This is a two pronged question, first 1 is directed to people who've been on the swinging club scene over 5 years or more. Do you feel theres a lot less sexual activity nowadays at swingers clubs, do you feel there more like socials than mass orgies? Second question is to people who've not been on the scene as you think theres enough sexual activity at swingers clubs or too much or not as much as you may of thought?
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
sexual activity at swingers clubs?
Yes, in general there seem to be less players in many clubs than there were 8 years ago when we started on the club scene. It's a shame, but over the last few years we have seen a steady decline in clubs that used to be full of players and now are full of chatters and drinkers.
We still find enough people to play with at most clubs although it is becoming harder, but there seem to be far more people who go to clubs purely for social reasons now. From what we've seen at several clubs, I would put a major reason for this as being the rise of internet sites like this which encourage people into the club scene with club socials. This seems to bring people onto the club scene who think that clubs are just pubs with a slightly more liberated ambience rather than somewhere to actually play in.
We have now started to go to more parties, which is something we very rarely did 5 years ago, but we make sure those on the guest list are all players. That seems to be the route that a lot of former, very regular club-goers have taken.
We still find enough people to play with at most clubs although it is becoming harder, but there seem to be far more people who go to clubs purely for social reasons now. From what we've seen at several clubs, I would put a major reason for this as being the rise of internet sites like this which encourage people into the club scene with club socials. This seems to bring people onto the club scene who think that clubs are just pubs with a slightly more liberated ambience rather than somewhere to actually play in.
We have now started to go to more parties, which is something we very rarely did 5 years ago, but we make sure those on the guest list are all players. That seems to be the route that a lot of former, very regular club-goers have taken.
When we first started going to club about 7 years ago there was much more sex than there is now days, when we first started swinging we only met as a couple and even as a couple i never failed to get sex at a club, over the years our 'rules' have changed and we now meet as a couple and also as singles, i go to clubs as a single female offen and i have to admit now days i come back more times having not played than having played, and its supposed to be easy for single woman :shock: 
Last time we went to a club together we spend most of the night chatting to a couple who we really got on with only for them to turn round and say "oh we don't come for the sex we just enjoy the social side"
which, ok, each to their own i also like the social side, but to me the socials are for the social side and clubs are for playing, obviously just my opiniuon tho 
Last time we went to a club together we spend most of the night chatting to a couple who we really got on with only for them to turn round and say "oh we don't come for the sex we just enjoy the social side"
which, ok, each to their own i also like the social side, but to me the socials are for the social side and clubs are for playing, obviously just my opiniuon tho 
Well tbh, we love to go to the clubs, but we very rarely play there........we prefer to play at home or private parties, but we love to meet new ppl, and the clubs give us a chance to do this.
But everytime we have been to a club, we have always seen ppl playing and enjoying themselves.
Supose u have to think....some ppl there may just b voyeurs, who like to wach, and others ppl who like to b 's all about wat tickles ya fancy.
cock u want ya fancy tickling???? :twisted:
But everytime we have been to a club, we have always seen ppl playing and enjoying themselves.
Supose u have to think....some ppl there may just b voyeurs, who like to wach, and others ppl who like to b 's all about wat tickles ya fancy.
cock u want ya fancy tickling???? :twisted:
Sex God
Not only does there seem to be less people playing, but the playing seems to start later in the night than it used to.
John & Shel
John & Shel
I've only been going to clubs for the past 3 or so years, and I've even noticed that the playing has reduced or not started until really really late.
