SIngle Swingers ?

20 Aug 2005

Hi all.
I have a question that I wondered if anyone had any opinions on. Simply put, Do you think single people,wether male or female, can be classed as swingers ?
I will explain my thinking very shortly but can I start by saying that I do not thnk swinging communities should be exclusivley for couples, we have met and still do meet single people of both sex's and am in no way either critisising or condeming them.
To my mind swinging, as the name suggests is a 2 way thing, you give and you recieve, my wife does such n such and i do so forth etc....but can a single person be able to claim that same relationship, does the give and take interoperate between 2 parties or is it just recreational sex and not actually swinging.
I found this definition for swinging :
swingÂ·ing (swngng) Slang
adj.
1. Spirited; up-to-date.
2. Attracting a lively, trendy crowd: a swinging nightclub.
3.
a. Sexually promiscuous.
b. Practicing exchange of partners, especially spouses, for sex.
Its the point b that I am interested in... so what do you all think ?

20 Aug 2005

Yes, I think singles should be classed as swingers. We did this topic some time ago and without trawling back and looking what I put then for inspiration, my opinion is definately still the same (I think wink

). I've swung as a singly and as a couple and for me swinging is definately an attitude not just a type of behaviour.. Although some singles (OK.... guys, it has to be said) get into advertising on swingers sites cos they think it will mean an easy shag (WRONG! :wink: ), there are MANY singles on the scene who definately have the swinging "attitude".
I would be annoyed if people did not think I was as swinger just cos I do it as a single... evil

"Swingle" is the word for single swinging, is it not :lol2:

21 Aug 2005

Quote by bluexxx
"Swingle" is the word for single swinging, is it not :lol2:

Is that as in the 'Swingle Swingers' wink

ops: Shit - showing my age here - please don't anybody point out how long ago it was!

21 Aug 2005

Quote by westerross

"Swingle" is the word for single swinging, is it not :lol2:

Is that as in the 'Swingle Swingers' wink

ops: Shit - showing my age here - please don't anybody point out how long ago it was!Ooh, ooh, ooh. How much is it worth? Oh, alright then.
Will
PS Mainly keeping quiet because I immediately thought of the 'Swingle Singers' too!! :oops: :oops:

21 Aug 2005

* db stands up in the group
"Hi. My name's dambuster, and I'm a Swingle"
All Hail the wise words of blue - "It's an attitude"
I'm actually very fortunate in that I have good enough and understanding enough "friends" that I'm able to play as part of a couple or as a genuine single (as opposed to a pad "that also plays alone" ) so am able to see quite a lot from both sides of the fence.
And yes - I really do appreciate just how fortunate I am.

Quote by sleazy
To my mind swinging, as the name suggests is a 2 way thing, you give and you recieve, my wife does such n such and i do so forth etc....but can a single person be able to claim that same relationship, does the give and take inter operate between 2 parties or is it just recreational sex and not actually swinging.

Clearly, if I'm playing as part of a "couple" or "pair" - the question doesn't apply. But if I'm playing as a single - of course there's still the give and take, especially if I join an established couple, but even if it's just me and A. N. Other. Possibly even more so. Particularly if it's a repeat visit, where the friendship and relationship is being deepened. Don't forget - we "Swingles" sometimes have to work just as hard at balancing the physical and emotional aspect of the lifestyle, as married or committed couples; sometimes harder, IMO. Albeit from a different angle.

21 Aug 2005

Quote by dambuster
Don't forget - we "Swingles" sometimes have to work just as hard at balancing the physical and emotional aspect of the lifestyle, as married or committed couples; sometimes harder, IMO. Albeit from a different angle.

I should imagine it could be harder. As a single you've not talked the whole thing through with a partner and agreed the boundaries etc

21 Aug 2005

As a single involved in the lovely world of swinging, I see it like this....
Singles that just look for one-2-one meets and nothing more are just shagging.
Singles who look for more - more people, more variety, more experiences other than the usualy M+F having intercourse combo - are now moving away from just looking for a shag and looking for their own swinging experiences. (it has to be said though - single guys looking for their dream MFF are not included in this theory for obvious reasons)
Singles that can manage being mates with people and having the bonus of having sex with them in small or large numbers is a large part of being a swinger, as far as singles are concerned - but not all of it.
As bluexxx has explained - it is an attitude.
Polo - self-confessed "Swingle"

21 Aug 2005

Just to expand on this.........
Just one example:
I have a male friend ( more than one actually :twisted: - but lets just focus on this one for a start). I meet him sometimes on his own - for a shag (and a damn fine shag it is too). I do not consider this swinging.
I also meet him and we go to the club together - to swing. At the club we invite others to join us (as a sexually active couple) or we devide and get involved in different groups. On a really good night we get involved in such a large group it is hard to tell if the other one is still in the room or not :twisted: Whatever we get up to at the club, we seem to share the experience on a more than physical level. We then leave the club and go back to being singles again.
I am now having trouble trying to explain the other points I want to make - so lets go back to the previous statement - it is an attitude. lol

