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Single man on a swinging site
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Sex God
Im a girl... Yes im on a site that is for meeting people to have sex...
But i don't always.
I meet.. have a laff.. few drinks.. and i'm quite happy with that.
IF it all goes well and we do end up having sex.. then its a bonus. I was once advised by somebody never to expect.. and i go along with that.
You could chat away with somebody over the fone or pc for 1 week maybe even 1 month, but when you meet you could not get on at all. For me, conversation and feeling comfortable with the person is a key factor when on a meet.
But i don't always.
I meet.. have a laff.. few drinks.. and i'm quite happy with that.
IF it all goes well and we do end up having sex.. then its a bonus. I was once advised by somebody never to expect.. and i go along with that.
You could chat away with somebody over the fone or pc for 1 week maybe even 1 month, but when you meet you could not get on at all. For me, conversation and feeling comfortable with the person is a key factor when on a meet.
I find it awful when you build what you thought was a friendship with someone only to find out later that they've just hung around because they were desperate to shag you.
I've been on the receiving end on several occasions, and its the friendship under false pretences that really saddens me.
I've been on the receiving end on several occasions, and its the friendship under false pretences that really saddens me.
I don't feel in any rush to go to bed with anyone yet. Making friends is much more important. For now I'd like to meet up socially and slowly build it from there. What's the hurry. I guess its each to their own. Some like to go at it like a bull in a china shop and thats fine. I like to take it my personality. I enjoy sex a lot more with a friend rather than someone I feel is a stranger.
Sex God
Quote by Outdoor_sex
When it comes to being a single man on a swinging site, do women feel that men like me are only here for sex?
I have started to get to know a couple of regulars here and enjoy getting to know people, but feel that when I start to chat with the female members they may feel that I’m only out for one thing. I’m not saying that I don’t want meets, of course I do :twisted: , but I do want to make new friends as well.
Do any other guys feel the same?
Or is it paranoia on my part.
It would be a natural conclusion to come to but I have learned there is more to this site than just sex.
Hallelujah!
Quote by Outdoor_sex
When it comes to being a single man on a swinging site, do women feel that men like me are only here for sex?
I have started to get to know a couple of regulars here and enjoy getting to know people, but feel that when I start to chat with the female members they may feel that I’m only out for one thing. I’m not saying that I don’t want meets, of course I do :twisted: , but I do want to make new friends as well.
Do any other guys feel the same?
Or is it paranoia on my part.
The bottom line for me is I did originally come here for sex.
I'm still here for sex! But I hope that I am beginning to form some friendships as well. What I feel this site gives me is a freedom to express myself and my thoughts in a 'forum' of like minded people, people who also love sex in its many delicious forms.
As another single guy (or perhaps everyone), if we are talking honestly to people who want to listen, then I dont think we have anything to worry about
that made sense in my head at least....
Quote by Misterwood
When it comes to being a single man on a swinging site, do women feel that men like me are only here for sex?
I have started to get to know a couple of regulars here and enjoy getting to know people, but feel that when I start to chat with the female members they may feel that I’m only out for one thing. I’m not saying that I don’t want meets, of course I do :twisted: , but I do want to make new friends as well.
Do any other guys feel the same?
Or is it paranoia on my part.
The bottom line for me is I did originally come here for sex.
Makes sense to me too.
The thing that gets to me is the duplicity, when someone tries to "mr nice guy/girl" you into bed because they know you wouldn't ordinarily sleep with them. It's happened more than once in RL too.
I'm still here for sex! But I hope that I am beginning to form some friendships as well. What I feel this site gives me is a freedom to express myself and my thoughts in a 'forum' of like minded people, people who also love sex in its many delicious forms.
As another single guy (or perhaps everyone), if we are talking honestly to people who want to listen, then I dont think we have anything to worry about
that made sense in my head at least....
Sex God
Quote by __random_orbit__
sex?
lp
No.
Lies and videotape though.
Quote by noladreams30
sex?
lp
No.
Lies and videotape though.
videotape is all good... but not without the sex... surely?
porn was made for it.
as for'lies'... never!
I'm here for the flower arranging classes... years Ive been waiting. Lots of odd folk about in the waiting room too... strange.
perhaps i should have chosen another evening class than "Flower" arranging? That way can only lead to trouble
lp
Casanova
If I am meeting a guy 1 to 1 then there needs to be chemistry and chemistry is not just about attraction. It is very rare that I have had sex with someone without having spoken to them first (if it has happened it's been in a club).
