I think I would need to think twice, then maybe some more on just how strong your friendship is. Should this go pearship, you will almost certainly be in danger of losing your friend.
Snowhawk
Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.
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Serious advice needed on how to set up a MFM with a friend
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Warming the Bed
Quote by NW30'scouple
To recap – we simply wanted advice from people who had successfully had a mfm with a friend – we weren’t looking for advice on the pros and cons of it all. We established what we both are happy with re swinging a long time ago and we really don’t need that sort of advice. Maybe we should have been clearer in the first post.
I can understand the comments about my friend’s gf but she’s not a permanent fixture and you’d have to know him to fully understand the situation.
If we asked him outright and he wasn’t interested, it wouldn’t ruin our friendship at all – he’d probably be fascinated in what we do but politely decline. It’s just that we’d rather he didn’t know that we’re swingers if he isn’t interested, that’s all. Not that we’re ashamed of it, just that we’d rather keep it a total secret.
The fact my gf fancies him is fine – that’s what having an mfm is all about and in fact wouldn’t work without it. Total rubbish to suggest it’s a problem. Why would she leave me for him and not any of the other guy’s we’ve had mfms with? It’s purely recreational sex, whoever it’s with.
Any other comments from people who've had successful mfms with a friend and how they've acheived it, would be very welcome.
OK, so I've not been there, although I've been on the receiving end of the mates shagging in the same room as me. No, it didn't make me want to join in, before you asked. It just felt toe-curlingly embarrassing lying there listening to the noises and pretending to be asleep. I didn't fancy either him or his g/f, and you still have yet to say whether this friend of yours even fancies your other half. Your g/f might be fine with his looks, but no offence to her here, but she might not be his idea of fanciable.
If you want to keep it a total secret, why are you dropping such huge hints to this guy? Why not just say "We'd like to, would you?" and get it over with?
What you've suggested is going to make your mate think twice about things once he realises that you're using machinations to get him into a situation you want, but isn't necessarily what he wants. If someone did this to me and manouvred me into a situation like this, I would run away. Fast. Even if it would have been something I might have contemplated under other circumstances.
Honesty is the best policy: Ask him straight out if he's interested. Better: Get your other half to do it, because women can be better at these things.
Hi
Thanks to all the posters.
We are meeting our friend this Saturday night
and had considered taking him to a swingers club in the Birmingham area to break the ice but unfortunately there are very few and they don’t allow single guys on a Saturday night. That’s disappointing because we’d be attending as three people, not a single guy in the true sense but we have to accept the club rules.
Anyway we are sharing a room with two double beds and are hoping to have fun with him without having to ask him outright to join us. My girlfriend would particularly like for him to join us spontaneously while we are having sex and we’re still looking for ideas.
My girlfriend thinks she may get him on the subject of sex tell him that her fantasy is to have two guys. We honestly think that the time we shared a room in Manchester, he didn’t get the hint that we wanted a threesome and suspect he held back because of fear of rejection, which must be high for a guy asking a couple for a threesome when not knowing of their sexual preferences.
She’s also suggested dancing with him, which could be very sexy.
The other idea we had was for me to give my girlfriend a massage in the hotel after our night out – she has a back problem, so that’s a good excuse for her to get semi undressed and we could take it from there.
We also thought of watching the porn movie in the hotel room and seeing what happened.
We don’t want to end up in bed separately, start having sex and then having to call across to the next bed to invite him and then feel uncomfortable if he says no, so it’s important that we have a rough idea of how to tell him we’re interested in him.
Any constructive advice about how to approach this would be welcomed.
We’ll be happy to post our results on the forum on Sunday night!
Thanks to all the posters.
We are meeting our friend this Saturday night
and had considered taking him to a swingers club in the Birmingham area to break the ice but unfortunately there are very few and they don’t allow single guys on a Saturday night. That’s disappointing because we’d be attending as three people, not a single guy in the true sense but we have to accept the club rules.
Anyway we are sharing a room with two double beds and are hoping to have fun with him without having to ask him outright to join us. My girlfriend would particularly like for him to join us spontaneously while we are having sex and we’re still looking for ideas.
My girlfriend thinks she may get him on the subject of sex tell him that her fantasy is to have two guys. We honestly think that the time we shared a room in Manchester, he didn’t get the hint that we wanted a threesome and suspect he held back because of fear of rejection, which must be high for a guy asking a couple for a threesome when not knowing of their sexual preferences.
She’s also suggested dancing with him, which could be very sexy.
The other idea we had was for me to give my girlfriend a massage in the hotel after our night out – she has a back problem, so that’s a good excuse for her to get semi undressed and we could take it from there.
We also thought of watching the porn movie in the hotel room and seeing what happened.
We don’t want to end up in bed separately, start having sex and then having to call across to the next bed to invite him and then feel uncomfortable if he says no, so it’s important that we have a rough idea of how to tell him we’re interested in him.
Any constructive advice about how to approach this would be welcomed.
We’ll be happy to post our results on the forum on Sunday night!
Sex God
Quote by NW30'scouple
Hi
Thanks to all the posters.
We are meeting our friend this Saturday night
and had considered taking him to a swingers club in the Birmingham area to break the ice but unfortunately there are very few and they don’t allow single guys on a Saturday night. That’s disappointing because we’d be attending as three people, not a single guy in the true sense but we have to accept the club rules.
Anyway we are sharing a room with two double beds and are hoping to have fun with him without having to ask him outright to join us. My girlfriend would particularly like for him to join us spontaneously while we are having sex and we’re still looking for ideas.
My girlfriend thinks she may get him on the subject of sex tell him that her fantasy is to have two guys. We honestly think that the time we shared a room in Manchester, he didn’t get the hint that we wanted a threesome and suspect he held back because of fear of rejection, which must be high for a guy asking a couple for a threesome when not knowing of their sexual preferences.
She’s also suggested dancing with him, which could be very sexy.
The other idea we had was for me to give my girlfriend a massage in the hotel after our night out – she has a back problem, so that’s a good excuse for her to get semi undressed and we could take it from there.
We also thought of watching the porn movie in the hotel room and seeing what happened.
We don’t want to end up in bed separately, start having sex and then having to call across to the next bed to invite him and then feel uncomfortable if he says no, so it’s important that we have a rough idea of how to tell him we’re interested in him.
Any constructive advice about how to approach this would be welcomed.
We’ll be happy to post our results on the forum on Sunday night!
I think you've probably had all the constructive advice you're likely to get now and you don't seem to have taken much notice, to be honest.
I doubt many will be interested in your 'results' either.
It's not exactly a kiss and tell site, is it? 
Sex God
Fascinating thread. But a thought floats to the surface - a lot of the original posts sound like a "I write about my fantasies cos it turns me on" kind of thing. Just a thought.
Me? I'm too lazy to write that much even if it does do it for me
Me? I'm too lazy to write that much even if it does do it for me
I have yet to experiance the wonders of joining a couple (not for want of trying so why it keeps coming up that there are no decent single guys on here is bafferling)
But if it were done in the manner you are suggesting I think it would damage my friendship with them, I would feel that I was going behind my mates back. If it was a true spontaneous act then possible it would be different, but friendship means more to me that a shag I nearly crossed that line once but she remains my bestest female friend and I know it would have killed it.
But if it were done in the manner you are suggesting I think it would damage my friendship with them, I would feel that I was going behind my mates back. If it was a true spontaneous act then possible it would be different, but friendship means more to me that a shag I nearly crossed that line once but she remains my bestest female friend and I know it would have killed it.
Look - we're not looking for comments on whether people think we are doing the right thing or not.
People seem to posting comments voicing their opinions on the morality of what we're doing and that's not what we asked for.
We're interested in hearing from people who have successfully had fun with a friend and to pass on tips of how to achieve it nothing more than that, so please lay off with the negativity and making comments that are off-topic.
People seem to posting comments voicing their opinions on the morality of what we're doing and that's not what we asked for.
We're interested in hearing from people who have successfully had fun with a friend and to pass on tips of how to achieve it nothing more than that, so please lay off with the negativity and making comments that are off-topic.
Sex God
Quote by NW30'scouple
Look - we're not looking for comments on whether people think we are doing the right thing or not.
how dare they think a request for help entitles them to an opinion? whaddasettatwats!
