I have to say, I am single guy, and to be honest have had very little problem on the site. I bother to read profiles and unless it says looking for single guys I don't ever ask or as much a suggest a meet. We all have preferances, for couples, single ladies or single men....I simply read what they request and act upon it. Single guys have to remember, there are a great many, in number around, and if you expect anyone to fall over themselves getting to you, you going to be dissapointed. I have found if I treat others with respect, then in return they treat you with respect. I don't feel snobbery or in the slightest uncomfortable.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Snobbery towards single guys.
Sexlightened
I wouldnt say it was "snobbery" and "suspicion", at least for me its not. I just dont like single males at all in anything other than a purely social (munch etc) situation.
This all stems from being in clubs on a night when singles are let in and seeing them "prey" (for want of a better word) on potential targets. When you read reviews and people say they see groups of single males following couples about you dont believe it, but when you see it first hand its not nice.
This culminated in us visiting Isis in Leeds last week, i left MrsC alone for literally 10 mins while i went about 5m across the room to play pool. Within 2 mins of me moving there was 2 single males sat next to and opposite her trying to chat her up and it made me feel very uncomfortable.
I wouldnt say that it was snobbery or suspicion at all, i'd say it was more untrust than anything else, and single males dont help themselves at all by employing the "hunt in packs" tactics that clearly do happen.
The stigma surrounding single males is such that the vast majority of couples dont want anything to do with them, yet the amount of single males in clubs looking for someone to play with means that competition is fierce for them to get in there first....its a bit of a vicious circle really
MrC
This all stems from being in clubs on a night when singles are let in and seeing them "prey" (for want of a better word) on potential targets. When you read reviews and people say they see groups of single males following couples about you dont believe it, but when you see it first hand its not nice.
This culminated in us visiting Isis in Leeds last week, i left MrsC alone for literally 10 mins while i went about 5m across the room to play pool. Within 2 mins of me moving there was 2 single males sat next to and opposite her trying to chat her up and it made me feel very uncomfortable.
I wouldnt say that it was snobbery or suspicion at all, i'd say it was more untrust than anything else, and single males dont help themselves at all by employing the "hunt in packs" tactics that clearly do happen.
The stigma surrounding single males is such that the vast majority of couples dont want anything to do with them, yet the amount of single males in clubs looking for someone to play with means that competition is fierce for them to get in there first....its a bit of a vicious circle really
MrC
I am the female of a couple and have to say i treat all how I would like to be treated. I do however feel there are a lot of guys that don't read profiles as we prefer men of a certain age limit. But even if I get asked I am always polite in my response.
I think to that there are a lot of guys just here to chance their luck, so if you are genuine stick around get to know people things don't happen overnight. I have found the opposite with genuine people it can take a lot of time and patience but the end rewards have been great.
So good luck!
xxx
I think to that there are a lot of guys just here to chance their luck, so if you are genuine stick around get to know people things don't happen overnight. I have found the opposite with genuine people it can take a lot of time and patience but the end rewards have been great.
So good luck!
xxx
Quote by deancannock
I have to say, I am single guy, and to be honest have had very little problem on the site. I bother to read profiles and unless it says looking for single guys I don't ever ask or as much a suggest a meet. We all have preferances, for couples, single ladies or single men....I simply read what they request and act upon it. Single guys have to remember, there are a great many, in number around, and if you expect anyone to fall over themselves getting to you, you going to be dissapointed. I have found if I treat others with respect, then in return they treat you with respect. I don't feel snobbery or in the slightest uncomfortable.
:thumbup:
I have seen some couples - usually the male half - behave abismally towards single guys in chat. They seem to forget they are only one forgotten anniversary away from being in the same position. I tend to treat people how they deserve to be treated, ie if they talk to me pleasantly I reply in the same manner. Some of the rudest things I've had said to me in chat was from couples.
But on the subject of single guys actually being single, you'd be amazed at the percentage of guys who have a single profile who are married/with someone.
There is some snobbery I think, but then there are a lot of single guys who are pushy and rude - it's only a higher number because there are more single guys here than anything else (working on a ratio basis), there are a lot of couples who are too, and single women. It's just down to numbers at the end of the day.
H.x
But on the subject of single guys actually being single, you'd be amazed at the percentage of guys who have a single profile who are married/with someone.
There is some snobbery I think, but then there are a lot of single guys who are pushy and rude - it's only a higher number because there are more single guys here than anything else (working on a ratio basis), there are a lot of couples who are too, and single women. It's just down to numbers at the end of the day.
H.x
Warming the Bed
We wouldn't have a problem its just....too many single guys just don't read our ad and profile properly.
but what what really pisses us off is the married guys with couple profiles who pm us for seperate meets on their own!
but what what really pisses us off is the married guys with couple profiles who pm us for seperate meets on their own!
Having joined SH recently, I expected honesty in such a site. So far, single males I have had contact with have had partners, and want any meets to be 'discreet'. Personally I can't be bothered with any such situation! I'm on this site to meet people/couples who are open, honest and accepting of each other...not creeping around being deceiptful. Maybe I am more narrow minded than I like to think!!??
Quote by sparky33
Remember, this isn't based on personal experience, but on reading the forums.
I'm a genuine single male, but can't accomodate because I'm currently staying in a B&B as I've recently split up with my LTP, but I'm told that most folk see "can't accomodate" and translate it as "I'm not really single".
I wasn't bemoaning, just sharing observations.
My observation is that 'single' blokes are their own worst enemies. So many are fuckwits that they don't just screw it up for themselves they do so for the genuine guys.
It's our lot in life unfortunately. It's not a dead end though, we just have to work harder is all. On the bright side the ladies/couples do end up with a better bloke because of it... unless they fall for the fuckwit's tactics
No-one is saying all single males are time wasters, in the same way they're not saying all couples/ single women are saints. But a lot of people have been messed around by single guys, not because they are all bad but because there are more of them. Simple maths, if there's 1,000 single guys and 10% are shit heads, thats 100 shit heads. The same percentage of 100 couples only gives you 10 - so less people will have been mucked about by couples.
H.x
H.x
Quote by flower411
Note: I'm not trying to be critical nor incitive, after all, I want meets, this is just based on comments I've read around the site.
In my opinion, us single guys get a bad rap, there is far too much snobbery and suspicion from couples and single women towards single guys.
Couples were once single too, they forget that.
Nobody looks down on single women looking for couples, but I think that is because most swinging is instigated by the male's and their desire for a threesome with another woman (for his sake not his partner's), it's only those more experienced that see things differently.
(I'm not refering to all of course)
I think you`ll find that most people moaning about single guys do actually qualify their statements
"Single guys..........pretending to be couples"
"Single guys..........who whisper without asking"
"Single guys..........who send winks"
"single guys..........who don`t read profiles"
ETC ETC ETC ..... :wink:
We meet single guys. Let me give you a recent example of a liason that never came to fruition
I chatted to a guy for some time on and off in chat....we exchanged mobile numbers.....very soon after that I started getting nervous about him because he was sending 5 to 10 text messages a day !!! :shock:
I tried to cool him off, but eventually told him we would not be meeting.
Saw him in chat a few days later and he started whispering me asking if we could meet !!
I told him in no uncertain terms that we were not going to meet and that I had already told him !!! :roll:
His reply .................
"Well she`s a minger anyway and you just can`t get it up which is why you need a man, like me"
OK ... this is an extreme example .....but that`s why people are wary (not snobby) when it comes to single guys !
That is pretty odd to only text you 5 to 10 times a day, I'd do 15-20 at least. :wink:
Casanova
Funnily enough... Single guys are our preference.. But not just ANY single guy will do. We have to be attracted.
We used to discribe the type of single guy we were looking for. But they rarely ever bothered to read it then were offended when we didn't reply or said No thankyou.. This ignorance put us off every time. Mind you, we also got mails from couples when we also said we were only looking for single guys :roll: So we dont write anything now, doesn't seem much point. Except "Please don't whisper" But still it comes.. Even when the room title says "No Whispers" and it is mainly from single guys who seem to think they have something about them that means rules or peoples preferences don't 'really' apply to them.
So 'Single Guys'... I think the loudest message here is Please observe room rules, be respectful, PLEASE read profiles & not everyone here is here because they're desperate to get laid by ANYONE'
You are not exempt from rules & your not a god to everyone'
Love Minx :rascal: x x
We used to discribe the type of single guy we were looking for. But they rarely ever bothered to read it then were offended when we didn't reply or said No thankyou..
This ignorance put us off every time. Mind you, we also got mails from couples when we also said we were only looking for single guys :roll: So we dont write anything now, doesn't seem much point. Except "Please don't whisper" But still it comes.. Even when the room title says "No Whispers" and it is mainly from single guys who seem to think they have something about them that means rules or peoples preferences don't 'really' apply to them. So 'Single Guys'... I think the loudest message here is Please observe room rules, be respectful, PLEASE read profiles & not everyone here is here because they're desperate to get laid by ANYONE'
You are not exempt from rules & your not a god to everyone'
Love Minx :rascal: x x
Quote by sparky33
Remember, this isn't based on personal experience, but on reading the forums.
I'm a genuine single male, but can't accomodate because I'm currently staying in a B&B as I've recently split up with my LTP, but I'm told that most folk see "can't accomodate" and translate it as "I'm not really single".
I wasn't bemoaning, just sharing observations.
Maybe you could put a small footnote on your profile which can then be changed when your situation changes.
Nobody looks down on single women looking for couples, but I think that is because most swinging is instigated by the male's and their desire for a threesome with another woman (for his sake not his partner's), it's only those more experienced that see things differently.:shock:
I think your thinking needs to be thought through a bit more.
In my time, in my particular part of the game, I have noted that most couples have a developed behaviour and an almost telepathic knowledge of their other half and their desires.
You can contrast that with one of the more disinteresting aspects of single males, their inability to comprehend that a couple consists of two people and that the female half may not want to be constantly pestered for their personal phone number. Or even want guys to be constantly insisting they'd be better-off with them.
**********************
The poster of this post has no intention of insulting anyone.
Yet.
But he's working on it !
