How important is it allowed to be here? Because I`m beginning to feel like a traitor to the cause! When I think about swinging with someone, it takes a combination of things to spark my sexual interest, and this willinclude physical attraction. I just thank god that my taste is not fully centered around the `Western Ideal`, or I`d be screwed....or not as the case may be!
Looks are unimportant to me when making friends however, and I have some fantastic friends here who I`d love to shag.....except that thier physical makeup doesn`t float my boat at all, and I can`t get past that. Then I end up feeling like a heel.
Am I the only one?
Venusxxx
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Physical Attraction
Sex God
not the only one by far.
well ok...... as in i feel the same too lol.
the thought of playing with someone who did not hold any attraction for me in a physical sence makes me shudder, i just could not have sex with somene under those conditions...regardless of how much i liked them as a person.
then again i DO have to like them mentally too, i guess where as some people can settle for one or the other - i have to have both.
yeah i know... greedy as usual!
well ok...... as in i feel the same too lol.
the thought of playing with someone who did not hold any attraction for me in a physical sence makes me shudder, i just could not have sex with somene under those conditions...regardless of how much i liked them as a person.
then again i DO have to like them mentally too, i guess where as some people can settle for one or the other - i have to have both.
yeah i know... greedy as usual!
Quote by VenusnMars
When I think about swinging with someone, it takes a combination of things to spark my sexual interest, and this will include physical attraction.
I think I said this before somewhere - but before I could have sex with someone I would need to be attracted to them. For me "attraction" is a mixture of physical and mental. I couldn't even begin to try and analyse exactly what attracts me to a person, I just know that I am attracted to them. Some people I have met are drop dead gorgeous - but they do nothing for me. Others have just spoken and I have been attracted.
But yes - physical attraction certainly plays a part for me. And as I am drawn towards couples - I have to feel that attraction for both of them.
I`m much the same Rainbows.
Personality is something I won`t compromise on (ignoring the `stranger sex` stuff I`ve not explored nor want to get into here), but I do find that if a person`s personality clicks strongly with me, they begin to look more attractive as time goes on! I`ll start appreciating physical attributes I hadn`t previously noticed, but that does have it`s limits.
I think when it involves lovehowever, then that limit is non-existant.
Venusxxx
Personality is something I won`t compromise on (ignoring the `stranger sex` stuff I`ve not explored nor want to get into here), but I do find that if a person`s personality clicks strongly with me, they begin to look more attractive as time goes on! I`ll start appreciating physical attributes I hadn`t previously noticed, but that does have it`s limits.
I think when it involves lovehowever, then that limit is non-existant.
Venusxxx
Quote by Scandal
<Hijack alert>
Venus before you post anymore could you just change your av back to the one with the paper bag over your head? Mrs Crankie just don't alert me !
<Hijack over>
Sorry Scandal, I lost it! I could pinch one from my website again?
If not, you can find one for me! :mrgreen:
Venusxxx
Master of Sex
there definatly has to be some sort of physical attraction for me,the plane fact is if i dont fancy someone i er cant get it up 
ops:
i find it easier to make friends with females and most of my female friends are well shaggable but they are my friends so i would never put our friendships in jepody by making a move on them.
now if they made a move on me..................................................
:twisted: :twisted:
ops: i find it easier to make friends with females and most of my female friends are well shaggable but they are my friends so i would never put our friendships in jepody by making a move on them.
now if they made a move on me..................................................
:twisted: :twisted: 
Orgasminator
I agree with everything thats been said already, there has to be an attraction to have sex with someone, i was feeling a bit guilty for feeling that way but now i know it,s not just me
but now i know it,s not just me 
Orgasminator
Quote by satin
there definatly has to be some sort of physical attraction for me,the plane fact is if i dont fancy someone i er cant get it up
i find it easier to make friends with females and most of my female friends are well shaggable but they are my friends so i would never put our friendships in jepody by making a move on them.
now if they made a move on me..................................................
I know what you mean Satin, i'm the same, i couldnt shag someone, no matter how much of a friend they are if i'm not attracted to them.
Sex God
Quote by VenusnMars
Personality is something I won`t compromise on (ignoring the `stranger sex` stuff I`ve not explored nor want to get into here), but I do find that if a person`s personality clicks strongly with me, they begin to look more attractive as time goes on! I`ll start appreciating physical attributes I hadn`t previously noticed, but that does have it`s limits.
Venusxxx
can also work the other way round!
i have met many physically "stunning" people, but the more they speak to me.. the less attractive i find them!
For me men fall into the following cataories
1) The Fancy Them like Hell catagory. This group of men can have straw for brains as long as they have long hair, preerably tied in a poony tail
2) The Ones With Brains This catagory can look llike the back end of a bus, it dostn matter but it is a nice extra if they are a bit fanciable!! If the worst comes to the worst i can alwys close my eyes, in fact thinking about it i often do close my eyes!!!
