
Chris (another 'C' word!)

i do yes :twisted:
:lol2:

26 Oct 2005

Quote by berksbex
Yes, that's true, we all make our own choices. I know that I will probably get shot down here, :P but I actually like married men and donâ€™t mind if their wives donâ€™t know. If they have no problem in separating sex and love and play and commitment, then why should I worry? I feel that they are very different types of relationships. I have a busy life (and often complicated) and find that married men conveniently leave me alone when Iâ€™m busy, they donâ€™t suddenly announce they are in love with me and they donâ€™t try and stop me from playing around like I want to.

I couldn't agree more worship

Jon and I have swung with a couple of married guys and actually find them to be a lot more considerate than some singles and lets just say the fantastic sex with them has been every bit worth it. wink

T-J

26 Oct 2005

The last thing this i wanted this to do was turn into a "lets all attack the cheats" thread (that was the "C"word i mean dawn!!! smile

)
it was meant to be a geunine question and if it has been construed in any other way then i apologise for that....
If is going to turn in that direction then i'd rather have this locked, as it wasn't the intention....
sean xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

26 Oct 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
The last thing this i wanted this to do was turn into a "lets all attack the cheats" thread (that was the "C"word i mean dawn!!! )
it was meant to be a geunine question and if it has been construed in any other way then i apologise for that....
If is going to turn in that direction then i'd rather have this locked, as it wasn't the intention....
sean xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It seems to me that it has gone very much in the opposite direction to your expectations here Sean, no one's lambasted the cheats yet biggrin

26 Oct 2005

think the star hi-jackers got this one completely wrong
the letter C being thread of the week

26 Oct 2005

Quote by RedHot
A very well known and respected member of this site is a married person and has had sex with multiple other members on here.
T-J

Took the words right out of my mouth.
I know of one person (single male) who lambasts other males for "cheating" then will carry on with a female that is cheating on her husband/partner. Double standards me thinks.
If you look through most of the threads on this subject it is nearly always the male that gets it in the neck, and very realy the female doing the same thing :- "Cheating on Husband" once again a double standard by the Hollier than Though brigade.
Said me bit so I will shut my gob
phredd
got that in before the thread is locked lol

26 Oct 2005

Quote by berksbex
Yes, that's true, we all make our own choices. I know that I will probably get shot down here, :P but I actually like married men and don’t mind if their wives don’t know. If they have no problem in separating sex and love and play and commitment, then why should I worry? I feel that they are very different types of relationships. I have a busy life (and often complicated) and find that married men conveniently leave me alone when I’m busy, they don’t suddenly announce they are in love with me and they don’t try and stop me from playing around like I want to.

good considered point of view

26 Oct 2005

Quote by Fred aka Medic 1
If you look through most of the threads on this subject it is nearly always the male that gets it in the neck, and very realy the female doing the same thing :- "Cheating on Husband" once again a double standard by the Hollier than Though brigade.

Totally agree with you there :thumbup:
tho i have to admit i have turned down offers by 2 'single' bi fems in the past when i have found out they was cheating.

26 Oct 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
The last thing this i wanted this to do was turn into a "lets all attack the cheats" thread (that was the "C"word i mean dawn!!! )
it was meant to be a geunine question and if it has been construed in any other way then i apologise for that....
If is going to turn in that direction then i'd rather have this locked, as it wasn't the intention....
sean xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

it hasnt turned into an "attack the cheats" thread, and it doesnt look like its heading that
way either Sean. dunno

Who are we to judge what others do, who are we to condemn others for there actions?
We know little or nothing about other peoples lives, problems and reasons for doing what they do, so lets all be a little more accepting of others on here.

26 Oct 2005

Quote by Dino
The last thing this i wanted this to do was turn into a "lets all attack the cheats" thread (that was the "C"word i mean dawn!!! )
it was meant to be a geunine question and if it has been construed in any other way then i apologise for that....
If is going to turn in that direction then i'd rather have this locked, as it wasn't the intention....
sean xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

it hasnt turned into an "attack the cheats" thread, and it doesnt look like its heading that
way either Sean. dunno

Who are we to judge what others do, who are we to condemn others for there actions?
We know little or nothing about other peoples lives, problems and reasons for doing what they do, so lets all be a little more accepting of others on here.
Hear Hear!!!

