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Photos are they really that important

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Hi all
Would just love to here views if photos are really that important. Because about a year ago, I was a member of another site, which will never measure up to this site. I received a reply to my ad from what seemed in the photo a very sexy lady, after a few emails and phone chats, we arranged a meet, well lets just say the photo never turned up. What replaced the photo was lets just say not for, me. Maybe im shallow but I do belive you need to find your partner attractive. What really gets me while lie, we are what we are can't change it. Like they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But please be true, not only to yourself but everybody.
Thankyou for taking your time to read this post.
Gottohaveit
Dishonesty is just about the biggest turn off I can think of.
I hope the lady in question will believe in herself in future and not feel the need to send out fake photographs.
I'm not a Greek God but I would never mislead someone to set up a meeting. Lies always come back to bite you in the bum so best just be upfront in the first place and hope people are being the same with you.
Thanks for the post Andy
The lady in question gave me a lot of abuse. Saying how shalow I was. But like I said to her you took all my options away when you lied.
I understand its not all about looks, but its not about bullshitting either.
I have to be attracted to the people I swing with and would hope they find me attractive too. I cannot imagine that anyone would be able to perform with someone they were not attracted too. I may be wrong of course but it's not for me!!
We insist on photo's and always send ours too. There is nothing wrong in saying thanks but no thanks. I have spoken to many people on this site who are lovely and we have a great relationship but I would not jump into the sack with them.
So yes Photo's are important.
Love
Wilma
x x x x
agree looks are important we are new to this and maybe moving on from curiousity but we have to be attracted to a person before it becomes intimate smile .
and also we have to like their personality(or have I got that bit wrong) confused
I'ts all very well being intimate with somebody only to have them go shouting their mouth of to all and sundry.
Discretion is the better part of valour :eeek:
I have had some trouble with photo's, mainly that people don't think it's me in the pic. I guess maybe they have had some experiences like yours gottohaveit biggrin In future i will send a photo of the ugliest person i can find, and when i turn up they will be pleasantly surprised (i hope) :shock:
I change my mind constantly about pics. Sometimes I insist on them and will not reply if someone doesn't send some. Other times I really don't care if they do or don't send pics. The times I do care is when I'm looking for something specific, like hairless or whatever. If someone sent a pic that obviously wasn't them when we met there is no way they would get any fun - but this has never happened to me yet!
As for sending pics of me to others. I only do this on request and will not send any ruder ones than are on my web site, so pic collectors don't get a look in. Funnily enough, people rarely ask for pics of me - either they're not interested in knowing what I look like or they're too scared to ask :twisted:
I see the point of pics but whats written is the secret to success
Thanks Blue and Karrie for post and funcple
I have met up before with no photos involved at all, although do get a rough description. I do tend to take things very slow tho. I don't find pics or looks essential (although would draw the line at a combover!). Personality is a must tho. If I can't have a laugh and chat then I wouldn't be comfortable in more intimate circumstances even if he was the most dashing guy ever. On the other hand, if he's the sort of guy that I would go for as a friend then would be right up for it, whatever his looks (excl. as mentioned before).
With pictures it is easy to pre-judge what that someone is going to be like, and dismiss them just for being a bit ordinary. Or the flip side, you could be more forgiving of a dodgy personality if they looked like a god/ess.
Just my thoughts, easy for me to think like that as, luckily, have not had a bad experience of meeting with no pictures. Ask me in a few months and could've changed my mind completely lol
You have to find the other person attractive, but that's a word with as many meanings as there are people. Everyone has their own individual idea about what makes someone attractive.
For Mr Gottohaveit (I'm assuming you're a mister - my apologies if I'm wrong), physical appearance is an important part of it. Fair enough. For me, it's a much smaller factor. I find a sense of fun to be more important. I'm not judging at all - we're different people and we value different things.
So whether or not photos are important depends on who you are, what you like, what mood you're in, and likely a host of others.
Now, just to show that my answers aren't always "it depends", and I can be decisive: if you send a photo of yourself to show what you look like, SEND A PHOTO OF YOURSELF. Blatant dishonesty like that isn't on.
My favourite saying is 'books, not covers'.
Quote by Jags
My favourite saying is 'books, not covers'.

The shortest post and the most perfect wording of what I was trying to think of to post.
You've saved the thread from a Carpathian ramble to simply say the same thing.
Carpathian
Quote by Jags
'books, not covers'

I have on occasion bought books because I liked the cover, but I always look inside to see what the writing is like.
In the case of the hardcover edition of Gould's Book of Fish, I would have bought it if it was written in Hungarian by a dyslexic five year old child. It's a joy just to look at it. (and the text doesn't let it down)
Quote by Carpathian
My favourite saying is 'books, not covers'.