Of course the whole of the male population dosnt fall into the above catagories there are also
catageories 3 and 4
3) Are men who are far, far too nice to shag, the type that become friends and nothing more
4) The totally ulck type, no bains and no llooks and absolutely no chance!!!
1) The Fancy Them like Hell catagory. This group of men can have straw for brains as long as they have long hair, preerably tied in a poony tail
2) The Ones With Brains This catagory can look llike the back end of a bus, it dostn matter but it is a nice extra if they are a bit fanciable!! If the worst comes to the worst i can alwys close my eyes, in fact thinking about it i often do close my eyes!!!
Of course the whole of the male population dosnt fall into the above catagories there are also
catageories 3 and 4
3) Are men who are far, far too nice to shag, the type that become friends and nothing more
4) The totally ulck type, no bains and no llooks and absolutely no chance!!!
Quote by well_busty_babe
can also work the other way round!
i have met many physically "stunning" people, but the more they speak to me.. the less attractive i find them!
Oh god, me too WBB. I`ve met some whose vanity surpasses any personality they have, which is one of my huge turn offs. I have other personality turn offs, not always ones which are `nasty` characteristics either, just traits which will obstruct a `meeting of the minds`.
Venusxxx
Quote by steve-shireen
We feel exactly the same Venus.........
Dont care whar someone looks like if we are gonna make friends but to shag someone there HAS to be a physical attraction as well as being able to get along socially..
Sorry if that makes us shallow but thats how it is...
Am in total agreement there !
I am soooooooooooo pleased this thread was started ............ I really thought I was the odd one out ...............
Lucy
Have to disagree a bit I think. When me and the Mrs go swinging we go for sex not really bothered that much about looks or be honest we don't even care if the people we are having sex with don't talk to us 
For us the attraction is between ourselves watching each other. Obviously we don't pick up with really minging kind of people but we are not choosey life is too short :lol: :lol: :lol:
For us the attraction is between ourselves watching each other. Obviously we don't pick up with really minging kind of people but we are not choosey life is too short :lol: :lol: :lol: hmm, looks like I buck the trend here
for me, yes there usually is some physical attraction, but being the wierd bugger I am, evev if they are emminently shaggable, if the personality isnt a match...
I could always use the paper bag to hide a face, but you cant ignore a personality.
Personality always comes first with me, I truly believe the old saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Maybe thats because I am a ugly git, but I like to think its because I dont like playing games with people and with me, well, what you see is what you get
for me, yes there usually is some physical attraction, but being the wierd bugger I am, evev if they are emminently shaggable, if the personality isnt a match...
I could always use the paper bag to hide a face, but you cant ignore a personality.
Personality always comes first with me, I truly believe the old saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Maybe thats because I am a ugly git, but I like to think its because I dont like playing games with people and with me, well, what you see is what you get
Sex God
Quote by seagull69
Have to disagree a bit I think. When me and the Mrs go swinging we go for sex not really bothered that much about looks or be honest we don't even care if the people we are having sex with don't talk to us
Haven't you just contradicted yourself there? You say that you're not bothered about looks or personality but then say you don't pick really minging kinds of people
How do you decide ?I think that attraction isn't always physical; it's how you 'click' with someone, whether they are 'ugly' or 'handsome'. I have to say though, that when I've looked at pics people have emailed to me before now (having not spoken to them, ie contact through ads), I've thought 'ewwwwwww'. However, what usually happens is that there's a bit of an exchange of words and details, conversation ensues and then often the person's looks don't really come into the equation. I know it's similar for Chris. We also accept that some people will, even after talking to us for a while, look at our pics and think 'yuk', but we don't lose any sleep over it.
Bev
xx
Sex God
I might pursue someone I find physically attractive more than someone I don't, but at the end of the day, no, I don;t have to find someone attractive to have sex with them. Some of the best sex I've had is with people whe were really quite ugly. In a club looks are irrelevant totally. If they're OK with me, I'll be OK with them hehehehehe.... clean and polite is all I ask. Meeting privately, yeah looks would matter more but the right attitude would be my first priority. Having said that, there are a few people I can think of (not on ths site I might add) who are sooooooooo ugly I really couldn't shag them however nice they were.
Yeah, yeah, beautiful people wil beautiful bodies are all well and good but it doesn't guarantee a good fuck at all..... the prettiest people are often good for eye candy only
Yeah, yeah, beautiful people wil beautiful bodies are all well and good but it doesn't guarantee a good fuck at all..... the prettiest people are often good for eye candy only
Surely it works both ways? For me, physical attraction is important, sure. Tthere are people I could not imagine doing it with under any circumstances. But equally, I can't do it with someone I don't like! Doesn't matter how drop dead gorgeous they are, they are a nasty person nothing can make up for that. And the more I like them the less important (but never unimportant) the physical side is.
As for feeling guilty: you are who you are! We can make marginal improvements but we can't change our basics and that's that. So don't feel guilty if you neither like or fancy me - I don't mind, and your taste is your own affair. But if you do either, then great and I'll buy the first round of drinks.
Just don't do what someone did once - met me after many years in a pub and told me she had the ranging hots for me BACK THEN! Not now, of course!
WW
As for feeling guilty: you are who you are! We can make marginal improvements but we can't change our basics and that's that. So don't feel guilty if you neither like or fancy me - I don't mind, and your taste is your own affair. But if you do either, then great and I'll buy the first round of drinks.
Just don't do what someone did once - met me after many years in a pub and told me she had the ranging hots for me BACK THEN! Not now, of course!
WW
I'm kind of with MQ.
I sometimes see some one and I think Wow she raises my interest and that is often enough but if there is something in the personality that I dislike then no amount of mutual interest will get me there.
and then I now people who I'm not attracted to physically but as i get to now them a Spark in there Eyes just does it for me and I wan't to jump them in the nicest possible way lol.
The one advantage of personality is you don't work up with the thought "just what was I thinking"
I sometimes see some one and I think Wow she raises my interest and that is often enough but if there is something in the personality that I dislike then no amount of mutual interest will get me there.
and then I now people who I'm not attracted to physically but as i get to now them a Spark in there Eyes just does it for me and I wan't to jump them in the nicest possible way lol.
The one advantage of personality is you don't work up with the thought "just what was I thinking"
Quote by freckledbird
Have to disagree a bit I think. When me and the Mrs go swinging we go for sex not really bothered that much about looks or be honest we don't even care if the people we are having sex with don't talk to us
Haven't you just contradicted yourself there? You say that you're not bothered about looks or personality but then say you don't pick really minging kinds of people
How do you decide ?I think that attraction isn't always physical; it's how you 'click' with someone, whether they are 'ugly' or 'handsome'. I have to say though, that when I've looked at pics people have emailed to me before now (having not spoken to them, ie contact through ads), I've thought 'ewwwwwww'. However, what usually happens is that there's a bit of an exchange of words and details, conversation ensues and then often the person's looks don't really come into the equation. I know it's similar for Chris. We also accept that some people will, even after talking to us for a while, look at our pics and think 'yuk', but we don't lose any sleep over it.
Bev
xx
Life is full of contradictions :lol: But some people are just beyond the pale :lol:
Sex God
If it's just looks that is shallow. I think most people's feeling about what makes someone shaggable is often attributed to looks but in fact it goes wider than that. I bet most people have said to themselves at sometime - 'I dunno what it is, but he/she plucks my string' well I think that can be for a number of reasons ranging from someone with a lot of power or fame to bit of an ugly bugger but he's got sexy earlobes.
Sex God
Unfortunately, my todger isn't equipped with an on/off switch - it's controlled by my brain and hormones and stuff. The upshot is, I am physically incapable of having sex with someone I do not find physically attractive.
No doubt there is something politically incorrect about this and the usual suspects will leap in and call me a whatever-ist or something ending with -phobe.
No doubt there is something politically incorrect about this and the usual suspects will leap in and call me a whatever-ist or something ending with -phobe.
Quote by Ice Pie
Unfortunately, my todger isn't equipped with an on/off switch - it's controlled by my brain and hormones and stuff. The upshot is, I am physically incapable of having sex with someone I do not find physically attractive.
No doubt there is something politically incorrect about this and the usual suspects will leap in and call me a whatever-ist or something ending with -phobe.
But are you capable of having sex with someone you cant abide? and no thats not an offer!!
Sex God
Quote by foxylady 123
Unfortunately, my todger isn't equipped with an on/off switch - it's controlled by my brain and hormones and stuff. The upshot is, I am physically incapable of having sex with someone I do not find physically attractive.
No doubt there is something politically incorrect about this and the usual suspects will leap in and call me a whatever-ist or something ending with -phobe.
But are you capable of having sex with someone you cant abide? and no thats not an offer!!
No. Physical attraction is only part of it, but it's just as essential for me as the other parts.
I'm not interested in playing with some one I don't find attractive. However people I find attractive don't generally fit the predictable ideals of good lookingness. I am attracted to people because they have a special way of looking at me, or something special, unusual. My dilemma is, I am often not attracted to people who peobably feel they are attractive (as I feel attractive but certianly don't expect people to be attracted to me). So what do you say? How can you really say you're not into it without causing offence?
Sex God
Quote by poniella
I'm not interested in playing with some one I don't find attractive. However people I find attractive don't generally fit the predictable ideals of good lookingness. I am attracted to people because they have a special way of looking at me, or something special, unusual. My dilemma is, I am often not attracted to people who peobably feel they are attractive (as I feel attractive but certianly don't expect people to be attracted to me). So what do you say? How can you really say you're not into it without causing offence?
I think all you can do is tell the truth and say you're just not attracted to them in that way. Most people will accept that they're not everyone's cup of tea.
