Well I'm screwed!!!!
I'm married and have a young son (aahhh). My wife sleeps with my son because he won't sleep on his own. I sleep by myself. I actually get to make love to my wife about 10 times a year if I'm lucky. No I'm not joking, I'm serious. :cry: I think I've married a woman that just doesn't like sex (even though when I try to talk about this problem she says she does! How do you get out of that one?)
Also, she doesn't like wearing lingerie (there! I can spell it!!). In fact she NEVER wears lingerie. She never wears stockings or suspenders or skirts (short or otherwise) or sexy bras or anything that "normal" girls/women (my perception anyway) like to wear for themselves or their partner.
I came across this site by chance. I am fascinated and hugely jealous about the fun you lot seem to be having. I was looking at the posts on this forum with a view to seeking advice about my problem and whether it was "okay" to seek NSA sexual gratification elsewhere, yet still remain married and be in love with my wife. Judging by the way you lot ripped into some of the people asking similar questions on here (UKDAVE or someone with that username!!!) I guess the answer is NO. You're all going to say things like "Honesty is the best policy" and "Always be open about your relationships" etc etc. Having read your "advice" to DAVE and others, I reckon I couldn't live with the guilt if I did try meeting someone. So I'll just feck off and have a thoroughly miserable poxy sex life! Do I really have to take matters into my own right hand for the rest of my born natural. Why aren't all girls absolute sexpots with their husbands?
Thanks for reading.
Oh, if you do feel the need to post a reply (there is no need, really, because I'm only airing my frustrations) try not to be too abusive because it doesn't help matters.
Cheers and happy swinging, extra marital affairs (that you're not letting on about) and NSA sex with other people.
Gareth - is this a cry for help ... judging only by your explicit username and helpfully provided location ?
As I failed this test myself I should offer only emphathy and no clue! Certainly doing your share and more may help, as may putting your own desires to the background, making more effort romantically etc.. Or maybe not - you'll know better than anyone else on here (unless your wife is on SH as well!). It takes two to tango. Still at least it sounds like you know just how effective cheating will be at solving your problem and you didn't need telling. You're right though, it's out there if you really want it (a case of 'be careful what you wish for' ?).
LazeeBoy's advice looks like a better place to start and I would have tried that tack myself if she'd been willing.
Good luck.
PS Might be an idea to crack this before any more kids come along, if you were planning any that is!
My ex-husband had the same problem as you - his wife.
I suffered terrible Post Natal Depression and hid it. From him, from me.. everyone. What showed was my lack of interest in sex - unheard of for me, as well as other things. But the sex thing was the biggie.
He couldn't cope when I started to get better. Started living again... he had grown used to the quiet little woman who stayed at home and when I got my life back, he hated it. Got jealous (I was totally vanilla, back then, BTW) of everything I did. Every colleague of mine, girlfriends, the works.
Eh, I left him.
Good luck, Gareth.. these are trying times.
A good rant does help but its never a cure . Honest , truthfull talking is the best and most possitive way of dealing with any problem . And please please listen to your wifes pionts too , its as much about her issues as yours , I hope youve found some helpfull advice on here and things improve for you both . Oh,, and welcome to the site . Dino
To those ladies being critical here, I couldn't see a reference as to how old the young son was. It seems to me that if he's one or two then the ladies comments may well be an accurate assessment, but if he's five or six then something else's happening in this marriage.
The Gent says he's getting sex about 10 times a year, this suggests an on-going situation and not a post natal spat.
I don't have children so I won't offer advice where they are involved. What I would say though is don't let it go on. Seek to change it or be prepared to leave. From personal experience let me say that if you leave things when you are young and believe somehow that they will get better you are unlikely to be right. The prejudices and habits that we start can easily grow to become a way of life that can make both parties unhappy. I do know. Now my wife and I are parting in late middle age because it's finally broken out, like a long dormant boil that's suddenly been lanced, at a point where almost 30 years of our lives have just drifted away in some kind of non life. Hard to describe.
I'm not suggesting you desert them, but I am suggesting you must make a stand, do not accept bad habits or you will live to regret it.
Maybe a holiday, a change of scene in unusual circumstances may allow you to break this chain of events in a non confrontational way.
I remember having to spend 3 weeks sleeping next to our daughter when she was teething because thats the only way she would kids will settle on their own youve just gotta stick to may take a while but when youve got that sorted then your wife might actually start to feel sexy again and be able to get out of "Mum" Mode a bit more not surprised she doesnt wear lingerie would you if you went sleeping next to your child???
I definately think Blue`s suggestion of taking shifts with the kid is a great idea, and it`s Valentine`s day soon. How about you try to get someone to have the kid overnight, buy her some lingerie....nice feminine stuff, not black plastic `fuck me` gear covered in chains, or even a nice just a feminine outfit, something classy? Wine and dine her, and make her feel like the sensual lady she could be. Let her forget she`s a mum for one night! Tip. Don`t try to shag her on the same night, she will likely appreciate the gesture a whole lot more if you don`t.
Venusxxx
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oh and dieting isnt really compulsory here is it. I am trying .................................................... 