O yes I have re read and found it. Sorry!
Srne
As a single male, you (and I) are the lowest form of currency on sites like this. Just make the best of your assets and how you present them, and accept the fact that it will probably take months of concerted effort before you even get a reply, let alone a meet.
oh goodness me... I so want to answer what I think you are asking..... but try as I might I just don't have any answers.
(apart from to say that I think it is admirable that you and your ex partner seem to have amicable defined- well done)
I will come back to this.... cos I have seen what you look like and know that it is the numbers on the site rather than anything to do with you personally.
I will think of something more helpful, let me potter off and re-think.
Sorry, I have no answers for you, but as one of the afflicted, I found your post interesting, I look forward to seeing how this turns out.
I still am not sure what you are asking, but here is my take from someone that doesn’t swing anymore.
I think like most things in life that are different from the norm there is always more of a thrill in the beginning, will me I found that the thrill to meet a new person was not as intense when I decided to quit as it was in the beginning, hence one of my reasons to stop. What I found more enjoyable was meeting the same people as with time you felt more relaxed and able to discuss trying new things on subsequent meeting with them, as I felt I tried a lot of things I came here to try and a lot of things I never thought I would try I was happy to stop swinging and meeting new men.
Do I miss it?
I miss the interaction with people the fun and laughter I had here on my quest to meet the right people, That is why I am still here, but I don’t miss the having sex with other men, I enjoyed what I done and with whom I done it with, most of which I am still friends with, I have fond memories of times shared together with them and those memories will be there forever. But I have my husband and he is the one I have always wanted so I am a happy quitter.
Maybe I was never a real swinger something I often wonder, but I do like the liberal minds of a lot of people here.
Would we resume one day?
Who's knows what the future holds and how we might feel a year from now, so I never say never.
Yeah I would definitely agree that the people here are a big draw that brings me back. It's the liberated outlook like you mentioned that makes me feel sort of that I belong here a bit, and that I'm maybe not weird just a little more adventurous than non swingers.
I talk more openly and honestly through these forums than I do to anyone I know in a non swinging way, even about things non sex related, strange that, never really thought of it that way till just now!
right, I sorta got it.
Worlass and I picked up a chap the other weekend (vanilla straight nightclub). Now, we have attempted to do this before and lucked out as the men in question perceived us to be of questionable mental health. Something to do with having spent months/years tugging away to the porn images that we physically represented and not believing that 'all my dreams have come true'. (just for info I am not likening us to porn stars- they are much slimmer and have much better nails than either of us- but I think you know what I mean)
Anyhoo... we pick up this guy and we both like him.. he does think that we are winding him up but is slightly more adventurous than the 'norm' we were very in depth about what we 'do' and he was blown away and very enthusiastic. He lived upto what we wanted and more.
My point being is that we were open about what we wanted and specific about the kind of things that we do in bed. I know that women on the pull are less explicit (generally) but am sure that we are not unique.
On here we are just the same, although we appreciate flattery like everyone else we prefer honesty about people. We like humour and we like someone who knows their limits. When men declare they can fulfil our every desire we know they are incapable just because their arrogance will trip them up before they kiss us.
Ummm gotta go out now.. but I hope that is enough to be going on with ??? Am I helping at all ?
oh, and I just looked at your profile and you haven't got any piccies of yourself srne. So were you to contact me, for example, I would look at your profile and instantly think that you weren't all that you said you were. ( I am weary of 'couples' profiles where only the woman is displayed as if she is the main event)
I know that women on here will be as weary of that as I am .. so perhaps that is a little pointer.
Ummm following on from the 'frisson' thing that Nola referred to. I suppose what I get from swinging is that I don't really get the whole 'date' thing that happens in vanillaville. It has never been my thing and never will. In fact I only started having dates with worlass when we were in a relationship and that was many months after we had started having sex. The 'thing' that swinging gives me is the common understanding that what we want from each other is sex and that it IS the most important thing.... I don't worry that he/she/they may think bad of me for wanting to miss out the dinner and date stuff. I can be honest and say that I will know in 30secs that I either want to fuck them or not and it will be a bonus if they are just as honest. (and no hard feelings if we are not attracted to each other)
Oh, I do love a thread that makes me think.. and all my cogs are turning. I apologise for waffling tho'
This may be wrong and a bit emotive (so I'm claiming a bit of devil's advocate here) but do you think the buzz from swinging comes solely from the involvement of a couple?
For example it is only the offer of a wife, husband or partner that gives it the buzz. It is the tension created within the relationship, which is allowed through tolerance and understanding that makes it special.
I'm sure some would argue that that is the definition of swinging and that anything else is just sex.
Not sure I've got me thinking straight on this.
If it is true - and this is where it might get really emotive - it might explain some of the comments above about singles within the swinging scene because they don't actually 'contribute' their quota of tension. They receive the benefits of experiencing the tension they might create in a couple but they don't have their own tension to put in the pot so to speak.
It might explain why there are so many singles available and why couples might appear to be very choosy.
Just a theory.
.
welcome to the other side of the fence...
I'm learning...I was under the misapprehension that vanilla was a term mostly used in the bdsm scene to define what is not part of the bdsm scene.
I guess there are more uses for the term..:P
now an introductory note I've written after the rest of this post:
what follows is not a rant and is not intended as a moan, criticism towards anyone or anything like that. it's just a series of observations derived from a couple of months of perusing the various areas of this website.
I was under the impression that this was a place where yes, the main "thing" is couples meeting couples or singles (or more :P).. but that there was also room for play for single guys and girls between each other...
going by the various posts in this very forum, I'm comming to the conclusion that probably this is not the case...and that the massive quantity of single guys is not the main reason for so many of them/us not getting a "date/meet"... but rather a commercial comodity for the owners of the site
I'm starting to think that the "core" of this website's users are couples and that they are ...how to put it without offending anyone?... looking down on single guys as being somewhat of intruders in their "playground"...
I know this can't be entirely true, because apparently there is plenty of request for men when it comes to gangbangs or dogging etc etc..
but still..I can't really shake that impression.
it's odd though..I've been (and still am) on 3 other websites of similar nature..and this is the first time I get this "elitist" impression.
that said, it is of course quite natural that many single guys don't get to meet anyone, no matter how hard they might try...lol.. given the odds...
I also reckon that for a single guy to meet a single girl just doesn't qualify for swinging... (then again, I'm personally looking for that, but not just for that..so...)
don't get me wrong...I am quite patient and am seeing someone on an nsa basys, so it's not like I'm here ranting for the lack of sex..
but I'm starting to think this website is just the wrong place to be looking (comparing it to other similar websites), what with being primarilly focussed on couples and "proper swinging"..(still trying to define what that is :P)
right..I have the feeling I'm loosing the plot about what I was trying to say..if I ever had a plot..so I might as well stop it before I start to make no sense at all..lol
melting pot, I think that you are taking a tiny portion of users to be representative of the whole and you are mistaken.
Swinging is whatever a person who swings defines it as. If you think that it includes you then it will, if you don't it won't.
I am just as much a swinger when I meet single men on my own (which is the majority of the time) as when I (rarely) meet single men with worlass and (rarer still) couples with worlass.
fookin bollox
i just type a long reply and its fookin gone before i posted
Grrrrrrrrrrr
i may come back later too annoyed at mo
Have some self-pride man! 
