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Rumour
Orgasminator
artificer wrote:-
You wouldn't happen to work for the Downing Street Press Office would you artificer?
:roll: :roll:
Harry0
______________________
Member of the good English Society.
Don't fret Sarge: it's rumoured among the rumour-mongers that the rumour is merely a rumour, and has no connection to the rumour it is rumoured you were referring to, in your post in the 'rumour' thread, about the rumour of rumours that it is rumoured you were worried about.-allegedly.
You wouldn't happen to work for the Downing Street Press Office would you artificer?
:roll: :roll: Harry0
______________________
Member of the good English Society.
Sex God
Sorry but this thread has really worried me. :shock:
At first I was worried by the rumours flying around. I was worried about their implications and what was behind them. Worried about whether to worry now or later, or be worried now about what might happen later. Then I was worried about whether everyone else was worried. I mean, I don't want to worry anyone!
Now it seems that there might be nothing to worry about. Or perhaps no-one is quite sure what we should be worrying about. And that really worries me!! :eeek:
Off for a lie down now. I need to conserve my strength and don't want to be suffering from nervous exhaustion!
At first I was worried by the rumours flying around. I was worried about their implications and what was behind them. Worried about whether to worry now or later, or be worried now about what might happen later. Then I was worried about whether everyone else was worried. I mean, I don't want to worry anyone!
Now it seems that there might be nothing to worry about. Or perhaps no-one is quite sure what we should be worrying about. And that really worries me!! :eeek:
Off for a lie down now. I need to conserve my strength and don't want to be suffering from nervous exhaustion!
Orgasminator
willxxx69 wrote:-
Just keep taking the pills Will. :crazy:
Harry0
________________________
Never worry, if somethings going to happen,
worrying won't stop it.
Sorry but this thread has really worried me.
At first I was worried by the rumours flying around. I was worried about their implications and what was behind them. Worried about whether to worry now or later, or be worried now about what might happen later. Then I was worried about whether everyone else was worried. I mean, I don't want to worry anyone!
Now it seems that there might be nothing to worry about. Or perhaps no-one is quite sure what we should be worrying about. And that really worries me!!
Just keep taking the pills Will. :crazy:
Harry0
________________________
Never worry, if somethings going to happen,
worrying won't stop it.
I believe he is going into therapy in Shropshire Harry0. We are confident of a complete recovery from the stress and anxiety associated with predicting the trends in worrying about unfounded rumour which may have a basis in fact and yet be unsubstantiated to the complete satisfaction of the government, Minister.
Sappho xxx
Sappho xxx
Quote by Sappho
You wouldn't happen to work for the Downing Street Press Office would you artificer?
Just don't call him Humphrey, Harry0.
Sappho xxx
Madam
If you are referring to that champion of Ministerial competency and excellence, as seen on the Television, then it is SIR Humphrey to you (we in the Department are certain that it will eventually be SAINT).
As for calling me, you can call me whatever you like as long as you call me -
1/ In normal office hours (please do not call
during lunch )
2/ Not during my 6weeks leave
3/ Preferably not during cricket Season (including selected winter
tours)
4/Not during Glyndebourne, Henley, Royal Ascot. or Wimbledon.
Please do not use upward intonation, 'estuary' English, or foreign languages e.g. Welsh, when speaking to us, as this can cause trauma to our staff. We are enlightened enough to allow an occasional refined Edinburgh accent, as long as it is not for any length of time.
I see that you are representing a Mr Bilko and a Mr O. Would you be so kind as to assure them that we have looked closely very our English standards of at and confident are that clearer we be could not. Would you also remind said 'gentlemen' that mimicry, ill placed humour and oblique insults aimed at our Department will in no way influence how we treat them. In fact ,I was discussing this with my colleagues at the Inland Revenue, DVLC, Army Pension Department and Department for funding Biological work in the North of England earlier today. I must say, they thought it a jolly jape, so jolly in fact that I saw them looking through the files of these joshing scallywags.
Finally, I notice that you represent some 'society' dedicating itself to playing in children's playgrounds, well, swinging at least. I had not heard of this bizarre activity, but then, I have little contact with groups at your social level. Thank you for alerting the Department to this. We have launched an immediate enquiry to see if this activity is legal, can be taxed and falls with relevant Health & Safety guidelines. It might increase your standing Miss Sappho, if you were to agree to demonstrating this activity to me so that a full assessment can be made. It would NOT be necessary for Mr Bilko or Mr O to be present. I would, on this one occasion, make myself available outside normal office hours.
Thank you for contacting my department
I'm sure that it will never be possible for you to do so again
I remain Madam
Your obsequient servant
Artificer D. Nide (again)
Under Secretary to the Secretary of Sate for Clear Speech and Public Relations.
Sex God
Quote by Sappho
I believe he is going into therapy in Shropshire
:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:
This could take a while!! A LONG while! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Wilma - get Fred back into the straight jacket and pink fluffy handcuffs.
Kit - dress Kat in the sussies and chain him to the bed again, and don't forget to send the piccies to bluexxx and Jags (oh, and Sappho!
).Alex - you distract gmanxxx.
I am about to go into deep cover in Shropshire and the first person to mount a rescue mission is a dead man!!! I will have Sappho's Kalashnikov and I am not afraid to use it.
Orgasminator
Artificer D. Nide (again)
Under Secretary to the Secretary of Sate for Clear Speech and Public Relations. Wrote:- to sappho
Minister, I'm not particularly worried about you seeking my file for investigation by your staff. It's probably been put in the defunct section based on my date of birth, on the grounds that no one born on that date could possibly be still alive. However if you do manage to locate it, could you please respond to my letter of 1st April 1953 asking your department for a Grant Application for financial aid in carrying out biological surveys in darkest Northumberland. A prompt reply to this application would be appreciated.
Dearest sappho,
Take heart fair lady, if a Ministerial Investigation into 'Swinging' takes place, it will only be started after a Ministerial Enquiry has been set up, Then there will be the various Sub Committee's to be appointed as well as the Sub, Sub Committees. Eventually after many years a report will be published. H.M Opposition will then demand a Public Enquiry to be headed by some old retired fuddy duddy Law Lord. When his report is published it will be greeted with cries of "Whitewash" and several further enquiries will have to be held to enquire into the enquiry of the report.
Bye this time, you and I will probably be long gone along with all the other members of Swinging Heaven.
I would not try to explain to the Minister what 'Swinging' is. It is well known that all political figures as well as the heads of the Civil Service are 'Clones' Why do you think they want to ban 'Human Cloning'
So just Carry on Swinging, :swingingchair: Mmmmm thats a title Pinewood Studio's missed.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Harry0
_____________________
The oldest swinger in any town.
Under Secretary to the Secretary of Sate for Clear Speech and Public Relations. Wrote:- to sappho
I see that you are representing a Mr Bilko and a Mr O. Would you be so kind as to assure them that we have looked closely very our English standards of at and confident are that clearer we be could not. Would you also remind said 'gentlemen' that mimicry, ill placed humour and oblique insults aimed at our Department will in no way influence how we treat them. In fact ,I was discussing this with my colleagues at the Inland Revenue, DVLC, Army Pension Department and Department for funding Biological work in the North of England earlier today. I must say, they thought it a jolly jape, so jolly in fact that I saw them looking through the files of these joshing scallywags.
Minister, I'm not particularly worried about you seeking my file for investigation by your staff. It's probably been put in the defunct section based on my date of birth, on the grounds that no one born on that date could possibly be still alive. However if you do manage to locate it, could you please respond to my letter of 1st April 1953 asking your department for a Grant Application for financial aid in carrying out biological surveys in darkest Northumberland. A prompt reply to this application would be appreciated.
Finally, I notice that you represent some 'society' dedicating itself to playing in children's playgrounds, well, swinging at least. I had not heard of this bizarre activity, but then, I have little contact with groups at your social level. Thank you for alerting the Department to this. We have launched an immediate enquiry to see if this activity is legal, can be taxed and falls with relevant Health & Safety guidelines. It might increase your standing Miss Sappho, if you were to agree to demonstrating this activity to me so that a full assessment can be made. It would NOT be necessary for Mr Bilko or Mr O to be present. I would, on this one occasion, make myself available outside normal office hours.
Dearest sappho,
Take heart fair lady, if a Ministerial Investigation into 'Swinging' takes place, it will only be started after a Ministerial Enquiry has been set up, Then there will be the various Sub Committee's to be appointed as well as the Sub, Sub Committees. Eventually after many years a report will be published. H.M Opposition will then demand a Public Enquiry to be headed by some old retired fuddy duddy Law Lord. When his report is published it will be greeted with cries of "Whitewash" and several further enquiries will have to be held to enquire into the enquiry of the report.
Bye this time, you and I will probably be long gone along with all the other members of Swinging Heaven.
I would not try to explain to the Minister what 'Swinging' is. It is well known that all political figures as well as the heads of the Civil Service are 'Clones' Why do you think they want to ban 'Human Cloning'
So just Carry on Swinging, :swingingchair: Mmmmm thats a title Pinewood Studio's missed.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:Harry0
_____________________
The oldest swinger in any town.
Sex God
Quote by SapphoBloody hell, she's off again!
Sappho who swings and salsas sensually in specs xxx
Where's me vitamins? :shock:I wonder if we can get help from Alliteration Anonymous. Shit, just thought! :eeek: Can you imagine what their literature might be like?
*shudder* I'd be in intensive care after the first page!!
Talking of intensive care........that M6 is beckoning!!! Off for some therapy! :happy:
*Thinks - we could do with a 'cold shower' emoticon*
ops: :oops: 