Hi there I am fairly new to the forum and i think it is a great idea, I work as an IT manager so I know what a properly run site looks like and this is GREAT!
My question for discussion or whatever is, I understand couples are nervous about single guys especially married ones as there is a moral dilemna when the guy is cheating on his wife, many of us have our own problems in the marital department and when we state them in out ads we are given the 'oh yeah that old excuse again' treatment.
My wife has long term back problems and I love her dearly, is it fair that I be treated as a leper when I attempt to contact people through the proper channels and especially in the chat room.
I also have a long term friend that I meet with on occasions and she is fully aware that i am married and ok with it, she just happens to be too far away most of the time.
It's even worse if you admit to being bi or bi-curious, can't a guy get pleasure from watching a guy with his own wife, just because I am bi-curious doesn't mean thats I will jump on the next cock that comes along.
Anyway just wanted to stir the waves a little, I am aware that most swingers are very honest tolerant and fun loving people, it is just a shame that some don't treat single guys that way.
We are not all time wasting morons who want to run off with your wife!
Ironically I have had about 4 couples waste my time after I have spent hours talking to the husband whi insists that he wants to see me with his wife and that she has fully agreed.
Insult is added to injury when couples say we don't take singles, unless you are a girl of course arrrrrgh!
Anyway to the mods and the site owners, you are all doing a great job in a difficult area, keep up the good work.....
Your poll is flawed. Why do you assume you are talking to the male part of a couple only? And why do you not have a "tried it, it was bloody fantastic" option?
What happened to the option "Weve been there and it was great" ?
Although im a single guy and str8,i play with cpls as well as single the cpls that i play werent happy with the situation i would be there playing with them would i ?
I agree with Judy and the others, it's a whinge, barely concealed with a gloss of social comment. Is that a mixed metaphor?
Mike.
after reading what you just put up there can i just put forward a few obsevations....
you said that you have replied the about 25 ads and you get back a reply saying "sorry no single guys" why are you then replying to these people in the first place??? as a single guy i read the adverts first, see if i am what they are after and vice versa.. it doesn't matter how well you "construct" your advert if you are not what they were after in the first place.....regardless of your circumstances......
if you are going into a chat room you are always going to find there are a lot more single men on there than couples and single women.... have you tried using the forums first for example... get you face known to more people and then when they know you a little they may be more receptive of you......
you are right this is a very open community and a tolerant but i do believe there is a fundermental difference between those who swing and people who are just after sex...maybe you coume across as the latter rather than the former....
i am sorry to hear about your wife and i can't even imagine the pain she must be in, but can i ask you a personal question... does she know that you swing.. or at least advertise on sites like this? if you can be as honest with her then you have nothing to hide and maybe even hove a word with the couple if you get close to meeting.....
like i said before.. you are right about this community... it is very open and free spirited, but it is also about honesty and if you can't share that then you'll be none the richer or the wiser....
sean xxxx
As a sad whingeing bloke who can't get a shag, I feel I must comment here.
I think people come to this site for a variety of personal reasons. Some do as a way to add some adventure and excitement to their lives and seek opportuinities for group encounters; others only seek 1-2-1 experiences. Then there are those whose spouses are no longer able to satisfy their needs (as in neolithics case). Inevitably you are going to get people comming onto this site who are seeking some sort of resoloution to their sexual or social predicaments. Seeing as this is a community which prides itself on its openess and liberal attititudes, I think this engenders in people a need to discuss (possibly for the first time) their unresolved issues and seek a little sympathy. Is there any harm in that? Is that not what community is for?
I have been reading the forum over the past few weeks and so far all the women who have asked for help have got it. I have not come accross anyone accusing the women of whingeing. (And that's a simple observation not a whinge). I feel neolithic has been treated rather hashly here by some of you and I feel rather saddned all in all. Some of you have been constructive,,,others well...
Try going in the chat room as a single guy and try and get any couple to talk to you, I could get better results begging for £10 notes in derby dressed in an Armani suit.
Where abouts in Derby? I have a Burtons suit! Perhaps I could ask for a fiver?
Seriously though. I can agree with some of what you say, but I was brought up in a world before IT, and taught to believe in the addage. If at first you don't suceed, try, try again. And I am doing.
I would love the opportunity to make friends with nice couples and include some sexual fun from time to time, but I realise it is not going to be as easy as going for a job interview.
Like all things, there are slight issues; age (54), looks (I have a beard), and of course the ever present timewasters, but I'm not discouraged, yet, and will keep writing honest applications to those who seem to be asking for my sort of man.
Also, can someone tell me why it seems the surprise has to be spoilt by having undraped photos e-mailed all the time? I'm not a prude, or shy, but surely half the fun of a new sexual encounter is the discovery of each other's bodies?
It's only my thoughts, and I'm certain many of you will want to enlighten a man who began swinging when it was still simply called swapping! How times have changed, since I returned to the fold after twenty years of marriage.
Love to all,
Keith
fabio hey!
you may have noticed that you are now replying to a non-existent reply. told you i'd regret it :lol2: ;-)
neil x x x x
Having placed an ad asking for single guys before, I have to say that the majority of what Agracar said applies to us as well....
