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Swinging ettiquette
Sex God
'Rules' is a bit rigid but there must be some guiding principles. I'm no expert but I would have thought that if you are a couple one principle would be 'both be sure you want to do want whatever you try'.
Sex God
Quote by deancannock
I actually didn't think there were any rules at all.....
Me neither, apart from the obvious "No means no".
What may suit one set of people, would not necessarily be the same for others.
I would assume most people have personal rules they stick to, for their own safety, but other's may not follow the same pattern.
Now guidelines are a different thing altogether . . .
T-J
Quote by westerross
'Rules' is a bit rigid but there must be some guiding principles. I'm no expert but I would have thought that if you are a couple one principle would be 'both be sure you want to do want whatever you try'.
Yeah this is true,but if your in a club situation (something weve not done yet)what about the fact there are so many other people they couples,singles etc.I hope i'm making sense :shock:
Sex God
Quote by Steve_Lincs
'Rules' is a bit rigid but there must be some guiding principles. I'm no expert but I would have thought that if you are a couple one principle would be 'both be sure you want to do want whatever you try'.
Yeah this is true,but if your in a club situation (something weve not done yet)what about the fact there are so many other people they couples,singles etc.I hope i'm making sense :shock:
Well, if a couple are at the club presumably they are both prepared for what they might see. But they don't have to do anything - same thing applies doesn't it No means No. The important thing is consensus.
Sex God
Quote by prags
Well i always consider it rude to wipe your dick on the curtains. :shock: Does that count :grin:
:shock: :shock: :shock: I think I've met you . . .
:lol: Oh sorry I thought you said a rule to wipe on the curtains
:lol: :lol: Tracy-Jayne
I think the No means No rule covers most things really. If someone prefers not to do something in particular then respect for that is essential. Other than that, good manners are a good idea. I know it sounds a bit clinical to ask before doing anything but if you want to try something a little different it is probably a good idea just to check with the other person that it's ok........
Quote by MQ
I think the No means No rule covers most things really.
That is the only rule for us. Everyone should have their own limits clearly defined in their heads and be willing to say No if those limits are being overstepped. Being able to say No and accept No is part and parcel of swinging.
Right i will try and explain why i'm asking this our last party there was a bit of trouble and i just wanted to find out from everyone out there what they thought the unwritten guidelines were that no one should step over were.
At the next party for example,we will be mainly playing together but if the situation arises we will happilly play with another problem is should someone ask before laying a hand on Clare or should they just wait for the slap or mouth full of cock fuck you following me or am i talking shite????
At the next party for example,we will be mainly playing together but if the situation arises we will happilly play with another problem is should someone ask before laying a hand on Clare or should they just wait for the slap or mouth full of cock fuck you following me or am i talking shite????
Steve ................. we had the same prob!................... but as we are in to swinging with peeps separately............. we don't have the prob! ........... but as swinging with another cpls.......we use now a code between us........thanks to a peep on here .. 
Maybe i have missed the point! :doh:
But love ya both what ever
Maybe i have missed the point! :doh:
But love ya both what ever
Quote by Steve_Lincs
Debs hun,you havent missed the point and i could definately see a code being you let me in on it
Pick a word or phrase that you wouldn't normally say and it use it if either of you want out of the situation. You can also have a word to show you are perfectly happy with how things are going.
Quote by northwest-cpl
Debs hun,you havent missed the point and i could definately see a code being you let me in on it
Pick a word or phrase that you wouldn't normally say and it use it if either of you want out of the situation. You can also have a word to show you are perfectly happy with how things are going.
Thanks for that i owe you a shag at least for that
:twisted: :shock: :grin: Quote by Steve_Lincs
Thanks for that i owe you a shag at least for that
Might take you up on that. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
A code word was the first bit of advice we got when we went to a club. We tend not to need one nowadays but it came in handy in the early days. Just saying "no thanks" in a polite way usually works now. We are never offended by being knocked back at a club and hope the same goes for anyone we've knocked back in the past.
Quote by Steve_Lincs
Right i will try and explain why i'm asking this our last party there was a bit of trouble and i just wanted to find out from everyone out there what they thought the unwritten guidelines were that no one should step over were.
At the next party for example,we will be mainly playing together but if the situation arises we will happilly play with another problem is should someone ask before laying a hand on Clare or should they just wait for the slap or mouth full of cock fuck you following me or am i talking shite????
Difficult one this and I can see exactly what you mean Steve.
I think that as long as people are aware of how you two operate it shouldn't be a problem ... soft swing full swap, same room, separate room etc I think you need to make your preferences entirely clear. Codewords are useful both for good and bad situations.
A lot will depend on you two as well ..... how far are you prepared to let each other go? how much flirting is acceptable, how much drink, where is the line drawn in terms of where to stop etc. if you both have clear ideas and boundaries then the other can't get into trouble IYSWIM .... and other people do tend to respect that.
Your reaction to a "transgression" makes a difference too ... if for some reason the other peroson has overstepped the mark then bad behaviour (ie the cock fuck off approach) in retaliation is not generally acceptable removing your partner from the situation and explaining to the other person is probably a better idea for both of you and the general atmosphere.
Just my thoughts (and it's the first I know of any trouble at the last party .. I though everyone was excellent - can't wait for the next one)
we use a code too, in fact we have two one for the go ahead and one that we use if i feel uncoftable or in any danger just in case someone dont no for a anserw luckily in the the 18 month of swinging we have never had to use the second one but i feel safer knowin that i is there if i ever need it.
Quote by Debbiewebs
Debs hun,you havent missed the point and i could definately see a code being you let me in on it
Ok its all in the body language!
sorry i can not tell you what we use!.........its up to you both to sort out a body code
OMG a body code,could be very its one grunt for yes and two for no then
Quote by Steve_Lincs
Right i will try and explain why i'm asking this our last party there was a bit of trouble and i just wanted to find out from everyone out there what they thought the unwritten guidelines were that no one should step over were.
At the next party for example,we will be mainly playing together but if the situation arises we will happilly play with another problem is should someone ask before laying a hand on Clare or should they just wait for the slap or mouth full of cock fuck you following me or am i talking shite????
hi yer steve mr pinkbubble here, too me steve the unwritten guidelines are that you ask before you touch anyway, this was nobody will be affended in the long run, also it saves getting a slap!!
Quote by Steve_Lincs
Debs hun,you havent missed the point and i could definately see a code being you let me in on it
Ok its all in the body language!
sorry i can not tell you what we use!.........its up to you both to sort out a body code
OMG a body code,could be very its one grunt for yes and two for no then
Well i have never hid that i am a pig
:lol: :wink: Quote by pinkbubble(mr&mrs)
Right i will try and explain why i'm asking this our last party there was a bit of trouble and i just wanted to find out from everyone out there what they thought the unwritten guidelines were that no one should step over were.
At the next party for example,we will be mainly playing together but if the situation arises we will happilly play with another problem is should someone ask before laying a hand on Clare or should they just wait for the slap or mouth full of cock fuck you following me or am i talking shite????
hi yer steve mr pinkbubble here, too me steve the unwritten guidelines are that you ask before you touch anyway, this was nobody will be affended in the long run, also it saves getting a slap!!
I'm going to be the Devil's advocate there ..... if you're going to offended by someone touching your wife ... why go to a sex party????? and why resort to violent behaviour (either physically or verbally).
Surely if someone makes an advance that isn't totally welcome the female can explain politely and say no? If the other person doesn't take no for an answer then that is the time for the partner to take the lead but purely to diffuse the situation.
Calista hun,i get what your saying but there are people out there that get kicks from trying these things when they know that its not on.
I think were gonna go with the code and also thanks to a pm i recieved talk it through at the start of the evening and stick to what we way neither of us can get upset or do anything wrong.
I think were gonna go with the code and also thanks to a pm i recieved talk it through at the start of the evening and stick to what we way neither of us can get upset or do anything wrong.