My gripe is when people take the social into the play areas
Nothing puts more of a dampner on a playing situation than when people stand there chatting about the weather or Eastenders - it's like a verbal version of the cold bucket of water :evil:
Oh yes there is worse!! When people on socials, go through to the play areas with their mates for 'a bit of a giggle'
I've felt a right freak cos have been playing, only to find a couple of people start giggling then rushing out the room, soooooo uncomfortable, sooooo bluddy rude!! :cry:
People should think about others before going to the play areas. If it's from a voyeur angle, fine, great, a turn on for both voyeur and players, but if it's to either have a laugh, or just gawp, then don't bother, it ruins peoples evenings :cry:
My gripe is when people take the social into the play areas
Nothing puts more of a dampner on a playing situation than when people stand there chatting about the weather or Eastenders - it's like a verbal version of the cold bucket of water :evil:
Oh yes there is worse!! When people on socials, go through to the play areas with their mates for 'a bit of a giggle'
I've felt a right freak cos have been playing, only to find a couple of people start giggling then rushing out the room, soooooo uncomfortable, sooooo bluddy rude!! :cry: People should think about others before going to the play areas. If it's from a voyeur angle, fine, great, a turn on for both voyeur and players, but if it's to either have a laugh, or just gawp, then don't bother, it ruins peoples evenings :cry:
Sexlightened
i had something simmilar happen recently .... they opened the door and asked...... is that you sara!!! i mean ffs ... they then went on to ask about the lighting as i was closer .... yes you know who you are and i will get you back :twisted: had a giggle about it after and since but at the time its very off putting
had a giggle about it after and since but at the time its very off putting 
Sex God
We have been to a couple of clubs a few times. I really enjoyed the social side as in meeting in the bar area and having the craic. Lets face it if your in there from 10 - 3 say then you need that social part area. The idea we've gone for is social in the social areas then move on to the other areas for sex/play. Of course there is nowadays the social/outdoor smoking areas too 
Mind you we did try play in the sauna room between the two of us fu*k thats too hot and horrible
What i'd like to ask as well if you don't mind cockslut, is that it seems to us that the open areas such as unlocked rooms group sex areas etc seem to get taken over by just one playing couple or if your lucky an ffm, or mmf with people just coming (no pun) and going on their way through rather than a few couples or a group sharing the same space. In this i'm not necessarily meaning an orgy just people sharing the space.
Mind you we did try play in the sauna room between the two of us fu*k thats too hot and horrible What i'd like to ask as well if you don't mind cockslut, is that it seems to us that the open areas such as unlocked rooms group sex areas etc seem to get taken over by just one playing couple or if your lucky an ffm, or mmf with people just coming (no pun) and going on their way through rather than a few couples or a group sharing the same space. In this i'm not necessarily meaning an orgy just people sharing the space.
Quote by Lost
We have been to a couple of clubs a few times. I really enjoyed the social side as in meeting in the bar area and having the craic. Lets face it if your in there from 10 - 3 say then you need that social part area. The idea we've gone for is social in the social areas then move on to the other areas for sex/play. Of course there is nowadays the social/outdoor smoking areas too
What i'd like to ask as well if you don't mind cockslut, is that it seems to us that the open areas such as unlocked rooms group sex areas etc seem to get taken over by just one playing couple or if your lucky an ffm, or mmf with people just coming (no pun) and going on their way through rather than a few couples or a group sharing the same space. In this i'm not necessarily meaning an orgy just people sharing the space.
yes have noticed that too
Sex God
Quote by Missy
Nothing puts more of a dampner on a playing situation than when people stand there chatting about the weather or Eastenders - it's like a verbal version of the cold bucket of water
Its not just clubs where this happens. We have been out dogging and even when there is playing taking place, there are alway some guys busy chatting about their new cars, or where they went last weekend. A real turn off :shock:
Warming the Bed
We've been going to clubs (mind you not very often) for the past two years and we certainly think that there is not enough action going on. I mean, we go there in order to have special fun and enjoy ourselves, not have a drink (we can do that in the pub).
Sometimes it feels like it's quite cliquey, i.e. that people go there to have a drink between them before they go home with their swinging mates to have fun.
We've only been to Partners in NW so we don't know if it's the same everywhere, but we are thinking of looking around simply hoping that we can find a bit more active environment"
Sometimes it feels like it's quite cliquey, i.e. that people go there to have a drink between them before they go home with their swinging mates to have fun.