When meeting someone for the first time it is easier if you have built up a picture of that person and have a few points of conversation to refer to. Breaking the ice is probably the biggest obstacle, so it really does help to have chatted a bit in advance. How long for depends on availability on both sides.
It is a shame when some people make out they are looking for a real friendship only to disappear after the event though, it's not like you need to make things up to get what you want, as most of us don't mind meeting for sex lol. Maybe it's tough to break old habits?
When meeting someone for the first time it is easier if you have built up a picture of that person and have a few points of conversation to refer to. Breaking the ice is probably the biggest obstacle, so it really does help to have chatted a bit in advance. How long for depends on availability on both sides.
It is a shame when some people make out they are looking for a real friendship only to disappear after the event though, it's not like you need to make things up to get what you want, as most of us don't mind meeting for sex lol. Maybe it's tough to break old habits?
Quote by winchwench
When it comes to being a single man on a swinging site, do women feel that men like me are only here for sex?
I have started to get to know a couple of regulars here and enjoy getting to know people, but feel that when I start to chat with the female members they may feel that I’m only out for one thing. I’m not saying that I don’t want meets, of course I do :twisted: , but I do want to make new friends as well.
Do any other guys feel the same?
Or is it paranoia on my part.
The bottom line for me is I did originally come here for sex.
Makes sense to me too.
The thing that gets to me is the duplicity, when someone tries to "mr nice guy/girl" you into bed because they know you wouldn't ordinarily sleep with them. It's happened more than once in RL too.
I'm still here for sex! But I hope that I am beginning to form some friendships as well. What I feel this site gives me is a freedom to express myself and my thoughts in a 'forum' of like minded people, people who also love sex in its many delicious forms.
As another single guy (or perhaps everyone), if we are talking honestly to people who want to listen, then I dont think we have anything to worry about
that made sense in my head at least....
Winch, seems like you've put our bits together...:giggle:
ive found this alot lately,
you get messaged or start a convo in chat, its goes well, you click enough there to decide to meet up.
even do the social drink and arrange a meet up on another date.
then thats it once the dead is done they disapear.
no either im so terrible they cant face even chatting in chat or they were not what i think of as swingers but just here for sex.
now i know that my definition of swingers may not be everyones. but i make it very clear that i look for friendship with my swing partners.
whats even worse is when they cant even be bothered to say hi if they do come back nto chat.
maybe it the whole chase thrill for some and once done its finished with. including being polite enough to chat.
sorry ive rambled again.
im learning to be slower in meets, especially with new members.
xx fem xx
you get messaged or start a convo in chat, its goes well, you click enough there to decide to meet up.
even do the social drink and arrange a meet up on another date.
then thats it once the dead is done they disapear.
no either im so terrible they cant face even chatting in chat or they were not what i think of as swingers but just here for sex.
now i know that my definition of swingers may not be everyones. but i make it very clear that i look for friendship with my swing partners.
whats even worse is when they cant even be bothered to say hi if they do come back nto chat.
maybe it the whole chase thrill for some and once done its finished with. including being polite enough to chat.
sorry ive rambled again.
im learning to be slower in meets, especially with new members.
xx fem xx
Quote by Misterwood
When it comes to being a single man on a swinging site, do women feel that men like me are only here for sex?
I have started to get to know a couple of regulars here and enjoy getting to know people, but feel that when I start to chat with the female members they may feel that I’m only out for one thing. I’m not saying that I don’t want meets, of course I do :twisted: , but I do want to make new friends as well.
Do any other guys feel the same?
Or is it paranoia on my part.
The bottom line for me is I did originally come here for sex.
Makes sense to me too.
The thing that gets to me is the duplicity, when someone tries to "mr nice guy/girl" you into bed because they know you wouldn't ordinarily sleep with them. It's happened more than once in RL too.
I'm still here for sex! But I hope that I am beginning to form some friendships as well. What I feel this site gives me is a freedom to express myself and my thoughts in a 'forum' of like minded people, people who also love sex in its many delicious forms.
As another single guy (or perhaps everyone), if we are talking honestly to people who want to listen, then I dont think we have anything to worry about
that made sense in my head at least....
