"Genuine" people. Where are they?

14 Feb 2005

Just because they don't reply does not mean they are not genuine. From our experience we get hundreds of emails every week.
After several months of trying to keep up with them all, we have now decided if someone sends us an email and they don't fit our criteria, we don't reply.
It's harsh but simple. Otherwise we would spend all our free time replying to emails instead of choosing those which we like and getting down to some real fun wink

Maybe you just don't fit the criteria they are after? dunno

Tracy-Jayne

14 Feb 2005

hi
we are very new to this sire ourselfes and just getting to grips with it.
we are a couple who decided to go for swinging a year ago so joined another site before this one, its took us that long to sort out the peeps who not serious or peeps pretending to be not what they are. we just had our first foursome smile

.
it was not just a quick email lets meet up for a quick f....
it takes time to get to know if they real or what they really after, what im saying is dont expect a quick responce from most peeps as we all have other comitments i.e , kids , shift work , so the times have to be right as well, work on chatting in the chat room or maybe privare chat to get to know each other first.
if we get a email from someone asking to meet up straight away we very weary as well.
we been on here now for a couple of months and the peeps are quite freindly and helpfull. so just stick with it ok
hey mods if this is boring just delete it :)

14 Feb 2005

Quote by Swindoncouple
Hi, we are a nice couple looking for fun. Since we've joined this site we emailed over 120 so called "Genuine" people. About half of them were single males pretending to be women or couples, the other half never even replied. How "genuine" are these people if they can't even reply with a simple "no, thanks"? I mean it's not that hard, is it?
What do you think?
Love,
Shelly & Chris

Firstly :welcome:
Secondly, we're here......genuine, couple, one male and one female.
Thirdly, you only joined today, so give us a chance......
:love:
Netsuke

14 Feb 2005

Quote by Swindoncouple
Hi, we are a nice couple looking for fun. Since we've joined this site we emailed over 120 so called "Genuine" people. About half of them were single males pretending to be women or couples, the other half never even replied. How "genuine" are these people if they can't even reply with a simple "no, thanks"? I mean it's not that hard, is it?
What do you think?
Love,
Shelly & Chris

*eeeek* :eeek: I'm a newbie myself (hello :smile2: ) - I hope that your first experience isn't the "norm". I'm a fairly cautious person - not 100% confident arranging a meet until I've mailed/spoken for a while and reading that makes me think I'll never get to arrange any meet at all!
Think we'll try a couple of Clubs first - I hope you find what you're after Shelly and Chris
Cal

14 Feb 2005

One thing I did not realise until someone pointed it out............is that if peeps give a "No thank you" reply then the other has got your e-mail address and can bombard you with lots of grief about why you never chose them. It could be their safety mechanism.
Welcome to the site and you will soon start to realise who the "Genuine" ones are.
Take care and have fun
Dave_Notts
ps no emoticons tonite as I can't be bothered

14 Feb 2005

Quote by Dave__Notts
One thing I did not realise until someone pointed it out............is that if peeps give a "No thank you" reply then the other has got your e-mail address and can bombard you with lots of grief about why you never chose them. It could be their safety mechanism.

indeed. kinda pointless setting up anonymous email on an ad, if a mere reply to say "no thanks" gives someone you don't know from adam your email subsequently!
i can assure you calico and swindoncouple, there are ***LOTS*** of the most genuine, friendly, open people you could ever hope to meet on this site, particularly on the forum. the ads are slightly different, cos that's where the occasional non-gen poster tends to pop up, but even so, 16000 members can't be wrong? ;)
have fun! biggrin

neil x x x ;)

14 Feb 2005

I am genuine 100% wink

but single biggrin

from London!!! lol

:lol: :lol:

14 Feb 2005

If you have only just sent the mails today then you have to give the people a chance to get their mail and reply to it too! Not all of us are online at the same time!

14 Feb 2005

I used to make a real effort to reply to every single PM that arrived in my inbox. I soon realised how long it was taking and thought... fuck this for a game of soldiers! I have a life. I now try and read all of them, answer the ones from people I know and try to do some of the others from time to time.

14 Feb 2005

Quote by JudyTV
According to your profile you have only joined the site today so no one knows who you are yet. You have to give it time, one day is hardly giving it time is it.

A joining date of today for the forums does not neccessarily mean that they haven't registered for the ads or chat room some time ago though. Active forum members are a small minority of the membership.

14 Feb 2005

Umm guys - just because they only posted today doesn't mean they haven't had an ad up for a while.
So Swindoncouple wave

hello and welcome to SH. I can assure you the cafe is the place to "hang out" if you're looking to meet a really great bunch of people.
As for non replies to your ad - yip - the others are right:-
1. Not everyone sends a "ta awfully, but no thanks" email becuase of the email thingie.
2. If you are replying to bi fem ads you do need to bear in mind that those with ads tend to get a lot of mail and it really is just impossible to reply to them all.
IMHO you are better off getting to know people in here (with a link to your ad if you want). We really are genuine I can assure you!
Rsxx :color:

14 Feb 2005

I'm not genuine, not in the slightest. lol

:lol: :lol:

14 Feb 2005

So far, when I read this post, 188 registered forum names have viewed this thread. If you had a reply from even half that number in response to your ad/email., you would have a very full inbox and it would take you quite some time to read and respond to every email/pm. That is why many people will not have answered you; even if you only copy and paste a 'thanks but no thanks' answer, it will be boring and I reckon you wouldn't get half way through before you got bored and gave up, deleting the remaining ones. confused

but I bet you consider yourself to be genuine, as do many people on the site. I'm not saying you aren't genuine either, but don't assume that we are all false or pretending to be somethiung we are not just because you've had no replies.
Just join in the chat on the forum, get to know people and get yourself known. try to get to a munch sometime, that's an excellent way to meet lots of people all in one go lol

You might want to consider putting your own ad. number in your signature, maybe people will have a look and respond to it biggrin

15 Feb 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl

According to your profile you have only joined the site today so no one knows who you are yet. You have to give it time, one day is hardly giving it time is it.

A joining date of today for the forums does not neccessarily mean that they haven't registered for the ads or chat room some time ago though. Active forum members are a small minority of the membership.
Well said hun biggrin

Sorry to the so-called regulars in here but we see this time and time again " Get yourself known in here, attend lots of munchies and then you might just be accepted" Bollox , sorry but as a swinging site, not all members have to join the "Forum Clique" or attend munchies. Its getting like, that unles you either do one or both, to many on here you are not a so called "Real, Genuine, Swinger. mad

15 Feb 2005

Quote by BiFemHants
Well said hun Sorry to the so-called regulars in here but we see this time and time again " Get yourself known in here, attend lots of munchies and then you might just be accepted" Bollox , sorry but as a swinging site, not all members have to join the "Forum Clique" or attend munchies. Its getting like, that unles you either do one or both, to many on here you are not a so called "Real, Genuine, Swinger.

Ooops sorry redface

I suppose when someone comes to the forum section to ask for advice or share a problem, then they are going to get advice about how it works for the audiance the thread is going to be read by....forum users
Of course nobody HAS to go to munches, or HAS to post in the forum, it just seems like good advice to us (the so called regulars) because it means we can get to know who is genuine and who isn`t before going any further and leaving ourselves open to the timewasters all too often complained about in here.
It works for us, so the approach is shared in good faith, but in future perhaps we should keep that advice to ourselves if it`s building yet another *yawn* division.
I suppose suggesting people could get to know people via the chatroom as well would be a swearword too? :uhoh:
Venusxxx

15 Feb 2005

Venus hun you only have to look back over very few of the so called "NewPosters" to see this. Even the "Hi i'm new" people get told the same thing time and time again .
But like you have quite rightly pointed out it IS an open forum and YES people can post more or less what they like in here (rules permiting) and yes because of the nature of the forum it obviously begs replies but ( and this is just our opinion) do we really need, or the new lot, see in every person who is new to the forum those same words of wisdom over and over again ?
We thought this was a site dedicated to all forms of "Swinging" The word "Site" inclusive of all what the site has to offer albeit the forum , the chat room and yes even the photo ads.

