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Taking Compliments
Sex God
Quote by essex34m
but i was told a while back that i should bear in mind that if someone is giving me a compliment, its because they have seen something that they feel the need to comment on, and if they can take the time and effort to say something, then show them the courtesy and respect to say thank you, even if you dont agree with the compliment
Totally agree Essex, I was told this once too and subsequently appreciate that it may be hard for someone to deliver a compliment, therefore a polite reply is important.
I love to genuinely compliment people when i feel compelled to, be it about physical attributes or personality styles. I use them appropriately and sparingly so they are perceived as genuine. I have to say I get miffed if people cannot accept it politely, giving out a compliment is giving a a part of your feelings and I like to hear a positive response.
Example:
"You look wonderful in that dress"
Bad reply (deflecting) "What this old thing, had it for ages"
Good reply "Thank you, it's one of my favourites" and SMILE
Be honest. Which one do you reply with with?
I have a certain part of me I am not too thrilled with but have received lots of compliments on since started swinging so now I believe that it's not so bad after all. Dark, a shining example of the self fulfilling prophecy working in a positive way.
Also agreeing with Winey (yet again) that the ability to receive compliments comes with self confidence which I have a fair amount of (pink tries hard not to sound cocky), always have had and has only been enhanced since swinging.
So there you have it. Think about it next time. If someone compliments you think about how THEY feel delivering that compliment and believe that THEY think YOU are worthy if it.
pink x
Sex God
I usually blush if I get a compliment.A response i can't control.
There was a time that I believed people only said nice things to me to try and make me feel better about myself,and not because it was really true.
I do feel more positive about myself now so can accept a compliment far easier than I would have done.
I suppose I'm alright really.
Still blush though
There was a time that I believed people only said nice things to me to try and make me feel better about myself,and not because it was really true.
I do feel more positive about myself now so can accept a compliment far easier than I would have done.
I suppose I'm alright really.
Still blush though
Casanova
I am not good at accepting compliments and the same goes for accepting presents too It got to a point where i realy hated recieving either from anyone who wasnt family. I am now much better and do try hard to be polite and positive when recieving them,and after reading this thread i will be trying harder still 
I had never thought of it from the givers point of veiw before and have found this thread realy intresting.
I think my reasons for why i didnt like to recieve was to do with learned behaviour thinking that the giver would want something from me in return, or they were just taking the piss :shock: So i guess self worth or estem also play a part. My other kinda linked problem is i like to be/feel equal so recieving a present or a compliment makes me feel off balance
Luckily im now in recovery and think i have a better understanding and can accept both with the well meaning intentions they were givern 
But still have a shitomotive-meter to weed out the compliments that are givern from some people to every female within a 150mile's ect :smoke:
Nicky
It got to a point where i realy hated recieving either from anyone who wasnt family. I am now much better and do try hard to be polite and positive when recieving them,and after reading this thread i will be trying harder still I had never thought of it from the givers point of veiw before and have found this thread realy intresting.I think my reasons for why i didnt like to recieve was to do with learned behaviour thinking that the giver would want something from me in return, or they were just taking the piss :shock: So i guess self worth or estem also play a part. My other kinda linked problem is i like to be/feel equal so recieving a present or a compliment makes me feel off balance
Luckily im now in recovery and think i have a better understanding and can accept both with the well meaning intentions they were givern But still have a shitomotive-meter to weed out the compliments that are givern from some people to every female within a 150mile's ect :smoke:
Nicky
I get sevevral compliments with my work as it genuinely makes people happy. But I often know the compliment will come because they are so pleased. So I am prepared for certain types of compliments.
I suppose the most extreme form of embarrassment must be the Oscar acceptance speech. Which is more or less an exaggerated way to accept a compliment. And its the only place where that kind of thing goes on.
But I think the world would be better in accepting compliments with some grace and style. It would certainly make the complimenters more eager to do it again.
I suppose the most extreme form of embarrassment must be the Oscar acceptance speech. Which is more or less an exaggerated way to accept a compliment. And its the only place where that kind of thing goes on.
But I think the world would be better in accepting compliments with some grace and style. It would certainly make the complimenters more eager to do it again.
I have real trouble accepting compliments. I have low self esteem and low body image. So that is probably why.
I've always had trouble giving compliments too. But since I became part of the management team in my job I've realised how important it is to give them. Even if its just a quick 'well done. Thanks you've been a massive help today.'
And swinging has helped me take compliments a little easier. Although I still have a tendancy to laugh at someone who may give me one. Although after reading this I will try to stop that.