Winch, seems like you've put our bits together...:giggle:
Own up, who stole my wisdom? :dry:
Sex God
Quote by winchwench
I find it awful when you build what you thought was a friendship with someone only to find out later that they've just hung around because they were desperate to shag you.
I've been on the receiving end on several occasions, and its the friendship under false pretences that really saddens me.
Whats even worse is when you find that they only want ya verge
Quote by flower411
That`s weird :shock:
I was thinking of starting a thread along the same lines this morning !!
We generally meet with young men, for two reasons....
The main reason is that if I`m gonna watch mrs f shagging I want to watch her with a fit young man, simple as that.
The other reason is that she rather likes corrupting young men .....but shhhh, don`t tell anybody :lol: :lol:
So we are actually looking for young guys who are looking for gratuitous sex......we have to get on with them and we have to be able to have a laugh with them but when all is said and done...... they are providing an extra penis and that`s all there is to it.
Mrs f actually complained to me the other day that we had chatted for far to long once we had lured the young man back to the house !!! :shock: It musta been about 15 minutes from entering the house to everybody being naked !!
mmmm...I'm always happy just to be another penis! mrs f can corrupt this young man antime
Ive been here for a while, though not very active, its good to see a community build up and friendships made.
I have never met anyone from here or anywhere else on the Internet since the old msn chat rooms where killed, but Im feeling the social side of this site is quite good and having not looked in the forums much, it seems Im missing a whole new world lol.
Though I may be of the old school wanting to use eye contact as an attraction, then good old banter lol
I have never met anyone from here or anywhere else on the Internet since the old msn chat rooms where killed, but Im feeling the social side of this site is quite good and having not looked in the forums much, it seems Im missing a whole new world lol.
Though I may be of the old school wanting to use eye contact as an attraction, then good old banter lol
It's increadably rare for me to meet a guy I fancy enough to want to have sex with, in all the time I've been here I've yet to arrange a succesful meet with a single guy - so now I don't bother, saves me getting my hopes up and saves them accusing me of being a timewaster (even though I only ever arrange a social meet first). There have been guys I'd like to have become friends with, only to find they were only interested in spending time with me if they were going to get a shag out of it. One left me in the middle of town on my own after we'd arranged to go out for a social night out (which I thought had been made pretty damn clear) and he asked if I wanted to go back to his place - I said no, he just left. Charming.
I'm not sure which is worse, feigning friendship in the hope that you'll have sex with them or telling you straight up you're not worth spending time with unless the get to have sex.
H.x
I'm not sure which is worse, feigning friendship in the hope that you'll have sex with them or telling you straight up you're not worth spending time with unless the get to have sex.
H.x
Quote by Mr-Powers
My wife and i came here to find other couples interested in no strings sex,we were not really interested in building friendships with others...and that still hasn't changed...we have never met the same couple twice...and thats the way we like it and something we both decided together.
We are like this also, we came on this site to find other people for no strings sex, we usually make it clear we are not looking for friendship/meals/nights out. I think some people take offence when we say we dont meet up with people again and try to make it a challenge to get us to meet them again.
We dont usually meet anyone more than once we have made 1 or 2 excepions though
Quote by Mr-Powers
My wife and i came here to find other couples interested in no strings sex,we were not really interested in building friendships with others...and that still hasn't changed...we have never met the same couple twice...and thats the way we like it and something we both decided together.
I love your honesty :thumbup: (you ain't bad looking either and yes, you know me, but not in that sense)
I think ANYONE that posts here they are looking for just friends and shows any form of surprise when someone shows some form of sexual interest in them needs to get real and get onto FriendsReunited etc etc - let's be honest about what this site is about - friendships come as a result of initial motivations to join, NOT the other way around.
Quote by Outdoor_sex
When it comes to being a single man on a swinging site, do women feel that men like me are only here for sex?
I have started to get to know a couple of regulars here and enjoy getting to know people, but feel that when I start to chat with the female members they may feel that I’m only out for one thing. I’m not saying that I don’t want meets, of course I do :twisted: , but I do want to make new friends as well.
Do any other guys feel the same?
Or is it paranoia on my part.
i dont really think thats a easily answered question, man, woman or couple some come for just sex some come for friendship too.
I love the social side of swinging and have made many good friends off this site thro the munches/socials but for some reason i can't have sex with people i have met and know as friends, i know that odd and i have my reasons even tho everyone says that daft they are real to me, i'm quite a insecure person and just can't get naked infront of people i have to meet again, and when you go to socials you do tend to see the same face timeover so i prefure to use the site for the social side and use clubs etc for sex and not mix the two.