:P ;)One of the biggest problems is that there are so many bi or bi-curious guys that advertise on here and there is no way of avoiding them through the search process for adverts.
and your problem is? it's dead easy to avoid 'em? don't click owt with a bi or bi-curious tagline, and just ask the guys who say they're straight . . . 'are you bi?' ;) they're usually pretty honest, but if they're abject liars, you can always trap 'em with a vague reference to your willy? ;)
The other problem is the married guys who can only meet during the day.
alarm bells ringing at that? just ask 'em 'can you only meet when the missus is out?' job's a good 'un?
as for your self-confessed excuses you couldn't make it? :?
to encapsulate the last few paragraphs, in the bluntest possible way . . .
you fucked in front of your mate when you were all pissed, and he ended up having a wank, when he was pissed, getting off on watching you shag? and cos you don't like his missus all that much, you're happy to help him out? but you're basically trying to manipulate him, and engineer a stuation to your own advantage? :?
are you sure that's a good basis for a threesome, or have i just read you all wrong? :?
wouldn't touch anything you've said with a barge-pole mate?
neil x x x ;)
Sex God
Quote by neilinleeds
Look - we're not looking for comments on whether people think we are doing the right thing or not.
how dare they think a request for help entitles them to an opinion? whaddasettatwats!
:P ;)One of the biggest problems is that there are so many bi or bi-curious guys that advertise on here and there is no way of avoiding them through the search process for adverts.
and your problem is? it's dead easy to avoid 'em? don't click owt with a bi or bi-curious tagline, and just ask the guys who say they're straight . . . 'are you bi?' ;) they're usually pretty honest, but if they're abject liars, you can always trap 'em with a vague reference to your willy? ;)
The other problem is the married guys who can only meet during the day.
alarm bells ringing at that? just ask 'em 'can you only meet when the missus is out?' job's a good 'un?
as for your self-confessed excuses you couldn't make it? :?
to encapsulate the last few paragraphs, in the bluntest possible way . . .
you fucked in front of your mate when you were all pissed, and he ended up having a wank, when he was pissed, getting off on watching you shag? and cos you don't like his missus all that much, you're happy to help him out? but you're basically trying to manipulate him, and engineer a stuation to your own advantage? :?
are you sure that's a good basis for a threesome, or have i just read you all wrong? :?
wouldn't touch anything you've said with a barge-pole mate?
neil x x x ;)
Well I'd say that pretty much sums up what everyone else has said Neil - well done
Sex God
Quote by TLF1416
My immediate thoughts on this/gut reaction.
This is a recipe for disaster with you potentially losing your oldest friend, losing your wife/partner as she clearly fancies him and what about the oldest friend's new lady, doesn't she have some say in this? Never mind all the lies and deceit just to get him to play along. Keep looking through the ads, there are some lovely non bi single guys out there, trust me
Good luck :thumbup:
Sorry maybe its just me but, why is he in danger of losing is wife/partner just because she fancies him, i thought that there was supposed to be some sort of attraction to do anything with someone else anyway, wouldnt have thought that that would have been an issue if your relationship is strong enough and you are open then wouldnt have thought it would have been a problem.
the entire post, and its follow ups, reek of deception? on any number of levels? soon as you introduce deception into a relationship, even if it's just engineering a deliberate set-up, so a bessie mate who's obviously bang up fer it can shag yer missus, you have problems?
even if his missus never needs to know? *taps nose, winks conspiritorially* fall-out from that kinda scenario might will affect all four of 'em? :? that's my take on the whole 'hell in a hand-basket' kinda thing anyways? ;) absolute recipe for disaster! if you need to ask the advice of strangers, and then back-pedal trying to clarify and justify, you ain't got it clear in your own mind, IMO, and it's just all so much second guessing and playing at empathy? :dunno:
neil x x x ;)
Sex God
Quote by NW30'scouple
Look - we're not looking for comments on whether people think we are doing the right thing or not.
People seem to posting comments voicing their opinions on the morality of what we're doing and that's not what we asked for.
We're interested in hearing from people who have successfully had fun with a friend and to pass on tips of how to achieve it nothing more than that, so please lay off with the negativity and making comments that are off-topic.
