Sick of unwanted PM''s from newbies? Read on...............

14 Dec 2005

It's quite obvious that a lot of the lovely ladies of this Site are being abused by multiple unwanted PM's/emails from thousands of new 'members'.
Well, this is where you fight back. :sparring:
All I ask is that you either keep these PM's (preferable) and not delete them or keep a list of the names. In a few days time(I hope!) once the admin has sorted out our Mod buttons, I will post here again that it is sorted and I would like you to send me the list of names you have and I will ban all of them. Please don't name them onsite, as we're not playing name 'n shame, but abuse IS against the Site Rules and I will enforce it.
You didn't join this site to be abused, so why should you become the victim.
Mal

14 Dec 2005

Although I appreciate the sentiment mal, I do feel it'll be a little unfair to ban the people who have simply misunderstood the way things are. I'm not happy about the number of PMs I've received from people I don't know, but they're just making use of the facilities available to them dunno

How are they to know that we don't want them to PM us? How are they to know that some of us are here for the community (or should that be ex-community :cry smile

rather than a shag?
I think that banning anyone who's sent an unwanted PM is far too drastic and I won't be keeping a list unless I get a PM that actually IS abusive, rather than a perceived abuse of my in-box

14 Dec 2005

Mal, I think I love you biggrin

14 Dec 2005

Quote by Angel Chat
Although I appreciate the sentiment mal, I do feel it'll be a little unfair to ban the people who have simply misunderstood the way things are. I'm not happy about the number of PMs I've received from people I don't know, but they're just making use of the facilities available to them How are they to know that we don't want them to PM us? How are they to know that some of us are here for the community (or should that be ex-community :cry rather than a shag?
I think that banning anyone who's sent an unwanted PM is far too drastic and I won't be keeping a list unless I get a PM that actually IS abusive, rather than a perceived abuse of my in-box

Um................my signature states quite cleary not to PM me...................I've had at least 10 PM's since I changed it mad

14 Dec 2005

i've had some off fellas now if thats what there in to then fair enought BUT I BLOODY AINT.......lol

14 Dec 2005

Quote by Mal
It's quite obvious that a lot of the lovely ladies of this Site are being abused by multiple unwanted PM's/emails from thousands of new 'members'.
Well, this is where you fight back. :sparring:
All I ask is that you either keep these PM's (preferable) and not delete them or keep a list of the names. In a few days time(I hope!) once the admin has sorted out our Mod buttons, I will post here again that it is sorted and I would like you to send me the list of names you have and I will ban all of them. Please don't name them onsite, as we're not playing name 'n shame, but abuse IS against the Site Rules and I will enforce it.
You didn't join this site to be abused, so why should you become the victim.
Mal

Interesting Idea Mal - set up a load of new features so people can identify their prospective shags quickly, then Ban them when they PM those people.
dunno

Although if there are any women who want to send me unsolicted PM's I promise to keep quiet. :twisted:

14 Dec 2005

What if the people to be banned in the future have paid a subscription, will they get a proportion of their money back?
Would the owners want to lose members/revenue by the banning of those sending unsolicitated pm's.

14 Dec 2005

Quote by Lissa
Although I appreciate the sentiment mal, I do feel it'll be a little unfair to ban the people who have simply misunderstood the way things are. I'm not happy about the number of PMs I've received from people I don't know, but they're just making use of the facilities available to them How are they to know that we don't want them to PM us? How are they to know that some of us are here for the community (or should that be ex-community :cry rather than a shag?
I think that banning anyone who's sent an unwanted PM is far too drastic and I won't be keeping a list unless I get a PM that actually IS abusive, rather than a perceived abuse of my in-box

Um................my signature states quite cleary not to PM me...................I've had at least 10 PM's since I changed it mad

Lissa they aren't getting as far as your posts or signature. If you click on My search at the side and put single females and an age range and press search you are given a list of females ... this is where your name is being pm'd from.
I have mailed st3v3 about this and there will be plans to put an opt out of searches in but until that time which I guess is way down the list it's a case of just ignore them (unfortunately) remember the delete button is your friend.
I'm not sure I agree with your suggestions Mal, I've pm'd the ones who've contacted me saying sorry due to the system change I'm not a swinger etc thanks but no thanks and as yet haven't had an abusive reply. Perhaps only if they become abusive would they need banning.
We can't just ban people who have paid their money (and it looks like they don't get refunds) for being stupid or overeager unfortunately ... we can all be guilty of that at some point!
Cali x

14 Dec 2005

Mal

Thank you for thinking of us all.
It makes me feel slightly better to know there is still a glimmer of our community left.
I came home today after 3 days in London to find this. :cry:
Once I'd registered after completing the mandatory postcode & dob field (I'm over 100 and live in the Outer Hebrides btw) I finally get into my pm box to be greeted by the new and improved 1 line pm.......
the 1 line pm with cock pick attached.