Sex God
Quote by sparky33
I'm not on here to make friends I'm on here for what the site was intended for), but if I happen to do so along the way, all the better.
so what was the site intended for? after all, I see everything on this site from dogging, voyeurism and exhibitionists thru to bdsm and orgies.......social events and munches thru to private parties and gangbangs..
I think you'll find that the site was intended for everyone with an interest in swinging.... which is a lot larger that you seem to think
if you are not here to make friends but get what you want then good for you...... if everyone was here to do it the same way then life would be boring........
Quote by sparky33
Well I would consider the site to have been originally set up to allow people to broaden their sexual horizons, and to meet those of a like mind, not as a social networking site.
Forgive me if I'm wrong.
Agreed :thumbup:
It's like saying "I went into B&Q because I needed to buy some new shoes!"
'Horses for courses.... ' springs to mind :P
Quote by sparky33
Well I would consider the site to have been originally set up to allow people to broaden their sexual horizons, and to meet those of a like mind, not as a social networking site.
Forgive me if I'm wrong.
i also agree but what we want to do and when it comes to the crunch what we can do isn't always the same thing, i joined the site for the reasons you said to meet like minded people for sex but when it came to it i didn't find it as easy as i thought it would be, i would love to be the kind of woman who could just come on, find someone i like and shag but my own insecurities prevent me from doing that, which is why i'd rather just use club that way people can see you, know what you look like and you havn't got the hasstle and disappointment of not being like, like you have if you meet on here, saying that i have met loads of people from this site but people don't look for the same in a person they socialize with as they do in 'play mates'
Like said above Horses for courses isn't it?
Quote by H-x
It's increadably rare for me to meet a guy I fancy enough to want to have sex with, in all the time I've been here I've yet to arrange a succesful meet with a single guy - so now I don't bother, saves me getting my hopes up and saves them accusing me of being a timewaster (even though I only ever arrange a social meet first). There have been guys I'd like to have become friends with, only to find they were only interested in spending time with me if they were going to get a shag out of it. One left me in the middle of town on my own after we'd arranged to go out for a social night out (which I thought had been made pretty damn clear) and he asked if I wanted to go back to his place - I said no, he just left. Charming.
I'm not sure which is worse, feigning friendship in the hope that you'll have sex with them or telling you straight up you're not worth spending time with unless the get to have sex.
H.x
Totally relate to what your saying H-x
Bluddy awful of him to have left like that too!!! I've met a few odd guys for drinks etc saying upfront it means a drink only an that's it...most just don't understand the concept of a drink!!! So I'm getting choosy who I meet for the occasional drink now!
Quote by H-x
It's increadably rare for me to meet a guy I fancy enough to want to have sex with, in all the time I've been here I've yet to arrange a succesful meet with a single guy - so now I don't bother, saves me getting my hopes up and saves them accusing me of being a timewaster (even though I only ever arrange a social meet first). There have been guys I'd like to have become friends with, only to find they were only interested in spending time with me if they were going to get a shag out of it. One left me in the middle of town on my own after we'd arranged to go out for a social night out (which I thought had been made pretty damn clear) and he asked if I wanted to go back to his place - I said no, he just left. Charming.
I'm not sure which is worse, feigning friendship in the hope that you'll have sex with them or telling you straight up you're not worth spending time with unless the get to have sex.
H.x
Empathy coming your way! :thumbup:
Quote by H-x
It's increadably rare for me to meet a guy I fancy enough to want to have sex with, in all the time I've been here I've yet to arrange a succesful meet with a single guy - so now I don't bother, saves me getting my hopes up and saves them accusing me of being a timewaster (even though I only ever arrange a social meet first). There have been guys I'd like to have become friends with, only to find they were only interested in spending time with me if they were going to get a shag out of it. One left me in the middle of town on my own after we'd arranged to go out for a social night out (which I thought had been made pretty damn clear) and he asked if I wanted to go back to his place - I said no, he just left. Charming.
I'm not sure which is worse, feigning friendship in the hope that you'll have sex with them or telling you straight up you're not worth spending time with unless the get to have sex.
H.x
I wish you were closer, I'd offer you a platonic coffee any day (especially if it's a Costa!).