We had on average 60-70 emails a day, and the endless cock shots (even though we specifically asked for facial pics only) and the classy "hi would u like to see my hairless shiney black cock ?" one liners become such a turn off....
We deleted the ad in the end.......
Shireen
xxx
Hiya Neo.
I'm fairly new here too. And (almost) a single guy.
I've been awol from the site for a week or so and just popped in this morning to see if there was anything interesting going on. (There usually is).
What I would like to say would take too long but in a nutshell boils down to this -
Relax, chill out and don't look at this site as a way to get an easy fuck.
That was the 'advise' I gave to myself, and it works for me. I enjoy the site much more since I took my own advice.
Btw. 'Advice' should be given and received freely. It is up to the person receiving the advice as to what they do with it. Anyone who gets upset when people don't take thier advice is not really 'giving advice' - are they???
Well it seems the double standard raises it's head again. The people who critisise men for playing away without telling their partners should consider a couple of things. First, technically if your married & have sex with someone else even with consent it is still cheating. Secondly about the honesty angle do you tell your mother, sister, brother, workmates? My personal circumstanses have nothing to do with anyone else, as does the people I meets situation have nothing to do with me. I find it rather disturbing that people who use these sites start moralising about some aspects of the life style while conveiently ignoring the hypocracy of their situation. As someone who has been doing this for 20+ years I can tell you i've met some very nice people but also had my fair share of messed up couples, & as for timewasters, you wouldn't belive it if I told you. Since useing this & other sites over the last couple of years I've had a lot of success, mainly because i make sure I only answer ads where I meet all the criteria. As somebody already said you have to perseveer to succeed, if you do you will, I have & have no complaints. It will work if you put in the effort, & ignore the wannabe's out there who haven't got the idea yet that not everyone is like them.
In most marriage ceremonys both religious & civil isn't there something about fidelity or being faithful to only him/her? So where does that leave being dishonest? Afterall you've made a comittment haven't you? How convienient to ignore the bits that don't fit in with the argument.
Hi neolithic.
This is my first post in "The Cafe" and is in connection with your poll and following posts in this thread.
I have only been a Member here for a very short time and had only put one post in the Dogging forum about a week or so ago. I am also a lone male (55 and married - but with the OK of my partner to proceed)
I had a very nice PM from a well liked couple (reading through the posts on this great site confirms this assumption) who live quite some distance north of my location in Bristol.
Basically they were interested in arranging a meet in the future. So I replied to them and have arranged to see them (given warning in advance) when I next travel into their area.
So this should prove to you that couples will meet lone males and it is up to you to post and reply (with the courtesy shown to them that you would expect yourself) to any replys you may receive.
I count myself lucky to have had such a good response from my first ever posting on this site ,and look foward to any further replys that I might get.
In the meantime, could any of you seasoned swingers/doggers please PM me with a list of abbreviations (WWB,Fems,BBw's etc) so that I might find it a little easier to understand in more detail those that use these abreviations in their posts. I don't want to offend any of you great people with any misunderstandings on my part.
Thanks in advace to all who might be able to assist. It's a pleasure to be in such good company.
Best Regards to all.
Moonshine.
Thanks very much for all your replies, its late now but i have read my way through all your replies and I welcome all your advice. I will have another look tommorow and pick up on all your points.
It seems I provoked discussion not just about my circumstances but those of other single guys and women.
I do look at the single ladies ads but there are only 10 in the midlands, I am not black (I wish) I do not have a 8"+ cock (I wish) and I am not under 35 (I don't care), the rest I have replied to lol.
Keep smiling and I will, talk to you all soon, Oh and Judy, regarding my attire, I have tried dressing up on webcam and it was great fun for me and the two guys who chatted to me all night, at least I am trying!
dave :-)
A great discussion. I can confirm that you can meet couples on here. But as there are so many single men interested in meeting couples on here you will have to spend a lot of time finding the perfect couple for you. Try to be in the chat when it's not that busy, try to contact only couples looking for a single guy in your area. Try to do smart searches, if you do have a yellow cock and you live on the moon, search for yellow and moon. Don't waste your time searching for a couple on mars that likes blue pussies! :-) Try to be positive, have fun, it's just like when you are out picking up girls in a bar: you need to smile, give compliments, be yourself....yeah the usual. Best of luck! Wiild
:D :D 
)))
..... do you still want me to bring the handcuffs, whip, blindfold n toys to the next Munch :grin: :grin: 
What does it say - you're a man, you like oral sex (who doesn't?) and massage, you're shaved and snipped (what about condoms?), and bi-curious. If that were a woman's ad, would you answer it? What separates you from the other 3900 men seeking couples? You need to give a little more of yourself - say a little more about you, not just your sexual needs but your social and emotional needs too. You're in a big crowd; make yourself stand out.
I can think of one person in particular who's a shining example of what lots and lots and lots of very, very, very hard and careful constructive work can do for you, but broadly I think there's no magic bullet. Some people are lucky, and other's - aren't.
:evil: :evil: :evil:
