We as a couple have no illusions about swinging. we know the emotional risks and have seen the toll it can take in others. come on who doesn't know of someone in their swinging social circles who hasn't been fucked up by it. I just hope that taking the risks into account that we both wont have recourse to regret what we do. I realise that I have had wobbly moments once or twice thinking "what the fu*k are we doing" but its been short lived and the wobble unfounded.
Any negative impact our swinging has I must admit to not seeing in ourselves and the only thing I hate is lying to my kids about where we're going and what we're doing and with who. Talk about honesty in swinging that's the last thing most of us are. We are all a bunch of lying gits, other than maybe the few people brave enough to out themselves publicly.
However, the positives impact is apparent to both of in the respect that we get sexual gratification albeit to a lesser or greater degree on most of our meets. We get varied sex and varied experiences from each encounter. A few good friendships have been formed which are more open than friendships of a more vanilla kind ever can be. Its quite easy for J to say to a mate met through swing "jaw aches today i bj'd th guy with a massive cock too long". Not a thing you ay to your mate from work in most cases. Or for me too say how much i enjoyed watching J get f*cked with a strap on.
undoubtedly those of low self esteem can find some skin deep reassurance within Swingland and in itself that's not so bad but its when maybe it gets to detaching yourself from it that it gets difficult. Swing ostensibly is about NSA sex and initially that should be uppermost in peoples wants and expectations other stuff can come from it but that's down the line and should at the start be a secondary feature.
Ramble ramble ramble
I do not believe in sex addiction. Personally I find it is a term that is used allot in the US to justify poor choices, used to justify infidelity, and for unscrupulous business to make money off of something that does not exist. Also I believe it is a great term for talk shows and the evening news to do a show about it in order to drive viewers to their show during "sweeps" week. By driving viewers to their show during "sweeps" week the show can charge more to advertisers.
Aye brucie and the main characteristics of the people you meet in your local pub will fit the criteria for an alcohol addiction or dependency.
Sex dependency, there ya go a new term for those who have lots of gratuitous sex but manage to keep their lives running ok.
we hear about sex addition, mainly involving celebrities.
but what do they actually have to do to become unaddicted?
pills? injections? psychiatric treatment? slapping their bollocks with a nettle?
Ive said it before brucie, I think your posts would be improved by the absence of gratuitous personal comments. But I digress.
I wasn't dismissing sex addiction. What I was trying to say is that there is a spectrum of sexual activity that encompasses a range similar to that of alcohol consumption. At one end are the folks who never touch a drop(shag) at the other are the folk who simply cannot get enough. I genuinely believe the processes used to determine alcohol addiction and dependence could be easily transferred to sex.
The reasons for any sort of addiction are infinitely complex and go way beyond barrack room pychologising.
In terms of treating sex addiction I imagine its like any other addiction. The activity is a choice and folk can choose not to do it as much as they used to.
Sex addiction, sure it exists in the same form as any addiction.
1: Have sex
2: Get high from sex
3: Need to repeat high from sex
4: Seek more sex
5: Have more sex or variations of sexual activity to maintain the high
I guess like most things some people get addicted to a sexual high easily and others dont.
Very basic but sure you all get the idea.
This is how its cured by the way
Yeah I think he's got something spiky strapped to his cock. A bit like that murdering monk in The Da Vinci Code.
Bound to mess up his swing at the tee off.
we are addicted to this site.
I mean could you at this moment walk away and never look at it again?
Thanks for your open honest post Fun. I am sure there are many (Minx included) who can relate to the situation you describe.
lol neither does she.
And it is good to share, particularly when the experiences of others help.
I have to lie to people all the time about what we do and our reasons for going out. As I said, I dont like it much but needs must.
Our weekend hobby (well mostly weekends) also means that I am spending Saturday evenings getting ready to go out instead of sitting with my children watching X-Factor or whatever crap happens to be on the TV. Such a bad mother!!
well you enjoy every second of it i know we did
:?
