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Sloppy Seconds?

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Witchy
Sex God
O.K, flippant title, serious (ahem) thread.
I was chatting to someone a while back when they used the phrase "sloppy seconds."
I was aghast, as I thought I was the only "swinger" who ever thought to themselves "I couldn't sleep with x, as I know they've slept with y"
I'll give a made up example, rather than allowing discretion to muddy the waters.
You go to a munch. At the munch, you chat to X. You think "phwoar- I really would!" Nothing will come of it that night,(maybe you have plans, whatever) but you flirt, and there's a "frisson." Next morning, you're leaving MunchTown when you see X & Y- perhaps leaving a hotel, clearly having enjoyed eachothers company.
As I said, the example is to take indiscretion out of the equation. How you know is not relevant, the point is, you know.
Does that knowledge have any effect on you?
Do you simply not care?
If you don't care, would you rather not know- or doesn't it bother you in the least?
If it does bother you, given the circles we move in, can you figure out why?
Having spoken to a couple of people about it, the main consensus is that they would care if they disliked Y.
Does liking of disliking the third party factor in your feelings?
Blimey- a thread about you-know-what biggrin
Over to you :thumbup:
Unknown User
so are we to assume that we dont like 'y' and that is the crux of the question....or is 'y' and random person?!?
Witchy
Sex God
Either or BoneShaker,
consider your feelings if Y is someone who you're neither here nor there about, or if you'd feel differently if you couldnt stand them.
Unknown User
It might bother me if I knew.
One might become attracted to a person for various reasons as we all know; thier posting style, humour, however it is they come across to you via the forums and whatever else they use to 'present' themselves on this or other sites.
Similarly, one can be put-off of others by thier presentation via the same media.
The first person, by association, may begin to look less attractive: "how could they possibly like them? What am I missing here?"
So, rather than not have my feelings/desires tempered by my opinion of a third party... I'd rather not know.
lp
Unknown User
Quote by Bonedigger
so are we to assume that we dont like 'y' and that is the crux of the question....or is 'y' and random person?!?

probably... after all, no-one likes me!
I'm horrid
lp
Ukwineman
Orgasminator
I always thought sloopy seconds was a bareback term :haha:
I dont see why not liking someone else makes a difference just because you accidently found out, it would never matter if you never knew but then again as a single male I never get to play anyway so probable not actually qualified to comment rolleyes
Naughty_Wigan_Couple
Sex God
Umm, I dont know. It would depend on the reason why I didnt like the other person. If I knew the person was sleeping around bareback, or taking silly risks, then yes it would matter to me. It would also matter if I really disliked the person 'personally' as I would begin to doubt my own taste and the taste of the person I was wanting to play with.
However, it was just someone I didnt know too well, and hadnt had any dealings with, then I dont think it would matter as much.
Oh I dont know now and youve got me all confuddled redface
fabio
Sex God
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Umm, I dont know. It would depend on the reason why I didnt like the other person. If I knew the person was sleeping around bareback, or taking silly risks, then yes it would matter to me. It would also matter if I really disliked the person 'personally' as I would begin to doubt my own taste and the taste of the person I was wanting to play with.
However, it was just someone I didnt know too well, and hadnt had any dealings with, then I dont think it would matter as much.
Oh I dont know now and youve got me all confuddled redface

I think you said it better than I could kiss
That would be I think probably the only factor that would concern me
as for the rest.. well they may know them better than I do, or there may be something that clicks between them.... I don't think the rest is my business....
I'd like the apologise to any people if I have been the reason why they haven't played so often....... lol :lol: :lol:
Dirtygirly
Sex God
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Umm, I dont know. It would depend on the reason why I didnt like the other person. If I knew the person was sleeping around bareback, or taking silly risks, then yes it would matter to me. It would also matter if I really disliked the person 'personally' as I would begin to doubt my own taste and the taste of the person I was wanting to play with.
However, it was just someone I didnt know too well, and hadnt had any dealings with, then I dont think it would matter as much.
Oh I dont know now and youve got me all confuddled redface

