single bi female...the holy grail?

4 May 2006

i was just sitting here, contemplating my illusive and superior status cool

....(yeh right......)
as a single girl on the forums im often reading posts by regular couples on the forum regarding the "need" for a single bi female...and yet ive never once been contacted by anyone who i see on this forum....well..... maybe two couples that i can remember (one of which im not sure i replied to and lost their mail......) i also recently posted in the "lets meet up" section to no avail.
"well why dont you make the first move" i hear you cry....a simple answer....most of the regular couples on here have no profile or advert so ive no idea who to approach and who not to most of the time! but that debate is in another thread i think......lol
so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?
is it about being aestethically pleasing? about distance? about their posting style? about perceived genuineness? about experience? about meeting at a social or munch beforehand? all or a mixture of the above? id assume the latter. what makes you choose to reply to a particular ad?
im not fishing for replys here, odds on im going to meet most of you at up and coming munches and socials, if i havent already and this is by no means a "look at me" post so try not to make the thread too personal to me (thats what pm boxes are for....)
its just a discussion point.....afterall....were forever discussing what single men need to do to improve their chances....so why not turn it around?

4 May 2006

sexkittenhfx
:inlove:
nuff said
phill
xxxx

4 May 2006

Quote by sexkittenhfx

so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?
is it about being aestethically pleasing? about distance? about their posting style? about perceived genuineness? about experience? about meeting at a social or munch beforehand? all or a mixture of the above? id assume the latter. what makes you choose to reply to a particular ad?

I think that you're quite correct in thinking that it's a mixture of the qualities you state.
Although, of course, most people would like their potential partners (sexual or otherwise) to be as much like them as possible - this is a natural phenomenon, after all. So, obviously, the advice here would be to 'be yourself' and people who are like you will turn up eventually! biggrin

Speaking personally, we don't tend to reply to too many single bi-female adverts on here, as we tend to find the people we want from real life - it's much easier to figure out who are the 'real' deal as opposed to pic collectors or timewasters than on the 'net.
Another reason for not responding to ads on SH is that you get the feeling that single bi-fems get deluged with mail anyway, and your reply isn't going to get a lot of attention amongst all the other PMs they get. Of course, you could put a lot of work into making your PM as good as possible, and as interesting and eye-catching as possible - but then you end up not getting a reply anyway, so the temptation is not to put in too much effort and then your PM doesn't stand out again. It's a nasty sort of Catch-22 situation.
I'm kind of surprised that a single bi-fem doesn't seem to get that much attention, but then I'd probably liken it to the real life situation where very atractive women don't often get chatted-up (except by total chancers) because most men will assume that they don't have a chance anyway...
Just my 2p worth.

4 May 2006

I'll be reading this with interest too, it can be quite intimidating reading about single bi females being like 'gold dust'. I get loads of pm's, most of which are directed at any sbf with no regard to who I am, from people who would probably not give me a second glance walking down the street.
I'm quite new to the swinging world, but I think people should be treated by who they are not what they are, why should it be different here?
H.x

4 May 2006

Quote by sexkittenhfx
i was just sitting here, contemplating my illusive and superior status ....(yeh right......)
as a single girl on the forums im often reading posts by regular couples on the forum regarding the "need" for a single bi female...and yet ive never once been contacted by anyone who i see on this forum....well..... maybe two couples that i can remember (one of which im not sure i replied to and lost their mail......) i also recently posted in the "lets meet up" section to no avail.
"well why dont you make the first move" i hear you cry....a simple answer....most of the regular couples on here have no profile or advert so ive no idea who to approach and who not to most of the time! but that debate is in another thread i think......lol
so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?
is it about being aestethically pleasing? about distance? about their posting style? about perceived genuineness? about experience? about meeting at a social or munch beforehand? all or a mixture of the above? id assume the latter. what makes you choose to reply to a particular ad?
im not fishing for replys here, odds on im going to meet most of you at up and coming munches and socials, if i havent already and this is by no means a "look at me" post so try not to make the thread too personal to me (thats what pm boxes are for....)
its just a discussion point.....afterall....were forever discussing what single men need to do to improve their chances....so why not turn it around?

