Pleasing people

7 Nov 2005

It occurred to me today that I seem to spend half my life doing stuff I REALLY don't want to do just to please other people, even people who really don't matter to me much.
I get myself into intensly stupid situations JUST because I don't want to upset others, trying to spare their feelings ... which results in m being too busy even to come to SH heaven to read the forum. Today was one of those lovely days when I had time to myself... feels great!
Now I've decided, to be more assertive, so next time someone asks me to do something I don't want to do I'll say... SORRY NO and if that doesn't work... i'll say... NO!!! NO!!! WHAT PART OF NO IS IT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND??
Do you think that'll work? Is it better to be brutally honest and upset others? Do you find yourself saying yes when you should be saying NO!?
smile

7 Nov 2005

I am forever committing myself to things because I hate letting people down.
I am learning - but I still find it hard to say no. (don't misunderstand that fellahs - I mean workwise).
If it's part of your character awol - it'll take a while to break out of it!

7 Nov 2005

Thank Alexandra and Steph... yes there will be more of "I'm busy sorry" from me biggrin

I'm involved with a couple of voluntary organisations and sometimes they need someone to do this or that and if it doesn't get done things will invariabley collapse. So I go yeah OK I'll do it. Then when I get home I think :doh: why the hell did I volunteer for that.... well they're next on the NO list evil

And as for the other ladies PMing me desperately to waste my time by giving me a blow job well sorry NO! I'm busy OK?
:twisted:

7 Nov 2005

I too get myself into situations because I don't want to hurt someone or let them down, just because I can't say no!
In the end it hurts those people I'm trying to protect more because at some point I'll crack and won't take it any more.
Some people know how to get round me and use that to their advantage, that isn't fair but now I can sometimes see when it's happening and stop it.
I'm still learning to "just say no" (wasn't that a song or something?!) and while I still hate to be blunt I know I have to be sometimes.
smile

7 Nov 2005

Quote by onlyme1981
I too get myself into situations because I don't want to hurt someone or let them down, just because I can't say no!
In the end it hurts those people I'm trying to protect more because at some point I'll crack and won't take it any more.
Some people know how to get round me and use that to their advantage, that isn't fair but now I can sometimes see when it's happening and stop it.
I'm still learning to "just say no" (wasn't that a song or something?!) and while I still hate to be blunt I know I have to be sometimes.

That's why you spent so long sitting on me lap in Plymouth!! :giggle:

7 Nov 2005

yep forever pleasing others - although i am a firm believer in you reap what you sow..

7 Nov 2005

Quote by westerross
I too get myself into situations because I don't want to hurt someone or let them down, just because I can't say no!
In the end it hurts those people I'm trying to protect more because at some point I'll crack and won't take it any more.
Some people know how to get round me and use that to their advantage, that isn't fair but now I can sometimes see when it's happening and stop it.
I'm still learning to "just say no" (wasn't that a song or something?!) and while I still hate to be blunt I know I have to be sometimes.

That's why you spent so long sitting on me lap in Plymouth!! :giggle:
lol

Well you know, I didn't want to say anything........
Bless ya! Your lap was very comfortable wink

7 Nov 2005

There are some people who I ALWAYS have difficulty saying "no" to. But that doesn#t mean I'm a push-over. It just means that some people have an effect on me that makes it difficult to say "no".
I don't resent it. Almost always these people make me feel good.
Mollie

7 Nov 2005

Can never say 'no'. Definate flaw in my chacter - need to be stronger and do what I want when I want and not beworried about missing out on things!!
Like lots of things its a lot easier to say than do!

7 Nov 2005

If most people do things for other people, does that mean that somepeople don't do anything for anyone?

7 Nov 2005

Quote by 34fun
yep forever pleasing others - although i am a firm believer in you reap what you sow..

We would all like to think that karma will come back! at least on the good parts :giggle:

7 Nov 2005

try being in the navy ive spent the last 6 yrs doing shit i hate

7 Nov 2005

I sometimes turn away business if a customer has a really unworkable idea. They eventually find out they were wrong and resent people taking advantage of them.