21 Aug 2005

I just had to post on this being a "swingle" myself...lol
I, if im honest wouldn't class myself as a "full time swinger" as meeting new different people not something i want to be doing every week... but on the other hand i wouldn't class it as just looking for nothing more than a "shagging" either. If thats what i was looking for... I would just go out in blackpool every weekend and pick 1 up.
I do like 121 meets but also like 3sums with cpls too... Altho up to date i haven't met many cpls or single for that matter... Not that im a timewaster as people who have met me will know... but mainly coz i won't just "shag" anythin that comes along... and also being a "swingle" fem i find it quite scary... Like i always explain to cpls, It's much easier for them as they have eachother to lean on.. So therefore, I believe in getting to know the people and building a friendship and feeling comfortable with one and other before jumping into bed.
Anyhow thats just my view on the way i work...lol

21 Aug 2005

Pretty new to this, so I have a point of view that might be appropriate.
Not here for casual shags - but also don't want to find myself tied up to one person again.
And I agree with Blue - it's definitely not an easy shag either! Not that I've tried yet, but I imagine this isn't the place to find an "easy" - the wonem are too discerning for a start.
I'm looking forward to finding one, two or more people I can feel comfortable with and then take it from there. Wherever that might be.

21 Aug 2005

Two questions I keep asking myself seem to sort out this argument in my mind for myself. (This is just my opinion, so I wouldn't try to push it onto anyone else)
a) Could I give up the sexual side of swinging?
b) Could I give up the social side of swinging?
The answer to a) is, yes I could. As most people who know me, know that I never play at my own parties and VERY rarely play at other parties, but I absolutely adore the lifestyle and could probably never go back to being a "vanilla" again
biggrin

The answer to b) is No I couldn't. I see swinging as a lifestyle option. I could never give the social side up as I have made too many good friends on here.
As Bluexxx so eloquently put it. It's an attitude.
Marcuso

21 Aug 2005

Quote by Marcuso
The answer to a) is, yes I could. As most people who know me, know that I never play at my own parties and VERY rarely play at other parties, but I absolutely adore the lifestyle and could probably never go back to being a "vanilla" again

Is there a word missing from that statement (anymore) lol

:lol: :lol:

21 Aug 2005

Quote by PoloLady

The answer to a) is, yes I could. As most people who know me, know that I never play at my own parties and VERY rarely play at other parties, but I absolutely adore the lifestyle and could probably never go back to being a "vanilla" again

Is there a word missing from that statement (anymore) lol

:lol: :lol:
LOL...That was the morning AFTER a party sweetheart
Now stop trying to put words into my mouth unless the words happen to be "nipple" or "clitoris"......lol

21 Aug 2005

Quote by Marcuso
LOL...That was the morning AFTER a party sweetheart
Now stop trying to put words into my mouth unless the words happen to be "nipple" or "clitoris"......lol

nipple........clitoris.....does that work for you marcuso...lol
as for an answer to the thread, doesn't matter whether you are single, couple etc.....for me swinging is fun, its not just sex but lifestyle too (as marcuso said)
swinging is what you want it to be and what you are happy and comfortable with, i dont beleive its a statement more a hobby ;)

21 Aug 2005

Quote by Marcuso
Two questions I keep asking myself seem to sort out this argument in my mind for myself. (This is just my opinion, so I wouldn't try to push it onto anyone else)
a) Could I give up the sexual side of swinging?
b) Could I give up the social side of swinging?
The answer to a) is, yes I could. As most people who know me, know that I never play at my own parties and VERY rarely play at other parties, but I absolutely adore the lifestyle and could probably never go back to being a "vanilla" again

The answer to b) is No I couldn't. I see swinging as a lifestyle option. I could never give the social side up as I have made too many good friends on here.
As Bluexxx so eloquently put it. It's an attitude.
Marcuso

Well said Marcuso... I couldn't agree more :D I could never give up the social side of it...

21 Aug 2005

Quote by sleazy
Hi all.
I have a question that I wondered if anyone had any opinions on. Simply put, Do you think single people,wether male or female, can be classed as swingers ?
I will explain my thinking very shortly but can I start by saying that I do not thnk swinging communities should be exclusivley for couples, we have met and still do meet single people of both sex's and am in no way either critisising or condeming them.
To my mind swinging, as the name suggests is a 2 way thing, you give and you recieve, my wife does such n such and i do so forth etc....but can a single person be able to claim that same relationship, does the give and take interoperate between 2 parties or is it just recreational sex and not actually swinging.
I found this definition for swinging :
swingÂ·ing (swngng) Slang
adj.
1. Spirited; up-to-date.
2. Attracting a lively, trendy crowd: a swinging nightclub.
3.
a. Sexually promiscuous.
b. Practicing exchange of partners, especially spouses, for sex.
Its the point b that I am interested in... so what do you all think ?

I think that this has been ably covered by other members already.... it is the mind-set / attitude of the person regardless of whether they happen to be married, in a swinging relationship or a singlie...... As long as all parties are fully cognisant of all the facts then it matters not what their status is........
equi-princess xxx

21 Aug 2005

Does all this mean I'm a swinger then? I usually tell people here I'm not so they know I'm not trying to get into their knickers dunno

Identity crisis looming!!