What more can you add to that apart from what about a female couple looking for a bi-fem? Does this need special attention too?
Maybe I should go back to my corner and contemplate my navel!!!

4 May 2006

Quote by H-x
I get loads of pm's, most of which are directed at any sbf with no regard to who I am, from people who would probably not give me a second glance walking down the street.

It's interesting to read that.
I had a similar conversation recently with one of the girls from the forum.
It was something that I'd never really considered, and I was quite surprised by what she was telling me.
But it would speak volumes about "the couple" that invited the sbf (love that) to join them rather than "Jane"

Quote by H-x
I'm quite new to the swinging world, but I think people should be treated by who they are not what they are, why should it be different here?
H.x

Absolutely ! !

4 May 2006

Quote by H-x
I get loads of pm's, most of which are directed at any sbf with no regard to who I am, from people who would probably not give me a second glance walking down the street.
I'm quite new to the swinging world, but I think people should be treated by who they are not what they are, why should it be different here?
H.x

thats so true H, i also get that alot....nothing worse than a reply stating how they would really like to meet me coz i look soooo lovely...then i go read theyre profile and it says something alog the lines of "were looking for a slim bi female with big boobs who can travel....) lol

4 May 2006

Quote by phil_osopher
I'm kind of surprised that a single bi-fem doesn't seem to get that much attention, but then I'd probably liken it to the real life situation where very atractive women don't often get chatted-up (except by total chancers) because most men will assume that they don't have a chance anyway...
Just my 2p worth.

i totally agree with this,
i have a m8 who is nothing special, by his own admission
he is always with drop dead fit girls.
i asked him how come?
his reply amazed me.
he said " nobody else talks to them, so when i go up and just be myself they like it"
simple as that!!!
phill.

4 May 2006

Quote by H-x
I get loads of pm's, most of which are directed at any sbf with no regard to who I am, from people who would probably not give me a second glance walking down the street.

Possibly because they're looking for swinging partners and not people they want to spend any quality time with outside the bedroom. There are different types of swingers - some of whom will treat you just as a 'sbf' and others who want to get to know you as a friend. Same in all walks of life really - lots of non-swinging blokes think of a woman as 'the next shag', rather than someone they could become friends with.
THe other reason that you get loads of PMs aimed at a generic single bi-fem, is just what I mentioned previously - since bi-fems tend to get loads of PMs, they tend not to answer them, and therefore people who send the PMs get weary of trying to send interesting PMs with personality and humour, and end up sending some kind of 'stock' PM, which they don't mind not getting a response from, because they've put no effort into it.

4 May 2006

Quote by sexkittenhfx
I get loads of pm's, most of which are directed at any sbf with no regard to who I am, from people who would probably not give me a second glance walking down the street.
I'm quite new to the swinging world, but I think people should be treated by who they are not what they are, why should it be different here?
H.x

thats so true H, i also get that alot....nothing worse than a reply stating how they would really like to meet me coz i look soooo lovely...then i go read theyre profile and it says something alog the lines of "were looking for a slim bi female with big boobs who can travel....) lol
Reading both the above quotes, i think I would be insulted by the person that had PMed me confused

A response like that, treats you with a bit of disrespect, if they haven't taken the care to look at your profile first.
I like to think people want to meet each other, because their is an attraction, and those involved like each other, rather than just treated as a piece of meat.
Maybe its a good thing being a bloke, and not a bi fem :?

4 May 2006

Quote by DeviousLiasons

so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?

1. Big tits
2. Lack of morals
3. Big tits
4. Easy
5. Big tits
6. Insatiable
7. Big tits
8. Attractive
9. Big Tits
10 . Adeventurous
11. Big tits.........
Shall we go on?
yes, please do......... :twisted:

4 May 2006

Quote by DeviousLiasons
1. Big tits
2. Lack of morals
3. Big tits
4. Easy
5. Big tits
6. Insatiable
7. Big tits
8. Attractive
9. Big Tits
10 . Adeventurous
11. Big tits.........
Shall we go on?

would they settle for 3/11 d'you think? (no, I'm not saying which 3)
H.x

4 May 2006

Quote by H-x

1. Big tits
2. Lack of morals
3. Big tits
4. Easy
5. Big tits
6. Insatiable
7. Big tits
8. Attractive
9. Big Tits
10 . Adeventurous
11. Big tits.........
Shall we go on?