We've only been to Partners in NW so we don't know if it's the same everywhere, but we are thinking of looking around simply hoping that we can find a bit more active environment"
Quote by diezel
Oh thought i'd pulled then lol ok info i can do
Quote by Ego_kai_esy
We've been going to clubs (mind you not very often) for the past two years and we certainly think that there is not enough action going on. I mean, we go there in order to have special fun and enjoy ourselves, not have a drink (we can do that in the pub).
Sometimes it feels like it's quite cliquey, i.e. that people go there to have a drink between them before they go home with their swinging mates to have fun.
We've only been to Partners in NW so we don't know if it's the same everywhere, but we are thinking of looking around simply hoping that we can find a bit more active environment"
First time we went to partners was about 5 years ago and it used to be a great club always lots of people there and always lots of play, even tho there was several clubs closer to us we made the effort to drive there as we enjoyed it, over the past years it had gone really down hill, last time we went the club was all but empty so we havn't been for a while, was wondering if it had picked up a bit but obviously not lol
We have been going to swinging clubs for about 4 years now. We have found that the playing part has gone downhill quite a bit from when we first started. It used to be that we would go in about and by 11pm you were hard pushed to find a free room!!! and now your hard pushed to get anyone to play
I agree with aother poster that some prefer the social side of swinging clubs and prefer to just have a drink in a different environment.
We prefer to go in and chat for a bit then start having some fun but that how we like it and know its not for everyone
I agree with aother poster that some prefer the social side of swinging clubs and prefer to just have a drink in a different environment.
We prefer to go in and chat for a bit then start having some fun but that how we like it and know its not for everyone
well....I went to my first club only two years ago...and so can't really speak about the increase or decrease. But I do think its the general direction of swinging. Seems there was a time..where it was all about sex and playing....I know for me..its not like that. I love the social part..and for me swinging its freindship with extra's. It's each to their own..but I wouldn't go play with someone in a club if I had just met them and only talked for 5/10 mins.
Quote by cockslut
we've tried 16 diferent clubs now in last 9 years and it seems to be the general trend everywhere so next question is why? and should we be dissapointed in the reduction of play there or should we feel happy we've seen better days at clubs??
Allowing people to easily play with strangers was the function of clubs. Not everyone, but most people, would go to a club with the intention of playing. Now most seem to go with the intention of getting pissed and talking the night away, with maybe a quick dash upstairs for a fumble a half hour before closing time.
We definitely think that it's the 'social side is most important and sex is a bonus' ethos that has come from the internet sites that is changing the club scene. People are being introduced en-masse to the club scene who would never have gone on their own, and they have changed the face of it - in our opinion not for the better.
Are we disappointed in the reduction of play - too right we are. The clubs where we could find lots of players are now full of socialites. If we wanted that we could go to the pub. The small clubs are still managing to keep going as players clubs because they are usually seen as too seedy for the majority of social swingers but maybe their days are numbered too.
Warming the Bed
Quote by northwest-cpl
We definitely think that it's the 'social side is most important and sex is a bonus' ethos that has come from the internet sites that is changing the club scene. People are being introduced en-masse to the club scene who would never have gone on their own, and they have changed the face of it - in our opinion not for the better.
Not that we are hardened swingers or that we have extended experience in the scene, however swinging IS about sex. The social side of it is just a bonus. If it happens that you click with someone as mates, then that's an added bonus, but in my opinion it shouldn't be the primary target of the swinging scene.
We do have friends and we do believe that if someone is a true friend, then you shouldn't have any problems talking to them about your liberal sex life. So I don't see why people need to turn the swinging scene into a social one (it's bloody SwingingHeaven, not Facebook!)
Quote by Ego_kai_esy
Not that we are hardened swingers or that we have extended experience in the scene, however swinging IS about sex. The social side of it is just a bonus. If it happens that you click with someone as mates, then that's an added bonus, but in my opinion it shouldn't be the primary target of the swinging scene.
We do have friends and we do believe that if someone is a true friend, then you shouldn't have any problems talking to them about your liberal sex life. So I don't see why people need to turn the swinging scene into a social one (it's bloody SwingingHeaven, not Facebook!)
Couldn't agree more, swinging is about sex.
We go to clubs for sex. If there was not going to be any sex then we wouldn't go. But despite going to clubs primarily for sex, if we go out to town we now go with friends we've made from the clubs. Our current social circle is virtually all swingers, but we shag first and make friends second - wouldn't it be a waste to spend all that time befriending people then finding out they're crap shags.
. If we wanted to socialise we'ed go down the pub to do that...we would save £40 quid to start with...we go to clubs because we want no strings sex!!...not interested in small talk!!...spent the weekend in Paris recently and tried a club out there...say one thing about the French,they know how to have a good time,no standing around chatting for hours.
Quote by northwest-cpl
Yes, in general there seem to be less players in many clubs than there were 8 years ago when we started on the club scene. It's a shame, but over the last few years we have seen a steady decline in clubs that used to be full of players and now are full of chatters and drinkers.
We still find enough people to play with at most clubs although it is becoming harder, but there seem to be far more people who go to clubs purely for social reasons now. From what we've seen at several clubs, I would put a major reason for this as being the rise of internet sites like this which encourage people into the club scene with club socials. This seems to bring people onto the club scene who think that clubs are just pubs with a slightly more liberated ambience rather than somewhere to actually play in.
We have now started to go to more parties, which is something we very rarely did 5 years ago, but we make sure those on the guest list are all players. That seems to be the route that a lot of former, very regular club-goers have taken.
Being fairly new to the swinging scene and never having been to a party, this request when parties are advertised puts me off altogether. I doubt that I wouldn't be a player... but if it's EXPECTED it makes me dry up
I think the other think that has to be taken into consideration is that apart from a core of 'hardened' swingers (and I don't use the term pejoratively) most swingers sort of ebb and flow. They may try it off and on for a few years then sort of fade out from it for numerous reasons. That means there are lots and lots of swingers who are either learning the ropes or who are bored at the novelty (etc).
This I reckon can account for a lot of what seems like socialisers rather than a club full of sweaty, linked bodies.
This I reckon can account for a lot of what seems like socialisers rather than a club full of sweaty, linked bodies.
Casanova
Well Ive read through everyone's comments and you all have your very own opinions (quite rightly) of what makes a good swinging club.
As Im no hardened swinger I also cant say wether they've got better or worse over the years but I can say, like bbw4men, if play is expected, just cos Im there, it would put me off going.
I love sex with strangers but there also Has to be some attraction to that stranger.
If there was No social side at a club how would 'I' find what 'I' go there for?.. Im not there for others pleasures only.. Im there for what I dont get at home.. which is penetrative sex.
Ive tried to just interact with a guy to find he's not allowed to play, he's there just to watch his missus with another woman(didn't know that was his missus playing) its very embarrassing to both parties and has made me very wary of approaching anyone.
If your a person who is happy to play with any other swinger maybe you should arrange an 'Orgy night' at a club and make it plain that your meeting for a mass join in of anything goes, then surely all those who agree with this side of swinging can come along and you can have tons of fun together.
The problems come together when we all expect different things out of this lifestyle & just expect others to feel the same as us.
Arrange a 'specific' nights play plans for what you'd like and see who feels the same???
Minxie :rascal: x x
As Im no hardened swinger I also cant say wether they've got better or worse over the years but I can say, like bbw4men, if play is expected, just cos Im there, it would put me off going.
I love sex with strangers but there also Has to be some attraction to that stranger.
If there was No social side at a club how would 'I' find what 'I' go there for?.. Im not there for others pleasures only.. Im there for what I dont get at home.. which is penetrative sex.
Ive tried to just interact with a guy to find he's not allowed to play, he's there just to watch his missus with another woman(didn't know that was his missus playing) its very embarrassing to both parties and has made me very wary of approaching anyone.
If your a person who is happy to play with any other swinger maybe you should arrange an 'Orgy night' at a club and make it plain that your meeting for a mass join in of anything goes, then surely all those who agree with this side of swinging can come along and you can have tons of fun together.
The problems come together when we all expect different things out of this lifestyle & just expect others to feel the same as us.
Arrange a 'specific' nights play plans for what you'd like and see who feels the same???
Minxie :rascal: x x
Quote by Bbw4umen
Being fairly new to the swinging scene and never having been to a party, this request when parties are advertised puts me off altogether. I doubt that I wouldn't be a player... but if it's EXPECTED it makes me dry up
Then the answer would be not to attend a party that asks for players and go to one of the very many social parties where play is extremely unlikely to happen. At no party is anyone forced to play, but a party that advertised for players only would not be the place for a social swinger or a voyeur or someone who was uncertain whether they actually wanted to play or not.
Quote by Buxom-Minx
If your a person who is happy to play with any other swinger maybe you should arrange an 'Orgy night' at a club and make it plain that your meeting for a mass join in of anything goes, then surely all those who agree with this side of swinging can come along and you can have tons of fun together.
The problems come together when we all expect different things out of this lifestyle & just expect others to feel the same as us.
Arrange a 'specific' nights play plans for what you'd like and see who feels the same???
Minxie :rascal: x x
The point of this thread was to canvas views on whether clubs have changed over the last few years. When we started at clubs there was never a need to arrange a special night to attract people that wanted to play. 10 to 15 couples all playing together in one room was a weekly occurrence and certainly didn't need organising. People who did not want to play never went inside a club. That is no longer the case.
Imagine a snooker club where you went for years. Whenever you went you could find people that would give you a game. Now you go and find all the tables surrounded by people chatting with their cues packed away. All the old regular players have gone elsewhere because their club has been taken over by people who talk about snooker but never play. That is what is happening to the swinging club scene - the cues never seem to come out.
Imagine a snooker club where you went for years. Whenever you went you could find people that would give you a game. Now you go and find all the tables surrounded by people chatting with their cues packed away. All the old regular players have gone elsewhere because their club has been taken over by people who talk about snooker but never play. That is what is happening to the swinging club scene - the cues never seem to come out.
great explanation
in edit: one day I will get the hang of posting with others peoples quotes in the top bit was quoted from the prevous poster
great explanation
in edit: one day I will get the hang of posting with others peoples quotes in
the top bit was quoted from the prevous poster Quote by northwest-cpl
we've tried 16 diferent clubs now in last 9 years and it seems to be the general trend everywhere so next question is why? and should we be dissapointed in the reduction of play there or should we feel happy we've seen better days at clubs??
Allowing people to easily play with strangers was the function of clubs. Not everyone, but most people, would go to a club with the intention of playing. Now most seem to go with the intention of getting pissed and talking the night away, with maybe a quick dash upstairs for a fumble a half hour before closing time.
We definitely think that it's the 'social side is most important and sex is a bonus' ethos that has come from the internet sites that is changing the club scene. People are being introduced en-masse to the club scene who would never have gone on their own, and they have changed the face of it - in our opinion not for the better.
Are we disappointed in the reduction of play - too right we are. The clubs where we could find lots of players are now full of socialites. If we wanted that we could go to the pub. The small clubs are still managing to keep going as players clubs because they are usually seen as too seedy for the majority of social swingers but maybe their days are numbered too.
we tend to visit (whats been called a seedy club in the past)nowadays and yes your right mrs"c" gets more cock there than at a bigger busier club,but hoping these days aren't numbered
Casanova
The point of this thread was to canvas views on whether clubs have changed over the last few years. When we started at clubs there was never a need to arrange a special night to attract people that wanted to play. 10 to 15 couples all playing together in one room was a weekly occurrence and certainly didn't need organising. People who did not want to play never went inside a club. That is no longer the case.
