Sexual Accidents?

21 Jul 2005

ok when an old friend was at uni in manchester. he met a girl in the student bar and they both got a bit lashed and went off back to hers for sex. so they were going at it when she then pulled out an old ruff looking rope with knotts on it from under her pillow and wanted to stick it up his bum, ok he thought i,ll go with it.
so she started to wank him off and said to him when you about to cum tell me, which he did and she yanked the rope out so hard and fast all his body funtions went and he shat all over the bed pmsl. dying of embarassment he didnt know where to put his face. oh dont be embarassed she said while smearing the poo onto her tits :shock: .
he didnt know if to be shocked at himself or her, but he told his brother in confidance of his ordeal and like every good trusting brother proceeded to tell the whole pub that night.
when he came back to leic on his break and came in for a drink. everyone that was there gave him hell lol

21 Jul 2005

Hehe very funny! lol

Ahhh I remember a certain night with a new bf about a year ago, had just got back from clubbing and and we were going to go to bed (seperately!)
.... but decided to get a hot drink before bed time...horlicks as matter of fact!..ooo sexy lol :S
but yes anyway to get to the point after progressing from the sofa to the floor he was just in the final throes of passion about to finish and then... one hard push (he was 6ft6!) and he knocked his head on the table and we both got SOAKED in horlicks. :shock: .. how about that for a way of losing your virginity... lol. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Claire xxx

21 Jul 2005

Quote by Miss-Red
ok when an old friend was at uni in manchester. he met a girl in the student bar and they both got a bit lashed and went off back to hers for sex. so they were going at it when she then pulled out an old ruff looking rope with knotts on it from under her pillow and wanted to stick it up his bum, ok he thought i,ll go with it.
so she started to wank him off and said to him when you about to cum tell me, which he did and she yanked the rope out so hard and fast all his body funtions went and he shat all over the bed pmsl. dying of embarassment he didnt know where to put his face. oh dont be embarassed she said while smearing the poo onto her tits :shock: .
he didnt know if to be shocked at himself or her, but he told his brother in confidance of his ordeal and like every good trusting brother proceeded to tell the whole pub that night.
when he came back to leic on his break and came in for a drink. everyone that was there gave him hell

the girl in question wasnt You was it
used the "an old friend" one myself before

21 Jul 2005

Quote by shead
ok when an old friend was at uni in manchester. he met a girl in the student bar and they both got a bit lashed and went off back to hers for sex. so they were going at it when she then pulled out an old ruff looking rope with knotts on it from under her pillow and wanted to stick it up his bum, ok he thought i,ll go with it.
so she started to wank him off and said to him when you about to cum tell me, which he did and she yanked the rope out so hard and fast all his body funtions went and he shat all over the bed pmsl. dying of embarassment he didnt know where to put his face. oh dont be embarassed she said while smearing the poo onto her tits :shock: .
he didnt know if to be shocked at himself or her, but he told his brother in confidance of his ordeal and like every good trusting brother proceeded to tell the whole pub that night.
when he came back to leic on his break and came in for a drink. everyone that was there gave him hell

the girl in question wasnt You was it
used the "an old friend" one myself before
no i dont live in mancs and i only use hot pokers :twisted:

21 Jul 2005

ewww the rope thing sounds like a primitive form of anal beads!
How embarassing :shock:

21 Jul 2005

i had a accident before sex!!!things were getting all heated and steamy and colin thought he'd do his frieman bit(as i lurve firemen!!) he flug me over his sholder dropped me and i split my head open on a lamp!!!!
rolleyes

did we go at it afterwards?? hmmm i think not!!!!!

21 Jul 2005

hi all
i have a accident 2 confess 2,in my much younger years i was having a bloody good roll around when the girl i was with fell off the bed with me still in her, well she landed on the top of her head and knocked herself out.
so there i was al;most there with a girl hanging of the bed not breathing.i must admit 4 that split second i was tempted 2 finish but decentcy got the better off me
eventually she came round lol
we didnt c each other much after that

21 Jul 2005

awwwww thx everyone - you make both of us feel much less pathetic! biggrin

Cheers!

23 Jul 2005

Well when I was 21 I was in Denmark with work. I was seeing a very nice young lady who worked for the Danish department doing the same job that I did for the Scottish Office ( I will NOT say any more .... well ask me at the scottish munch lolol ). She was giving me one helluva blow job when she choked , coughed and BIT........ put a hole right thru my foreskin...........after much screaming , wailing and running around with a towel wrapped around my knob we got dressed and she drove me to the hospital... needed 2 stiches but the foreskin didn't heal , got infected , foreskin shrunk ( couldn't pull it back over my glands ) and I had to have a circumcision.
And the bastard of a "surgeon" cut off to much skin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went from 7" down to just over 6"................. BUGGA.........
Still must admit that the extra hardness and thickness now means that i've not had many complaints ( only one and that was because she was 5ft tall , small build and I was a bit too wide youch !! ).
Davie ( still cringes to this day remembering this lol ) :shock: :shock: :shock:

23 Jul 2005

Quote by Miss-Red
ok when an old friend was at uni in manchester. he met a girl in the student bar and they both got a bit lashed and went off back to hers for sex. so they were going at it when she then pulled out an old ruff looking rope with knotts on it from under her pillow and wanted to stick it up his bum, ok he thought i,ll go with it.
so she started to wank him off and said to him when you about to cum tell me, which he did and she yanked the rope out so hard and fast all his body funtions went and he shat all over the bed pmsl. dying of embarassment he didnt know where to put his face. oh dont be embarassed she said while smearing the poo onto her tits :shock: .
he didnt know if to be shocked at himself or her, but he told his brother in confidance of his ordeal and like every good trusting brother proceeded to tell the whole pub that night.
when he came back to leic on his break and came in for a drink. everyone that was there gave him hell

Strange, when I heard htis story ten years ago it was a fresher from Cardiff Uni who got pulled by a student nurse from UWCM (the college of medicine had separate digs and bars with ridiculously cheap beer. They were reknowned for extreme drunkenness and depravity).

23 Jul 2005

I think the nearest I came to a sexual accident was seeing Kit washing the dishes one day, and deciding to go and have a quick grope of her tits from behind.
I was about 2 steps away, and just raising my hands into position, when she turned round, and I realised it was my Mother-in-Law :shock: :shock:
I confessed all to Kit, who had a good laugh, then went and told her Mum! redface

ops: who also had a good laugh!
lhk
Kat

23 Jul 2005

Quote by KitKat
I think the nearest I came to a sexual accident was seeing Kit washing the dishes one day, and deciding to go and have a quick grope of her tits from behind.
I was about 2 steps away, and just raising my hands into position, when she turned round, and I realised it was my Mother-in-Law :shock: :shock:
I confessed all to Kit, who had a good laugh, then went and told her Mum! ops: who also had a good laugh!
lhk
Kat

OMG :eeek: :eeek:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

23 Jul 2005

Once during one of our passionate sex sessions. Dino was going south :rascal: my knees came up north. Which resulted in me breaking dinos nose :eeek: Sex session ended

:banghead:
I would like to say this was a one off coffee

but afraid it happened again confused

:?
But i sure kissed him better kiss

23 Jul 2005

Had to add this!
Just sitting here, minding my own business...
penis fell out of the buttons in my boxers....
casually came erect without really noticing...
looked down eventually and saw what was happening, tried to dislodge it....
THE DAMN THING WAS STUCK IN THE GAP!!! :shock: :shock:
The most bizarre cock ring of all time! :shock: Finally had the sense to undo one of the buttons after a few seconds lol!

6 Aug 2005

Not actually a sexual accident but when i was younger i had a scrap in the school playground with wich i recieved a knee to the nuts.
My penis was badly swollen and had serious trouble going toilet as lets say i had a leak from the side of it.
Anyone else had a similar experience?

6 Aug 2005

Beginning of last year i broke my banjo string.
Very badly, was sooo much blood was unbelievable, didnt realise it had happened till after, we loooked down and she said well its not me!
She had to drive me hospital in my car, she is still learning to drive now, had to get it stiched up. Was painful.

6 Aug 2005

we'd just finished having a hump

and lit up a :smoke:
when the end fell out and burned his bush.
he screamed and i pissed the bed.
sierra x x lol

7 Aug 2005

I'm not totally sure but I think banjo string=frenulum, anyone else any ideas?

7 Aug 2005

Quote by marmalaid
lol - yeah, nicknamed the "Banjo String".
Tra snapped that on a virgin too! She's ur worst nightmare! :lol: :lol:

It's called a , not the frenulum, you understand, frenulum is also the name of the similar bit of skin under the tongue (and at other places on the body.

Banjo-String sounds better than frenulum .... has better connotations ... hehehe
Not had any serious sexual accidents (probably coz I know wtf I'm doing :lol: ) but I did once keep a young lass out all night ... we had a really great time and shagged in loads of places/positions..... the problem arose when I took her home the next day and she introduced me to her family.
The conversation went something like this:
Girlfriend: Hi Mum, Dad, bro, sis ........ this is Chris.
Dad: Hello Chris, nice to meet you. How are you?
Me: I'm ok thanks, a bit tired.
Dad: Really? Perhaps you shouldn't keep my daughter out all night then! :twisted:
I didn't see her again. Which is a shame really coz she wuz bluddy gorgeous!!!

7 Aug 2005

Quote by bhd1976
Strange, when I heard htis story ten years ago it was a fresher from Cardiff Uni who got pulled by a student nurse from UWCM (the college of medicine had separate digs and bars with ridiculously cheap beer. They were reknowned for extreme drunkenness and depravity).

Excuse me I'm married to a nurse from UWCM! I always wondered how we met - this could explain a lot. wink

7 Aug 2005

Last year i was with my bf to swim in a pool. After a while we started to make love but when he went to bring some juice he slep on stairs and fall into the watter. But nothing too bad.

7 Aug 2005

a year ago a guy was doing one of my fave things, which is fisting.
all of a sudden i felt a rip and searing pain. owch
try explaining to the doctor how it happend lol
all i said was could you check me out cos b/f got a bit over enthusiastic, spelt wrong i know lol
i was so embaressed redface

the doctor who was male just said take it easy next time lol

7 Aug 2005

que the hundred of pms to catlin ! rolleyes

:small-print:

7 Aug 2005

i ACCIDENTALLY got drunk once.. and shagged a minger.. does that count? lol

7 Aug 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
i ACCIDENTALLY got drunk once.. and shagged a minger.. does that count? lol

Oi you said you'd never mention that!!!!

7 Aug 2005

:lol: :lol:

8 Aug 2005

We were having a threesome one afternoon, i was having anal sex with our swinging partner and i followed through redface

ops: :uhoh: bolt

8 Aug 2005

Quote by sexyann57
We were having a threesome one afternoon, i was having anal sex with our swinging partner and i followed through ops: :uhoh:

PHRAP ......

8 Aug 2005

I've never actually had an accident of a sexual nature but some of the things I get up to could cause an accident if someone without experience tried to do 'em! :shock: :shock: :shock:
For that reason I wouldn't recommend anything I can do to anyone else! :P
A peek at the pic link in my signature or at my pic in the SH Calendar will give you some idea of what I mean redface

ops: :oops: :oops:
innocent

:whistling: :whistling:

8 Aug 2005

Quote by EagerSlut
I've never actually had an accident of a sexual nature but some of the things I get up to could cause an accident if someone without experience tried to do 'em! :shock: :shock: :shock:
For that reason I wouldn't recommend anything I can do to anyone else! :P
A peek at the pic link in my signature or at my pic in the SH Calendar will give you some idea of what I mean ops: :oops: :oops:
:whistling: :whistling:

why does your pix only get a rating of 4.1 in your link ?
dont these people appreciate you ?