Since I came on this site I have been very honest to say that I am ideally looking for a regular lover/playmate to date and join me on an adult adventure!
I have been slammed several times for this and been told that it is not possible...
Well actually that's how I got onto this site in the first place; the guy I was dating at the time had previously been a swinger and we were going to swing as a couple.
Unfortunately as life is, he had to go abroad for work so the dating obviously stopped lol
My experience so far though has been that most single guys on here are just after disconnected NSA, FBs and vanilla sex... not exploration or regular openminded fun.
It has been a bit of a letdown tbh with way too much BS and timewasting.
Not sure if its just this site or if most of the single guys are like this in the swinging community as a whole, but I got more honest sex and open minded fun from vanilla dating sites where guys were seeking more fullfilment than the next shag or conquest.
Anyway back on my dating sites again now to turn a dater into a swinger, as turning a swinger into a dater is just not happening for me lol
Pam xx
In the immortal words of John Lennon... ' You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one!' :-D
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Single swingers dating?
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Orgasminator
although i feel this is not the kind of thing that you should be looking for ... its swinging not a dating site ... perhaps find a guy in vanilla world then approach the subject of swinging .. probably easier for a woman to approach than a guy trying to convince a girl to swing.
but also saying that its how i met my currant partner was through swinging and i know of others who have as well .. some have carried on swinging others have stopped completely, others have stopped for a while to get to know each other before they swing.
i never went looking for a relationship while i was swinging as a single as i was having far too much fun being greedy having all the attention from single males and couples. good luck in what you search for but as the female of a couple knowing you were looking for a relationship i am sorry to say but i would avoid you and not allow my partner to play with you either, purely based on the fact you are looking for a relationship and i dont want my own relationship threatened no matter how much i love and trust him i just dont want or need the hassle.....please dont take this as having a go am just giving my opinion on how i would feel you playing with the intentions you have
but also saying that its how i met my currant partner was through swinging and i know of others who have as well .. some have carried on swinging others have stopped completely, others have stopped for a while to get to know each other before they swing.
i never went looking for a relationship while i was swinging as a single as i was having far too much fun being greedy having all the attention from single males and couples. good luck in what you search for but as the female of a couple knowing you were looking for a relationship i am sorry to say but i would avoid you and not allow my partner to play with you either, purely based on the fact you are looking for a relationship and i dont want my own relationship threatened no matter how much i love and trust him i just dont want or need the hassle.....please dont take this as having a go am just giving my opinion on how i would feel you playing with the intentions you have
Master of Sex
I think most single men are on here for recreational sex rather than swinging. Probably a lot of women too.
So I do think you will have better luck meeting a guy in the vanilla world and luring him into the swinging one.
My on-again-off-again Mr Man wants me back when he returns to the uk. So I straightaway introduced him to this scene and SH and told him if we're to be on again, "this", is something i want to be a part of our relationship- to what extent is something we'll work out when we're together- I'm not about to force anything on him or any other man. It has to be a mutual comfortable enjoyment.
I may have 6months ago been one of those guilty of just looking for recreational sex, but I'm now realising that it would be hard to take a step backwards and find a partner in the vanilla world and forget about all this!!
Would any of the loved up couples like to put themselves forward as site matchmakers?
So I do think you will have better luck meeting a guy in the vanilla world and luring him into the swinging one.
My on-again-off-again Mr Man wants me back when he returns to the uk. So I straightaway introduced him to this scene and SH and told him if we're to be on again, "this", is something i want to be a part of our relationship- to what extent is something we'll work out when we're together- I'm not about to force anything on him or any other man. It has to be a mutual comfortable enjoyment.
I may have 6months ago been one of those guilty of just looking for recreational sex, but I'm now realising that it would be hard to take a step backwards and find a partner in the vanilla world and forget about all this!!
Would any of the loved up couples like to put themselves forward as site matchmakers?
Sexlightened
It's a fine line. Like many you say you are looking for regular fun and exploration ... you can have this without a "relationship" and for me this is what swinging should be about.
I do believe some will pick up on the fact you want a relationship, i suspect quite a few people on here deep down probably do ... they will then feed you the BS and then run a mile when they have got what they want, leaving you in a sense of bewilderment.
As Sara points out some do find a partner through swinging, but it isn't what you should be looking for. Like real life, relationships should "happen" not be forced. It's harder to develop a relationship here than in real life and then introduce swinging. But many have achieved it ... many others have failed.
It's all about looking inside first as to what you want and then being honest with others when you know.
The main thing i've found about this site is that it's the best place to do that as the "genuine" people aren't just after their next conquest.
It's good to talk they say and by throwing out your thoughts here you have started the journey
Good luck
xxx
I do believe some will pick up on the fact you want a relationship, i suspect quite a few people on here deep down probably do ... they will then feed you the BS and then run a mile when they have got what they want, leaving you in a sense of bewilderment.
As Sara points out some do find a partner through swinging, but it isn't what you should be looking for. Like real life, relationships should "happen" not be forced. It's harder to develop a relationship here than in real life and then introduce swinging. But many have achieved it ... many others have failed.
It's all about looking inside first as to what you want and then being honest with others when you know.
The main thing i've found about this site is that it's the best place to do that as the "genuine" people aren't just after their next conquest.
It's good to talk they say and by throwing out your thoughts here you have started the journey
Good luck
xxx Hi Sara,
Just to clarify I am not playing with couples but am making connections with fems, couples and males as friends; even if I was I am not desperate to latch onto every guy I have sex with attached or unattached lol
I understand your personal worries of a single fem getting hooked on your man, but I am looking for 'single' guys only to connect with
I am not on this site to find NSA one offs but to see someone regularly with an open mind to connecting(dating)with someone else who would like to swing.
In my personal experience have found this elusive on this site, and have been told by many single gals that this is also their experience.
I have had some great meets with some great guys on this site and had some good fun, but my point is I am not on here to shag my way through the population, more so to to meet someone who has the same openess to dating as me and doesnt have a brickwall up
Pam xx
Just to clarify I am not playing with couples but am making connections with fems, couples and males as friends; even if I was I am not desperate to latch onto every guy I have sex with attached or unattached lol
I understand your personal worries of a single fem getting hooked on your man, but I am looking for 'single' guys only to connect with
I am not on this site to find NSA one offs but to see someone regularly with an open mind to connecting(dating)with someone else who would like to swing.
In my personal experience have found this elusive on this site, and have been told by many single gals that this is also their experience.
I have had some great meets with some great guys on this site and had some good fun, but my point is I am not on here to shag my way through the population, more so to to meet someone who has the same openess to dating as me and doesnt have a brickwall up
Pam xx
Quote by M1ssVery
I think most single men are on here for recreational sex rather than swinging. Probably a lot of women too.
So I do think you will have better luck meeting a guy in the vanilla world and luring him into the swinging one.
My on-again-off-again Mr Man wants me back when he returns to the uk. So I straightaway introduced him to this scene and SH and told him if we're to be on again, "this", is something i want to be a part of our relationship- to what extent is something we'll work out when we're together- I'm not about to force anything on him or any other man. It has to be a mutual comfortable enjoyment.
I may have 6months ago been one of those guilty of just looking for recreational sex, but I'm now realising that it would be hard to take a step backwards and find a partner in the vanilla world and forget about all this!!
Would any of the loved up couples like to put themselves forward as site matchmakers?
lol MissV
Yeah by co-incidence my ex is back from abroad too and wanting to hook back up again, maybe we should take them to a club together :P
Recreational sex is sooooooo easy to just walk out the door for, come on our night out and how many guys were up for it?!?!? :twisted:
Maybe we should start that swingers dating buisness now, for non vanilla daters lol
Suedie: I am not looking for a relationship, but looking for guys that are atleast open to one happening organically; you will find that alot men on here put up a brickwall to one from the get go and run a mile from even the possibilty of connecting ;)
I am not here to be a FB and I cant be asked to try to push jelly uphill :P
Pam xx
Disclaimer: All in my personal experience and opinion!
Master of Sex
Quote by PamelaD
I think most single men are on here for recreational sex rather than swinging. Probably a lot of women too.
So I do think you will have better luck meeting a guy in the vanilla world and luring him into the swinging one.
My on-again-off-again Mr Man wants me back when he returns to the uk. So I straightaway introduced him to this scene and SH and told him if we're to be on again, "this", is something i want to be a part of our relationship- to what extent is something we'll work out when we're together- I'm not about to force anything on him or any other man. It has to be a mutual comfortable enjoyment.
I may have 6months ago been one of those guilty of just looking for recreational sex, but I'm now realising that it would be hard to take a step backwards and find a partner in the vanilla world and forget about all this!!
Would any of the loved up couples like to put themselves forward as site matchmakers?
lol MissV
Yeah by co-incidence my ex is back from abroad too and wanting to hook back up again, maybe we should take them to a club together :P
Beat you to it! I took him to a club AND got him to play on cam :twisted: I was very impressed that he will happily embrace this and explore with me..just need to sort all the mundane vanilla issues we have first now :lol:
Master of Sex
Quote by sara2010
ave stopped for a while to get to know each other before they swing.
i never went looking for a relationship while i was swinging as a single as i was having far too much fun being greedy having all the attention from single males and couples. good luck in what you search for but as the female of a couple knowing you were looking for a relationship i am sorry to say but i would avoid you and not allow my partner to play with you either, purely based on the fact you are looking for a relationship and i dont want my own relationship threatened no matter how much i love and trust him i just dont want or need the hassle.....please dont take this as having a go am just giving my opinion on how i would feel you playing with the intentions you have
Maybe you don't trust him enough then??
Everyone wants to find love and happiness and if you are going to eliminate single women on that basis I fear there won't be many left to play with?
I don't think it's realistic (or fair)to say you won't play with an individual who is also, in their life, looking for what you have with your partner..
Quote by M1ssVery
ave stopped for a while to get to know each other before they swing.
i never went looking for a relationship while i was swinging as a single as i was having far too much fun being greedy having all the attention from single males and couples. good luck in what you search for but as the female of a couple knowing you were looking for a relationship i am sorry to say but i would avoid you and not allow my partner to play with you either, purely based on the fact you are looking for a relationship and i dont want my own relationship threatened no matter how much i love and trust him i just dont want or need the hassle.....please dont take this as having a go am just giving my opinion on how i would feel you playing with the intentions you have
Maybe you don't trust him enough then??
Everyone wants to find love and happiness and if you are going to eliminate single women on that basis I fear there won't be many left to play with?
I don't think it's realistic (or fair)to say you won't play with an individual who is also, in their life, looking for what you have with your partner..
Fair point MissV, maybe we should all lie about having any separate feelings or wanting to connect with anyone ever for fear of them thinking any meet could lead to a 'relationship' of some kind lol
Quote by M1ssVery
ave stopped for a while to get to know each other before they swing.
i never went looking for a relationship while i was swinging as a single as i was having far too much fun being greedy having all the attention from single males and couples. good luck in what you search for but as the female of a couple knowing you were looking for a relationship i am sorry to say but i would avoid you and not allow my partner to play with you either, purely based on the fact you are looking for a relationship and i dont want my own relationship threatened no matter how much i love and trust him i just dont want or need the hassle.....please dont take this as having a go am just giving my opinion on how i would feel you playing with the intentions you have
Maybe you don't trust him enough then??
Everyone wants to find love and happiness and if you are going to eliminate single women on that basis I fear there won't be many left to play with?
I don't think it's realistic (or fair)to say you won't play with an individual who is also, in their life, looking for what you have with your partner..
I have to agree with sara here. Ian is allowed to play with who he likes and can see someone several times if thats what they decide.
However, she has to be a swinger looking for sex and not someone looking for a relationship. I'm not worried by Ian's behaviour because I trust him completely. I don't want a lady constantly wanting contact with Ian or needing a relationship between the times they would play.
Sexlightened
:thumbup: This is how i read Sara's post too ... not about not trusting but about the "hassle" it may bring
Maybe you don't trust him enough then??
Everyone wants to find love and happiness and if you are going to eliminate single women on that basis I fear there won't be many left to play with?
I don't think it's realistic (or fair)to say you won't play with an individual who is also, in their life, looking for what you have with your partner..
I have to agree with sara here. Ian is allowed to play with who he likes and can see someone several times if thats what they decide.
However, she has to be a swinger looking for sex and not someone looking for a relationship. I'm not worried by Ian's behaviour because I trust him completely. I don't want a lady constantly wanting contact with Ian or needing a relationship between the times they would play.
Quote by Dawnie
ave stopped for a while to get to know each other before they swing.
i never went looking for a relationship while i was swinging as a single as i was having far too much fun being greedy having all the attention from single males and couples. good luck in what you search for but as the female of a couple knowing you were looking for a relationship i am sorry to say but i would avoid you and not allow my partner to play with you either, purely based on the fact you are looking for a relationship and i dont want my own relationship threatened no matter how much i love and trust him i just dont want or need the hassle.....please dont take this as having a go am just giving my opinion on how i would feel you playing with the intentions you have
Maybe you don't trust him enough then??
Everyone wants to find love and happiness and if you are going to eliminate single women on that basis I fear there won't be many left to play with?
I don't think it's realistic (or fair)to say you won't play with an individual who is also, in their life, looking for what you have with your partner..
I have to agree with sara here. Ian is allowed to play with who he likes and can see someone several times if thats what they decide.
However, she has to be a swinger looking for sex and not someone looking for a relationship. I'm not worried by Ian's behaviour because I trust him completely. I don't want a lady constantly wanting contact with Ian or needing a relationship between the times they would play.
Sexlightened
Quote by PamelaD
Doesnt make sense...... so as a single woman because you are open to a connecting with a single guy, that should rule you out of playing with other men and couples on the side in a purely casual way????
Pam .. if that's what a single female is after then i'm sure, Sara for example, would be happy playing.
Many look to fill the gap with swinging while looking for something, others just want the fun of playing full stop.
Your original post makes it look as if you are just looking for a "relationship." This is what Sara responded to. Regular dating with someone to see if a connection is made is a relationship in my book.
People aren't having a dig but are trying to offer advice, swinging isn`t the easiest to reconcile with feelings at the best of times but it's important to know what you want in yourself before this has an impact on others ... i think this was Sara's point
Hope that makes sense and isn`t taken as a dig xxx
Sexlightened
Good Topic by the way !
Hopefully others will contribute so it doesn't get bogged down with personalities
Hopefully others will contribute so it doesn't get bogged down with personalities
Master of Sex
Quote by Dawnie
ave stopped for a while to get to know each other before they swing.
i never went looking for a relationship while i was swinging as a single as i was having far too much fun being greedy having all the attention from single males and couples. good luck in what you search for but as the female of a couple knowing you were looking for a relationship i am sorry to say but i would avoid you and not allow my partner to play with you either, purely based on the fact you are looking for a relationship and i dont want my own relationship threatened no matter how much i love and trust him i just dont want or need the hassle.....please dont take this as having a go am just giving my opinion on how i would feel you playing with the intentions you have
Maybe you don't trust him enough then??
Everyone wants to find love and happiness and if you are going to eliminate single women on that basis I fear there won't be many left to play with?
I don't think it's realistic (or fair)to say you won't play with an individual who is also, in their life, looking for what you have with your partner..
I have to agree with sara here. Ian is allowed to play with who he likes and can see someone several times if thats what they decide.
However, she has to be a swinger looking for sex and not someone looking for a relationship. I'm not worried by Ian's behaviour because I trust him completely. I don't want a lady constantly wanting contact with Ian or needing a relationship between the times they would play.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but how is this realistic? She cant want both, you did. And Unless you have some sort of magic portal channeled through her moomoo and into the woman's mind, how would you know what's she's really after :dunno:
Sara I think there is difference between wanting a relationship and going out stealing men off their partners! Is that perhaps what you mean?..
And yes, enjoying this topic! Helps discussing it poolside in the sun hehe x
Quote by Suedehead
Doesnt make sense...... so as a single woman because you are open to a connecting with a single guy, that should rule you out of playing with other men and couples on the side in a purely casual way????
Pam .. if that's what a single female is after then i'm sure, Sara for example, would be happy playing.
Many look to fill the gap with swinging while looking for something, others just want the fun of playing full stop.
Your original post makes it look as if you are just looking for a "relationship." This is what Sara responded to. Regular dating with someone to see if a connection is made is a relationship in my book.
People aren't having a dig but are trying to offer advice, swinging isn`t the easiest to reconcile with feelings at the best of times but it's important to know what you want in yourself before this has an impact on others ... i think this was Sara's point
Hope that makes sense and isn`t taken as a dig xxx
Suedie this is a debate, I like to bring up contentious subjects that sit underlying
Oh and 'regular dating to see if a connection is made' is not a relationship in my book just normal dating and I do that with several people at once ....... a relationship is way further on if you both agree you want one and put all others aside for a bit to focus in ;) lol
Sex God
I think there are plenty of folk on here who would be looking for someone to date and swing with. There are equally as many who are looking for something more along the lines of a fuck-buddy or NSA type arrangement.
It's just a case of being patient and finding them, I reckon.
It's just a case of being patient and finding them, I reckon.
Sex God
Don't let anyone on here tell you what YOUR approach to this life should/must be. It's your choice. If you are open to things that others aren't - great. If they want something you don't - also great.
The only thing anyone (everyone?) should be applying to their links and connections in here is honesty - to themselves as much as to others.
As for "You can't develop or be open to developing a long term relationship with a swing-partner". That's a load of crap. When I started swinging I was single (let's not get into the 'singles can't swing' debate) and also on dating sites. I shagged guys from the dating site (was that not allowed?) and I was always open to a relationship from here (also not allowed?).
I met some lovely guys on here. I am still very good friends with some of them. I am in a long-term relationship with one of them. Others I played with, enjoyed, and haven't kept in touch with.
The idea that anyone else with a membership on here gets to decide what I must or must not do in my swinging life, or how that life is defined, is ridiculous. As ridiculous as me dictating what they can do or want.
Also the idea that a person seeking a relationship will be incapable of separating that from a swinging meet with a guy who is already in a realtionship and therefore steal him away is rather insulting. Surely if people are looking for more than a one-off NSA meet, there will be communication and getting to know each other. At least the OP is being honest about the other side of her swinging life.
/rant
The only thing anyone (everyone?) should be applying to their links and connections in here is honesty - to themselves as much as to others.
As for "You can't develop or be open to developing a long term relationship with a swing-partner". That's a load of crap. When I started swinging I was single (let's not get into the 'singles can't swing' debate) and also on dating sites. I shagged guys from the dating site (was that not allowed?) and I was always open to a relationship from here (also not allowed?).
I met some lovely guys on here. I am still very good friends with some of them. I am in a long-term relationship with one of them. Others I played with, enjoyed, and haven't kept in touch with.
The idea that anyone else with a membership on here gets to decide what I must or must not do in my swinging life, or how that life is defined, is ridiculous. As ridiculous as me dictating what they can do or want.
Also the idea that a person seeking a relationship will be incapable of separating that from a swinging meet with a guy who is already in a realtionship and therefore steal him away is rather insulting. Surely if people are looking for more than a one-off NSA meet, there will be communication and getting to know each other. At least the OP is being honest about the other side of her swinging life.
/rant
My experience of the "scene" is that there are quite a few lasses looking for mr right and quite a few blokes pretending to be mr right to get a fuck.
Not much difference from the vanilla world really.
Exceptions occur of course and if it were me I would simply enjoy the ride. Amazing how often things turn up when you aint looking for them.
Not much difference from the vanilla world really.
Exceptions occur of course and if it were me I would simply enjoy the ride. Amazing how often things turn up when you aint looking for them.
Sex God
Quote by Ben_Minx
Exceptions occur of course and if it were me I would simply enjoy the ride. Amazing how often things turn up when you aint looking for them.
Totally agree with that sentiment. And how often things turn up when you have stopped looking for them to.
Ermmm I'm not looking for Mr Right, Mr Grey or Mr Darcy thx lol
Mr go with the flow will do for me ;)
The guys I have met have on the whole have been genuine so far and not 'tricked' me :P
To re-itterate the blockage is not the guys but the fact that there is an automatic block on seeing how it goes usually as we are all told 'this is not a dating site' and it must just be sex meets lol xx
Mr go with the flow will do for me ;)
The guys I have met have on the whole have been genuine so far and not 'tricked' me :P
To re-itterate the blockage is not the guys but the fact that there is an automatic block on seeing how it goes usually as we are all told 'this is not a dating site' and it must just be sex meets lol xx
My problem here was that there were lots of men looking for Mrs Right and thought that was me and also many men who were looking for someone to date and swing with but who didnt want me to meet others without them ! Trouble was that i wasnt looking for either of those options lol all i wanted was to meet and swing with various men not date or marry/live with or only swing with them !
I hope you find what you are looking for although im not sure this is the right site for it !
not date or marry/live with or only swing with them !I hope you find what you are looking for although im not sure this is the right site for it !
So we are back round to the start where I said I dont think this is the site for what I am after... ;)
Thank you ALL who contributed, I hope it has opened some peoples mind to other views and opinions on this site and made some people realise that we are real human beings on here with different ideas and agendas
My sign off on this thread is to say genuine honesty for me is the best policy, whatever you are seeking in the long or short term.
I may not have it all sussed out yet but hey I have 40 odd years to go if I'm lucky :P
Pam xx
Thank you ALL who contributed, I hope it has opened some peoples mind to other views and opinions on this site and made some people realise that we are real human beings on here with different ideas and agendas
My sign off on this thread is to say genuine honesty for me is the best policy, whatever you are seeking in the long or short term.
I may not have it all sussed out yet but hey I have 40 odd years to go if I'm lucky :P
Pam xx
Sex God
I see no reason why a woman or a man can't use this site to find whatever they want...
It might not be a dating site in the strictest sense of the word but tell me a dating site that isn't used by some members to find simply casual sex
It might not be a dating site in the strictest sense of the word but tell me a dating site that isn't used by some members to find simply casual sex
Sex God
Quote by flower411
Can`t see any reason why somebody shouldn`t be looking for whatever they want on any kind of meeting site but it does worry me that somebody might feel threatened by a single woman looking for a partner thinking that they might be out to steal their man !!!
If you don`t trust him you shouldn`t be swinging !
:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
While I can not say I am looking for long term relationship. I have found a few on sites.
Right now I am see a lady, taking 3 day breaks with her, visiting clubs and all the normal things that swingers do. It started, like the others two as just an arranged meet but we are now 'friends with lust'.
Can you find friendship on here. Yes, I was visiting a lady for a year, and we never did go to bed. So you can even find friendship without sex. I know some guys would call me a fool, but I find this place about more than sex. Sex is just the thing that keeps me coming back.
I have also found one off meets and they have there own excitement. As do clubs, I have to admit I have sometimes I never did know there name.
Turning vanillas to swinging;
I know a lady who was 'training' a boyfriend, She found it easy to bring a woman into the bed but he was reluctant to share her with a man. But it must happen, not everyone here met as swingers. I would hope that anyone intending to do that would tell the other person in quick order.
Travis
Right now I am see a lady, taking 3 day breaks with her, visiting clubs and all the normal things that swingers do. It started, like the others two as just an arranged meet but we are now 'friends with lust'.
Can you find friendship on here. Yes, I was visiting a lady for a year, and we never did go to bed. So you can even find friendship without sex. I know some guys would call me a fool, but I find this place about more than sex. Sex is just the thing that keeps me coming back.
I have also found one off meets and they have there own excitement. As do clubs, I have to admit I have sometimes I never did know there name.
Turning vanillas to swinging;
I know a lady who was 'training' a boyfriend, She found it easy to bring a woman into the bed but he was reluctant to share her with a man. But it must happen, not everyone here met as swingers. I would hope that anyone intending to do that would tell the other person in quick order.
Travis
Sex God
Hey now I'm a guy that a woman could connect with on all sorts of levels, whether dating or otherwise.... and furthermore, if she has any knowledge of, or an interest in, american football then she could probably manage to keep me awake after we've shagged.
