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stupidest thing you have ever done.
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Sex God
Gosh brucie, you've lived some lives!
Stupid things? Me... too many to mention!
Stupid things? Me... too many to mention!
Master of Sex
In my silly youth, I had a small-ish 175cc motorbike. One saturday, I took my L plates off and took my mate out on pillion for a ride. At a roundabout, 2 guys on a Kawasaki 900 pulled alongside and I stupidly decided to chase them. Yes, they left the stupid young female on the small bike standing but I didn't know the area and took a bend too fast, not knowing there was a T junction with lights ahead.
There was no way I could stop ... the lights were at red and I just ploughed through them, couldn't make the tight left turn, hit the central reservation and ended up on the opposite carriageway.
How I didn't kill myself, my friend and possibly people in cars coming the other way, god only knows!
My guardian angel was with me that day!
Sugar x
There was no way I could stop ... the lights were at red and I just ploughed through them, couldn't make the tight left turn, hit the central reservation and ended up on the opposite carriageway.
How I didn't kill myself, my friend and possibly people in cars coming the other way, god only knows!
My guardian angel was with me that day!
Sugar x
Quote by brucie
i'll start...
when i was in the army we had a rota for burning all the classified papers once a week. this included ariel photographs, memos etc. we had a furnace which was about 8 ft tall and 4ft by 4ft . it had a door to put the stuff in and a tray underneath for the ashes. oh and a chimney on top. burning the stuff would take a couple of hours as you had to feed it slowly or the fire would be smothered and go out.
so one week when i was on the rota with a mate. that friday a band were coming to play on the base (you know entertain the troops and all that. they were one of my favourite bands at the time. so i had A BRIGHT IDEA to make the stuff burn quicker. i walked down to the petrol pump on the base and filled a bucket with petrol. put all the papers in and covered them in the petrol. threw a match in...
the furnace exploded and took off like a space rocket... luckily the fireball shot out the top through the chimney as the thing went 20ft off the ground. it came back down and burned for a while melting the whole furnace.
on the explosion the whole base was sent in to high alert and everyone to their posts... by the time "the authorities" found out what had happened the gig had been cancelled and everyone was generally fucked off.
my mate and i were court marshalled and spent 2 weeks in the stockade (which basically meant we did gardening around the base for 2 weeks)...
didnt stop me going on to be a lieutenant before i left the army. although i was asked about the incident in the selection for officers course process (the army i served in does not have people going to officers course from day 1. you need to spend over a year in the ranks before selection).
how about you?
Foriegn legion????
A day doesn’t go by with out me doing at least one thing stupid.
But my most recent one, must of been re-locating a Cardboard compactor from inside our warehouse, to outside.
We were going through a large refit in our warehouse... relocating racking, and installing a new lab. So this Compactor was in the way and needed to be moved outside the warehouse... I got a quote in for a crane which would lift the item and transport it out of the building. The quote came back at about £800. so I thought there must be a cheaper option out there. I scoured the internet and found a website where you could hire heavy duty Skates (wheels you place under the unit)., which cost about £80. after reading the description of the item, My brain when into gear and thought... all we need to do, is lift up the compactor with the fork lift, drop these underneath then tow it out with the fork lift truck...
Easy peasy!.. Or so i thought.
Next day, guy dropped off the equipment. So between me and a few lads from the warehouse we proceeded to give it a try.
Fork lift max weight = 1.5 tonne... Compactor = between 3 and 4 tonnes. So the Fork lift wasn’t could not lift it up. glanced over to the other side of the warehouse and spotted the other fork lift truck…..Again my brain went into gear and thought 2 fork lift would solve it….... after about an hour of fumbling around and half destroying the Goods lift which was next to it. We got the skates underneath.
Next we attached the tow rope to both the Compactor and fork lift proceeded to pull it out... all was going swimmingly until we got to the back door
With all this I forgot one simple thing. There is a slight downward slope as you leave the warehouse. Just to give you the right picture in your head.. think what would happen to a 3 tonne,12ft high shopping trolley being pushed down a slope. Well this compactor acted in the very same way, and decided to go on its own route and went to over take the driver in the forklift, it got half way to doing so before toppling over... with me standing right behind it... not sure what i was thinking at the time. But my first reaction was to lift my arms to support the weight... this idea lasted all of a second before jumping out of the way. Before it crashed to the ground.
We now have a large compactor lying face up on the floor…. Only way to get it back to its correct position …… contact the company that gave us a quote to hire the crane to come out and lift it up.
Looking back, on it... i suppose I’m glad it fell my way, as i could move... if it had gone the opposite direction it would of landed on the forklift.. Probably killing the guy driving it.
You wouldn’t think i was in charge of health and safer would ya!
But my most recent one, must of been re-locating a Cardboard compactor from inside our warehouse, to outside.
We were going through a large refit in our warehouse... relocating racking, and installing a new lab. So this Compactor was in the way and needed to be moved outside the warehouse... I got a quote in for a crane which would lift the item and transport it out of the building. The quote came back at about £800. so I thought there must be a cheaper option out there. I scoured the internet and found a website where you could hire heavy duty Skates (wheels you place under the unit)., which cost about £80. after reading the description of the item, My brain when into gear and thought... all we need to do, is lift up the compactor with the fork lift, drop these underneath then tow it out with the fork lift truck...
Easy peasy!.. Or so i thought.
Next day, guy dropped off the equipment. So between me and a few lads from the warehouse we proceeded to give it a try.
Fork lift max weight = 1.5 tonne... Compactor = between 3 and 4 tonnes. So the Fork lift wasn’t could not lift it up. glanced over to the other side of the warehouse and spotted the other fork lift truck…..Again my brain went into gear and thought 2 fork lift would solve it….... after about an hour of fumbling around and half destroying the Goods lift which was next to it. We got the skates underneath.
Next we attached the tow rope to both the Compactor and fork lift proceeded to pull it out... all was going swimmingly until we got to the back door
With all this I forgot one simple thing. There is a slight downward slope as you leave the warehouse. Just to give you the right picture in your head.. think what would happen to a 3 tonne,12ft high shopping trolley being pushed down a slope. Well this compactor acted in the very same way, and decided to go on its own route and went to over take the driver in the forklift, it got half way to doing so before toppling over... with me standing right behind it... not sure what i was thinking at the time. But my first reaction was to lift my arms to support the weight... this idea lasted all of a second before jumping out of the way. Before it crashed to the ground.
We now have a large compactor lying face up on the floor…. Only way to get it back to its correct position …… contact the company that gave us a quote to hire the crane to come out and lift it up.
Looking back, on it... i suppose I’m glad it fell my way, as i could move... if it had gone the opposite direction it would of landed on the forklift.. Probably killing the guy driving it.
You wouldn’t think i was in charge of health and safer would ya!
Orgasminator
Jiggle you have made my week 
last friday i managed to lock myself out and my phone and car keys inside the house. As i had to get somewhere i decided to climb over the garage roof and break in via the kitchen window!
In the porch was a fold up chair so i put this next to the wheely bin and a bar stool that was to go in the bin i put on top of bin!!!! then hauled myself up onto the stool holding on to the hanging basket bracket which detached itself from the wall. Once on the stool i thought i could heave myself up onto the roof, so i grabbed the edge of the roof and hey presto the wheely bin wheeled itself up the drive and fell over, the stool ended up on the ground and i was left dangling from the roof.
i kinda let go at this point and tried to slide down the wall like spider man but it didnt work i ended up ascross the drive flat on my back.
after a surupticious look around to see if anyone had seen i dragged myself and my bruises into the porch
why did i even think i could get on roof and in the mean time i lost my new fluffy slippers as they got wedged between the garage and the fence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the porch was a fold up chair so i put this next to the wheely bin and a bar stool that was to go in the bin i put on top of bin!!!! then hauled myself up onto the stool holding on to the hanging basket bracket which detached itself from the wall. Once on the stool i thought i could heave myself up onto the roof, so i grabbed the edge of the roof and hey presto the wheely bin wheeled itself up the drive and fell over, the stool ended up on the ground and i was left dangling from the roof.
i kinda let go at this point and tried to slide down the wall like spider man but it didnt work i ended up ascross the drive flat on my back.
after a surupticious look around to see if anyone had seen i dragged myself and my bruises into the porch
why did i even think i could get on roof and in the mean time i lost my new fluffy slippers as they got wedged between the garage and the fence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sex God
I once told some friends I was away on holiday, in another country and couldnt come to their party. I really didnt want to go and it was the only excuse I could think of and as they lived a fair distance away, there was no way they would ever know, or work it out.
However, stupidly I went and posted something on their website whilst I was supposed to be sunning myself elsewhere. I never even gave it a thought about the time difference
or my IP address showing that I was still sat home 
ops:
Oh well, we live and learn :oops: :oops:
However, stupidly I went and posted something on their website whilst I was supposed to be sunning myself elsewhere. I never even gave it a thought about the time difference
or my IP address showing that I was still sat home ops: Oh well, we live and learn :oops: :oops:
Mod
When I first started out training in Karate I went to see the latest Martial Arts film, the star did a fantastic spinning kick in it and I thought to my self " that looks a piece of piss.
So the next night I was in a sparring class and I tried the kick and promptly knocked the guy out.
Unfortunately it wasn't' the guy I was fighting but the guy next to me :shock: .
Took a lot of apologizing from me when he woke up to stop him ripping my head off I can tell you
I can do the kick now tho, and even hit who I am aiming at, but I never teach it in my classes until the students have been sparring for years and years
So the next night I was in a sparring class and I tried the kick and promptly knocked the guy out.
Unfortunately it wasn't' the guy I was fighting but the guy next to me :shock: .
Took a lot of apologizing from me when he woke up to stop him ripping my head off I can tell you
I can do the kick now tho, and even hit who I am aiming at, but I never teach it in my classes until the students have been sparring for years and years
trusted people from this site, 2 inparticular spring to mind, i should have stuck with my first thoughts bout them both that they were bigheaded untrustworthy idiots cus thats what they turned out to be !!
also was stupid enough to get married many years ago, thankfully now divorced and living with the love of my life gary
the only good things to come out of my marriage were my kids and i wudnt alter that part :)
also was stupid enough to get married many years ago, thankfully now divorced and living with the love of my life gary
the only good things to come out of my marriage were my kids and i wudnt alter that part :)
Sexpert
Lots of stuff mosty to do with rushing around and falling over or forgetting things
Sexpert
if i start listing all the silly things i have ever done in my life, i may just finish by breakfast time
one of worst has to be stopping to take a phonecall when driving over the A66 from scotch corner to penrith when driving up to scotland... pulled off into a small village, had a very stressful phone call( i will add that is was a miserable drizzly morning)
pulled back onto the road... feeling even more stressed and carried on along the road... about 20 mins later the sun started coming out.. i remember thinking at last!!! then i saw the road sign!! for scotch cornerops: i had turned the wrong way back onto the main road!!! i felt very daft!
one of worst has to be stopping to take a phonecall when driving over the A66 from scotch corner to penrith when driving up to scotland... pulled off into a small village, had a very stressful phone call( i will add that is was a miserable drizzly morning)
pulled back onto the road... feeling even more stressed and carried on along the road... about 20 mins later the sun started coming out.. i remember thinking at last!!! then i saw the road sign!! for scotch corner
ops: i had turned the wrong way back onto the main road!!! i felt very daft! Quote by Sassy-Seren
Driving to work the other night wondering why everything was such a blur til I realised I'd forgotten to put my glasses on
my mam rang the opticians about a year ago convinced she was going blind, on getting there with her glasses they told her they werent her glasses, lol silly bugger had my sisters glasses on
Sex God
Quote by earthchild
Driving to work the other night wondering why everything was such a blur til I realised I'd forgotten to put my glasses on
my mam rang the opticians about a year ago convinced she was going blind, on getting there with her glasses they told her they werent her glasses, lol silly bugger had my sisters glasses on
that is funny One night, in the pub, chatting to a friend about someone who worked for me and not being that polite about them as, in truth, they were not very good.
My mobile phone picked up me speaking their name on "voice dial" and called them without my knowledge and the call lasted 20 minutes......
The next day they were a little unhappy and mentioned I called them from the pub. No idea what they heard....
Even today I do not use voice activated dialing for this reason, and if I need to talk about someone I still check phone isn't on..... And if meeting playmates the phone is fully off! lol!
My mobile phone picked up me speaking their name on "voice dial" and called them without my knowledge and the call lasted 20 minutes......
The next day they were a little unhappy and mentioned I called them from the pub. No idea what they heard....
Even today I do not use voice activated dialing for this reason, and if I need to talk about someone I still check phone isn't on..... And if meeting playmates the phone is fully off! lol!
Quote by OnlyUs
One night, in the pub, chatting to a friend about someone who worked for me and not being that polite about them as, in truth, they were not very good.
My mobile phone picked up me speaking their name on "voice dial" and called them without my knowledge and the call lasted 20 minutes......
The next day they were a little unhappy and mentioned I called them from the pub. No idea what they heard....
Even today I do not use voice activated dialing for this reason, and if I need to talk about someone I still check phone isn't on..... And if meeting playmates the phone is fully off! lol!
i can so relate to that my business partner and i were discussing one of our employees, who i had just finished having a mobile phone conversation with, i had put the mobile in my top pocket after the call and must have leant against ladders or something and managed to re-dial, needless to say he was not chuffed about what we actually thought of him..lolstrained employer to employee relations for a while
Stupidest thing I've ever done only happened at the beginning of Setpmber. I've known someone for 12 years hes the most caring and most loveliest bloke I have ever meet and yes I have always fancied him, and he told me he wanted to have a full on relationship with me, but I turned him down as I wasnt sure if I was ready for a relationship. Our friendship hasnt been the same since, he feels he made a fool of himself.
Orgasminator
I have a cupboard full of stupid things and most will stay there...but..
I stumbled into a chippy somewhere and spotted a rather well endowed lady, i eventually found my way to the counter and asked her for fish and tits, all i know is i have a little cut on my nose that was caused either her striking me with a blunt implement or me striking a blunt floor.....Oh how i miss John Barleycorn.... :beer: ....nix...
I stumbled into a chippy somewhere and spotted a rather well endowed lady, i eventually found my way to the counter and asked her for fish and tits, all i know is i have a little cut on my nose that was caused either her striking me with a blunt implement or me striking a blunt floor.....Oh how i miss John Barleycorn.... :beer: ....nix...
Sex God
Artex confusion.
Sex God
Quote by Resonance
Artex confusion.
That was funny! 
Sex God
Quote by noladreams
Artex confusion.
That was funny!Not for me it wasn't, you didn't see where Splendid put the paintbrushes... :shock:
Sex God
Fallen off a stationary horse!
Orgasminator
Quote by Sarah
Fallen off a stationary horse!
Not during filming i trust.... :shock:
