sexual activity at swingers clubs?

14 Sep 2008

Quote by northwest-cpl
I always go with the intention I WANT to play.. but sometimes I find I dont feel at ease enough to play once Ive arrived... Whatever the reason. So real regular swingers... does that mean I'd be unwelcome cos I wasn't willing to arrive n play regardless?
Or maybe just this is the reason the play has diminished?
Does being a swinger mean your expected to play with any other person thats there?.. Cos me is a little confoosed now
When I started out I was always told it's about being respectful tooo each others desires as well as your own, so this is how I play. Am I wrong
Minxie :rascal: xx

If you go to a club, party or private meet and don't want to play because you don't click with anyone, then that is never a problem. No one would expect you to. However, many people now seem go to clubs and parties with no intention of playing whatsoever, no matter who is there. If you went a couple of times and didn't play that would be understandable. People that go many times and don't play beg the question 'why go to a club when you really are looking for a social situation like a pub?'
Swinging is not about feeling obliged to play because you are there, but surely it is about actually playing at some point, and hopefully, more often than not.
I've found this thread very interesting. I recently went to my first party organised by fellow SH-ers. It was stated that the party was for players and I thought 'well, I'm always game!' so I asked for an invite. Then, day of the party came, and didn't I just have a complete afternoon of blind panic. Exactly what constituted a 'player'? Would I be expected to 'play' with people I wasn't attracted to? Would I lose my nerve? etc etc...
I went to the party and, just as northwest-cpl said, there was no pressure on anyway to do anything they didn't want to at all, far from it. However there was an expectation that during the evening there would be play. That's why we were there, that's what we enjoyed doing and, let's be honest, that was the thing that we had in common and the reason people were there.
I'm not a club-goer so I can't comment on that aspect of the scene. But I would just echo what has been said about there being no pressure put on people to do anything they don't want to do... that wouldn't be respectful and it wouldn't be sexy at all.
A group of likeminded adults gathering with the intention to play, now that is sexy!
Nola x

14 Sep 2008

A very interesting thread as we were only discussing such on our way back from a club in the midlands the other day. When we first started going to clubs some years ago (we are a mature couple) there was lots of activity going on during the day or night. lately it appears 'playing' is somewhat reduced.
We travel along way to clubs as ther are none in our area (that we know of) and like to play. There has been times when I have left my partner and wandered around looking for activity to join in or sat in a jacuzzi/sauna etc on my own and at times nothing has happened (perhaps I am getting an old lady and men don't fancy me any more?) although I don't normally have trouble elsewhere. Therefore, we do believe playing in clubs has somewhat reduced over the years in preference to socialising.
If anyone knows of any clubs with lots of playing and welcomes 'oldies' please let us know.

15 Sep 2008

forgot who i'm quoting but yes everyone has the right not to play at a club for whatever reason, and its not noticed if theres only 1 not playing it's when the majority don't play, thats when its noticed, like when we place an ad to meet say 12 guys, ok anyone can smash there car on way to meet us but when 10 say have accidents.......

15 Sep 2008

Quote by cockslut
forgot who i'm quoting but yes everyone has the right not to play at a club for whatever reason, and its not noticed if theres only 1 not playing it's when the majority don't play, thats when its noticed, like when we place an ad to meet say 12 guys, ok anyone can smash there car on way to meet us but when 10 say have accidents.......

sorry quick hijack.....I remember we once arranged an outside meet with a few guys and couples,,,,,anyway this one guy sent us an email saying we were a waste of time and he had crashed his car trying to find us......turned out he had traveled quite far couldnt find us and crashed his car, mind you its the only guy i ahve come accross who was telling the truth lol

:lol:
Hijack over sorry redface

16 Sep 2008

Quote by cockslut
forgot who i'm quoting but yes everyone has the right not to play at a club for whatever reason, and its not noticed if theres only 1 not playing it's when the majority don't play, thats when its noticed, like when we place an ad to meet say 12 guys, ok anyone can smash there car on way to meet us but when 10 say have accidents.......

i agree that everyone has the rights not to play but what really annoys the hells out of me is when they decide not to play at start chatting away in a open room where people are playing, to me thats just plain rude.....rant over, only put that because i had that last night at chams lol

16 Sep 2008

well we have been going to clubs as regs for just over 2 years now so find it hard to comment on the decline of play
that said we do enjoy the social side of clubs and have made some fab friends through it and do tend to have fave nights as we have friends that go but then we do go for at least 5 hours at a time and to play for 5 hours continously as fun as that might sound u would need to b as fit as an olympic athelete in my opinion lol

so it is nice to punctuate our play time with a glass of the ole vino and a good chin wag with pals sorry but can't see y this is a problem sounds like a top night to me
admitedly we don't always find a playmate and our fun is sometimes just exhibitionism sadly maybe in the good ole days they would of always been with playmates but then we haven't got the good ole days to compare it to so we just enjoy wat we got and boy do we enjoy it wink

:wink:

19 Sep 2008

Quote by cockslut
forgot who i'm quoting but yes everyone has the right not to play at a club for whatever reason, and its not noticed if theres only 1 not playing it's when the majority don't play, thats when its noticed, like when we place an ad to meet say 12 guys, ok anyone can smash there car on way to meet us but when 10 say have accidents.......

lol, so true, i think the cars that swingers drive must be the most unreliable ones, and they're also useless with directions - oh sorry got lost - yeah, get lost then!!