21 Aug 2005

Quote by LilMissGullable
Two questions I keep asking myself seem to sort out this argument in my mind for myself. (This is just my opinion, so I wouldn't try to push it onto anyone else)
a) Could I give up the sexual side of swinging?
b) Could I give up the social side of swinging?
The answer to a) is, yes I could. As most people who know me, know that I never play at my own parties and VERY rarely play at other parties, but I absolutely adore the lifestyle and could probably never go back to being a "vanilla" again

The answer to b) is No I couldn't. I see swinging as a lifestyle option. I could never give the social side up as I have made too many good friends on here.
As Bluexxx so eloquently put it. It's an attitude.
Marcuso

Well said Marcuso... I couldn't agree more :D I could never give up the social side of it...
DITTO :swingingchair:

21 Aug 2005

I think single can swing however saying that i find far to many people ie married and cheating, use swinging sites as a quick lay site, now to me they are not swingers, being a swingers means more that getting a shag from a swingers site if that makes any sence confused

But with the right attitude many single make good swingers wink

21 Aug 2005

As others have said, it IS an attitude. Seeing as we are discussing singles in the swinging scene, i'd throw this into the equation.
That if a single became part of a couple, would they carry on swinging?? I know I don't want to meet someone Vanilla who isn't interested in swinging. I'm not precluding that as ever happening, but for me now, it would be a nightmare. I couldn't go back to the time i was in a relationship and it was strictly monogomous.
I like the openness, fun and social side of swinging. I can't imagine giving that up. I'm still learning and I'm enjoying the journey. Take away any part of it and it seems dull and empty.

21 Aug 2005

I am married but my wife and I usually swing separately so I suppose this makes me an honary swingle.
I think at least as far as this forum is concerned the term "swinger" should read : Sexually liberated adult who is interested in exploring his/her sexuality and talking to like-minded friends.
The site is for swingers but I think on here a lot of us are coming from so many different backgrounds and looking for different things that it makes the forum a big melting pot which can only be a good thing. biggrin

Roger the Dragon. cool

21 Aug 2005

Quote by rogerthedragon
I am married but my wife and I usually swing separately so I suppose this makes me an honary swingle.
I think at least as far as this forum is concerned the term "swinger" should read : Sexually liberated adult who is interested in exploring his/her sexuality and talking to like-minded friends.

That sounds like a pretty good definition to me, I certainly found the one at the start of this thread to be lacking.
I suppose I'm a similar position to you as regards single/couple status except that my other half doesn't swing or have the time/energy for a hectic social life, though she's cool with me doing so on my own.

21 Aug 2005

I'm a single female and have the chance to swing as part of a couple or on my own.
But I also enjoy the friendships I make with certain male/s on this site. :P

21 Aug 2005

Quote by Sarah
I'm a single female and have the chance to swing as part of a couple or on my own.
But I also enjoy the friendships I make with certian male/s on this site. :P

Sarah crawls out from beneath a heap of PMs with a bewildered expression. wink

21 Aug 2005

Just to put a little twist into the original question.
What if there is a married couple and only one half of the couple is interested in having sexual relationships outside of their relationship and only meets singles for 1-2-1's. Would anyone consider this swinging? rolleyes

21 Aug 2005

Quote by rogerthedragon
I'm a single female and have the chance to swing as part of a couple or on my own.
But I also enjoy the friendships I make with certain male/s on this site. :P

Sarah crawls out from beneath a heap of PMs with a bewildered expression. wink

Roger
There must be something wrong with the pm system lol

............. only had one so far!!!!! :P
Mark, Mark, there is something wrong with the pm system

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
May be I am doing something wrong, or being toooooooo fussy :shock:

21 Aug 2005

Quote by PoloLady
Just to put a little twist into the original question.
What if there is a married couple and only one half of the couple is interested in having sexual relationships outside of their relationship and only meets singles for 1-2-1's. Would anyone consider this swinging?

Would the other half know about it? If not... it depends on the individual circumstances, but i guess not. Though maybe the term closet-swinger is needed for this situation...
just don't break the hanging rail...

21 Aug 2005

Quote by PoloLady
Just to put a little twist into the original question.
What if there is a married couple and only one half of the couple is interested in having sexual relationships outside of their relationship and only meets singles for 1-2-1's. Would anyone consider this swinging?

No, it's just extra-marital sex, with or without the partner's consent (just plain cheating if it's without consent or knowledge).

21 Aug 2005

OK another age old debate starting, but just to agree with Marcuso:
a) Could I give up the sexual side of swinging?
Don't have this on pain of pain smile

b) Could I give up the social side of swinging?
Love this side to bits, there is nothing better than a swinger for open conversation and friendship.

21 Aug 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
OK another age old debate starting, but just to agree with Marcuso:
a) Could I give up the sexual side of swinging?
Don't have this on pain of pain
b) Could I give up the social side of swinging?
Love this side to bits, there is nothing better than a swinger for open conversation and friendship.

Would you consider that you (and others who chat on here) are a swinger?
I don't mean any offence, just a question that's all. I think Sleazy was talking about the people who have sex as singles, with others.