Sex God
Quote by Buxom-Minx
Funnily enough... Single guys are our preference.. But not just ANY single guy will do. We have to be attracted.
We used to discribe the type of single guy we were looking for. But they rarely ever bothered to read it then were offended when we didn't reply or said No thankyou..
So 'Single Guys'... I think the loudest message here is Please observe room rules, be respectful, PLEASE read profiles & not everyone here is here because they're desperate to get laid by ANYONE'
You are not exempt from rules & your not a god to everyone'
Love Minx :rascal: x x
:thumbup:
Well said Minx. I think there is a tendency, and not only from single men, to think that anyone on the site will shag anyone, or want to be shagged by anyone. Some people are only here for the social side and not after meeting for sex, but there are some who think that because it's a swinging site it's also a 'meat market'.
A more relaxed and patient view is the best approach I think.
Sex God
Quote by bbw_lover
Well said Minx. I think there is a tendency, and not only from single men, to think that anyone on the site will shag anyone, or want to be shagged by anyone. Some people are only here for the social side and not after meeting for sex, but there are some who think that because it's a swinging site it's also a 'meat market'.
A more relaxed and patient view is the best approach I think.
Well put. Yes, this is the most common problem here on this site - people come in and think it's "instashag"...that people in the chatroom will zoom over to them by cab or car ...hence the "hey, I'm only two miles from you" comments which crop up all the time in the chatrooms.
And I think it's only because of the great predominance of single guys on here that it's identified as a single guy problem. All groups can on occasions be very abrupt and demanding.
I think a lot of people, like me are only at the moment looking for a single guy. I'd love to get involed in other stuff but I'd feel more comfortable after I've found someone I can trust so then I couple do it as a couple myself
I must say though your comment in the "Designer Vaginas" thread were women were discussing their insecurities:
...This doesn't do you any favours what so ever. I personally wouldn't even consider you now after that I'm afraid. :sad:
I must say though your comment in the "Designer Vaginas" thread were women were discussing their insecurities:
Quote by sparky33
I think it's mainly for those with "John Wayne saddle bags"
...This doesn't do you any favours what so ever. I personally wouldn't even consider you now after that I'm afraid. :sad:
Sex God
Quote by Bjlips2008
Having joined SH recently, I expected honesty in such a site. So far, single males I have had contact with have had partners, and want any meets to be 'discreet'. Personally I can't be bothered with any such situation! I'm on this site to meet people/couples who are open, honest and accepting of each other...not creeping around being deceiptful. Maybe I am more narrow minded than I like to think!!??
Not everyone, who wishes to be discreet, is hiding things from their partner.
.
Sexpert
I dont think its snobbery, u either click or you dont, to me its that simple.
i have to say i agree, im a woman im part of a couple but we also meet as singles, however i only meet single guys on my own and i get lots of comments from couples when i say this in a almost you have to meet couples sort of way, i have seen many nasty and piss taking comments towards singles in the chat rooms and the one that always gets me is when people look at guys wanking on cam and you get the 'oh not another wanker' comment, yet ive never heard anyone moaning about women with their tits out on cam11 i also have to agree that most of these comments come from male half of couples, of course im not speaking of all couples but i think a lot of male half of couples think they are somehow superior to other men because 'they have a woman to offer' and that somehow gives them the rights to be obnoxious and rude to other men, as i said not all but i have seen it a lot
i also have to agree that most of these comments come from male half of couples, of course im not speaking of all couples but i think a lot of male half of couples think they are somehow superior to other men because 'they have a woman to offer' and that somehow gives them the rights to be obnoxious and rude to other men, as i said not all but i have seen it a lot Quote by sparky33
I think a lot of people, like me are only at the moment looking for a single guy. I'd love to get involed in other stuff but I'd feel more comfortable after I've found someone I can trust so then I couple do it as a couple myself
I must say though your comment in the "Designer Vaginas" thread were women were discussing their insecurities:
I think it's mainly for those with "John Wayne saddle bags"
...This doesn't do you any favours what so ever. I personally wouldn't even consider you now after that I'm afraid. :sad:
Did you read my follow up post?
sparky33
Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Posts: 24
Location:
Post subject:
Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:26 pm
It was a tongue in cheek comment, I couldn't care what it looks like, and certainly wouldn't encourage any woman to have anything changed unless it was medically necessary or was what "she" really wanted.
_________________
Not all "single guys" are "cheaters" in disguise!
I did read your follow up post, makes no difference to me.
Quote by sparky33
Then in that case you need that sense of humour bypass reversing.
You are the one who's complaining of snobbery towards people ilke yourself.
When you post something like that onto a thread were some women have been expressing their insecurities... wtf do you expect?
I didn't read it all, and my follow up post expressed my actual feelings on the matter, or plastic surgery in general for cosmetic reasons, my innitial comment was clearly said in jest.
That's the downside of dispassionate text, nothing is ever "clearly" anything. And by the looks of it it wasn't received in jest.
As someone who is expert in putting one's foot in one's mouth may I point out that you can't make everyone laugh, there is always some collateral damage. How much is proportional to the darkness of the humour.
It's a circle of life sort of thing
That last bit is a total non sequitor but I've always wanted to use it!
