His habit is rooted in depression
STAN may believe that dogging is just a bit of fun — but the sad truth is it’s dangerous and sordid sex with strangers.
It damages lasting relationships and risks sexual health.
Wife Estelle must be devastated about his “addictive†pastime.
It’s hard to understand why a wealthy person like Stan wants to hang around car parks to watch or join others having sex.
The draw lies in its sordidness. But the shame and risk tap into deep-down feelings of guilt and low-self-esteem that make it difficult to enjoy love, commitment and family life.
Since word spread via the internet and mobile phones there are more “doggers†than ever. I now hear from women under pressure from partners to go dogging. None want to.
Like prostitutes, many people who get involved have a history of neglect or abuse.
Like all addictions, Stan’s habit is rooted in depression. It’s time to look at what in his past left him vulnerable to getting his kicks this way — and to rebuild love and trust with Estelle and daughter Mia.
When I first read this I was angry at her words. But rather than shoot from the hip I thought I would do a little research…..
So who is Dierdre Sanders and what qualifies her to speak so authoritatively on this subject. Or is she just another person suffering from False Authority Syndrome?
Well lets look at her own bio:
Deidre Sanders, author, columnist, counsellor, TV presenter and the problem page editor for the Sun newspaper. Deidre is a Patron of Youth Access (National Association of Young People's Counselling and Advisory Centres), the National Association of People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC), a forum member of the Royal Society of Medicine, an honorary council member of the NSPCC, a member of the British Association of Counselling and of the National Commission of Inquiry into the Prevention of Child Abuse and a fellow of the Royal Society of Arts. Before her advice column in The Sun - for which she was nominated for a life-time achievement press award in 2000 - she wrote for The Sunday Times, Woman's Own and Nova magazine. As Editor of the "At Your Service" column for Woman's Own, she was Consumer Journalist of the Year and awarded a Jubilee Medal.
So – Let us look at what qualifies her to give this advice. She is a member of the British Association of Counselling. This is a membership that is open to anyone who is willing to pay the fee – whether they have a qualification of any sort in any subject. I could become a member tomorrow if I so wished to add a title to my name.
All of her other titles do not relate in any way to her having a qualification of any sort in the field of counselling.
She has basically been a reporter for a number of publications over many years.
Then I discovered something about how her advice column for The Sun works:
Deidre's office is in a secret location near Cambridge, above a greetings card shop. In the modern office suite, a team of ten women, including six trained counsellors and a sex therapist, sit sifting through letters…..
The headlines may sometimes be saucy: they are written by the newspaper's sub editors…..
Sally Carlow has been working for Deidre Sanders for 11 years. She, like the other counsellors, takes it in turn to spend one day a week reading the day's letters…….
They treat every letter received in the office as confidential (I was not allowed to look at any of them). Only rarely - for example in child abuse cases - would they break that confidentiality…..
The most likely letters for publication are given to Deidre Sanders. How does she choose from them?
"It's gut instinct - what jumps out for me." Obviously she has to bear in mind the need for balance, so a funny one might go alongside something more serious…….
Sanders does not pretend to be a social worker though. "I'm a problem page editor, not an individual counsellor," she insists. She started out as a journalist on Woman's Own, where she wrote a column on women's rights. But since taking on the job of agony aunt with the Sun she has been on counselling courses run by Relate and has trained in sex therapy…….
So – everything in the client Counsellor relationship is confidential – as it should be…. Nice to see I can buy a book called “Dear Deidre's Casebook: "Sun" Agony Aunt Deidre Sanders Presents 150 Cases from Her Files†at from Amazon then!
So what do we know then….
1) Comments like “Like prostitutes, many people who get involved have a history of neglect or And “it’s dangerous and sordid sex with strangers†have no statistical evidence to back up the sweeping statements
2) It was probably not penned by her in the first place
3) She is not a practising counsellor herself of any description and no evidence can be found of her qualifications in the field
4) ANYONE is allowed to call themselves a counsellor in this country and practice as such without having to take a single course or qualification
5) “She has been on counselling courses run by Relate and has trained in sex therapy†could mean anything and could even relate to 1 day courses
In conclusion I now realise that she does suffer from False Authority Syndrome, hides behind others, uses smoke and mirrors to blow up her own self importance and in the meantime lend weight to something that actually sets out to destroy lives and not help them. Trys to tell us all she is sympathetic and trying to help whilst gloating at the exposure suffered by someone else who happens to earn more than her.
I can only liken her to someone who works for a brutal regime like Saddam Hussain's that goes round telling people it was their own fault they were maimed and murdered in the first place and she has no sympathy with them....
So - Got the facts to back up your arguements then Dierdre? - or was this all smoke and mirrors and you were not here and never said it. Or do you just enjoy trading in other people's misery and just use your false authority to legitimise a sordid act of entrapment?
Fred