Hey I've read through this thread and i think that it's been jumped on mercilessly and without being polite in the way some have answered you.
I personally will take this as genuine and really hope that you have a great time with your friend on Saturday night. If you have a relationship with your good friend like I have with one of mine - yes bringing up the subject would be embarassing but my friends reaction would be ok of that i have no doubt.
Me? If I was your friend then I would be flattered that you asked me too play. Whether i participated or not I would have no problems with continuing the relationship.
Hey tell me how it goes will you i'm interested if you dont want to post (and who would blame you) mail me. I will at least be nice replying to you.
Mr Lost
Sex God
Quote by Lost
We're interested in hearing from people who have successfully had fun with a friend and to pass on tips of how to achieve it nothing more than that, so please lay off with the negativity and making comments that are off-topic.
I personally will take this as genuine and really hope that you have a great time with your friend on Saturday night. If you have a relationship with your good friend like I have with one of mine - yes bringing up the subject would be embarassing but my friends reaction would be ok of that i have no doubt.
Thread title: Serious advice needed on how to set up a MFM with a friend.
Through everything that NW30's has said, is the notion that his friend does not know. His friend is being set up. NW30's is asking for advice on how to deceive his friend (and his friend's partner by omission).
If this were just a 'how do I organise/arrange a threesome with my friend?' that would be entirely different and quite probably would have given rise to a far more favourable response in terms of advice. It's the deceit that's key in this.
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
We're interested in hearing from people who have successfully had fun with a friend and to pass on tips of how to achieve it nothing more than that, so please lay off with the negativity and making comments that are off-topic.
I personally will take this as genuine and really hope that you have a great time with your friend on Saturday night. If you have a relationship with your good friend like I have with one of mine - yes bringing up the subject would be embarassing but my friends reaction would be ok of that i have no doubt.
Thread title: Serious advice needed on how to set up a MFM with a friend.
Through everything that NW30's has said, is the notion that his friend does not know. His friend is being set up. NW30's is asking for advice on how to deceive his friend (and his friend's partner by omission).
If this were just a 'how do I organise/arrange a threesome with my friend?' that would be entirely different and quite probably would have given rise to a far more favourable response in terms of advice. It's the deceit that's key in this.
Is There deceit which is intentional here
I just happen to think that some of the replies are terse and impoliteMaybe the intention in the title referred to 'setting up' not in a nefarious manner. Maybe just maybe it means. Lets set up, as in satting up a lunchdate or a time aside ffrom other things. I like to look on the positve side and think that NW30'scouple are good honest swingers with good intentions.
Now im just going to set up a meeting with some friends of ours. We've been promising to do lunch for ages.
Quote by Lost
Is There deceit which is intentional here
I can only assume that you haven't actually read the first post in the thread. If booking a hotel room for 2 lads only to spring the girlfriend on him at the last minute isn't deceitful then I don't know what is.
As for advice ... we played with friends many years ago, well before we knew what swinging was. We didn't particularly engineer it, but the net result was that after the event we were 2 friends short. If you want to do it, then just do it, why make a big scene out of it.
Sex God
Quote by northwest-cpl
Is There deceit which is intentional here
I can only assume that you haven't actually read the first post in the thread. If booking a hotel room for 2 lads only to spring the girlfriend on him at the last minute isn't deceitful then I don't know what is.
As for advice ... we played with friends many years ago, well before we knew what swinging was. We didn't particularly engineer it, but the net result was that after the event we were 2 friends short. If you want to do it, then just do it, why make a big scene out of it.
yeah I see what you mean re:- deceit. Though i dont think in any way that NW30 meant any harm or nastiness to come from it just maybe they know there friend and how there friend would/will react? We can all be deceiful in some ways to engineer something to happen to our, or someone elses advantage.
Surprise birthdays are an example for instance. Or saying to your children that your going out to the pub or for a meal. Knowing that within a few hours your going to be steaming it up in a hot (hopefully)good sex session with a couple you met through a sex site?
I personally agree with you as to your suggestion that if they want do it just do it.. I still however feel that NW30 was jumped all over!
Sex God
Quote by Lost
I personally agree with you as to your suggestion that if they want do it just do it.. I still however feel that NW30 was jumped all over!
He asked for advice/opinions. He got them. He said thanks for the ones he liked the sound of (Puggz). He's been 'jumped all over' because he's planning to set up a 'friend'. If a bloke came on here wanting to arrange something for his partner for a surprise, without her knowledge, he'd get exactly the same response.
Plus the fact that they are supposedly experienced swingers so why the need for advice on how to set it up if it's anything other than deceitful. They've all been in the same room before and 'friend' didn't take the hint - quite possibly because he's not interested and wants to remain faithful to his partner, who NW30's want to deceive by keeping her out of the loop.
Sex God
Quote by Lost
.
Though i dont think in any way that NW30 meant any harm or nastiness to come from it just maybe they know there friend and how there friend would/will react?
So there's no harm in deceiving his mate's girlfriend?
If they know how he will react, they don't need to be asking us, they need to be asking him.
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
I personally agree with you as to your suggestion that if they want do it just do it.. I still however feel that NW30 was jumped all over!
He asked for advice/opinions. He got them. He said thanks for the ones he liked the sound of (Puggz). He's been 'jumped all over' because he's planning to set up a 'friend'. If a bloke came on here wanting to arrange something for his partner for a surprise, without her knowledge, he'd get exactly the same response.
Plus the fact that they are supposedly experienced swingers so why the need for advice on how to set it up if it's anything other than deceitful. They've all been in the same room before and 'friend' didn't take the hint - quite possibly because he's not interested and wants to remain faithful to his partner, who NW30's want to deceive by keeping her out of the loop.
I still believe that some of the responses were lacking politeness, coming across as very terse and in turn rude. The man was asking for an opinion/discussion not a bollocking.
I agree with you Freckledbird, it's the deceit that's just not nice. If a friend of mine tried setting me up in this way then I wouldn't be happy and I'm quite sure it would have an effect on our friendship - would I be able to trust them again??? On the other hand if they were honest and open with me then I would be able to make an informed decision and make up my own mind.
i understand the concerns and agree with those who have said its unfair to set up your mate.
the other reasons, other than moral ones, why i dont think its a good idea is
a, if it back fires in that he realises it was a intentional set up it may ruin your friendship, and the fact you want what you do kept quiet, could be shot to feck. he may storm out and tell everyone why yove fallen out.
b, if your partner dances etc with him to encourage him he may just think shes tring to cheet on you and feel really arkward.
c, if he doesnt find out or give a damm about the set up and goes for it where does that leave his g/f? surely this will be no different to you getting involved with a married guy off here?
and if she finds out shes not going to give a damm about blowing your secret.
i would be clear and say now that gf will be there and you have both spoke in detail about inviting him to join you in a 3 sum. is he intrested? if he says no, dont push him to explain why. that could run the friendship.
i wont give you any moral outcomes as your aware your getting involved with a guy who is prepared to cheet, dont be shocked if he cheets you.
x fem
the other reasons, other than moral ones, why i dont think its a good idea is
a, if it back fires in that he realises it was a intentional set up it may ruin your friendship, and the fact you want what you do kept quiet, could be shot to feck. he may storm out and tell everyone why yove fallen out.
b, if your partner dances etc with him to encourage him he may just think shes tring to cheet on you and feel really arkward.
c, if he doesnt find out or give a damm about the set up and goes for it where does that leave his g/f? surely this will be no different to you getting involved with a married guy off here?
and if she finds out shes not going to give a damm about blowing your secret.
i would be clear and say now that gf will be there and you have both spoke in detail about inviting him to join you in a 3 sum. is he intrested? if he says no, dont push him to explain why. that could run the friendship.
i wont give you any moral outcomes as your aware your getting involved with a guy who is prepared to cheet, dont be shocked if he cheets you.
x fem
Sex God
Really glad it all turned out good for you 
. Only dissapointment to me is that you - barebacked WTF?? are you mad!
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
. Only dissapointment to me is that you - barebacked WTF?? are you mad!:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Sex God
Quote by Lost
Really glad it all turned out good for you
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Now now, he didn't ask for a bollocking!
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
Really glad it all turned out good for you
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Now now, he didn't ask for a bollocking!