But the one that always bothers me, is when I'm talking about my weight. I'm fat, actually clinically obese according to the doctor. I appreciate I probably dont look it dressed. But when people say, 'don't be silly, your not fat.' Its bloody obvious I am!!!! No matter how many and who says it. I am fat. I just wish people could be honest. 'Yeah your a bit fat, but you have lovely eyes/hair/ delete as appropriate!!!
Sorry mini rant over!!!
I've always had trouble giving compliments too. But since I became part of the management team in my job I've realised how important it is to give them. Even if its just a quick 'well done. Thanks you've been a massive help today.'
And swinging has helped me take compliments a little easier. Although I still have a tendancy to laugh at someone who may give me one. Although after reading this I will try to stop that.
But the one that always bothers me, is when I'm talking about my weight. I'm fat, actually clinically obese according to the doctor. I appreciate I probably dont look it dressed. But when people say, 'don't be silly, your not fat.' Its bloody obvious I am!!!! No matter how many and who says it. I am fat. I just wish people could be honest. 'Yeah your a bit fat, but you have lovely eyes/hair/ delete as appropriate!!!
Sorry mini rant over!!!
Sex God
Quote by redangel
Although I still have a tendancy to laugh at someone who may give me one. Although after reading this I will try to stop that.
The small childish part of my being that wished to quote this out of context simply could not be controled :lol2: I am 10.
Quote by redangel
But the one that always bothers me, is when I'm talking about my weight. I'm fat, actually clinically obese according to the doctor. I appreciate I probably dont look it dressed. But when people say, 'don't be silly, your not fat.' Its bloody obvious I am!!!! No matter how many and who says it. I am fat. I just wish people could be honest. 'Yeah your a bit fat, but you have lovely eyes/hair/ delete as appropriate!!!
Sorry mini rant over!!!
Join the club
I was once 8 and half to 9 stone and am now well a lot more than that :) I am according to height weight conversion about 2 lbs into obesity. Even so everyone tells me I look so much better than when I was thin, and I was thin bones out veins etc etc. I am never sure if I believe them 100% but maybe its possible that some of us just look a bit better with some weight on. Most men wouldn't know one if it jumped up and bit them on the arse unless it was given by a woman undressing in front of them 
I don't think men really worry about them - except when you get over 40 and then one every five years or so goes down quite well and fluffs up the feathers! The only problem is we then interpret them by thinking "she wants to go to bed with me" and spoil it by pinching her arse! 
ops:
As someone once said "women will never be the equal of men until they can walk down the street with a bald head with a hanky on and a beer belly and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex"
Me - I take them with a little grace and thank the person who just made me forget my worries for 5 minutes.....
I don't think men really worry about them - except when you get over 40 and then one every five years or so goes down quite well and fluffs up the feathers! The only problem is we then interpret them by thinking "she wants to go to bed with me" and spoil it by pinching her arse!
ops: As someone once said "women will never be the equal of men until they can walk down the street with a bald head with a hanky on and a beer belly and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex"
Me - I take them with a little grace and thank the person who just made me forget my worries for 5 minutes.....
Quote by LondonPlaything
I have a habit of fending off compliments (should I recieve any, or recognise them in the first instance)... and inadvertantly insult the person making the compliment in the process.... the bastards!
lp
Did I mention you have gorgeous eyes!!.....oh yes I did, didn't I!!
Sex God
Quote by FredFlintstone
Most men wouldn't know one if it jumped up and bit them on the arse unless it was given by a woman undressing in front of them
I don't think men really worry about them - except when you get over 40 and then one every five years or so goes down quite well and fluffs up the feathers! The only problem is we then interpret them by thinking "she wants to go to bed with me" and spoil it by pinching her arse!
As someone once said "women will never be the equal of men until they can walk down the street with a bald head with a hanky on and a beer belly and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex"
Me - I take them with a little grace and thank the person who just made me forget my worries for 5 minutes.....
Fred mate. Good to see you again. It's either the light, my tired eyes or are you looking a little less pink and chubby than usual?
Quote by markzit is suuuch a bore, isn't it Happy's?
I'm crap at taking compliments, but only because it has become so tedious
:D :D lp
Do what i do, grin and bear it :lol:
the grinning is due to your compitence
I'm a martyr, really i am
I thought you had to be dead to be a martyr :D
i thought he was and someone just dug him up?
Quote by Dlep
I used to be terrible at taking compliments to the point that it used to really unnerve me. Even now I tend to say something self depreciating in return. However, it wasn't until a member in the community when we talked about this subject said that not accepting a compliment could be taken by the giver as an insult - that what they said was false, that I realised that I needed to start accepting them.
I'm better at it now.....always room for improvement though
.. and you pulled me up about it tonight!
I never used to take compliments well but i have learnt to say thankyou and leave it at that.
Compliments in the chatroom are a bit iffy. hit n miss, I suppose. On the one hand it's nice that someone has made the effort to tell you that you look nice on cam, yet on the other hand you know for a fact they've just said the exact same thing to a dozen other women so it's hardly meaningful is it?
Personal compliments make me embarrassed but i do try hard to say thankyou and then change the subject. If someone keeps complimenting me, it kind of annoys me actually. It starts off embarrassing and then I get a bit peed off - "ok, ok, you fancy me, great, shut up now".
sorry, am just being honest.
Quote by Marya_Northeast
I used to be terrible at taking compliments to the point that it used to really unnerve me. Even now I tend to say something self depreciating in return. However, it wasn't until a member in the community when we talked about this subject said that not accepting a compliment could be taken by the giver as an insult - that what they said was false, that I realised that I needed to start accepting them.
I'm better at it now.....always room for improvement though
.. and you pulled me up about it tonight!
I never used to take compliments well but i have learnt to say thankyou and leave it at that.
Compliments in the chatroom are a bit iffy. hit n miss, I suppose. On the one hand it's nice that someone has made the effort to tell you that you look nice on cam, yet on the other hand you know for a fact they've just said the exact same thing to a dozen other women so it's hardly meaningful is it?
Personal compliments make me embarrassed but i do try hard to say thankyou and then change the subject. If someone keeps complimenting me, it kind of annoys me actually. It starts off embarrassing and then I get a bit peed off - "ok, ok, you fancy me, great, shut up now".
sorry, am just being honest.
And you wouldn't be you if you wasn't....
I think compliments are nice ... both ways.
When people say nice things about me it makes me smile and feel good, and I say 'thank you' ... and then, later, I'll sometimes wonder if they were kidding!
I like complimenting people too ... lovely eyes, lovely smile, lovely cooking, lovely flowers ... whatever. I used to be far too shy to do this, but now I really enjoy it. Only yesterday I saw a girl in town wearing a bright red hat and as she walked past me, I heard myself say, 'I just love your hat' ... she smiled, and thanked me, and walked on!
When people say nice things about me it makes me smile and feel good, and I say 'thank you' ... and then, later, I'll sometimes wonder if they were kidding!
I like complimenting people too ... lovely eyes, lovely smile, lovely cooking, lovely flowers ... whatever. I used to be far too shy to do this, but now I really enjoy it. Only yesterday I saw a girl in town wearing a bright red hat and as she walked past me, I heard myself say, 'I just love your hat' ... she smiled, and thanked me, and walked on!
Quote by mattmoleman
Fred mate. Good to see you again. It's either the light, my tired eyes or are you looking a little less pink and chubby than usual?
Nah mate - must ber yer glasses! Pink, chubby and going grey you cheeky git!
Good to see you my old friend - still got the thick glasses I see!
:) Quote by Amber
I have a habit of fending off compliments (should I recieve any, or recognise them in the first instance)... and inadvertantly insult the person making the compliment in the process.... the bastards!
lp
Did I mention you have gorgeous eyes!!.....oh yes I did, didn't I!!
Bastard!
lp
Quote by LondonPlaything
I have a habit of fending off compliments (should I recieve any, or recognise them in the first instance)... and inadvertantly insult the person making the compliment in the process.... the bastards!
lp
Did I mention you have gorgeous eyes!!.....oh yes I did, didn't I!!
Bastard!
lp
........... you're welcome!!
Sex God
Quote by Amber
I have a habit of fending off compliments (should I recieve any, or recognise them in the first instance)... and inadvertantly insult the person making the compliment in the process.... the bastards!
lp
Did I mention you have gorgeous eyes!!.....oh yes I did, didn't I!!
Bastard!
lp
........... you're welcome!!
ooo the avatar is back :P
Sex God
Quote by redangel
But the one that always bothers me, is when I'm talking about my weight. I'm fat, actually clinically obese according to the doctor. I appreciate I probably dont look it dressed. But when people say, 'don't be silly, your not fat.' Its bloody obvious I am!!!! No matter how many and who says it. I am fat. I just wish people could be honest. 'Yeah your a bit fat, but you have lovely eyes/hair/ delete as appropriate!!!
Same here.
And I'm crap at taking compliments
