Shhhh! Doing my best sarge, and I think I am making progress.
As for gaining intelligence though. Not sure about that. In fact I think I am becoming a gibbering wreck!!
There is a threat to expose me on Saturday!! :shock:
Something to do with SNOG. Seriously Needed Ongoing Groping.
Sarge,
I shall make contact with our field agent Blue, and discuss the best approach to "going undercover", this will entail some probing and in-depth research, however, have faith in your Intelligence Services in providing the detailed briefs that you require.
There haven't been any identified plots to expose our other undercover agent Will, I have briefed both T.I.T. AND F.I.S.T. to alert me should anything be uncovered.
I have also been informed by our Minister of Intelligence, Sappho, that the head of the Pleasurist Group is infact PoshnBecks. The intelligence report you have just thrust upon my desk concerns me a great deal. I have spoken to the P.M. who has guaranteed me that the highly skilled members of our elite fighting force, the S.A.S. (Sexual Arousal Squad) will be placed on standby, and will rise to the occasion should a situation occur. I trust this level of support will assist you in providing adequate protection to the NW Munch.
This could become a real sticky situation !!
Sarge i have just acquired from Iraq some spores of mixamatosis to wipe out the hole rabbit i do this guys like me will be employable again.
Gentlemen,
I have grave news. There is indeed a plot to uncover Willxx69 at the munch, however, by undertaking his protection personally I can guarantee that any expose will be kept strictly private. In the meantime and during the munch all facilities offered by TIT, FIST and the SAS at my command will be at his immediate disposal.
May I commend our diligent team - Sgt Bilko, Head of Security; Brumlad, Intelligence Officer, and new recruit The_Tongue for their attention to the most intimate detail during this state of national emergency.
I feel it may be an ongoing battle with the Pleasurist Group, and we may be overwhelmed by force of numbers, but we will screw our courage to the sticking post and shall never go down without asking first.
Sappho
Minister for Intelligence, Secretary of the Swinging Heaven WI (HRT) and Munch Guest Frisker
Goes off to look for the telephone number for the News of the World - surely they'd be interested in an expose??
:shock:
I hope that Brumlad was not carrying any sensitve information at the time of his damage could be caused to us if he Bilko is suggest that you instigate an investigation immediately and deploy men wherever neccessary.
I would also like to know how the training of our SBS section is progressing (stockings,bras and suspenders) and when will they be ready for deployment?
Sgt,
Southern Forces can confirm that all threats are being considered at the highest level. Unfortunately though the Ministry of Defence have set up a staff officers commitee to so ordinate things. Members of the comittee are unfortunately:
General Disorder
Major Disaster
Major Calamity
Major Cockup
They have set up a HEADquarters in Whitehall
Not the best officers I know but any help is better than none. They report that there may be a lot of S.E.X ( South Eastern Xtremists ) at the NW Munch.
They do have concern with your plan to place a tap on phones as unless properly fitted there may be a leak!
Regarding Rabbits they are willing to put at your disposal a squadron of Ferrets and a company of Wombats, not sure how much help the wombats will be but they discharge with a hell of a bang!
Am willing to operate in any role you may wish but as an ex sapper am expert in blowing things up and pulling things down
What an excellent first post!!! Congratulations Anthony (a codename I take it). Glad to see some reinforcements here in the South East.
Great to have you on board. Let me know if you find out anything else of interest.
'bye for now.
*dives back undercover*
im an ex sapper too sarge.I was a cl diving instructor(clit licking).I have a wide range of skills that can be utilized by the team.
Am not sure about covering the rear Sgt unless you have plenty of WRENS( Wriggling Rear Ends Near Soldiers )
Re Bridge Sgt.
I think it will have to be a suspender bridge.
Will have to tweak all the ladies suspenders to check for strength but am, willing to volunteer. Will check for any concealed rabbits whilst I am about it. We sappers are famous for multi tasking
" Right now ladies, line up and lift those skirts "
I'm undercover - can't see Doberman - can see much from this position in fact. Are you sure I'm meant to be on my knees???
Fred - you can take off all the clothes you want, I've got the pink fluffy handcuffs at the ready. Or should I say, handcuffs, fluffy, pink, one pair of, for the handcuffing of infiltrating officers?
x xx
Intelligence Service Memo
Sarge, Sappho,
I can confirm Will's previous memo regarding rampant wild rabbits, I found myself lost deep within Pleasurist Lines, hence the radio silence. I can tell you this, the scene is very grim indeed. I discovered a secret stash of ARSE (Additional Rabbit Supply Equipment), this is not just any other power supply device for the WMO Rabbit, infact, it's much worse than that, it's EverReady Batteries, these damned Rabbit's will go on, and on, and on, and on........ I urge the Minister for Intelligence to review ORGASM's initial application for approval to use the WMO Rabbit following this recent development. The use of these EverReady devices seriously jeopardises the effectiveness of the male species, and more importantly, the skills of the_tongues regiment.
It is of most importance that the members of SBS are trained and ready to deploy at the munch, I discovered secret plans detailing Pleasurist Activites which will include a higher than normal use of Stockings, Bra's and Suspenders at the NW Munch. There are signs that even the dreaded double clasp weapon might be used, requiring highly trained individuals to work singled handed to diffuse the problem.
It is my belief, and that of TIT and FIST, that we instigate the_tongues deployment as soon as the SAS and SBS have stormed the munch, the pleasurists will not know what's hit them.
I am now ready for my de-briefing with our Minister for Intelligence, and will pass on any relevant details aferwards.
Prepare yourselves for our operations tomorrow, as it's going to be very hard, very demanding, hot, sweaty work, but we're the team to do it.
Am STILL undercover - well, at least under MY covers! Does that count? Can't see anyone in here with me but not been issued with my night-sights? Where's that SQMS when you need him???
, Hi Sappho 
)?
), I will not feel safe until I have reached the North West. I am clearly in an exposed situation down here :shock: .
:roll: :!: 