Excellent explanation & Yes I fully understand your point and believe it or not I do agree with it.. But..
I always go with the intention I WANT to play.. but sometimes I find I dont feel at ease enough to play once Ive arrived... Whatever the reason. So real regular swingers... does that mean I'd be unwelcome cos I wasn't willing to arrive n play regardless?
Or maybe just this is the reason the play has diminished?
Does being a swinger mean your expected to play with any other person thats there?.. Cos me is a little confoosed now
When I started out I was always told it's about being respectful tooo each others desires as well as your own, so this is how I play. Am I wrong
Minxie :rascal: xx
Excellent explanation & Yes I fully understand your point and believe it or not I do agree with it.. But..
I always go with the intention I WANT to play.. but sometimes I find I dont feel at ease enough to play once Ive arrived... Whatever the reason. So real regular swingers... does that mean I'd be unwelcome cos I wasn't willing to arrive n play regardless?
Or maybe just this is the reason the play has diminished?
Does being a swinger mean your expected to play with any other person thats there?.. Cos me is a little confoosed now
When I started out I was always told it's about being respectful tooo each others desires as well as your own, so this is how I play. Am I wrong
Minxie :rascal: xx
Quote by Buxom-Minx
I always go with the intention I WANT to play.. but sometimes I find I dont feel at ease enough to play once Ive arrived... Whatever the reason. So real regular swingers... does that mean I'd be unwelcome cos I wasn't willing to arrive n play regardless?
Or maybe just this is the reason the play has diminished?
Does being a swinger mean your expected to play with any other person thats there?.. Cos me is a little confoosed now
When I started out I was always told it's about being respectful tooo each others desires as well as your own, so this is how I play. Am I wrong
Minxie :rascal: xx
If you go to a club, party or private meet and don't want to play because you don't click with anyone, then that is never a problem. No one would expect you to. However, many people now seem go to clubs and parties with no intention of playing whatsoever, no matter who is there. If you went a couple of times and didn't play that would be understandable. People that go many times and don't play beg the question 'why go to a club when you really are looking for a social situation like a pub?'
Swinging is not about feeling obliged to play because you are there, but surely it is about actually playing at some point, and hopefully, more often than not.
Sexpert
Hi.
Just wnted to say this is a great thread, I can't comment as I have not been to a club yet.... hoping to go soon tho, and this thread has given me a little insight...
Thank you
Luv Willow
xXx
Just wnted to say this is a great thread, I can't comment as I have not been to a club yet.... hoping to go soon tho, and this thread has given me a little insight...
Thank you
Luv Willow
xXx
Casanova
Quote by northwest-cpl
I always go with the intention I WANT to play.. but sometimes I find I dont feel at ease enough to play once Ive arrived... Whatever the reason. So real regular swingers... does that mean I'd be unwelcome cos I wasn't willing to arrive n play regardless?
Or maybe just this is the reason the play has diminished?
Does being a swinger mean your expected to play with any other person thats there?.. Cos me is a little confoosed now
When I started out I was always told it's about being respectful tooo each others desires as well as your own, so this is how I play. Am I wrong
Minxie :rascal: xx
If you go to a club, party or private meet and don't want to play because you don't click with anyone, then that is never a problem. No one would expect you to. However, many people now seem go to clubs and parties with no intention of playing whatsoever, no matter who is there. If you went a couple of times and didn't play that would be understandable. People that go many times and don't play beg the question 'why go to a club when you really are looking for a social situation like a pub?'
Swinging is not about feeling obliged to play because you are there, but surely it is about actually playing at some point, and hopefully, more often than not.
Thankyou for clarifying that for me
And I totally agree with your points... I just hope I recieve a party invite soon lol.. Im gaggin
Minxie :rascal: xx