That pretty much covers it for me too. Funny I had this conversation with a pal in the chatroom the other night. We were talking to someone and she suggested that he come visit her and I said, tell him to come via Edinburgh and she was appalled and said "no way, I don't want sloppy seconds!" So I told her to dust him off and send him back via me and I'd have her sloppy seconds! lol
It's NSA apparently... which I guess is another thought I've been having lately... a thread may appear about that sometime soon but so as not to digress from the topic at hand, I'd say generally I don't care who's shagging who. Ideally I'd rather not know, discretion and all that but sometimes that's inevitable and you do find out. I don't really have anything to hide so it doesn't worry me if people know who I'm sleeping with. I like the banter and the nonsense that comes with that when you're flirting on the forums.
We all have a past, we all have a present and hopefully we all have a future so I guess if I was worrying about not sleeping with X cause Y has beaten me to it then I'd question whether this is lifestyle for me and believe me I have and it is!! wink
Unknown User
it totally bothers me. (said in a Friends sitcom voice)
If I 'know' that 'minging personality' fucks 'prospective fuck' I would be put miles off and I have been. So much so that I have made random excuses to 'prospective fuck' because I don't want to know their sex life but I also don't want to dip my wick where 'minging personality' has been.
noway nu uh.
basically I am discrete and I expect discretion. I particularly get bothered if people name drop when I am talking to them as I really don't want to know who they have been with.
There has been one notable exception:- I recognised a 'prospective fuck' in someone's profile and I was happy to meet and fuck them without preamble because I knew that if they were in the other person's profile they must be brilliant in other person is someone that I knew fairly well and knew they had high standards. (I was right :twisted: )
Unknown User
It's never happened to me. Yes it would put me off.
cockslut
Sex God
sloppy seconds used to mean a guy going second with a woman after the first guy went bareback.
Unknown User
Quote by splendid_
The other person is someone that I knew fairly well and knew they had high standards. (I was right :twisted: )

I always like public 'thank you's' :rascal:
On a more serious note.... I'm kinda with Splendid on this one. Real life example below.
Myself and my partner were approached one evening last week by a bi-curious guy who was in the area on business and thought 'what the hell, in for a penny etc' and if he was gonna play, he wanted his first mmm 3 some :twisted:
Fair enough under 'usual' circumstances - he was smart, sexy and handsome. BUT, I'd seen him chat and arrange a meet with somebody the evening before who I have no respect for.
When he whispered I replied 'you're hot, sexy and smart and if it wasn't for the fact that you met X the other night we'd entertain the idea.' He was polite but intrigued as to how we knew he'd met her 'simple' I said 'she came back in the room after you'd shagged and rated you out of 10' Needless to say he was mortified confused
Unknown User
Quote by BIoke
The other person is someone that I knew fairly well and knew they had high standards. (I was right :twisted: )

I always like public 'thank you's' :rascal:
On a more serious note.... I'm kinda with Splendid on this one. Real life example below.
Myself and my partner were approached one evening last week by a bi-curious guy who was in the area on business and thought 'what the hell, in for a penny etc' and if he was gonna play, he wanted his first mmm 3 some :twisted:
Fair enough under 'usual' circumstances - he was smart, sexy and handsome. BUT, I'd seen him chat and arrange a meet with somebody the evening before who I have no respect for.
When he whispered I replied 'you're hot, sexy and smart and if it wasn't for the fact that you met X the other night we'd entertain the idea.' He was polite but intrigued as to how we knew he'd met her 'simple' I said 'she came back in the room after you'd shagged and rated you out of 10' Needless to say he was mortified confused
Did you refuse him because his score was too low? :twisted:
Unknown User
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
Did you refuse him because his score was too low? :twisted:

rotflmao
Noooo - it was actually a 9 but I don't rate their scoring criteria ;)
Unknown User
Quote by BIoke

Did you refuse him because his score was too low? :twisted:

rotflmao
Noooo - it was actually a 9 but I don't rate their scoring criteria ;)
She didn't take him in her back door then! :evil2:
fabio
Sex God
Quote by BIoke

Did you refuse him because his score was too low? :twisted:

rotflmao
Noooo - it was actually a 9 but I don't rate their scoring criteria ;)
have this picture in my head now a la "dancing on ice".... all the judges gave 5 except for jason who gave 4.5!!! bastard..... :evil2:
Unknown User
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Umm, I dont know. It would depend on the reason why I didnt like the other person. If I knew the person was sleeping around bareback, or taking silly risks, then yes it would matter to me.

I fully agree here but ordinarily, no it wouldn't bother me. Who the object of my lust finds attractive and shags before me is purely their own choice. If I was to tick off all the potential meets just because someone I don't like had gotten there first, it could be a very short list indeed!
I'd rather NOT know who he had been with but if I did, I would expect complete discretion from said lust-object regarding his previous meets.
Unknown User
Quote by splendid_
it totally bothers me. (said in a Friends sitcom voice)
If I 'know' that 'minging personality' fucks 'prospective fuck' I would be put miles off and I have been. So much so that I have made random excuses to 'prospective fuck' because I don't want to know their sex life but I also don't want to dip my wick where 'minging personality' has been.
noway nu uh.
basically I am discrete and I expect discretion. I particularly get bothered if people name drop when I am talking to them as I really don't want to know who they have been with.
There has been one notable exception:- I recognised a 'prospective fuck' in someone's profile and I was happy to meet and fuck them without preamble because I knew that if they were in the other person's profile they must be brilliant in other person is someone that I knew fairly well and knew they had high standards. (I was right :twisted: )

Agree with this - I know it shouldn't bother me if I see 'prospective fuck' has been with someone I don't like or i'm not keen on - but it does and has made me not interested in someone when previously I was good to go
Unknown User
Quote by BIoke
The other person is someone that I knew fairly well and knew they had high standards. (I was right :twisted: )

I always like public 'thank you's' :rascal:
On a more serious note.... I'm kinda with Splendid on this one.
Ummmm you know fine well BIoke that I tell you in person when I have feedback. But hey while I am here, you were amazing and your partner is hot, hot, hot.
Serendipity
Sex God
Quote by Witchy
Do you simply not care?
If you don't care, would you rather not know- or doesn't it bother you in the least?

Mostly, I don't care. I've been trying to think of a circumtance where I might care and aside from the safe sex/health issues mentioned already, I'm struggling to think of any. I suppose if they'd slept with my worst enemy I might be bothered but I don't have enemies (that I know of lol ), just friends, acquaintances, people I have little interest in and people I don't like enough to bother with.
Knowing or not knowing is moot for me, it has no bearing on my choice of partners.
The personalities/behaviours of people I've had sex with are not my responsibiity. If I discovered that someone had not made advances to me because they somehow knew I'd played with someone they don't like, I imagine my response would be to raise an eyebrow of disdain and think them quite silly to miss out on fun with me because my choices aren't theirs.
Then I'd be distracted by something more interesting and move on! :lol:
Unknown User
Quote by Serendipity
Mostly, I don't care. I've been trying to think of a circumtance where I might care and aside from the safe sex/health issues mentioned already, I'm struggling to think of any. I suppose if they'd slept with my worst enemy I might be bothered but I don't have enemies (that I know of lol ), just friends, acquaintances, people I have little interest in and people I don't like enough to bother with.
Knowing or not knowing is moot for me, it has no bearing on my choice of partners.
The personalities/behaviours of people I've had sex with are not my responsibiity. If I discovered that someone had not made advances to me because they somehow knew I'd played with someone they don't like, I imagine my response would be to raise an eyebrow of disdain and think them quite silly to miss out on fun with me because my choices aren't theirs.
Then I'd be distracted by something more interesting and move on! :lol:

If I subtly change my response to this one will anyone notice???
I would like to think that I could be as grown up as serendipity and 'not care'. It definitely would be the mature response.
But I do care, I am firmly in the 'if I don't know it won't hurt me' camp though. So ignorance is blissful for me.
Unknown User
Quote by Ukwineman
I always thought sloopy seconds was a bareback term :haha:

haha me too!... or another term I once heard when I was younger 'putting my spoon in someone else's dessert!' lol
Unknown User
I think my answer would be because it's Swinging, I doubt I would care.
I think. It's something I've not really thought about before which is why I think I probably wouldn't care... :crazy:
tmann
Sex God
On the whole a lady's acquaintances are her own affair. Just because she had jumped out of a guys bed who I do not I do not get on with does not keep her out of mine.
I can imagin that there must be someone who would cause me to question the lady's taste. Perhaps at the extreme, I would distance myself from her.
Travis
Witchy
Sex God
Some very interesting responses. And Rolp made sense. :shock:
Lots of sense.
Someone pinch me confused
Tan____Kinky
Sex God
Quote by Witchy
Some very interesting responses. And Rolp made sense. :shock:
Lots of sense.
Someone pinch me confused

Can I ask for a ransom if i do? dunno
Angel_Chat
Sex God
Quote by TanKinky
Some very interesting responses. And Rolp made sense. :shock:
Lots of sense.
Someone pinch me confused

Can I ask for a ransom if i do? dunno
You can ask, but would anyone pay it? :dunno:
bolt
Tan____Kinky
Sex God
Quote by Angel Chat
Some very interesting responses. And Rolp made sense. :shock:
Lots of sense.
Someone pinch me confused

Can I ask for a ransom if i do? dunno
You can ask, but would anyone pay it? :dunno:
bolt
Good point lol
Sorry no witchy I will not pinch you
Witchy
Sex God
I'll have you two know I'm worth thruppence & a part chewed toffee :smug: