Hello
Everyone involved here must have certain standards that they try to adhere to. These might include how a person looks, how the dress, how they conduct themselves and even how they speak. Some members, as part of their adverts and profiles state that they are not interested in people who are, for example, fat. We all know what type of people we are turned on by and would like to meet in an ideal world and that is fine.
My question is, how many of you have found yourself in a situation where you meet people who fall bellow your expectations. What did you do in that situation. Did you walk away after politely explaining that you weren’t compatible or after a drink or two did you throw caution to the wind and get on with it.
Regards, Eltigre
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Standards
Sex God
What do you mean by 'after a drink or two did you throw caution to the wind and get on with it.'?
We usually meet socially first, so that we can talk afterward about whether we'd want to meet a person/couple again to play. That also gives the other people the opportunity to do the same. We have met and played on the first meet but it's not our 'normal' way of doing things. However, when we have, it's not been because we've had a couple of drinks and just gone for it. If someone falls below our expectations (ie we don't fancy them/like them), we don't play with them.
We usually meet socially first, so that we can talk afterward about whether we'd want to meet a person/couple again to play. That also gives the other people the opportunity to do the same. We have met and played on the first meet but it's not our 'normal' way of doing things. However, when we have, it's not been because we've had a couple of drinks and just gone for it. If someone falls below our expectations (ie we don't fancy them/like them), we don't play with them.
Quote by Freckledbird
What do you mean by 'after a drink or two did you throw caution to the wind and get on with it.'?
Not phrased as well as it should have been.
I meant forget that things aren't quite as good as you would like them to be and not make a decission until you have had a chance to get to know the people better.
Eltigre
Having read through a good number of posts I understand the way that the majority people prefer to "do business". There is a well established protocol which makes sense.
I was wondering if for the sake of a good night sometimes people compromised at all. Good relationship can develop after negative first impressions.
Eltigre
PS. By "good night" I don't mean having sex.
I was wondering if for the sake of a good night sometimes people compromised at all. Good relationship can develop after negative first impressions.
Eltigre
PS. By "good night" I don't mean having sex.
Sex God
Quote by Eltigre
Having read through a good number of posts I understand the way that the majority people prefer to "do business". There is a well established protocol which makes sense.
I was wondering if for the sake of a good night sometimes people compromised at all. Good relationship can develop after negative first impressions.
Eltigre
I don't think there's a protocol as such - people have their own ideas about how they want things to progress. Lots of people do meet and play on the first date, always. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, as long as all are happy with the arrangement.
Your use of the word 'compromise' and the phrase 'after a drink or two did you throw caution to the wind and get on with it', suggests that maybe some people play even when they don't feel like it, just for the sake of playing/for a good night. That may be true. I doubt it would apply to everyone though. And I doubt that anyone would admit to doing that in open forum. There's got to be something there, to want to play.
Good relationships might well develop after negative first impressions, but I'd say that's more as a result of meeting socially on more than one occasion, not as a result of playing on the first occasion regardless.
Must agree with Freckles.
I think it's horses for courses. I think the person with the biggest problem might be the individual that in life has problems saying "no" or giving people bad news.
Personally I would walk away if I did not like the look of someone, or sometimes more importantly, if there was a serious personality clash? Obviously you would try to be nice and "flower it up" a bit, (theres no need to be nasty) but I would guess that a polite "no" would be in order?
I think this probably is a bigger issue for fems and couples than for single males, as I can honestly say from chatrrom experience that if some of the talk in there turned into action, given some of the individuals concerned, I would be amazed! :shock:
The old adage "each to their own" certainly applies on this site!
I think it's horses for courses. I think the person with the biggest problem might be the individual that in life has problems saying "no" or giving people bad news.
Personally I would walk away if I did not like the look of someone, or sometimes more importantly, if there was a serious personality clash? Obviously you would try to be nice and "flower it up" a bit, (theres no need to be nasty) but I would guess that a polite "no" would be in order?
I think this probably is a bigger issue for fems and couples than for single males, as I can honestly say from chatrrom experience that if some of the talk in there turned into action, given some of the individuals concerned, I would be amazed! :shock:
The old adage "each to their own" certainly applies on this site!
Freckledbird
Thanks for the great explanation. I appreciate that different people will have different ways of conducting their meetings.
I know that written communication is very easy to misinterpret, especially when I am writing it. That is why I added the PS to my last post. When I talk about compromising I followed up by mentioning first impressions which is initially what we all react to. The question probably should have been…..Though the people you meet don’t really come up to your normal standards, do you ignore your first impressions at a meeting, have a few drinks, give it a chance and see what the people are really like?
I’ve read through it a few times and I think that I have it right now.
Eltigre
Thanks for the great explanation. I appreciate that different people will have different ways of conducting their meetings.
I know that written communication is very easy to misinterpret, especially when I am writing it. That is why I added the PS to my last post. When I talk about compromising I followed up by mentioning first impressions which is initially what we all react to. The question probably should have been…..Though the people you meet don’t really come up to your normal standards, do you ignore your first impressions at a meeting, have a few drinks, give it a chance and see what the people are really like?
I’ve read through it a few times and I think that I have it right now.
Eltigre
The only reason we would not meet up with a couple again would be personality clashes. There has never been an issue for us with looks or how people dress etc. The only other factor would be that as we are extremely clean people, hygiene is a high priority to us and we expect the same back.
We take our time getting to know people anyway via cam, texts, pics etc., so the formalities there are out the way. On a meet, we've fortunately always got on with the couple but should it happen that we didn't all click, honesty is the best policy I'm afraid and certainly not a few more drinks and "get on with it".
We take our time getting to know people anyway via cam, texts, pics etc., so the formalities there are out the way. On a meet, we've fortunately always got on with the couple but should it happen that we didn't all click, honesty is the best policy I'm afraid and certainly not a few more drinks and "get on with it".
Quote by SuperDave
Personally I would walk away if I did not like the look of someone, or sometimes more importantly, if there was a serious personality clash? Obviously you would try to be nice and "flower it up" a bit, (theres no need to be nasty) but I would guess that a polite "no" would be in order?
I feel the same way. It would be important for me to be honest but not hurtful. Looks are important to me but are less so where someone has a great character.
Cheers, Eltigre
Quote by Eltigre
The question probably should have been…..Though the people you meet don’t really come up to your normal standards, do you ignore your first impressions at a meeting, have a few drinks, give it a chance and see what the people are really like?
I’ve read through it a few times and I think that I have it right now.
Eltigre
I tried to reply a few times but didnt know if I was getting the question right
now you have explained, here goes 
I wouldnt say that I have standards as such. Theres lots of different things that attract me to different people.
Sometimes first impressions can be wrong as people do act differently to their norm when they are in a stressful situation like a first time meet, social etc.
The first social I ever went to, I was later refered to as the the one who looked like a rabbit in the headlights
Although that is not normally me. I may have seemed a little quiet and sometimes people mistake that for being stuck up :? So, someones first impression of me may have been totally wrong and I would hope that they would see past this first encounter and give me the benefit of the doubt.
Im not too bad when you get to know me. Honest :giggle:
Louise xx
Sex God
Quote by Eltigre
Freckledbird
Thanks for the great explanation. I appreciate that different people will have different ways of conducting their meetings.
I know that written communication is very easy to misinterpret, especially when I am writing it. That is why I added the PS to my last post. When I talk about compromising I followed up by mentioning first impressions which is initially what we all react to. The question probably should have been…..Though the people you meet don’t really come up to your normal standards, do you ignore your first impressions at a meeting, have a few drinks, give it a chance and see what the people are really like?
I’ve read through it a few times and I think that I have it right now.
Eltigre
I think you've clarified your points, yes :) You must have added your PS as I was typing my response!
I think I'd say that the bit I've made bold would be OK - we wouldn't just look at someone and make up our minds based on appearances. We'd at least stay for the social aspect and see how we get on. We do tend to meet at socials, munches and the like, so have a good idea what people look like anyway though. That would probably be followed up by PMs/'phone calls before arranging to meet privately (ie couple to couple/single) first for a drink, then deciding on whether to take things further on another occasion.
Sex God
Quote by Eltigre
Personally I would walk away if I did not like the look of someone, or sometimes more importantly, if there was a serious personality clash? Obviously you would try to be nice and "flower it up" a bit, (theres no need to be nasty) but I would guess that a polite "no" would be in order?
I feel the same way. It would be important for me to be honest but not hurtful. Looks are important to me but are less so where someone has a great character.
Cheers, Eltigre
But if you walked away because you didn't like the look of someone, how would you know if they had a great character?
Quote by jaymar
The only reason we would not meet up with a couple again would be personality clashes. There has never been an issue for us with looks or how people dress etc. The only other factor would be that as we are extremely clean people, hygiene is a high priority to us and we expect the same back.
We take our time getting to know people anyway via cam, texts, pics etc., so the formalities there are out the way. On a meet, we've fortunately always got on with the couple but should it happen that we didn't all click, honesty is the best policy I'm afraid and certainly not a few more drinks and "get on with it".
Thanks for the comments
Hygiene is very important and something that you will not know about until you get together. That is something that has to be spot on, for me if it wasn't I could not continue with a meeting.
I had not taken into account getting to know people before getting together so that would prepare you pretty well.
Eltigre
Quote by Freckledbird
Personally I would walk away if I did not like the look of someone, or sometimes more importantly, if there was a serious personality clash? Obviously you would try to be nice and "flower it up" a bit, (theres no need to be nasty) but I would guess that a polite "no" would be in order?
I feel the same way. It would be important for me to be honest but not hurtful. Looks are important to me but are less so where someone has a great character.
Cheers, Eltigre
But if you waled away because you didn't like the look of someone, how would you know if they had a great character?
I'm not doing very well today
I didn't say I would walk away. I like to think that in most circumstances I would give the person a chance. I am not implying that I am anything special I should say instead of "the person" the relationship a chance. That is not to imply that I am looking for a relationship as such.....and by saying that I hope that no one gets the idea that I'm a thoughtless swine who is just interested in sex. Right then I am starting to feel like I'm walking on eggshells so I'll have a brew.
Or......are you talking about Daves post?
Cheers, Eltigre
Sex God
Quote by Eltigre
Personally I would walk away if I did not like the look of someone, or sometimes more importantly, if there was a serious personality clash? Obviously you would try to be nice and "flower it up" a bit, (theres no need to be nasty) but I would guess that a polite "no" would be in order?
I feel the same way. It would be important for me to be honest but not hurtful. Looks are important to me but are less so where someone has a great character.
Cheers, Eltigre
But if you walked away because you didn't like the look of someone, how would you know if they had a great character?
I'm not doing very well today
I didn't say I would walk away. I like to think that in most circumstances I would give the person a chance. I am not implying that I am anything special I should say instead of "the person" the relationship a chance. That is not to imply that I am looking for a relationship as such.....and by saying that I hope that no one gets the idea that I'm a thoughtless swine who is just interested in sex. Right then I am starting to feel like I'm walking on eggshells so I'll have a brew.
Or......are you talking about Daves post?
Cheers, Eltigre
Both of you. He said he would walk away if he did not like the look of someone and you said you felt the same way. You said that looks were less important when someone has a great character, but how would you know if you'd walked away?
Sex God
Quote by louise_and_joe
Etigre
You wouldnt be one of those people who are constantly mis-read by any chance are you? Nothing seems to come out right :doh:
:giggle:
louise xx
Bless him, we've all been there eh?
Eltigre, not having a dig at you, sorry.
Quote by Eltigre
The only reason we would not meet up with a couple again would be personality clashes. There has never been an issue for us with looks or how people dress etc. The only other factor would be that as we are extremely clean people, hygiene is a high priority to us and we expect the same back.
We take our time getting to know people anyway via cam, texts, pics etc., so the formalities there are out the way. On a meet, we've fortunately always got on with the couple but should it happen that we didn't all click, honesty is the best policy I'm afraid and certainly not a few more drinks and "get on with it".
Thanks for the comments
Hygiene is very important and something that you will not know about until you get together. That is something that has to be spot on, for me if it wasn't I could not continue with a meeting.
I had not taken into account getting to know people before getting together so that would prepare you pretty well.
Eltigre
I disagree slightly, you are talking about personal genital hygiene, which of course you won't know until you get intimate. I'm talking in relation to visual hygiene also, that can be nice clean skin, nails, teeth, well groomed clean clothes.. etc.,
What goes on on the top follows through to the underneath
Quote by jaymar
The only reason we would not meet up with a couple again would be personality clashes. There has never been an issue for us with looks or how people dress etc. The only other factor would be that as we are extremely clean people, hygiene is a high priority to us and we expect the same back.
We take our time getting to know people anyway via cam, texts, pics etc., so the formalities there are out the way. On a meet, we've fortunately always got on with the couple but should it happen that we didn't all click, honesty is the best policy I'm afraid and certainly not a few more drinks and "get on with it".
Thanks for the comments
Hygiene is very important and something that you will not know about until you get together. That is something that has to be spot on, for me if it wasn't I could not continue with a meeting.
I had not taken into account getting to know people before getting together so that would prepare you pretty well.
Eltigre
I disagree slightly, you are talking about personal genital hygiene, which of course you won't know until you get intimate. I'm talking in relation to visual hygiene also, that can be nice clean skin, nails, teeth, well groomed clean clothes.. etc.,
What goes on on the top follows through to the underneath
Nope, sorry again.
I wasn't talking about genital hygiene (though that is important). Photos can be changed or old. You can't tell what a person smells like until you are close to them.Eltigre
Quote by SuperDave
Must agree with Freckles.
Personally I would walk away if I did not like the look of someone, or sometimes more importantly, if there was a serious personality clash? Obviously you would try to be nice and "flower it up" a bit, (theres no need to be nasty) but I would guess that a polite "no" would be in order?
I am going to have to be more careful when using quotes.
I apologise for any confusion. I don't think that SuperDave meant that he would simply turn tail and make a bolt for the door. In reading his next sentence I assumed that he might at least engage in some conversation at which point he would see what they were like. But, that is only my interpretation of his post. 
ops: I was agreeing with the "or sometimes more importantly, if there was a serious personality clash?" part.
In future I will take much more care when posting as I am a sensitive lad (my mates at the "potting pansies for winter cheer forum" tell me so) and I don't like to be the cause any confusion or upset .
Joking apart, posts that can be interpreted negatively frequently are. It is easy to find fault if you look for it.
Regards, Eltigre
Sex God
Quote by Eltigre
Joking apart, posts that can be interpreted negatively frequently are. It is easy to find fault if you look for it.
It's also easy to find fault when posts aren't clear enough, or could be interpreted in different ways. You don't have to be looking for it.
You said yourself, 'But, that is only my interpretation of his post' - were you looking to interpret it in a particular way? I doubt it.
Quote by Freckledbird
Joking apart, posts that can be interpreted negatively frequently are. It is easy to find fault if you look for it.
It's also easy to find fault when posts aren't clear enough, or could be interpreted in different ways. You don't have to be looking for it.
You said yourself, 'But, that is only my interpretation of his post' - were you looking to interpret it in a particular way? I doubt it.
I agree that my original post wasn't clear but I tried to clear that up when I saw how it could be interpreted.
Of course I interepreted SuperDaves post in my way as you do with everything you read. What makes your interpretation right and mine wrong? I stand by my statement.
From day one, which wasn't long ago, I have tried to be honest in my dealings with everyone here. Your doubts are unfounded and I am not too keen on being called a liar.Eltigre
Sex God
Quote by Eltigre
I agree that my original post wasn't clear but I tried to clear that up when I saw how it could be interpreted.
Of course I interepreted SuperDaves post in my way as you do with everything you read. What makes your interpretation right and mine wrong? I stand by my statement.
Eltigre
Everyone interprets things in their own way. My 'doubts' weren't doubts, they were questions I raised as a result of something else posted. I haven't said your interpretation was wrong. I most definitely haven't called you a liar.
Quote by Freckledbird
Joking apart, posts that can be interpreted negatively frequently are. It is easy to find fault if you look for it.
It's also easy to find fault when posts aren't clear enough, or could be interpreted in different ways. You don't have to be looking for it.
You said yourself, 'But, that is only my interpretation of his post' - were you looking to interpret it in a particular way? I doubt it.
I told you how I interpreted his post. You said that you doubt that I did. That makes me think that you are calling me a liar and I feel that I won't be alone in thinking that.
Eltigre
Quote by Eltigre
From day one, which wasn't long ago, I have tried to be honest in my dealings with everyone here. Your doubts are unfounded and I am not too keen on being called a liar.
Eltigre
From what I can see, freckledbird has not called you a liar. She has simply asked you questions so that you could clarify what you meant.
Im sure that you will agree that your opinions seem to change from one post to the next. Whether its because you are just writing them down wrong or not, who knows.
Dont take things so personally ( yeah right, I can talk
)No harm or malice is meant :thumbup: Louise xx
Sex God
Quote by Eltigre
Joking apart, posts that can be interpreted negatively frequently are. It is easy to find fault if you look for it.
It's also easy to find fault when posts aren't clear enough, or could be interpreted in different ways. You don't have to be looking for it.
You said yourself, 'But, that is only my interpretation of his post' - were you looking to interpret it in a particular way? I doubt it.
I told you how I interpreted his post. You said that you doubt that I did. That makes me think that you are calling me a liar and I feel that I won't be alone in thinking that.
Eltigre
I asked if you were looking to interpret his post in a particular way and that I doubt that you did. I meant that I doubted you meant to interpret it in any particular way! In other words, that you read his post without any preconceived ideas.
The other way of looking at it, is to say that you intended to interpret his post how you wanted to. That would be bad.
I haven't called you a liar or said that your interpretation was incorrect.
Quote by louise_and_joe
From day one, which wasn't long ago, I have tried to be honest in my dealings with everyone here. Your doubts are unfounded and I am not too keen on being called a liar.
Eltigre
From what I can see, freckledbird has not called you a liar. She has simply asked you questions so that you could clarify what you meant.
Im sure that you will agree that your opinions seem to change from one post to the next. Whether its because you are just writing them down wrong or not, who knows.
Dont take things so personally ( yeah right, I can talk
)No harm or malice is meant :thumbup: Louise xx
Louise
How else would you interpet this "were you looking to interpret it in a particular way? I doubt it"
My opinions have stayed constant. Though I have not presented them well and have made poor use of a quote I think that most people will understand me.
I don't generally take things personally until they become personal
and the comment above was.Regards, Eltigre
Sex God
Quote by Eltigre
How else would you interpet this "were you looking to interpret it in a particular way? I doubt it"
My opinions have stayed constant. Though I have not presented them well and have made poor use of a quote I think that most people will understand me.
I don't generally take things personally until they become personal
Regards, Eltigre
I said 'were you looking to interpret it in a particular way? I doubt it.' In other words, I doubt you were looking to interpret his post in a particular way.
Yes, it was a personal comment - I thought it was a positive one, saying that you'd not sought to misinterpret someone's post.
But hey, you read/interpret what you want.
