Straight guys kissing bi/gay guys to say "Hello"

17 Dec 2006

Inspired by a couple of other threads on the go at the moment, I thought I'd ask a question that I've had in my head for a while.
It is a real question.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
In my time here, and at munches/socials/playtimes, I've been lightheartedly described as (amongst other things redface

and

and :grin: ) "The gayest straight bloke" "The best straight male kisser" (of other men) etc
I don't advertise the fact, nor do I deny it - but I am a massive fan (in that I have a great deal of time for) sexually liberated, horny, fun PEOPLE and that obviously includes gay/bi people. In truth - I find their straightness and openness rather refreshing.
When I bump into people I know, like, respect, etc - I will often kiss, hug/physically embrace them in a "Hello" kind of way.
Clearly, if there is any "sexual desire" for that person, there may be a little more "groin area" contact surprised

ops: - forgive me - I'm a bloke.
But. leaving the girls aside (if I must) it often occurs to me that I have a concern.
Those that know me well, will understand that it horrifies me to think I have offended someone unintentionally.
So here's my concern, and my question . . . . .
How do the bi men feel, being kissed by a straight guy ?
I don't mean a full on snog, with tongues and groin pressing/rubbing. I'm talking about the "hello - almost peck" But on the lips.
Strangely, I feel more comfortable pecking him on the lips than on say the side of the cheek dunno

I have sometimes seen the reaction of one or two range from shock to total confusion. There was even one that nearly dropped his pint, and his female munch buddy nearly had a stroke. (but couldn't reach wink

) And I know that I've been "talked about" and "asked about" regarding my own sexuality.
What worries me most is that they will feel I'm taking the piss. Almost in a "tourist in a gay bar" sort of way.

17 Dec 2006

Quote by dambuster
How do the bi men feel, being kissed by a straight guy ?
I don't mean a full on snog, with tongues and groin pressing/rubbing. I'm talking about the "hello - almost peck" But on the lips.

Just asked His this question in a round about way as he is straight as well. He feels that he would not kiss another man as this would confuse the other person.
As a bi woman I don't get confused if a straight woman gives me a kiss. Is there a gender difference here?

17 Dec 2006

Quote by hisandhers
As a bi woman I don't get confused if a straight woman gives me a kiss. Is there a gender difference here?

I think there is a gender difference.
Women seem to be more openly affectionate than most men.
Maybe it's just that I'm in touch with my bi-feminine side dunno

:confused: rotflmao

17 Dec 2006

I've never ever seen two guys kiss helloat a munch/ social/ party/ club yet :shock: dunno

Occasionally hugs in a manly-man 'alright mate' mutual respect kinda way , the women just kiss and hug everybody :giggle:, and 2 blokes snogging at the request of a fem for the 'laugh' but never as an 'hello' :dunno:
hmmm, more thought on this I think wink

edited 1 minute later to say : ooooo maybe I have seen it and its 'normal' enough to not even register that I've seen it :dunno: loon

*wanders off pondering*

17 Dec 2006

I don't know if you remember your Chesterfield 'do' when the pressies were being given but we managed a peck then! Now that's a peck between two straight guys confused

Just seemed the natural thing to do to someone you liked but I have wondered since, why it happened. I think it's sort of a body language thing - you start down the path and unless one of stands aside then it just happens.
Sorry, that doesn't answer yer question does it. But I think it does demonstrate that if it is done in a friendly way, it doesn't have to offend or imply that yer taking the piss with a bi/gay fella.
Oh, and the rumour going 'round that I only did it to be able to try and grapple with a certain little blonde standing next to ya is a scurrilous lie!..
.

17 Dec 2006

I promised to give Bloke2005....a big back slapping hug at the Notts munch,when i finally meet him.....but he won't be getting a peck on the cheek let alone the lips......i'll save that just for the ladies!..... wink

17 Dec 2006

Quote by dambuster
How do the bi men feel, being kissed by a straight guy ?.

I can only talk from my perspective... and when a straight woman kisses me. It is a kiss hello. I see nothing sexual in it. (In fact when a bi-woman kisses me with or without tongues I would take that as just being friendly I aint the brightest star in the sky when it comes to knowing if someone is interested.)

Quote by dambuster
What worries me most is that they will feel I'm taking the piss. Almost in a "tourist in a gay bar" sort of way

I would only think that you were taking the piss if you said "I really fancy you and I want to have sex with you .... meet me in my hotel room later and we will shag" and when I turned up you laughed at my stupidity cos you were taking the piss.
There is nothing more insulting to someones' sexuality than those who wax lyrical about how cool they are about gay/bi people. And then go on to protest vehemently about how straight they are. It is like they are politely (?) saying ... "you can be as gay/bi as you like just don't do "it" near me because it is actually something I find disgusting".
Someone like yourself who is happy with your own sexuality is a huge turn on. (yeah I did say that. redface

)
The men on here who I know to be straight who flirt with a certain gay male "forumite" actually really make me scream with laughter. They are not constantly referring to their sexuality and know that the man they are flirting with is not going to track them down and them.
A kiss on the lips is a way of saying hello and is also a sign of respect. I would actually take it as a huge compliment.
phew.. I think that this is the longest post I have done in ages.

17 Dec 2006

Thank you Gorgeous.
I had sort of dis-counted the girls from the question on the grounds that girlies are usually more overtly openly touchyfeely than men.

A kiss on the lips is a way of saying hello and is also a sign of respect. I would actually take it as a huge compliment.

I've never actually thought of it that way - but I would have to agree.
As to being comfortable with my own "sexuality" . . . . . . . . . . .
Although I've never wanted (or done) sexually interact directly with a bloke (the closest being double vaginal penetration) I actually consider myself more just "sexual" than heterosexual.
The only reason I don't more often quote Dale Winton is that I wouldn't want to "confuse" people more than some already are; or to have them feel personally insulted when I have to say no. thank you.

17 Dec 2006

I regard myself as very mildly bi-sexual and I'd have a fit and throw my legs in the air if a guy kissed me. If he kissed me on the lips I'd probably pass out on the spot, if he pecked me on the cheek I'd rush about raving.
Strangely I find no conflict in a wanking situation, but I just don't want to get that intimate with a guy, ever.

17 Dec 2006

i am a straight guy... when i meet people at the munch i tend to kiss people on the cheeks anyway.... so it doesn't bother me if is is a girl or a guy.... if i a guy wants a manly handshake or a hug then that is fine.....
but for me there is a difference between a kiss on the lips and a kiss on the cheeks and i wouldn't do that if it came across as being "over-familular"
i don't thing this conversation would be happening if we were on the continent.... it this it is very much an "uptight english language county" thing........

17 Dec 2006

Personally when meeting anyone I always give a peck on the cheek..
I would never be so familiar as to kiss anyone on the lips other than in a sexual situation..
I wouldnt feel comfortable being kissed by a guy either on the cheek or the lips..

17 Dec 2006

Quote by musketeer
I'd have a fit and throw my legs in the air if a guy kissed me.

Almost a bizarre contradiction in terms there... I know what you meant but it made me giggle...
wink

I'd never kiss anyone 'hello' (male or female) if I felt/knew that it would make them feel uncomfortable (and I don't mean on the lips) confused

Anyone I 'know' from here will know that my usual way of greeting them is a kiss on the cheek... but that's the difference, I 'know' them biggrin

That said, I'm a tactile person and would have no objection to someone kissing me (on the cheek) by way of a 'hello'... male or female. I lived and worked in France for a while and there it was commonplace and quite acceptable for two men that knew one another to kiss (cheek to cheek, twice and sometimes three times) redface

I was quite endeared recently when Mr Bloke and I met for dinner with two friends and the male half of the couple gave me a friendly 'peck' on the cheek... but then I guess that there are some people that just feel comfortable with that and others that would be horrified. I'm fairly intuitive and sometimes you get the feel that it's just 'ok' but would be pushed to know why/how :D
What I do object to is people that I don't know launching themselves at me, mouths open, tongues out and lashing... male or female lol

Again, I feel it's all back to 'the norm' and our psychological reference point as to whether or not we perceive it to be right or wrong, I guess :P
Interesting post Dammie... sweetie :inlove:
:thumbup:

17 Dec 2006

Quote by Bloke2005
What I do object to is people that I don't know launching themselves at me, mouths open, tongues out and lashing... male or female

makes mental note for north east social :cry:
Earthy

17 Dec 2006

When I meet up with friends/family that I have not seen for ages I always kiss them on the cheek and give them a hug.

18 Dec 2006

I had a bit of a quandary last year when I was introduced to a transvestite..................
Should I shake his hand firmly and say ' Orate mate' in a deep masculine voice (or the deepest that I could muster anyway confused

or give a gentle kiss on the cheek :?
After about 2 nanoseconds I opted for the kiss.............which seemed to be received with the intent that was meant...............just a 'Hello' and nothing sexual.
Still puzzling now wether I made the right choice or not :?

18 Dec 2006

Just goes to show how unliberated and Victorian attitudes still are in this day an age of the so called sexually permissive society. Seeing 2 females hug n kiss or walking down the street hand in hand and no one bats an eyelid, see 2 males doing the same and eyebrows are raised and you here tutt tutt they must be gay, whatever next esp from older females. In the end it all boils down to how we are brought up as children either in a loving tactile environment where hugs n kisses are the norm or in a prudish no touching one.
And to show u what i mean as a father i am very very careful how much affection i show my young son in public because of the fear of being labeled and persecuted as a and i suspect that is the greatest fear of most of the male population.

18 Dec 2006

Quote by rogerndi
And to show u what i mean as a father i am very very careful how much affection i show my young son in public because of the fear of being labeled and persecuted as a and i suspect that is the greatest fear of most of the male population.

...and more so when you're not. I don't have kids, I like them. I famously wander round supermarkets making faces at them, but one knows that if, for example, a kid fell over, I would not go to help, I'd let Mummy or some other lady near-by do it. It's an absolute minefield, and if it actually isn't a minefield it certainly feels like one.

18 Dec 2006

Ok from a gay mans point of view, whenever I meet other gay friends, it's always a peck on the cheek to say hello. But I would never even think about kissing a str8 bloke on the cheek, to say hello and have never had a str8 bloke offer to kiss when meeting.
For me kissing a str8 friend, even thou they know I am gay, I feel would make them uncomfortable as they are str8 and *str8 men don't kiss other men*............
*Maybe I should start kissing more str8 men and see where it leads me *
*heads off to find the mistletoe* passionkiss

M&T xx

18 Dec 2006

I see it a lot at munches and socials and never think anything of it.
Obviously I can't speak for the men but as a woman if we can do it, why can't they??
My only opinion as far as men are concerned is they worry about how others portray them . Unfortunately society has a lot too blame for that as shown in the last two posts.
I believe as swingers we are all equal and hopefully as more men see they are not judged by anyone they will feel more comfortable showing affection without them being uncomfortable about it all.
Personally just because a bi/gay woman gives me a snog I don't assume they want to jump my bones and I would assume thats the same for men.

18 Dec 2006

The only man i ever gave a peck on the cheek was my grandad!

18 Dec 2006

Quote by Mr-Powers
The only man i ever gave a peck on the cheek was my grandad!

For now.... :twisted:

18 Dec 2006

Quote by Bloke2005
The only man i ever gave a peck on the cheek was my grandad!

For now.... :twisted:
well i better make sure i've eaten garlic before we meet! lol

18 Dec 2006

Quote by Mr-Powers
The only man i ever gave a peck on the cheek was my grandad!

For now.... :twisted:
well i better make sure i've eaten garlic before we meet! lol

Yes... and douched :rascal:

18 Dec 2006

Quote by Bloke2005
Yes... and douched :rascal:

:laughabove:
:lol2:
:rascal:
:giggle:

18 Dec 2006

hmmm, there are number of valid points in this thread, like to add my point of view if I may. Firstly being kissed or kissing another man is not normal etiquette (spell ckeck) in our society as hetrosexuals. It differs in our perception of sexuality, and what may be 'acceptable' for one may not for another.
We have to respect that regardless of our own beliefs or ways.
I would not be offended if a gay man kissed me on the cheek as a hello, I would however be a little uncomfortable if kissed on the lips especially if never met before. But, from my experience and that of some of the comments made that doesn't happen. To me anyway! maybe not cute enough?
I think its fair to say that those who prefer Not to be kissed by another man have that right and shouldlnt be made to feel awkward, but those that do like to kiss, even a peck on the cheek, should also have their thoughts considered. after all is said and done, it's only a kiss.
Not like you're going to be classed a sex starved homosexual or lesbian(musn't forget the girls) is it?
Respect, that's what it boils down to.
X

18 Dec 2006

Quote by dambuster
When I bump into people I know, like, respect, etc - I will often kiss, hug/physically embrace them in a "Hello" kind of way.
How do the bi men feel, being kissed by a straight guy ?
I don't mean a full on snog, with tongues and groin pressing/rubbing. I'm talking about the "hello - almost peck" But on the lips.
.

going back to what Dammie put originally..... he is asking (I believe) in relation to the people he knows. I would take exception to anyone I didn't know kissing me anywhere..or indeed touching me at all...be it hug or arm touch etc. I am very precious about my personal space. I think that is nothing to do with my sexuality or gender.

18 Dec 2006

They can kiss my arse if they think I'll ever let.......................hang on! :shock:

18 Dec 2006

Quote by splendid33
I would take exception to anyone I didn't know...or indeed touching me at all...be it hug or arm touch etc. I am very precious about my personal space.

:notes: ...I must not hug Splendid...
It seems to be really hard to get this stuff right! :shock:
I personally have no issues giving anybody a hug - regardless of how well I know them, their gender or sexuality.
Kissing is harder - I think my shyness gets in the way here, also fear that I'll make a pig ear of it.
So everybody who likes hugs, here's one from me: passionkiss

36 x

18 Dec 2006

It's why I love to go to France,straight men with lovely rough faces kiss you on both cheeks all the time. rolleyes

18 Dec 2006

Quote by Darkfire
I've never ever seen two guys kiss hello at a munch/ social/ party/ club yet :shock:

really? i can think of at least one bloke who insists on a big smacker on the lips whenever we meet, purely in a kinda hiya neil fella, how's tricks kinda way. it's not a bi thing, it's a friendly gesture we know means absolutely bugger all? nothing more than a shared joke?
am i offended? i might be more offended if i didn't get a kiss next time? i'd wonder what i'd done? :dunno: ;)
kisses at munches ((( between those who know eachother very well, and are sure each is comfortable with it <<< and i can't stress that enough!!! ;) >>> )))) are rarely sexual in intent. whether that's a kiss with a girlie, or a lip-smacking kiss with a guy, the intent is much the same as i might put into a handshake? confused

of course, when someone i've never seen from adam tries to snog my face off, that is a VERY different matter altogether.
neil x x x ;)