15 Feb 2005

Quote by BiFemHants

According to your profile you have only joined the site today so no one knows who you are yet. You have to give it time, one day is hardly giving it time is it.

A joining date of today for the forums does not neccessarily mean that they haven't registered for the ads or chat room some time ago though. Active forum members are a small minority of the membership.
Well said hun biggrin

Sorry to the so-called regulars in here but we see this time and time again " Get yourself known in here, attend lots of munchies and then you might just be accepted" Bollox , sorry but as a swinging site, not all members have to join the "Forum Clique" or attend munchies. Its getting like, that unles you either do one or both, to many , on here you are not a so called "Real, Genuine, Swinger. mad

A perfectly fair and reasonable viewpoint, you're right they don't need to be on the forum or go to munches to be a real, genuine swinger. Many people find success without these methods.
However, there's very little point in coming onto the forums to moan about lack of success, and whether people on the site are genuine, to those who find the bulk of their meets via munches or getting to know people via the forum because that'll be what is advised by the majority of forum members.
As has been pointed out active forum members are a small percentage of the site, but will tend to advise what has worked for them.
Unless of course your Blue who is a self declared fake lol

:lol: :lol:
Jas
XXX

15 Feb 2005

Quote by BiFemHants
We thought this was a site dedicated to all forms of "Swinging" The word "Site" inclusive of all what the site has to offer albeit the forum , the chat room and yes even the photo ads.

It is pet, it`s just that `clique` remarks begin to wear a bit thin when personally I try to give advice in good faith....especially to the newbies, who haven`t been in a position to read the same advice over and over again. Advice is also offered upon how to write a good ad, except it wasn`t needed in this case, and chatroom advice isn`t offered by me and I`m sure many others here because we don`t relate to it so well, not having used it so often.
If it helps, I can start including references to the chatroom when I welcome new members or offer advice when people ask for it?
It just seems a shame that in trying to help people to fit in, it seems to be reinforcing the idea of a clique.
Venusxxx

15 Feb 2005

Oh shut up Mark! I was trying to dismantle the idea of a clique, and look what you went and did! evil

Venusxxx

15 Feb 2005

Quote by Swindoncouple
Hi, we are a nice couple looking for fun. Since we've joined this site we emailed over 120 so called "Genuine" people. About half of them were single males pretending to be women or couples, the other half never even replied. How "genuine" are these people if they can't even reply with a simple "no, thanks"? I mean it's not that hard, is it?
What do you think?
Love,
Shelly & Chris

Surely the question was whether people who advertise are genuine, not "Should we use the forums to increase our success rate?" The fact that they e-mailed rather than pm-ed suggests that they were replying to adverts. If that is the case then suggesting that they get themselves known on the forums might be helpful advice but does not address their question - How "genuine" are these people?
There were 17559 registered users of the site a few minutes ago. There are only 321 users that have total posts of 100 or more. My meagre posts over the last 14 months put me at the giddy heights of 103rd in the all-time rankings. The forums work for a very small percentage of the SH membership, often for people who have a large amount of time to spend logged on. For those without the time to read threads and post replies, but still wish to pursue the internet route for meeting others, then the ads might be their only realistic route.
This brings us back to Swindoncouple's original query - How "genuine" are these people? This asked the forum viewers whether they thought the people who place ads are genuine. Telling people to join in the forums does not answer this question and, if they have limited access to the internet, is not particularly helpful.

15 Feb 2005

Quote by Mark
Anyways, this reminds me of NWMunch II. I was walking around with my badge on (courtesy Ice Pie) and occasionally people would actually bother to look at it. I'd be all smiles saying "hi", and trying to catch who they were. They'd be like, "Mark, who are you, don't recognise that Nick". I'd then be thinking, right, they said Nick, so they're from the chatroom, OK. "Well, I use the forum mainly, but nice to meet you.", "The forum? What's that?"

Hahaha, I dragged Mars over to say hi to you at the last one, cept it wasn`t you redface

. Looked just like you from a distance, so I went up to him, tapped him on the back, and broke into an `oh so friendly smile` and started to natter.....
Then the penny dropped.
Poor bloke probably thought I was some kind of nutter, he couldn`t get away from me fast enough! :shock:
Venusxxx

15 Feb 2005

if your still going fishing Judy, can i come along and hook my bait on your rod biggrin

15 Feb 2005

Quote by Mark
Hi, we are a nice couple looking for fun. Since we've joined this site we emailed over 120 so called "Genuine" people. About half of them were single males pretending to be women or couples, the other half never even replied. How "genuine" are these people if they can't even reply with a simple "no, thanks"? I mean it's not that hard, is it?
What do you think?
Love,
Shelly & Chris

Surely the question was whether people who advertise are genuine, not "Should we use the forums to increase our success rate?" The fact that they e-mailed rather than pm-ed suggests that they were replying to adverts. If that is the case then suggesting that they get themselves known on the forums might be helpful advice but does not address their question - How "genuine" are these people?
To me I saw nothing more than a rant at how many people were not 'genuine' on here, lack of courtesy, and most likely lack of success (certainly looking at their percentages).
I could pick out another partial sentence and change the focus if you like, but the overall sentiment I read was that - they weren't getting the success they desired/expected.
Maybe I was wrong, maybe others were too, but the (often rolled out) advice along the lines of, don't worry about the Photo Ads use the fourm instead, is hardly surprising - given the platform upon which they decided to air their grumble with their very first post, don't you think?
I agree with you that it was a rant about non-genuine people, but I don't think it was suggesting that forum members were the guilty parties. My view of it was someone frustrated with the ads system where there is no place to voice their frustration, so they used the forums to do this.
I still feel that looking at the numbers involved, the forums only work for a very small percentage of people. This is not a criticism of the forums but a statement of reality. The advice from people who find the forums a successful method of meeting is understandable, but is either not acted on or not appropriate for the person that was given the advice, because the numbers suggest that there definitely remains a small minority that use the forums regularly enough to be seen as regulars.

15 Feb 2005

Well - fluck me sideways!
Here's my revised attempt at being helpful and welcoming:-
1. How would I know if the people who post ads are genuine? I haven't met all of them yet! I can tell you that at least two couples are because i have met them. Statistically that wouldn't be much use would it.
2. I won't tell you that IMO you might want to hang around in the forums to get to know people because if I do I am going to be accused of being part of a clicque.
Facts of life guys: - most of the people on here will give friendly advice but IMO - if we are to be accused of being cliquey every time we do so why should we? And if we don't, what happens to those who come on after you asking for help. They might just find that no-one is prepared to offer any.

15 Feb 2005

I'm going to start the "fakes r us" clique. Anyone else want to join?
lol

15 Feb 2005

Can I please Blue?
I can verify you and you can return the favour if you wish :twisted: lol

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Jas
XXX

15 Feb 2005

I`ve been known to edit butt zits out on my photos..can I join?! :mrgreen:
Venusxxx

15 Feb 2005

As a looking for couples I must surely be a fake - so I think I qualify for the "fakes-r-us" clique!!! Count me in Blue lol

15 Feb 2005

Quote by bluexxx
I'm going to start the "fakes r us" clique. Anyone else want to join?

Can we join your clique Blue? Can we? Can we? Please :!: :bounce: :bounce: wink

Tracy-Jayne & Jon

15 Feb 2005

We have been to two munches now and hope to go to alot more,this is where you will find the genuine people as you put it.I 'm sure the ads do work but it's not easy to tell someone "sorry don't fancy you but thanks anyway" without it sounding easy solution is to just make no response at all.