14 Dec 2005

Quote by Calista
We can't just ban people who have paid their money (and it looks like they don't get refunds) for being ............ over eager unfortunately ... we can all be guilty of that at some point!
Cali x

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Ooooooh no! Don't ban 'em for that :twisted:

14 Dec 2005

Quote by Lissa
Although I appreciate the sentiment mal, I do feel it'll be a little unfair to ban the people who have simply misunderstood the way things are. I'm not happy about the number of PMs I've received from people I don't know, but they're just making use of the facilities available to them How are they to know that we don't want them to PM us? How are they to know that some of us are here for the community (or should that be ex-community :cry rather than a shag?
I think that banning anyone who's sent an unwanted PM is far too drastic and I won't be keeping a list unless I get a PM that actually IS abusive, rather than a perceived abuse of my in-box

Um................my signature states quite cleary not to PM me...................I've had at least 10 PM's since I changed it mad

As Calista says, they aren't contacting you through the forum, they won't have seen your signature. Whereas our forum profiles used to include our signatures, the new profiles don't, so changing your sig won't stop the chancers sad

14 Dec 2005

Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
Mal
Thank you for thinking of us all.
It makes me feel slightly better to know there is still a glimmer of our community left.
I came home today after 3 days in London to find this. :cry:
Once I'd registered after completing the mandatory postcode & dob field (I'm over 100 and live in the Outer Hebrides btw) I finally get into my pm box to be greeted by the new and improved 1 line pm.......
the 1 line pm with cock pick attached.

You got one with a cock pic........... :P
uhm, All I got was about 35 one liners and shag pm's................ I'm 108 and have no location, yet I still get them. rolleyes

14 Dec 2005

i am 108 and have no location, yet they still know where i am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:
would be a bit worried about banning people just for pming though ( even though it is iritating), if they are new and have not been shown what to do and what not to do, its not really their fault.

14 Dec 2005

well just an idea Mods.....just i think three counts and your out would be useful.
IF a member was advised by a Mod not to PM..or same if anyone posted in wrong section of ads. they should be told. If they do it again, then they get the yellow card...one more offence and they out !!
That way no-one could say they weren't aware or didn't know. It gives them a chance to amend their ways and maybe learn.

14 Dec 2005

Quote by Sarah
Mal
Thank you for thinking of us all.
It makes me feel slightly better to know there is still a glimmer of our community left.
I came home today after 3 days in London to find this. :cry:
Once I'd registered after completing the mandatory postcode & dob field (I'm over 100 and live in the Outer Hebrides btw) I finally get into my pm box to be greeted by the new and improved 1 line pm.......
the 1 line pm with cock pick attached.

You got one with a cock pic........... :P
uhm, All I got was about 35 one liners and shag pm's................ I'm 108 and have no location, yet I still get them. rolleyes

Oh er well I told the truth and only got 6 pms must learn to lie more if your are getting that much attention Sarah biggrin

DD :twisted:

14 Dec 2005

Well Ive got to be honest
Yes I have had pm's but they have all been polite, so I have answered them politely
I agree that abusive pm'ers should be dealt with immediately
but to Ban for one liners I think thats harsh
maybe a warning first ?

14 Dec 2005

Yeah the sudden new influx of PM's is annoying, but it is just par for the course, I think, in the recent change from community to commercial venture.
I think banning the PMers might be a bit harsh, TBH. This is something these boys know nowt about, as they are just looking for a fuck (and ain't we all, in some way) and as this progresses to a contact site, instead of a Swingers community, this is what we will have to expect.

14 Dec 2005

Weve had 11 today, and were a couple ffs.
6 cock shots and 1 down right rude.
Yeah ban the fuckers, all of 'em!!!
Good on ya Mal m8.

14 Dec 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
What if the people to be banned in the future have paid a subscription, will they get a proportion of their money back?
Would the owners want to lose members/revenue by the banning of those sending unsolicitated pm's.

people pay to drive on the roads, but still get sanctioned if they break the rules. I would expect the same to apply here.
Three strikes and you are out sounds good - if you get someone PM you stick them on your ignore list. Perhaps we can get Admin to supply us with a list of those who are getting themselves stuck on an abnormal level of ignore lists, and we can ban them.
After all, if they get banned, they will have to pay to get back in, and that sort of fits in with everyones needs!
lhk
Kat

14 Dec 2005

A simple way to avoid unwanted pm's is to clear your profile of any info apart from staus - couple, single fem or whatever - then change your age to around 100 years old and Voila! no one will want to pm you after that!
Works for me and since I changed our details yesterday evening, we've not had any unwanted pm's at all lol

Tracy-Jayne

14 Dec 2005

Quote by RedHot
A simple way to avoid unwanted pm's is to clear your profile of any info apart from staus - couple, single fem or whatever - then change your age to around 100 years old and Voila! no one will want to pm you after that!
Works for me and since I changed our details yesterday evening, we've not had any unwanted pm's at all
Tracy-Jayne

same here .. haven't had a problem since this morning after doing exactly that :thumbup:
C x

14 Dec 2005

Quote by RedHot
A simple way to avoid unwanted pm's is to clear your profile of any info apart from staus - couple, single fem or whatever - then change your age to around 100 years old and Voila! no one will want to pm you after that!
Works for me and since I changed our details yesterday evening, we've not had any unwanted pm's at all
Tracy-Jayne

:rotflmao: I did that from the start and haven't had one PM :lol:
Shireen
xxx

15 Dec 2005

Quote by EagerSlut

We can't just ban people who have paid their money (and it looks like they don't get refunds) for being ............ over eager unfortunately ... we can all be guilty of that at some point!
Cali x

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Ooooooh no! Don't ban 'em for that :twisted:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

15 Dec 2005

Quote by Mal
I would like you to send me the list of names you have and I will ban all of them.

Or they could just hit the ignore button.
Are you going to give the accused the right to reply? They're simply using what's been presented to them, and banning them on the strength of an accusation without investigating for an AUP breach, especially if they've paid, is going to get the site owners in rather hot legal water.

15 Dec 2005

Mal ................ thanx !
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

15 Dec 2005

i have a use for the cock pics
make a new thread called sh cock pics....and stcik them all on there....
that was a joke not seriously i mite ad before anyone starts getting worried
MikeC

15 Dec 2005

Education is the key to this problem. As a 'newbie' myself I have found this site to be a lot of fun and I'm sure 90% of the 359,630 members use the site with manners, politness and respect for everyone, sfter all we are all human (ish) !!! In my experience of the site it seems there are a few people that are very experienced with the usage of the SH site and as soon as a 'newbie' wanders in the someone doesnt like the look of or like what they have put in the forum or chat room they get shot down straight of........................
Yes us 'newbie' will make mistakes along the way but I would hope the more experienced members on her would try and educate others to the proper manner of conducting themselves and then if they still act like an idiot and continue to break the code of conduct then by all means ban them from the site but to do it from a couple of unwanted PM's is a little bit harsh.
The word 'Swinger' means different things to a lot of people, can we all have a little more patience and forgivness for others.
Thats my thoughts on the situation, being a newbie I'm sure I have upset some on here with my coments, if thats the case maybe you sould ban me for speaking my thoughts and to all those that know they are being a pain in the arse with PM's, STOP He He He

15 Dec 2005

I have not pmd anyone (far too polite) but I must admit that the distance search button has allowed me to realise thre are some sh members near me, the temptation is undoubtedly there and I have certainly been tempted to use a facility that was not available before!

15 Dec 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
I would like you to send me the list of names you have and I will ban all of them.

Or they could just hit the ignore button.
Are you going to give the accused the right to reply? They're simply using what's been presented to them, and banning them on the strength of an accusation without investigating for an AUP breach, especially if they've paid, is going to get the site owners in rather hot legal water.
well yeah ice pie, if they pay for a "feature" presuming they can actually then use said feature, kinda tricky then to slap their hands for it?
don't think it would be beyond the wit of man to have some kind of agreement at sign up that makes it clear a ban potentially awaits for transgressors though, regardless of the joining fee. AUP etc still applies surely in any event?
neil x x x ;)

15 Dec 2005

You're right, Neil, they all agree to abide by the AUP when they registered, and it does state that abusive or offensive behaviour will not be tolerated. So regardless of whether they paid or not, breach the AUP and you're gone.
Having said that, someone sending a unsolicited PM is not an offence and they wouldn't be banned for that. It would be the content of the PM which deemed whether it was acceptable or not. I'm not suggesting that we step outside those guidelines, what I am saying is that if the recipient feels that it is offensive or abusive to them, then they shouldn't feel that, just because we have had over 300,000 new members in a matter of 3 days, that it has suddenly become acceptable to be offensive or abusive - it hasn't and they should know we will act on their behalf.
So don't jump up and down thinking I'm making up new rules, I'm not. The rule has always been there, I'm just reminding anybody that we will enforce it once our buttons have been sorted as we cannot do anything at the moment.
One other thing. As we now have a hundredfold increase in members, we do need help from you, the members, to help us to help you. If you see something is wrong, let us know. If you have a suggestion, let us know. We now have approximately 30,000 members for each moderator, a completely fragmented site and are struggling with this a lot more than you are, but we would rather you came to us with solutions instead of problems. we can ONLY do it with your help, so don't shoot the messenger!!
Mal