single /couple or married etc status question

30 Oct 2006

we have a system on this site that sems to add a little confusion to proceedings, its the question of are you single or a couple, now at first you think thats not a problem well it is, we often get single guys saying well im down as single but play as a couple, i can think of many good examples of this, they arent married or living together so log on as singles, then get ignored in chat by their status symbol there of a single guy.....the same of course works the other way, the Married guy that plays alone....with/without his partners consent, that of course is another issue not for this thread.....
im guessing you are begining to get the idea, would it be possible in the future to have the account status/types changed so that its more obvious to people what a person actually is...
ie how do you play
as a single
as a bi single
as a gay single
as a couple
couple bi fem
couple bi male
and so on and so on,
this must be more relelvant to finding a swinging partner than if you have walked up the aisle or not??
wrats
xx

30 Oct 2006

Quote by wild rose and the stag
im guessing you are begining to get the idea, would it be possible in the future to have the account status/types changed so that its more obvious to people what a person actually is...
ie how do you play
as a single
as a bi single
as a gay single
as a couple
couple bi fem
couple bi male
and so on and so on,
this must be more relelvant to finding a swinging partner than if you have walked up the aisle or not??

I think it's a great idea. :thumbup:
I am listed as a Gay Couple so I get a lot of requests for 3somes even though I have a single person profile as I only swing alone. Also because I am in a 'Gay' partnership people tend to assume I'm Gay - but there is not another selection I can make really.

30 Oct 2006

well your right there because up until now we had you down as a single gay person, dont ask where we have got that from, anyway now we have studied your pictures we can see you are indeed a nice looking couple on the one and a rather special single on the other
wrats
xx

30 Oct 2006

And rather oddly it seems judging by my "Who Viewed You" list, several people who 'know' me on are now checking out my profile! lol

30 Oct 2006

to cover all bases, as it were, for potential *classifications* there may well have to be quite a list there...
and even then, might not *multiple selection* be needed in some cases?..dunno... thinking allowed really.
how i have *classed*myself here doesnt really leave me comfortable, and my situation isnt all that complicated in the first place!!! maybe Im a tad simple?... >say nowt<
then again, if conversation should be opened with anyone, i guess the opportunity to explain better is there... and as it stands, maybe we shouldnt take *status* as carved in stone....
...after all, some of us may like to do/try different things at different times, that shouldnt neccessarily cast us in that mould for life should it?
LP

30 Oct 2006

Quote by Kiss
And rather oddly it seems judging by my "Who Viewed You" list, several people who 'know' me on are now checking out my profile!

Errr, cos this went totally over my head

Quote by wrats
now we have studied your pictures we can see you are indeed a nice looking couple on the one and a rather special single on the other

and i thought you'd posted some of our wedding pictures
(i wanted a look as i still don't remember getting married wink

)

30 Oct 2006

Quote by meat2pleaseu
And rather oddly it seems judging by my "Who Viewed You" list, several people who 'know' me on are now checking out my profile!

Errr, cos this went totally over my head

Quote by wrats
now we have studied your pictures we can see you are indeed a nice looking couple on the one and a rather special single on the other

and i thought you'd posted some of our wedding pictures
(i wanted a look as i still don't remember getting married wink

)
I was going to post some of our wedding pictures but I thought they may break the AUP! :rascal:
Let me have a look through them and see if I can find a suitable one.
Ohhh and about the not remembering thing... I'm told it's only a side effect and that flash-backs should start soon.

30 Oct 2006

You missed one out there Wrats. Not that we play but if we did it would have to be as a "thruple" (tm Mrs R). Would we have to sign up as a group? :shock: dunno

Its much the same as those forms I used to refuse to fill out at work when I was in a Lesbian relationship. The type that only gave you the choice of being married or single. Umm - loads of people left out on those!
Rsxx :color:

30 Oct 2006

Good question.
I show up as a single female in the chatroom, although my profile on here clearly states I'm part of a couple. Dunno how that's happened confused

It's pretty apt tho, as only I play, so in that respect I am a single, although my other half would always be present at my meets with guys, even if he didn't join in,

30 Oct 2006

nice idea wrats and well thought out and explained
i only see one problem though and i hate to be the cynical one....we would still be relying on people telling the truth,
i have no doubts that a lot of people would, and certainly be useful.... but part of me knowing the way that people who play without consent get treated , would people change profile if they knew that it would mean there chances would be diminished???
that is just my initial thought.... if someone could work around that i would be sold
sean xx

30 Oct 2006

hiya
not a bad idea but
i play as a cpl
or as a single fem
jo

30 Oct 2006

This is a very good point.
I'm registered as a single but I'm not. Can't remember choosing that classification - maybe I did dunno

It couldn't be further from the truth. I'm married and we swing as a couple - so I'm confused let alone anyone else looking at me profile.
.

30 Oct 2006

I'm currently going through a divorce so really I am married but playing singley confused

BUT
I also play with another cpl and the odd single female so what does that class me as :? :? :? apart from very lucky wink

:wink:

30 Oct 2006

Quote by Rainbows
You missed one out there Wrats. Not that we play but if we did it would have to be as a "thruple" (tm Mrs R). Would we have to sign up as a group? :shock:
Its much the same as those forms I used to refuse to fill out at work when I was in a Lesbian relationship. The type that only gave you the choice of being married or single. Umm - loads of people left out on those!
Rsxx :color:

i lknow i missed loads of options out, i wasnt going to try to list them all ........someone else said, london plaything i think...about being tarred with the same situation for life, well surelyu you wouldnt be , could it not be changed at a click of a button like my marital status can be currently.
wrats

30 Oct 2006

From looking at our profile we just seem to be confused......... we are listed as a couple, but instead of the little man and woman icon, we have question marks :shock:
Les x

30 Oct 2006

Quote by gingerjo-lee
hiya
not a bad idea but
i play as a cpl
or as a single fem
jo

then maybe in this age of the computer we could have both options included ,
i know its a can of worms but i stand by the fact that it has to be more important than whether you are married or not , i mean what does that tell you swinging wise, if this was just a dating site then fair enough, but its a swinging site isnt it?
wrats
xx

30 Oct 2006

maybe we could also add
voyeurs
cammers
socialites
and people here to be titilated,
other sites include your swinging preferences going much further than full swap , soft swap......they include degrees of sexual activity, maybe this is ott but it shows what could be done if we wanted to, we being admin that is....
wouldnt half save a shit loadf of time trying to find swinging partners
wrats
xx

30 Oct 2006

I agree it's a much better idea wrats :thumbup:
when the changeover happened and the oldies had to re-register I asked are you a male female or couple, as I have a single login (ie Morb has his own) I clicked female and it automatically classified me as a Single female :shock: it's only recently been changed to show that I am part of a couple (and has cut down on chancer pms biggrin

), but to complicate things we do play as singles occasionally.
Cx

30 Oct 2006

Quote by wild rose and the stag
could it not be changed at a click of a button like my marital status can be currently.

wrats

How the hell did you smuggle that clause into the pre-nup? :twisted:

30 Oct 2006

if life were only that simple ......

30 Oct 2006

i think its a really good point you've made, especially as people start out one thing, change to another and then maybe go back again, ie single, couple,single, and some play as more than one thing.
is it possible to change your status as the profiles currently stand or does it cost?
i do agree though there should be more choices
Earthy xx

30 Oct 2006

Hi, my first post on the forums although I have been here a few months. smile

This is a topical question for me. I registered as a single female and very much continue to be so. However, since joining, I have met up with another member, a single male, for friendship and regular sex.
While we want to retain our independence and play as singles when the mood takes us, we also realise we get on well together as a couple and have great sex. As part of our swinging experience, we want to experiment with couples, maybe threesomes etc.
We don't want to list ourselves as a couple as that limits our options for singles playing yet it doesn't feel right contacting couples who seek couples when we have a single identity even though we explain ourselves in the messages. It's very confusing. confused

We had toyed with the idea of also registering as a couple but realised that it might well be against the T's & C's to have multiple user accounts
We'd love to be able to switch our status as the need arises.

30 Oct 2006

I think that the downside of being able to change your status pretty much at will, would be that some would use it for more devious means. That is, changing from couple/single to suit, regardless of theiractualstatus.

30 Oct 2006

and thats devious, but surely you can change your marital status currently and your profile and so on isnt that potentially more devious,
at the end of the day your marital status isnt something you would change very often yet your preference for playing could change hourly so give the option to the player to do that....

30 Oct 2006

Quote by mazalli
Hi, my first post on the forums although I have been here a few months.
This is a topical question for me. I registered as a single female and very much continue to be so. However, since joining, I have met up with another member, a single male, for friendship and regular sex.
While we want to retain our independence and play as singles when the mood takes us, we also realise we get on well together as a couple and have great sex. As part of our swinging experience, we want to experiment with couples, maybe threesomes etc.
We don't want to list ourselves as a couple as that limits our options for singles playing yet it doesn't feel right contacting couples who seek couples when we have a single identity even though we explain ourselves in the messages. It's very confusing. We had toyed with the idea of also registering as a couple but realised that it might well be against the T's & C's to have multiple user accounts
We'd love to be able to switch our status as the need arises.

Welcome to the forums mazalli :welcome:
You are perfectly entitled to register an account as a couple if that's how you play sometimes ;) or you could mention it in each profile if you haven't already done so (sorry I didn't check). You would need a seperate (sp?) email address for a new account though :)
I think this is a good thread topic as there are probably quite a few people who don't fit into any of the current categories and more choice might allow for less confusion and time wasted in messaging people that aren't really what you're looking for ;)
Minx x x

30 Oct 2006

Quote by wild rose and the stag
i lknow i missed loads of options out, i wasnt going to try to list them all ........someone else said, london plaything i think...about being tarred with the same situation for life, well surelyu you wouldnt be , could it not be changed at a click of a button like my marital status can be currently.

I guess that being able to change things with the click of a button would be a lot easier on here than anywhere in else - especially real life!
So I vote for at least being able to change that here! I want to be part of a thruple, not single.
So come on SH - let me at least live as a thruple in SOME place!
confused

RSxx :color:

30 Oct 2006

Quote by couple_ne2000
From looking at our profile we just seem to be confused......... we are listed as a couple, but instead of the little man and woman icon, we have question marks :shock:
Les x

its that haircut................... wink

31 Oct 2006

This may seem very simplistic, but you all have a 'free text' box in your profile, which you can change at will. You can put ANY connotation of what you are, your likes and dislikes, your status, married, single but playing as a couple with a fuck buddie, bi in a gay relationship, part of a couple but play alone - the list is endless, just as you all require!
It's exactly where anyone would look if they were interested in finding out about you and you can give them as much information as they require to make a decision whether they want to contact you direct.
Hope that helps
Mal
wink

31 Oct 2006

of course it will help some, the idea of the thread wasnt to say look what we can do know but more foreward thinking about the future and what may be a useful addition then, that facility for a married etc quick glance is there , my suggestion was for a quick glance system for lifestyle/swingstyle
wrats

31 Oct 2006

Quick glance button or boxes ticked wouldn't work for me personally because I am the kind who has fundamental rules but the activities I'm prepared to engage in will change with the minute, hour, day, week, month, biannually, yearly.... etc depending on many factors such as the other people, the time, place, how I feel, my partner etc.... So I'd probably not tick anything in favour of a bit of conversation instead.
There are already selections to make to show 'your activities' that give little symbols as to what that person/people are interested in doing. If it's not got any symbols ticked then I'd guess they weren't playing right at that point in time, or een that their account isn't upgraded enough to select these particular options. dunno

Perhaps instead of more tick buttons, a matching up system for interests might be more handy, then if someone has say, four or more of the same activities ticked you can search for your matches? :dunno: Does that make sense? Not sure.
I guess in the end extra boxes to tick is not going to cut down on those who are only wanting to collect pictures, titlate or bullshit.
kiss

Gem. x