would they settle for 3/11 d'you think? (no, I'm not saying which 3)
H.x
me too hunni, I reckon I could do the same 3 redface

4 May 2006

Trying to decide what to add to this.....
I know our ad states we would love the company of a single bi female - I know I certainly would!!! - and I guess up until now, both hubby and I have considered ourselves probably out of the league of what the lovely ladies are looking for.
Maybe I'm wrong.......
We are both a very average couple, not exactly drop dead gorgeous, and I certainly aint going to be the slim model type any time soon (I'm a curvy size 18), I guess we've always just thought that sbf's would be looking for something pretty special..... maybe we just feel inferior!
Sad isn't it?
Please don't shout at me, I'm the sensitive type.....

4 May 2006

Another reason is mostly guys do this but so do cpls
Bare with me as old gal here & boy has this site changed.
They send winks saying love ur profile take a look at ours & bare amount of info in their profile.
I tend to chat with people that make a bit more effert or am i being fussy. I just like to get to know people first as i'm not up for a one off quick shag like most guys & yes have even had a girl after the same Sorry not my style.
OK MOAN over Phew

4 May 2006

Quote by SexySara
Trying to decide what to add to this.....
I know our ad states we would love the company of a single bi female - I know I certainly would!!! - and I guess up until now, both hubby and I have considered ourselves probably out of the league of what the lovely ladies are looking for.
Maybe I'm wrong.......
We are both a very average couple, not exactly drop dead gorgeous, and I certainly aint going to be the slim model type any time soon (I'm a curvy size 18), I guess we've always just thought that sbf's would be looking for something pretty special..... maybe we just feel inferior!
Sad isn't it?
Please don't shout at me, I'm the sensitive type.....

honey, im an average single bi female, no threat to anyone and nothing extra special abotu me at all (although my new haircut is rather fantastic......)and id hope my profile and posting sytle puts that across......you shouldnt think of the sbf as special and rare......you will never meet anyone with that attitude.....just be yourself and contact those who you think you might get on with! and for the record your photos are great so i wouldnt worry about being the slim model type or not, were not all attracted to that xxxx

4 May 2006

Quote by sexkittenhfx
Trying to decide what to add to this.....
I know our ad states we would love the company of a single bi female - I know I certainly would!!! - and I guess up until now, both hubby and I have considered ourselves probably out of the league of what the lovely ladies are looking for.
Maybe I'm wrong.......
We are both a very average couple, not exactly drop dead gorgeous, and I certainly aint going to be the slim model type any time soon (I'm a curvy size 18), I guess we've always just thought that sbf's would be looking for something pretty special..... maybe we just feel inferior!
Sad isn't it?
Please don't shout at me, I'm the sensitive type.....

honey, im an average single bi female, no threat to anyone and nothing extra special abotu me at all (although my new haircut is rather fantastic......)and id hope my profile and posting sytle puts that across......you shouldnt think of the sbf as special and rare......you will never meet anyone with that attitude.....just be yourself and contact those who you think you might get on with! and for the record your photos are great so i wouldnt worry about being the slim model type or not, were not all attracted to that xxxx
Very well put sexkitten :thumbup:
I was looking for a similar type of reply but as usual my fingers worked faster than my brain and it all came out wrong confused

I would like to add that most of the couples and singles here are of the normal (if slightly tapped) variety and what floats one persons boat may sink anothers' battleship biggrin

Sexysara, I think your pics are great and your profile is informative and well written (unlike mine :?)
Minx x x

4 May 2006

'Tapped'

not heard that since I was in school!
H.x

4 May 2006

Quote by BiWelshMinx
Sexysara, I think your pics are great and your profile is informative and well written (unlike mine )
Minx x x

Yeh............
Theres no tit pics on your profile minxy...... sad

4 May 2006

Quote by H-x
'Tapped'
not heard that since I was in school!
H.x

Did you not think it about some of the members though? ;)
Minx x x

4 May 2006

That would be the polite version, yes.
H.x

4 May 2006

THe other reason that you get loads of PMs aimed at a generic single bi-fem, is just what I mentioned previously - since bi-fems tend to get loads of PMs, they tend not to answer them, and therefore people who send the PMs get weary of trying to send interesting PMs with personality and humour, and end up sending some kind of 'stock' PM, which they don't mind not getting a response from, because they've put no effort into it.
we have come across this as well.. but we also find that if the picture look likes the fem is too attractive then we will not send a pm cos we feel that after so many non replies we are wasting our time.(out our league, so to say).we also find that we are unsure of whether we have sent that particular person a pm before, i know you can check ur mailbox but time consuming trailing through the mail sometimes, and dont want to keep repeating ourselves when the person is clearly not interested.. i think that is the reason in your case cos ur name is very familiar we have assumed that we have sent u a pm and revieved no reply.. for this i apologise... sorry x redface

4 May 2006

Quote by DAVEANDDEBBIE69
we also find that if the picture look likes the fem is too attractive then we will not send a pm cos we feel that after so many non replies we are wasting our time.(out our league, so to say).we also find that we are unsure of whether we have sent that particular person a pm before, i know you can check ur mailbox but time consuming trailing through the mail sometimes, and dont want to keep repeating ourselves when the person is clearly not interested.. i think that is the reason in your case cos ur name is very familiar we have assumed that we have sent u a pm and revieved no reply.. for this i apologise... sorry x

i replied! lol you didnt pm me as such, you just responded to one of my threads via pm i think...but i did reply! lol
totally understand what youre saying about remembering if youve already replied or not, i have the same trouble with replying to pm's! someone suggeted the mailbox indicated with a tick or somethgin when mails have been replied to the other day, i think its a great idea to help us keep track!
and as far as being out of anybodies league goes, im wouldnt be so conceited to ever think such a thing!

4 May 2006

Quote by sexkittenhfx
we also find that if the picture look likes the fem is too attractive then we will not send a pm cos we feel that after so many non replies we are wasting our time.(out our league, so to say).we also find that we are unsure of whether we have sent that particular person a pm before, i know you can check ur mailbox but time consuming trailing through the mail sometimes, and dont want to keep repeating ourselves when the person is clearly not interested.. i think that is the reason in your case cos ur name is very familiar we have assumed that we have sent u a pm and revieved no reply.. for this i apologise... sorry x

i replied! lol you didnt pm me as such, you just responded to one of my threads via pm i think...but i did reply! lol
totally understand what youre saying about remembering if youve already replied or not, i have the same trouble with replying to pm's! someone suggeted the mailbox indicated with a tick or somethgin when mails have been replied to the other day, i think its a great idea to help us keep track!
and as far as being out of anybodies league goes, im wouldnt be so conceited to ever think such a thing!
yes sounds like a good idea as well....its just a lack of confidence in our own appearance....

4 May 2006

Quote by DAVEANDDEBBIE69
we have come across this as well.. but we also find that if the picture look likes the fem is too attractive then we will not send a pm cos we feel that after so many non replies we are wasting our time.(out our league, so to say).

I have recently put up an ad looking to meet couples on my own, so I suppose in some respects I have become a single bi-fem in a couple :lol2:
Now what you have said is interesting because I have had several replies to my ad and when I have looked at their profile I think there isn't much point going on as the lady is very slim and very attractive so therefore I am not in their league confused

Ihave said it before so I might as well say it again, but I am primarily attracted to the body/face, personality comes later.... But I find myself in a catch 22 situation as the ones that I find attractive are the ones that I dont think would look at me twice :lol2:

4 May 2006

I manage to talk myself out of replying to every ad I look at. I always manage to find something in there that I don't quite fit. I'm too old, too young, too tall, too short, wrong shape, too casual, not 'girly' enough. I think confidence only comes with time (I hope), there are some lucky people who seem to have it already, but some of us have to work at it.
H.x

4 May 2006

Even those of us that have oodles of confidence still find fault with ourselves H kiss

4 May 2006

I have modified my wink message so it is not the standard default one....
It also has a different subject line...
So its sort of personalised but still what some will call a copy and paste reply....
And I wink my way merrily through the site with reckless abandon... biggrin

4 May 2006

it was so much easier at school when you got your mate to tell the one who you fancied that you did..wasnt so redface

4 May 2006

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: It was Dave and Debbie
I am off to slap Steve rolleyes