26 Oct 2005

Quote by Alexandra
Fabio
I am not going to voice my opinion on the rights or wrongs.
Everyones circumstances are different - one should not sit in judgement.
You have no idea what their home life is like or why they decide to embark on this path.
You choose who you want to swing with - that is your life and your preroggative.
Likewise, anyone who wants to play away from home - their life, their decision. I am certain many do not take the decision lightly.
However this subject HAS been done to death!
It is always immotive as you well know - and ends up with a verbal bashing of many of the members on here - most who don't warrant it.
Even you yourself have posted comments related to Cheating (calling it the C word doesn't disguise what you are inferring) within the last few days. AS you also do on most threads relating to this subject which have come up over the last 18 months.
Starting a new thread seems pointless - just do a search on cheating and see how many threads relate to it. This is what we are forever saying to newbies - don't start a new thread when others exist! S
Just my opinions.....
Ok back to work for me....

I couldnt agree more :thumbup:

26 Oct 2005

think Dino put it best for me........
Have to accept people as they are and not try and push our moral judgement on to them.....I may not accept it as something I would do, but I can't go critising them for it, it's not my place too, nor anyone's else place.........I think anyhow confused

They're are too many unknowns about a person who maybe does this, we simply can't judge as we don't know enough about the situation...and frankly doesn't concern us....
we are all responsible for our own actions, not others :P
oooooh,. my first attempt in 400 odd at being serious!......must be getting the flu :shock:

26 Oct 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
I have deliberately not used the 'C' word in the thread

Was anyone else thinking Cunt or was it just me dunno

no it was just you
well i was kinda wondering.....and cunt did spring to mind.
with regard to people swinging behind their partners back,if that's what they want to do let them get on with it...couldn't give a fuck anymore :lol: ......but what pisses me off is they assume what they do is called swinging because they use a swinging site....but it is just plained old cheating at the end of the day now matter how you try to dress it up!

26 Oct 2005

Quote by da69ve
with regard to people swinging behind their partners back,if that's what they want to do let them get on with it...couldn't give a fuck anymore ......but what pisses me off is they assume what they do is called swinging because they use a swinging site....but it is just plained old cheating at the end of the day now matter how you try to dress it up!

i totally agree with that :thumbup:

26 Oct 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
I know, I wrote thet C word on the forum
Dawnie :giggle:

That's ok Dawnie.
If it's ok for our Lord, Master and Creator to do it, it's ok for you too wink

And again
Oh - sorry.
Back to the original point of the thread . . . . . . . .
:sleeping: :sleeping: :sleeping: :sleeping: :sleeping: :sleeping: :sleeping:
(That's sarcasm, in case you didn't spot it, Sean)

26 Oct 2005

Quote by da69ve
with regard to people swinging behind their partners back, .......... they assume what they do is called swinging because they use a swinging site....but it is just plained old cheating at the end of the day now matter how you try to dress it up!

Swinging seems to be a catch all term. There have beeen many threads asking "what is a swinger?" or "can singles swing?" The consensus (although not overwhelming) has been that if you regard yourself as a swinger then you are.
There are many people on this site who do not play, some who used to play but have now stopped, some who play very, very rarely and some who play regularly. Some are married and play together, some are single and play alone, some are in non-married long term relationships, some are single and have a fuck-buddy. The one thing they have in common, despite their very disparate natures ... on this site they are all entitled to call themselves swingers.
It appears that the only people that can't be classed as swingers are the MWPK (tm Alex 2005). They have to suffer the perjorative term "cheat". Go into most public places and choose a random stranger to ask an opinion on the morals of swingers. I would hazard a guess that it would not be 100% positive. We swingers, as defined above, are in society's eyes probably more perverted than someone who has an affair.
We do not own the moral high ground.

26 Oct 2005

OMG!!!! I have invented my own TM : MWPK
I feel my life now almost complete!!!!!!!
Maybe it should be MS:WPK though?????

26 Oct 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
Something sparked me enough in threads on LMU to ask this... And i hope that i have phrased it in such a way that i have tried to keep it as impartial as possible.....
Maybe it is me, but i see a lot more married people coming here without their partners knowledge and see it being justified in varous different ways in what they are looking for......
can i just ask you all a few question......I suppose it goes out to any of the men/women in this position..... just want to get a few answer just because it may help the rest of us think of it in different ways
so you see it as 'No Strings Attached' sex.......and that is fair enough for you......
would your partner see it as 'NSA' if they found out???
if they would be fine about it why have you not told them what you are doing?? after all isn't honesty the best policy......
if they would go ballistic then is the sex you get worth the pain that you potentially put them thru.....
If the shoe was on the other foot, how in a sense would you feel......
I have deliberately not used the 'C' word in the thread as i was trying to keep it as non-contenious as humanly possible......
sean xxxxxxxxxxx

groan!
where's the "Seach button is your friend" brigade when you need them!
rolleyes

"Holier Than Thou" is all I can say

26 Oct 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl

with regard to people swinging behind their partners back, .......... they assume what they do is called swinging because they use a swinging site....but it is just plained old cheating at the end of the day now matter how you try to dress it up!

Swinging seems to be a catch all term. There have beeen many threads asking "what is a swinger?" or "can singles swing?" The consensus (although not overwhelming) has been that if you regard yourself as a swinger then you are.
There are many people on this site who do not play, some who used to play but have now stopped, some who play very, very rarely and some who play regularly. Some are married and play together, some are single and play alone, some are in non-married long term relationships, some are single and have a fuck-buddy. The one thing they have in common, despite their very disparate natures ... on this site they are all entitled to call themselves swingers.
It appears that the only people that can't be classed as swingers are the MWPK (tm Alex 2005). They have to suffer the perjorative term "cheat". Go into most public places and choose a random stranger to ask an opinion on the morals of swingers. I would hazard a guess that it would not be 100% positive. We swingers, as defined above, are in society's eyes probably more perverted than someone who has an affair.
We do not own the moral high ground.
Your right.....people do need to know what swinging stands for.......but shouldn't honesty be part of it?
as people have said, people use this site for different reasons but it is mainly for NSA sex...now we don't know what is going on at home for some of these people but it doesn't paint a very good picture of swingers in general if cheating is brought up.
And not everyone has a sad story to tell of their private lives.....we just give the benefit of the doubt.

26 Oct 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl
Go into most public places and choose a random stranger to ask an opinion on the morals of swingers. I would hazard a guess that it would not be 100% positive. We swingers, as defined above, are in society's eyes probably more perverted than someone who has an affair.
We do not own the moral high ground.

Well said that man! (woman? couple? perverted swinger?) well said anyway
Can I just say northwest-cpl you are a very wise er... couple biggrin

26 Oct 2005

Some people will be against cheating and won't want to play with people who do cheat, others will turn a blind eye to it............ it is for all of us our own free choice, just as it is in all walks of life.
I do not believe that cheating is the way to solve problems in any relationship, (I have done it in the past, and wrecked a marriage because of it, I have also had it done to me... again ending in divorce), but I do realise that H and I could be in a situation (we already have actually) were we would play with others who are cheating. Ultimately we have to allow them to do what they feel is right, and not judge them for it.
Ultimately Alexandra is right, In life some people do and some don't that is all there is to it. I have always believed that it is futile to argue Politics or Religion, as we are all different, and all that will happen is that people will get upset and angry, maybe I should add cheating to my personal list as well..............
M

26 Oct 2005

As someone who is married I must admit I was a little aprehensive letting my wife know I had found this site. However, as I am just here to chat and get to know people it seems okay. My wife and I have now discussed swinging and although at present we won't be going there it may be an option to explore at a later date. For me, i have too much to lose by going behind my wife's back (balls etc :shock: lol

)
Whatever happens we will be together on this. mad

Now off to work out if I have beaten Mr notsoclean's no sex record- nowhere near 3 years though :lol:

26 Oct 2005

Quote by da69ve
Your right.....people do need to know what swinging stands for.......but shouldn't honesty be part of it?
as people have said, people use this site for different reasons but it is mainly for NSA sex...now we don't know what is going on at home for some of these people but it doesn't paint a very good picture of swingers in general if cheating is brought up.
And nit everyone has a sad story to tell of their private lives.....we just give the benefit of the doubt.

That doesn't explain why MWPK can't be swingers though.
I really can't see that Joe Public is going to give swingers brownie points just because we let other people play with our partners. Affairs are far more acceptable to society than swinging. I would guess that many, many members of the general public have had an affair, I doubt that anywhere near as many have swung. Tell them at work tomorrow that you are a swinger but it's ok because you don't play with cheating husbands (or wives), I'll let you go first. lol

As to benefit of the doubt, the history of these cheating threads is that there are a lot of people who have no intention of giving anyone any benefit of doubt. The moral ground is a mighty crowded place at times.

26 Oct 2005

I can't see the problem here, it's really quite simple. If anyone wants to meet us they need to be a married(to each other) couple able to provide a marriage certificate withtheir names on it, two recent utility bills, a drivers licence and another form of photographic i.d.
There it's simple innit, what's all the fuss about?? rolleyes

:roll:

26 Oct 2005

The thing is the thread was about if we would meet someone who we knew was cheating, personally as i have said i would not, but feel what others do is upto them, saying that i do not agree with people calling people who think like me things like the 'holier than thou' because i am not and nor is anyone else on this site we wouldn't be here if we was, i just believe swinging stands for honesty and respect for others and a cheater is neither of those, and theres no way you can dress it up to make them be, and if they can't be trusted to be honest and fair with their own partners how can i expect them to be respectful towards me? saying that if you are the kind of person who see's swinging purely as a shag and do not care who gets hurt along the way then go ahead and meet/be a cheater, i have many friends on this site who are married and cheating and i do not judge other for it i am more tham happy to be m8s, meet for a drink etc i just do not feel comfy having sex with someone knowing that it could end up, one day, breaking someones heart, that does not make me holier than thou it just means i care for others and not just me and what i can get.

26 Oct 2005

Quote by iain_nw
I can't see the problem here, it's really quite simple. If anyone wants to meet us they need to be a married(to each other) couple able to provide a marriage certificate with their names on it, two recent utility bills, a drivers licence and another form of photographic i.d.
There it's simple innit, what's all the fuss about?? :roll:

But what about travellers? Would a receipt for a bottle of calor gas be ok?

26 Oct 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl
I can't see the problem here, it's really quite simple. If anyone wants to meet us they need to be a married(to each other) couple able to provide a marriage certificate with their names on it, two recent utility bills, a drivers licence and another form of photographic i.d.
There it's simple innit, what's all the fuss about?? :roll:

But what about travellers? Would a receipt for a bottle of calor gas be ok?
Completely acceptable providing it has the registration of your vehicle on it and you have documentation to prove said vehicle is yours. smile

:)

26 Oct 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl

Your right.....people do need to know what swinging stands for.......but shouldn't honesty be part of it?
as people have said, people use this site for different reasons but it is mainly for NSA sex...now we don't know what is going on at home for some of these people but it doesn't paint a very good picture of swingers in general if cheating is brought up.
And nit everyone has a sad story to tell of their private lives.....we just give the benefit of the doubt.

That doesn't explain why MWPK can't be swingers though.
I really can't see that Joe Public is going to give swingers brownie points just because we let other people play with our partners. Affairs are far more acceptable to society than swinging. I would guess that many, many members of the general public have had an affair, I doubt that anywhere near as many have swung. Tell them at work tomorrow that you are a swinger but it's ok because you don't play with cheating husbands (or wives), I'll let you go first. lol

As to benefit of the doubt, the history of these cheating threads is that there are a lot of people who have no intention of giving anyone any benefit of doubt. The moral ground is a mighty crowded place at times.
Its a crazy world we live in......have an affair and its accepted!.......have sex with strangers(as thats what they would call it)....and you are frowned upon!.....but your not hurting anyone, as with affairs (cheating)...someone will always get hurt!
My wife and i went to a club a while back....we met a couple that we got on well with,they told us they were having an affair with each other without the knowledge of their partners, we were wary about what to do but they seemed like nice people so we didn't judge them.....to cut a long story short we decided to swing with them,while i was playing with the female without no reason she started to cry,at first i thought i had done something wrong but i now believe it was out of guilt that she was crying as not only was she having an affair but was swinging as well with other people and i think this overwelmed my wife and i decided not to allow ourselves to get in this sort of situation again and only swing with couples in relationships with each other.
MWPK.....Please tell me what it means? redface

......it's not in terminology!