The shortest post and the most perfect wording of what I was trying to think of to post.
You've saved the thread from a Carpathian ramble to simply say the same thing.
Carpathian
I like brevity - clarity and brevity is so exciting!!! x xx x
Quote by DJohn
'books, not covers'

I have on occasion bought books because I liked the cover, but I always look inside to see what the writing is like.
In the case of the hardcover edition of Gould's Book of Fish, I would have bought it if it was written in Hungarian by a dyslexic five year old child. It's a joy just to look at it. (and the text doesn't let it down)
Talking of Fish - don't forget your Sheep!!!
Talking of words - try 'Perfume' by Patrick Suskind.
Talking of books - you forgot your Sheep!!
x
Quote by Jags
I like brevity - clarity and brevity is so exciting!!! x xx x

Does that mean my "ramblings" (as they seem to have been christened on here) are not exactly de rigeur in the Jags post-style preferences ?
You could always just read one word from each paragraph - it may even make as much sense ! wink
Carpathian
Your ramblings are interesting, erudite and constantly grip my imagination.
It's like enjoying boiled potatoes one day and relishing roast potatoes the next - one is cooked quickly, tasty and satisfying and the other takes more time, is equally tasty and just as satisfying.
For everything there is a season...
x xx x
Quote by Jags
Your ramblings are interesting, erudite and constantly grip my imagination

Can I use that as a quote on the back of my first book jacket ? smile
Quote by Jags
It's like enjoying boiled potatoes one day and relishing roast potatoes the next - one is cooked quickly, tasty and satisfying and the other takes more time, is equally tasty and just as satisfying.
For everything there is a season...

I'd love to thank you for that but I'm not sure if I'd rather be boiled or roast !
I shall continue my one-man crusade against pocket-sized posts so I hope you'll continue to enjoy.....
Carpathian
Well i have my pic's on my web site and should we say that if people want more than A Hell Hound Bitch Hell, please do not look at my pics
Quote by curious_karrie
I have had some trouble with photo's, mainly that people don't think it's me in the pic. I guess maybe they have had some experiences like yours gottohaveit biggrin In future i will send a photo of the ugliest person i can find, and when i turn up they will be pleasantly surprised (i hope) :shock:

Theres a kinda rule in the bdsm scene, slightly more relevent than with swinging do to the nature of what people do while playing/scening. (1)
If someone says they are slim young and sexy and they turn out to be fat and old... walk away, they lied.
If someone says they are fat old and uggly and they turn out to be slim young and the sexyest person in the world... walk away, they lied.
Obviously tho sometimes photos can lie even when they are the same person, the main one being that sometimes they were taken years ago, if you've not changed much over the years except getting greyer then no problems, but if you used to be big or slim, and are now the oppersite... time to get a new photo.
Professionaly done photos can be excelent, but its always worth sending a more normal snap shot as well just to show you're not a rip off from a porn site, lol.
(1) with potentially a scene having restraint play, punishment play, and in extreem cases thinks like knife/needle play any kind of dishonesty should be a huge warning sign before getting into a potentially very damaging situation.
"Normal snaps" are much more fun than professional ones - well they are if you're the photographer :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
I can certainly agree with that!!!! lol
Terms are better as well!
Mal
wink
Ah yes, Mal - you're quite the budding photographer aren't you... you have skills you never previously realised :twisted: wink
I try. I Try lol
Mal
wink
Quote by bluexxx
"Normal snaps" are much more fun than professional ones - well they are if you're the photographer :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

I do both, and got to say... point n shoot while playing is a real buzz, and you get to enjoy the charms of the company you're with blast
Quote by piercedJon
I have had some trouble with photo's, mainly that people don't think it's me in the pic. I guess maybe they have had some experiences like yours gottohaveit biggrin In future i will send a photo of the ugliest person i can find, and when i turn up they will be pleasantly surprised (i hope) :shock:

Professionaly done photos can be excelent, but its always worth sending a more normal snap shot as well just to show you're not a rip off from a porn site, lol.
All i will say jon - its the pictures you took of me that I use. ........ and i do class yours as professional !!
Lucy rolleyes
I used to meet couples for threesomes back in the days before the internet became popular, via ads in Loot, the classified ads paper. We never exchanged photos at all before meeting up, and things went fine as often as not. I sometimes wish for those days to come back, as a lot of people seem to be so obsessed with seeing pics of people, some insisting on seeing pics before they will even chat online with someone. But there seems to be no way of avoiding playing the pics game now, although you simply cannot judge anyone from pics, as the sensible ones among us know.
MikeNorth.
Quote by lucyslovely
All i will say jon - its the pictures you took of me that I use. ........ and i do class yours as professional !!
Lucy rolleyes

Awwww bless you Lucy :rose: