Guys,
Found a website today which baffled me.....
Quoted from the home page....
..... is a dating website where you can find swingers and an extramarital affair. 1000's of wives and husbands are online now looking for an affair and swinging partners. If you are married but looking for an extra-marital affair you can find one here. simply post your married profile and wait for the responses. 1000's of married personals ads. are you a philanderer? are you a swinger? are you a cheater? enter the chat room to talk with wives and husbands looking for affairs and swinging couples. maybe you have you a loving marriage but just want to add some spice?
NEW! Alibi Service NEW!
Wouldn't it be great if you could have an alibi, to cover up your infidelities whenever you needed one? This service is aimed primarily at cheating spouses who need an excuse to get away from home for a day or two, or explain away a lost night after an unplanned indiscretion. For details of this service, please send an email with your requirements to
We are going to need dozens of freelancers - doctors, journalists and actors etc. To make this service work, we will need authoritative comunity figures to come forward to sign up their services when they are required. All freelancers will be hansomely paid for their services. To register, please send an email with your details to
My first thought was it was a wind up - further looking revealed it was not!
Questions......
Is it just my personal feelings and morals that makes me think that swinging and cheating should not be discussed in the same sentence - because for me they are a quantum leap apart in terms of what they represent?
Am I just taking the moral high ground on this?
Would any serious professional sign up to provide such a service for a fee and place their professional position in some jeopardy?
Would love to hear what others think about it....
Fred
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Swinging and philandering in the same boat?
Its simply should not be discussed together. The term swinging and cheating they are definately far away from each other (well in my opinion). Now some people certainly do make the mistake of thinking they both are the same. Oh well, I suppose at the end of the day it depends on Who is judging this and what mentality they have.
Sexpert
For me it basically comes down to this difference...
An affair is underhand and without knowledge and pemission/consent of your partner.
Swinging is damn good fun and not hidden from the one you love, and hopefully with them joining in the fun, or at least giving full support and permission.
Swinging shows respect for people. Some people perfect to keep it more private than others, so they dont get funny looks in the street LOL but a persons partner is always in the loop and not in the dark.
Like the "joke" in my sig. Its the old cliche where the man says that his wife either "doesnt understand him" or is fridgid or whatever, even if its blatent lies. If couples are so out of whack with each other surely its better to part and find someone you are more in tune with and allow your partner to do the same, rather than living a lie, and telling them too habitually.
I am absolutely speechless over the idea of an "alibi service" but I have been around too much and seen too much of human nature to be overly shocked and suprised that it exists.
An affair is underhand and without knowledge and pemission/consent of your partner.
Swinging is damn good fun and not hidden from the one you love, and hopefully with them joining in the fun, or at least giving full support and permission.
Swinging shows respect for people. Some people perfect to keep it more private than others, so they dont get funny looks in the street LOL but a persons partner is always in the loop and not in the dark.
Like the "joke" in my sig. Its the old cliche where the man says that his wife either "doesnt understand him" or is fridgid or whatever, even if its blatent lies. If couples are so out of whack with each other surely its better to part and find someone you are more in tune with and allow your partner to do the same, rather than living a lie, and telling them too habitually.
I am absolutely speechless over the idea of an "alibi service" but I have been around too much and seen too much of human nature to be overly shocked and suprised that it exists.
Warming the Bed
Yep we have to agree with Andy on the "Alibi" service, someone somewhere will do it just for the fun if not for the cash.
But Swinging and cheating are two entirely different terms often confused by people venturing into the scene (sad to say but its usually men, sorry guys), they see it as an easy way to get their oats with the added bonus of not being caught. Its much easier to arrange a clandestine meet on the net than going out and the lottery of chatting someone up with a chance of being seen.
Anyway I wont go on lol.
But Swinging and cheating are two entirely different terms often confused by people venturing into the scene (sad to say but its usually men, sorry guys), they see it as an easy way to get their oats with the added bonus of not being caught. Its much easier to arrange a clandestine meet on the net than going out and the lottery of chatting someone up with a chance of being seen.
Anyway I wont go on lol.
Fred,
Not at all, swinging is based on trust, honesty and integrity, how can those three principles be involved if you are cheating on someone? Swinging has no place for those seeking extra marital affairs. How can you trust someone who is cheating?
Who would wish to be responsible for the possible break up of a marriage?
What's more galling to us are the guys (sorry guys, but its always been you in our experience!) who get arsey when you decline them for that reason.
As to the professionals etc, there's bound to be some greedy person looking to make money out of it!
Stick to your moral high ground Fred, we are going to! :kiss: lol
Fran
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Am I just taking the moral high ground on this?
Not at all, swinging is based on trust, honesty and integrity, how can those three principles be involved if you are cheating on someone? Swinging has no place for those seeking extra marital affairs. How can you trust someone who is cheating?
Who would wish to be responsible for the possible break up of a marriage?
What's more galling to us are the guys (sorry guys, but its always been you in our experience!) who get arsey when you decline them for that reason.
As to the professionals etc, there's bound to be some greedy person looking to make money out of it!
Stick to your moral high ground Fred, we are going to! :kiss: lolFran
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by facialfran
swinging is based on trust, honesty and integrity, how can those three principles be involved if you are cheating on someone? Swinging has no place for those seeking extra marital affairs. How can you trust someone who is cheating?
Fran
Can I take it from the above, that people like yourself Fran, actually frown upon the couples who go out dogging, rather than making arrangements to meet with a supposedly single guy?
The very nature of dogging is seen as risqué and fun. I don’t for one minute imagine that every guy in the car park is actually single – most will be married, in a stable relationship or whatever, but out for a little fun, without the knowledge of their partner/wife etc.
Should this be frowned upon? Or do we couples now have to insist on proof of no marriage before we begin the proceedings?!
Do you think for one minute that all wives are loving, caring passionate fem fatales? They aren't. This doesn't mean their husbands would want to live without them, just that they do not satisfy their husband's sexual needs. Hence, they go dogging for sexual release. Nothing more - no long drawn out affairs which may get out of hand. Just sex between consenting adults. Is it any different than a game of darts at the local without the wife for a bit of fun?
While I don't condone affairs in principle, can dogging really be classsed as an affair in real terms? Affairs are on going 1 on 1, and can and do, harm marriages, but certainly my partner and I do not think that these guys who visit parks would wish to risk their marriage/relationship or they would go out for a full blown affair instead. That then is quite another matter and I don't see it as related to dogging.
Believe it or not, some couple can and do lead very happy lives together, but just do not 'gel' sexually. Wife has low sex drive, partner has high. They match in every other aspect of their life together but this one. Sexual release for the man is essential, both for him and the marriage in general terms.
We are all on very different levels in our morals, but does that make it wrong to dog with married men? We think not, and will continue to do so.
Jess & Dan
Kinda confused by this thread. I know I agree with Andy that swinging is a matter of respect, and to have our respect the folk we swing with must be honest. Therefore singles that are cheating have been struck off our list right from the start.
However is dogging about respect or just getting it when you need it, playing with fire a bit at the same time? I know dogging is not for us because we like to at least think we know the folk we are swinging with, although we are not naive enough to believe we always get told the truth.
I cant accept the conclusion you have come to cutechick. If the marriage was matched in every other aspect then surely the married dogger would have no problems letting the other partner know what they were up to.
I think in the end much like swinging and cheating are two entirely different pursuits, we have to accept that dogging and swinging have very little in common other than the fact that sex may be involved at some stage in both pursuits.
And the best of luck and fortune to all who are involved in either.
Billy
However is dogging about respect or just getting it when you need it, playing with fire a bit at the same time? I know dogging is not for us because we like to at least think we know the folk we are swinging with, although we are not naive enough to believe we always get told the truth.
Believe it or not, some couple can and do lead very happy lives together, but just do not 'gel' sexually. Wife has low sex drive, partner has high. They match in every other aspect of their life together but this one.
I cant accept the conclusion you have come to cutechick. If the marriage was matched in every other aspect then surely the married dogger would have no problems letting the other partner know what they were up to.
I think in the end much like swinging and cheating are two entirely different pursuits, we have to accept that dogging and swinging have very little in common other than the fact that sex may be involved at some stage in both pursuits.
And the best of luck and fortune to all who are involved in either.
Billy
Hi Jess and Dan
Here Here well put.
I am just such a dogger.
I have a loving marriage but go dogging for fun not to have a long term affair.
I am still married and have a good sex life but crave variety and a bit of fun.
I also travel the world in my job and get release this way.
I would do nothing to hurt my wife in any way as I respect and love her and my activity hurts no one.
The couples I go with are one off spontaneous meets with consenting partners I am not there to break them up or my relationship.
I always show respect and have a laugh.
Keep looking for us good guys.
Go safe and be happy.
Sandie
Here Here well put.
I am just such a dogger.
I have a loving marriage but go dogging for fun not to have a long term affair.
I am still married and have a good sex life but crave variety and a bit of fun.
I also travel the world in my job and get release this way.
I would do nothing to hurt my wife in any way as I respect and love her and my activity hurts no one.
The couples I go with are one off spontaneous meets with consenting partners I am not there to break them up or my relationship.
I always show respect and have a laugh.
Keep looking for us good guys.
Go safe and be happy.
Sandie
Quote by Cutechick
Can I take it from the above, that people like yourself Fran, actually frown upon the couples who go out dogging, rather than making arrangements to meet with a supposedly single guy?
I don't think the subject of dogging was ever mentioned......
I accept that they are 2 completely different activities that attract 2 different sets of people and some people are attracted to both activities. Personally we have no attraction to dogging for a number of reasons but it does not mean we frown on it - each to their own we say.
So I don't think this is a valid point unless the point was made to either bait the arguement or to widen the arguement - personally I do not want to see the debate widenened beyond my original question.
Quote by Cutechick
Do you think for one minute that all wives are loving, caring passionate fem fatales? They aren't. This doesn't mean their husbands would want to live without them, just that they do not satisfy their husband's sexual needs. Hence, they go dogging for sexual release. Nothing more - no long drawn out affairs which may get out of hand. Just sex between consenting adults.
Believe it or not, some couple can and do lead very happy lives together, but just do not 'gel' sexually. Wife has low sex drive, partner has high. They match in every other aspect of their life together but this one. Sexual release for the man is essential, both for him and the marriage in general terms.
Why the assumption that it is the men who have high sex drives and the women who have low ones? I cannot believe that all men who go dogging are there just because they have a high sex drive and their wife has a low one. As for Fem Fatales - I cannot believe the men are all Roger Moore lookalikes either!
Quote by Cutechick
Is it any different than a game of darts at the local without the wife for a bit of fun?
Sorry! - There is an absolute fundamental difference between the two!
Man walks out the door and says "Off for a game of darts dear!" or walks out the door and says "Off Dogging dear, back at 11 O'clock!" - The difference is the latter is rarely said and therefore he lies within the confines of his relationship. Why? - Because he knows that to tell the truth could well cause a breakdown in the relationship. A wife catching her husband playing darts very rarely ever left him because of it - unless he was playing darts with his dogging friends!
(I suppose the only similarity is that in both circumstances there are a lot of pricks around!
- JOKE!)I accept that they will always be some men who go dogging who do so with the knowledge of their partner - I am not talking about those guys - or even the singles....
Quote by Cutechick
Sexual release for the man is essential, both for him and the marriage in general terms.
Sorry? - I would expect to see this in a 19th century medical textbook but would doubt if it is a common belief now......
There are also the words "masturbation", "restraint" and "Relate" which could be thrown in here as part of the arguement but again think this would divert the thread - Why not start another thread to debate the differences between swinging and dogging?
Whilst you make some valid points cutechick I am sorry to say I disagree with them. However this is nothing personal but a Forum where we can express our views openly. Well done for getting involved and jumping in the deep end with your first post.... very brave! 8)
Welcome to the forum!
Fred
Quote by ScotsCpl
I cant accept the conclusion you have come to cutechick. If the marriage was matched in every other aspect then surely the married dogger would have no problems letting the other partner know what they were up to.
Billy
Oh, if only life were that easy. Picture the scene - act 1 scene 2 -
Married man has a chat to his wife over a cuppa. Explains that 'darling you just don't do it for me anymore'.
She happliy says 'ok then, you'd better go dogging for your fun. I hope you enjoy yourself. I'll have your tea waiting for you when you come home'
Get real! The very nature of the human being is so complex that we couldn't debate it here. Suffice to say, we ARE all different and that's what makes us unique.
So too is our sexual desire. Just because a bloke's wife doesn't enjoy sex very often, does that mean he won't love her as much? Me thinks not.
After all, love and sex are not the same thing are they. Sure one can lean to the other, but having sex is also a pastime to be enjoyed - actively and often. Do you think animals are in love when they partake? Of course not. they're just having a shag - as nature intends us all to do
If wifey like to do some knitting and hubby doesn't - does that mean she doesn't love him anymore because he doesn't enjoy her fav pastime?!
Don't be silly Billy (sorry, couldn't resist!).
Think of us doggers as providing a community service for good marriage relationships. We keep the guys happy, they keep wife happy by not pestering her into sex when she doesn't want it. :wink:
Jess
I would do nothing to hurt my wife in any way as I respect and love her and my activity hurts no one.
You don't mention Sandie whether your wife supports your extra activities. I take it from the respect and love you mention above that you have told her and that she has reassured you that most importantly of all your activity is not hurting her.
Cheating by its very nature hurts someone, whether it be sexual or otherwise.
Billy (enjoying this thread now
) Quote by FredFlintstone
There are also the words "masturbation", "restraint" and "Relate" which could be thrown in here as part of the arguement
Oh come on Fred. Is a wank really as satisfying as a shag?! And how long could you restrain yourself - days, weeks, months, years?
You are lucky in that you have a good relationship with your wife. Not every man is that lucky. They may love her to bits, but still need to have sexual release. It's as nature intended after all and not just for procreation y'know
Thanks for the welcome - if you ever change your mind and fancy a bit of dogging send me a pm
Jess
Sex God
Hmmmm, I'm coming into this debate late and you have all made valid points. Swinging originally was not about cheating. The behaviour of couples that swap with other couples is a million miles away from cheating. However, swinging and cheating ARE related in some ways. Some people who are in relationships with other people pair up (yes, as in an affair) to swing. They then advertise as a couple and meet other couples or they go to swingers clubs and play there. I don't know how common this is, but I speak to people in such arrangements sometimes in clubs, so they are out there. Whether they are honest to the couples they meet is none my business so I never ask. Many of the single guys who attend swingers clubs are in relationships and are cheating, but this type of behaviour is more akin to dogging than traditional swinging (in my view). The point is, in the main, it depends what your definition of "swinging" is, and also what your definition of a "couple" is. The issue is of course a moral one, and if you are not interested in cheaters at all then even if you are meeting couples, vet them very carefully. If you are like me, you consider other people's business their business. I just don't ask!
Quote by ScotsCpl
Cheating by its very nature hurts someone, whether it be sexual or otherwise.
Absolutely.....
One other question....
When you go dogging do you have any sexual contact at all - touching, oral, penetrative sex?
If so then you have the risk of being infected with any one of the STI's. Swinging carries the same risk - but at least the partners know about the risks and are therefore vigilant about symptoms that are associated with those STI's.
If you think it is not possible to contract STI's from oral sex or touching alone - you are wrong!
If you do not have sexual contact then you are not putting your partner at risk fron the physical sides of damage at least!
Quote by ScotsCpl
You don't mention Sandie whether your wife supports your extra activities. I take it from the respect and love you mention above that you have told her and that she has reassured you that most importantly of all your activity is not hurting her.
Cheating by its very nature hurts someone, whether it be sexual or otherwise.
Billy (enjoying this thread now
I see a rather high soapbox here with a wee scotsman on top, spouting morals to the masses.
Billy this is real life, this is England, not a Hollywood moral dilemma movie where everyone gets around the table to discuss what probs they have. People's emotions do not always go the way their partner would wish, therefore, they can't and don't discuss certain things such as dogging.
Would you therefore contend that they are wrong to live that way?
Sure a few little white lies may be told, but in the long term those lies serve to PROTECT the wife from being upset. Her husband is thinking of her too and not only of the fact that she may ask for him to seek alternative accommodation if she found out what he was up to on a Friday night in the rain.
Lighten up William, or I shall have to put you across my knee
J
Lighten up William, or I shall have to put you across my knee
Now we talking. Been on a diet since the 1st so should fit quite snuggly over your knee
People's emotions do not always go the way their partner would wish, therefore, they can't and don't discuss certain things such as dogging.
Would you therefore contend that they are wrong to live that way?
Certainly not. People are entirely free to live as they please cutechick. But to pretend as you seem to be doing that no harm will come to anyone when married (usually men?) folk lie and cheat their way through a marriage by shagging others without the support of a partner is ridiculous. Fred's already mentioned STDs.
As for the knitting analogy, what a croc! The point is the doggin married guy aint being open about his favourite past-time. He's being dishonest, disrespectful, and placing his partner at risk without her consent.
Billy (still enjoying this thread :D )
Quote by ScotsCpl
Lighten up William, or I shall have to put you across my knee
Now we talking. Been on a diet since the 1st so should fit quite snuggly over your knee
Fred's already mentioned STDs.
Billy (still enjoying this thread :D )
Billy - my knee awaits - now bend over :P You're going to get the biggest and bestest tongue lashing you EVER had boy
You will enjoy it, I insist!As for STD's, sure there is a risk, but there's also a risk in crossing the road or using public transport. Didn't your granny ever sing you the song about shoving her off a bus? My Glaswegian granny did! There is more to fear from your family than a little STD y'know
Jess (who is now late for work!)
My God Fred!!
After being reasonably quiet on the forums recently (perhaps due to recent polls) you're certainly back with a vengeance!!
Just to add my (Scottish) tuppence worth to the debate, with VERY limited experience I'd say that swinging and cheating are absolutely worlds apart. In my opinion, swinging is a recreational passtime or way of life which should involve both partners either physically or at least in knowledge. Cheating is a destructive approach to a relationship which ultimately can lead to break up and financial / emotional loss. In my opinion, cheating is also selfish and underhand.
I'd suggest that swingers have the moral high ground in this debate. From what I see, on the whole this is an activity involving both partners. Possibly a bit like a shared interest in, say swimming on a Sunday afternoon, but much more fun.
Dogging is a completely seperate issue. If anyone wants to have a wank in a car park, so be it. Maybe if I had known about dogging when I was playing with the band I'd have been an even happier guy. It's amazing how horny you get after a night on stage. I digress....
Anyway, 'nuff said....
Welcome back Fred!
8)
After being reasonably quiet on the forums recently (perhaps due to recent polls) you're certainly back with a vengeance!!
Just to add my (Scottish) tuppence worth to the debate, with VERY limited experience I'd say that swinging and cheating are absolutely worlds apart. In my opinion, swinging is a recreational passtime or way of life which should involve both partners either physically or at least in knowledge. Cheating is a destructive approach to a relationship which ultimately can lead to break up and financial / emotional loss. In my opinion, cheating is also selfish and underhand.
I'd suggest that swingers have the moral high ground in this debate. From what I see, on the whole this is an activity involving both partners. Possibly a bit like a shared interest in, say swimming on a Sunday afternoon, but much more fun.
Dogging is a completely seperate issue. If anyone wants to have a wank in a car park, so be it. Maybe if I had known about dogging when I was playing with the band I'd have been an even happier guy. It's amazing how horny you get after a night on stage. I digress....
Anyway, 'nuff said....
Welcome back Fred!
8)
You ain't gonna get me in the shit again are you Bassdude? :shock:
I seem to remember you trying to help me before mate! :twisted:
Thanks for putting the thread back on the original track.
Should we split the thread into my original one and the debate on dogging?
If so let me know and I will split it out......
Regards
Fred
I seem to remember you trying to help me before mate! :twisted:
Thanks for putting the thread back on the original track.
Should we split the thread into my original one and the debate on dogging?
If so let me know and I will split it out......
Regards
Fred
Sex God
I disagree with the saying of swinging and cheating are worlds apart. Again this may be just my opinion on the definition of a swinger.
I'm just going to take 'single' blokes in clubs as an example.
Some will be married/coupled and have the full support of the other half. They are there to have fun and 'swing' with people.
Some will be married/coupled and have told the other half about the situation, they except it but don't like it, life can move on. These people are here to have fun and 'swing' with other people.
Some will be married/coupled and are acting without consent or the other halfs knowledge. They are there to have fun and 'swing' with other people.
As you can see there are lots of different veriasions but all are there to have fun and swing. Cheating or acting without consent/knowledge can and does happen. It does not mean that the are not swingers having fun with their favourite past time.
Talking from a previous relationship before I even knew swingers exsisted
What you don't know can't hurt you. (Mentally speaking). If my partner wanted to sleep around then that would be fine with me. As long as I didn't know about it. But if they started to feel guilty, or brought a rift into the relationship we had, then that would be cheating.
I think this is why that bi Female, (ali, bi, 23, large chested....) has an advert on. To help those that don't want to hurt their partners feelings by shielding the truth from them. Lies are not always evil.
My opinion anyway
I'm just going to take 'single' blokes in clubs as an example.
Some will be married/coupled and have the full support of the other half. They are there to have fun and 'swing' with people.
Some will be married/coupled and have told the other half about the situation, they except it but don't like it, life can move on. These people are here to have fun and 'swing' with other people.
Some will be married/coupled and are acting without consent or the other halfs knowledge. They are there to have fun and 'swing' with other people.
As you can see there are lots of different veriasions but all are there to have fun and swing. Cheating or acting without consent/knowledge can and does happen. It does not mean that the are not swingers having fun with their favourite past time.
Talking from a previous relationship before I even knew swingers exsisted
What you don't know can't hurt you. (Mentally speaking). If my partner wanted to sleep around then that would be fine with me. As long as I didn't know about it. But if they started to feel guilty, or brought a rift into the relationship we had, then that would be cheating.
I think this is why that bi Female, (ali, bi, 23, large chested....) has an advert on. To help those that don't want to hurt their partners feelings by shielding the truth from them. Lies are not always evil.
My opinion anyway
Sexpert
I think that the population as a whole just needs to get real and then there would be a lot less affairs and a lot more fun.
We are told from an early age that monogamy is the order of the day and you can only be with one person, and thats how it works...
But surely if that was true then Jerry Springer (hello Fran) et al would all be out of a job.
Monogamy (only having one sexual partner) isnt a natural law, its a human "law", and as "law"s go I dont think its a very good one.
If it was the natural order of things then surely there would be no cheating and no philandering.
I think that cheating is the result of the human race trying to fit its square peg in a round hole. LMAO.
But maybe this is not exactly on topic? I'm not sure myself.
There was a recent poll that said that the number of affairs in soap operas are actually LOWER than the national average, and of course for every affair and cheat that are found out there are a few that arent, or ones that fizzle out without anyone being the wiser.
I am not pro-cheating, as I have already said, but I think that cheating shows an underlying problem in the way society is trying to push people into 1 on 1 relationships when it obviously - 1000s of years of proof here - doesnt work out so well, more often than not.
We have to face our jealousy (which is a taught reaction) and just be honest open loving people.
I never thought I would get married after seeing what a bad job of it my parents did, and having nasty nasty step dads, but now I'm very happily married to a beautiful loving lady who understands the nature of the beast, and knows that I know where I belong.
I think I need my avatar text upgrading to "boy can I type..."
Sorry I can waffle for England can't I? :D
We are told from an early age that monogamy is the order of the day and you can only be with one person, and thats how it works...
But surely if that was true then Jerry Springer (hello Fran
) et al would all be out of a job.Monogamy (only having one sexual partner) isnt a natural law, its a human "law", and as "law"s go I dont think its a very good one.
If it was the natural order of things then surely there would be no cheating and no philandering.
I think that cheating is the result of the human race trying to fit its square peg in a round hole. LMAO.
But maybe this is not exactly on topic? I'm not sure myself.
There was a recent poll that said that the number of affairs in soap operas are actually LOWER than the national average, and of course for every affair and cheat that are found out there are a few that arent, or ones that fizzle out without anyone being the wiser.
I am not pro-cheating, as I have already said, but I think that cheating shows an underlying problem in the way society is trying to push people into 1 on 1 relationships when it obviously - 1000s of years of proof here - doesnt work out so well, more often than not.
We have to face our jealousy (which is a taught reaction) and just be honest open loving people.
I never thought I would get married after seeing what a bad job of it my parents did, and having nasty nasty step dads, but now I'm very happily married to a beautiful loving lady who understands the nature of the beast, and knows that I know where I belong.
I think I need my avatar text upgrading to "boy can I type..."
Sorry I can waffle for England can't I? :D
Sex God
Quote by facialfran
Not at all, swinging is based on trust, honesty and integrity, how can those three principles be involved if you are cheating on someone? Swinging has no place for those seeking extra marital affairs. How can you trust someone who is cheating?
Fran
Coming into this thread rather late, I would have to ask Fran, are you absoultely *sure* that every man you meet is not married or in a stable relationship? Just because they tell you they are single . . .
Jon and I also go dogging, and whilst I know it rather deviates from the original thread, it is still now a matter of discussion.
Our view is this - we don't ask the guys if they are married. Quite frankly it's none of our business. If, however, they choose to tell us they are, and they quite often do, we certainly wouldn't throw them out on their ear for being out without their wife's permission!
In truth it is far easier for a single guy to pick up a girl in a bar or club for casual sex, than it ever would be for a married man to do so. Dogging then seems to give married guys a fair chance of a little fun from time to time. I certainly don't sit in judgement on them.
We know a chap (lives in our street) who has been dogging since his late 20's and he is now 58. He is still very happily married after 31 years. His wife neither knows or indulges in his 'pastime'. They have children and grandchildren. If he was to confess all to her, she would probably be devastated I admit, but as the old saying goes - what the eye doesn't see, the heart won't grieve over. Not saying it's right or wrong. It's between them and none of my interest. They are happy and together as a couple. It just happens, that he enjoys different forms of fun than his wife.
You'll be a long time dead - enjoy what you can, while you can. Having fun and enjoyment is not something we should feel bad about.
Terry-Jayne
Hi guys..wow just picked up this thread again and phew..torrento or what?
Ok, too many points to pick up, but for what its worth here's an opinion on a couple.
Redhot...actually yes i can tell you I have been certain, I have only swung with a few guys but I swung with them cos I trusted them through the relationship/info we developed. Ok I can't say that I am 100% sure that they weren't cheaters, my point, which is missed all along this thread is that I would not CHOOSE to swing with a married/attached guy where his partner wasn't fully supportive. I don't pretend that I could have been/could be duped, but I do my utmost to ensure that I don't provide any guy with our fun if I suspect at all that he is cheating.
cutechick actually scares me when she compares getting an STD with the inherent dangers of death all around us...yes we are all in the lottery of life and we may be killed tomorrow by an errant driver, but to say that catching an STD is an acceptable risk is mind boggling. She seems to like scenarios, so here's one for you...married guy goes dogging, wife thinks he is playing darts...no probs there...thread was about swings not dogs.... he catches clymidia..wife gets it too...no obvious symptoms..she wants baby..they try...can't get pregnant..have tests...clymidia...she doesn't know how she got it...the questions begin...guess the rest...or maybe you don't care?
Further to the above she says
Sorry dear but you are fundamentally wrong....where in nature do you find contraception? That's an invention of humankind to have sex for recreation. Get real as you might say..your arguments are flawed and very scary, lets hope the majority of swingers don't have your outlook, have you forgotten the dangers of Aids?
Fran & Stu
Ok, too many points to pick up, but for what its worth here's an opinion on a couple.
Redhot...actually yes i can tell you I have been certain, I have only swung with a few guys but I swung with them cos I trusted them through the relationship/info we developed. Ok I can't say that I am 100% sure that they weren't cheaters, my point, which is missed all along this thread is that I would not CHOOSE to swing with a married/attached guy where his partner wasn't fully supportive. I don't pretend that I could have been/could be duped, but I do my utmost to ensure that I don't provide any guy with our fun if I suspect at all that he is cheating.
cutechick actually scares me when she compares getting an STD with the inherent dangers of death all around us...yes we are all in the lottery of life and we may be killed tomorrow by an errant driver, but to say that catching an STD is an acceptable risk is mind boggling. She seems to like scenarios, so here's one for you...married guy goes dogging, wife thinks he is playing darts...no probs there...thread was about swings not dogs.... he catches clymidia..wife gets it too...no obvious symptoms..she wants baby..they try...can't get pregnant..have tests...clymidia...she doesn't know how she got it...the questions begin...guess the rest...or maybe you don't care?
Further to the above she says
It's as nature intended after all and not just for procreation y'know
Sorry dear but you are fundamentally wrong....where in nature do you find contraception? That's an invention of humankind to have sex for recreation. Get real as you might say..your arguments are flawed and very scary, lets hope the majority of swingers don't have your outlook, have you forgotten the dangers of Aids?
Fran & Stu
Warming the Bed
Well said Fran.
Quote by facialfran
Hi guys..wow just picked up this thread again and phew..torrento or what?
cutechick actually scares me. She seems to like scenarios, so here's one for you...married guy goes dogging, wife thinks he is playing darts...no probs there...thread was about swings not dogs.... he catches clymidia..wife gets it too...no obvious symptoms..she wants baby..they try...can't get pregnant..have tests...clymidia...she doesn't know how she got it...the questions begin...guess the rest...or maybe you don't care?
Fran & Stu
Where in any of my posts have I said we do not take precautions against STD? We take all reasonable steps to ensure that we and our dogging partners are protected.
Just as a byword and speaking as a veterinary nurse, did you know that you can catch chlamydia (correct spelling) from handling new born kittens if their mother happens to have it?
Cats are well known carriers of this disease. Handling their litter tray is also a risk if the droppings about to be removed are less than an hour 'old', since the bacteria can live for a short time outside of the body. Does your cat walk on the kitchen worktop. I hope not. She may also cover your counter in bacteria there too, just as you go to make a cup of tea - Just a thought for you to ponder whilst you take your worry pill.
We do not take risks with our health or that of our friends.
J
Sorry Cutechick, never said you did take risks personally, but you did say
Read that again and it so looks like that STI's are an acceptable risk in swinging. Well we can't agree with that. The thread is about cheating, we were talking of guys doing things behind their partner's backs. We swing, we know the risks and accept them, taking precautions to limit the chance of us or anyone we swing with to fall victim to a nasty STI. The unsuspecting wife/husband at home doesn't have that option to assess the risk to her/him and make an informed choice, the partner is putting her/him at risk without their consent.
As to the cat, in our scenario they didn't have one, so she became sterile due to her husband's philanderings...come on look at the real issues in this thread.
As to my misspelling well if that is your way of trying to score a point over me, thanks for the laugh. I have to say we come on here to discuss and debate, we don't look to denigrate anyone personally, each and all have an opinion and thank god we still have the right to voice them freely. So, I couldn't be arsed to go get the dictionary and check my spelling, you knew what I was talking about, why draw attention to it? No adult argument to contribute?
LOL, I am bored of this thread now, so won't contribute to it again, but I am sure some folk will and I just hope they don't have a typo, otherwise the thread is in danger of becoming an English lesson!
Fran & Stu
As for STD's, sure there is a risk, but there's also a risk in crossing the road or using public transport.
Read that again and it so looks like that STI's are an acceptable risk in swinging. Well we can't agree with that. The thread is about cheating, we were talking of guys doing things behind their partner's backs. We swing, we know the risks and accept them, taking precautions to limit the chance of us or anyone we swing with to fall victim to a nasty STI. The unsuspecting wife/husband at home doesn't have that option to assess the risk to her/him and make an informed choice, the partner is putting her/him at risk without their consent.
As to the cat, in our scenario they didn't have one, so she became sterile due to her husband's philanderings...come on look at the real issues in this thread.
As to my misspelling well if that is your way of trying to score a point over me, thanks for the laugh. I have to say we come on here to discuss and debate, we don't look to denigrate anyone personally, each and all have an opinion and thank god we still have the right to voice them freely. So, I couldn't be arsed to go get the dictionary and check my spelling, you knew what I was talking about, why draw attention to it? No adult argument to contribute?
LOL, I am bored of this thread now, so won't contribute to it again, but I am sure some folk will and I just hope they don't have a typo, otherwise the thread is in danger of becoming an English lesson!
Fran & Stu
