Talking dirty !

28 Oct 2005

You may find this a bit strange coming from a 38 y/o but i really dont know what to say !
After a pretty much loveless last 10 years of marriage, i have had 2 years back with all the fish in the sea.
I met a woman last night, who after unsuccesfully trying to get me drunk, took me home for a good seeing too - very nice it was too.
Though she insisted that i talk dirty to her - and i didn't have a bloody clue what to say redface

Any advice off some experienced elders on here would be much appreciated wink

as i'm seeing her again on saturday and i thought if i can give her what she wants that would be very nice, as she gave me everything i wanted kiss

:violin: :cheers: blast

:swingingchair: :giveup:

28 Oct 2005

You could ask her beforehand what sort of things she wants you to say.
I usually find girls who like dirty talk like to be called a filthy little slut and stuff like that. You can also describe some fantasies that involve you subjecting her to group sex humiliation and such like, tell her you are going to blindfold her and tie her up and go to the pub and bring a couple of friends back to find her all trussed up on the bed.
Basically, feel your way, linguistically, around what she's looking for.
I could come over and show you if you like!!! :twisted:

28 Oct 2005

I think the easiest way if you are out of practice is to take control physically and tell her excatly what you are doing and why..and asking her lots of questions as you do, thereby getting her to interact with you leading the conversation...

28 Oct 2005

Quote by 34fun
You may find this a bit strange coming from a 38 y/o but i really dont know what to say !
After a pretty much loveless last 10 years of marriage, i have had 2 years back with all the fish in the sea.
I met a woman last night, who after unsuccesfully trying to get me drunk, took me home for a good seeing too - very nice it was too.
Though she insisted that i talk dirty to her - and i didn't have a bloody clue what to say
Any advice off some experienced elders on here would be much appreciated
as i'm seeing her again on saturday and i thought if i can give her what she wants that would be very nice, as she gave me everything i wanted :violin: :cheers: :swingingchair: :giveup:

She tried to get you drunk - wots her address :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:

28 Oct 2005

Quote by Phire
You could ask her beforehand what sort of things she wants you to say.
I usually find girls who like dirty talk like to be called a filthy little slut and stuff like that. You can also describe some fantasies that involve you subjecting her to group sex humiliation and such like, tell her you are going to blindfold her and tie her up and go to the pub and bring a couple of friends back to find her all trussed up on the bed.
Basically, feel your way, linguistically, around what she's looking for.
I could come over and show you if you like!!! :twisted:

Pick me up on the way down, you do the talking and I'll do the drinking.

28 Oct 2005

Quote by Baggy Boy
You could ask her beforehand what sort of things she wants you to say.
I usually find girls who like dirty talk like to be called a filthy little slut and stuff like that. You can also describe some fantasies that involve you subjecting her to group sex humiliation and such like, tell her you are going to blindfold her and tie her up and go to the pub and bring a couple of friends back to find her all trussed up on the bed.
Basically, feel your way, linguistically, around what she's looking for.
I could come over and show you if you like!!! :twisted:

Pick me up on the way down, you do the talking and I'll do the drinking.
Leaving 34fun to do all the shagging?????

28 Oct 2005

Quote by Phire
You could ask her beforehand what sort of things she wants you to say.
I usually find girls who like dirty talk like to be called a filthy little slut and stuff like that. You can also describe some fantasies that involve you subjecting her to group sex humiliation and such like, tell her you are going to blindfold her and tie her up and go to the pub and bring a couple of friends back to find her all trussed up on the bed.
Basically, feel your way, linguistically, around what she's looking for.
I could come over and show you if you like!!! :twisted:

Pick me up on the way down, you do the talking and I'll do the drinking.
Leaving 34fun to do all the shagging?????
You and I could take a vote on it - I vote NO, If we are doing the hard work then why should he have the pleasure. Mind you, if I'm drunk the pleasure will be all yours.

28 Oct 2005

come on people i really need some advice here.
no problem in the nitty gritty department, and no i'm not sharing - yet or unless she has an equally attractive freind lol

i just think calling her a slut and such is offensive, perhaps i'm too nice biggrin

28 Oct 2005

Quote by 34fun
Though she insisted that i talk dirty to her - and i didn't have a bloody clue what to say

Yeah, I'm a bit rubbish that that kind of thing too rolleyes

. One way to do it is in the form of role play - think of a scenario and run with it, see where it leads :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Can I just ask, though totally unrelated to the topic -- is that a baby rat you are holding in your avatar?

28 Oct 2005

Personally me and the missus are not very good at the talking dirty bit......we just can't keep a straight face and crack up laughing!

28 Oct 2005

crikey ! too complicated for me, i can do the small talk no problem but as for saying i'm going to give you a good hard f***ing redface

as i lay off the booze so to speak when i'm on a date, drink in moderation does not impact on performance. but a night out with the lads on stella and cider, then i dont look twice at women.
and yes that is my new pet samson - very well endowed isn't he... must be the welsh water rolleyes

28 Oct 2005

Quote by 34fun
come on people i really need some advice here.
no problem in the nitty gritty department, and no i'm not sharing - yet or unless she has an equally attractive freind
i just think calling her a slut and such is offensive, perhaps i'm too nice

Calling her a slut etc, dosnt have to be offensive, just talk it over with her first and tell her your going to do it. Afterwards you mioght want to tell her you didnt really mean it and of course you dont think that, but at the time it can be a terrific turn on. The trick is not taking that attitude towards her outside of sex
I also like the idea about telling her what your doing . :D
Maybe you could also articulate what you would like to do with her in the future?

28 Oct 2005

Quote by 34fun
You may find this a bit strange coming from a 38 y/o but i really dont know what to say !
Though she insisted that i talk dirty to her - and i didn't have a bloody clue what to say

I'm glad you posted this.
I'm 45 and still struggle with this one surprised

ops:
Although - when it works - it reallyworks :twisted: :twisted:

28 Oct 2005

Quote by TallSexyLondon
I think the easiest way if you are out of practice is to take control physically and tell her excatly what you are doing and why..and asking her lots of questions as you do, thereby getting her to interact with you leading the conversation...

:worship: Amen to that !! biggrin

the asking questions as you do it bit is good - giving her some 'controlled' interaction ensures you're not barking up the wrong tree with all the 'you're a dirty slut arnt you' talk
standing behind her and 'growling' the 'this is what i'm gonna do to you and why' thing into her ear might work especially well wink

28 Oct 2005

OK here we go
ooo baby there is so much i want to do to you......oooo how much i want to see ya pussy mmmm show it me ............. god your so horny ..........and now i am going to make you wet yes thats it good girl ................ open wider oooooooooo my god............you have such a tight pussy ....... just lay there baby .....i am going to feel you so good.. ect ect..........
ooo and whilst your saying all this mean it........... and grab hold of her hair pulling her head back and ............. passionately snog her!
oo well it works for me!................... with the women i play with ...but thats the way i am and i tell the truth i wouldn't play with them if i don't get turned on by it or them
OK got the jist! dunno

28 Oct 2005

do not ask Qs............... bloody right turn off that!..in the middle of things
just get on with it and stop messing

28 Oct 2005

I love verbal interaction during sex, it gives you a whole new level of "connection".
This can apply to the romantic setting as well as the down right dirty scene.
As has been suggested, the easiest way to deal with this is to ask. I don't think men realise sometimes that they gain brownie points by doing just that, it shows you are listening and that you care enough to make an effort. We don't expect you to just know it all, how could you, we are all so individual !!!
Between now and when you next meet how about abit of text flirting, testing the boundries, sussing out whether she is into role play etc. Not only will it give you a couple of clues, it will also build the sexual tension.
I'm so jealous, I love this stage of a new friendship!!!
Good luck x

28 Oct 2005

Quote by PrincessSwallows
Try thinking about situations you might like to get into with her or explain what you are doing to her but in a dirter way than "my penis is now entering your vagin, this is called sexual intercourse" That might kill the moment??

such as... Imagine its a hot summer day, 80 degrees in the shade.... the koi carp are gasping for oxgen on the surface of the ornamental pond its that hot. You are wearing a skimpy cheese cloth top with no bra.... suddenly you hear a noise at end of the garden, you feel nervous, yet curious, is it the swarthy latino type from the kebab shop, or the kirby vacuum cleaner rep? you bite your trembling lower lip..... slowly you go down the garden.... a blackbird is startled from under the gooseberry bush, where it was nicking your goose berries, as it flies away in fear, its wee small heart beating like a steam hammer piston, it defecates on your washing line, a long green slimey streak.... 'Damn' you mutter under your breath. yet you feel aroused...... your nipples burn aginst the cheese cloth....
as you reach the corner you spot your wheelie bin tipped over carelessly and you realise its thursday and the local councils highly trained cleansing operatives have paid you a visit. blackbirds, binmen.. can this day get any better, will daniel o donnel ravish you over the kitchen table whilst eating Nestle golden Grahams and scarcely missing a stroke?
( your quivering body at this point 'in the procedings' would be wracked in almost orgasmic contortions)
we could carry on as we roam the realm of how you would get your B+Q pressure washer out and comence to clean the foul smelling wheelie bin of its cat litter lining, the stench of ammonia wreaking havock with your 'Espirite de Cocoa' expensive french perfume, the fumes making your eyes water... your masacara running..... the thin fabric of your top becoming transparent.....
or we could have a quicky.

28 Oct 2005

I don't know if I could talk dirty to a woman, I'm too clean minded for that.
There was a satiristic play on More recently - about Blunkett's affair. As he was getting strumped in bed, the woman (can't remember her character's name) said "Talk Dirty To Me!".
He said "Erm ........ knickers ......... bum ........"

28 Oct 2005

Quote by dali lama

Try thinking about situations you might like to get into with her or explain what you are doing to her but in a dirter way than "my penis is now entering your vagin, this is called sexual intercourse" That might kill the moment??

such as... Imagine its a hot summer day, 80 degrees in the shade.... the koi carp are gasping for oxgen on the surface of the ornamental pond its that hot. You are wearing a skimpy cheese cloth top with no bra.... suddenly you hear a noise at end of the garden, you feel nervous, yet curious, is it the swarthy latino type from the kebab shop, or the kirby vacuum cleaner rep? you bite your trembling lower lip..... slowly you go down the garden.... a blackbird is startled from under the gooseberry bush, where it was nicking your goose berries, as it flies away in fear, its wee small heart beating like a steam hammer piston, it defecates on your washing line, a long green slimey streak.... 'Damn' you mutter under your breath. yet you feel aroused...... your nipples burn aginst the cheese cloth....
as you reach the corner you spot your wheelie bin tipped over carelessly and you realise its thursday and the local councils highly trained cleansing operatives have paid you a visit. blackbirds, binmen.. can this day get any better, will daniel o donnel ravish you over the kitchen table whilst eating Nestle golden Grahams and scarcely missing a stroke?
( your quivering body at this point 'in the procedings' would be wracked in almost orgasmic contortions)
we could carry on as we roam the realm of how you would get your B+Q pressure washer out and comence to clean the foul smelling wheelie bin of its cat litter lining, the stench of ammonia wreaking havock with your 'Espirite de Cocoa' expensive french perfume, the fumes making your eyes water... your masacara running..... the thin fabric of your top becoming transparent.....
or we could have a quicky.
i think you have either been on the mushrooms or some herbal relief !!!

28 Oct 2005

If you really find dirty talk difficult, start with dirty texts and work your way up to it. Once you're used to texting dirty things saying them becomes much easier....I did it that way and I'm now very eloquent in it when I choose to be! lol

28 Oct 2005

Quote by Serendipity
If you really find dirty talk difficult, start with dirty texts and work your way up to it. Once you're used to texting dirty things saying them becomes much easier....I did it that way and I'm now very eloquent in it when I choose to be!

Send me a dirty pm so that I can check it out, just for scientific research you understand. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

29 Oct 2005

bit silly sending dirty texts when she is in bed next to me !! lol

29 Oct 2005

Quote by 34fun
bit silly sending dirty texts when she is in bed next to me !!

Tsk ! ! ! !
Where's yer romance, Man !

29 Oct 2005

Quote by 34fun
bit silly sending dirty texts when she is in bed next to me !!

Well if you can't be bothered to do it before she gets there, write rude words on pieces of card and hold them up front of her face while you're having sex! :grin:

31 Oct 2005

I would love some dirty talk, but Dino says he is crap and he feels like a silly git.
But i have really felt the need and want for filthy chat, it can become a very intense sexual moment. I enjoy being teased alongside dirty talk, the feeling is hard to discribe. But it is so mind blowing which drives me more and more wild.
Is there any men who are good at and enjoy taking dirty ?
PM plz
H, red x

31 Oct 2005

I love it when Steve talks dirrrty to me :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
He said to start with that he felt stoopid doing it so i gave him a demo of what i wanted and now he's a seasoned pro :rascal:
It drives me wild when he tells me graphically what he's about to do to me while teasing me,makes me squirm and beg for it :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

31 Oct 2005

I like dirty talk during sex, Morbius occasionally does and it sends me into a spin, but I can't do it back LOL ... I'm just to shy to sound convincing and I end up giggling and spoiling the moment.
C x

31 Oct 2005

Quote by 34fun
bit silly sending dirty texts when she is in bed next to me !!

I don't know if it's been said before, but as Clare mentioned, get her to give you an example of what she likes, what she thinks would be good and what she wants to hear. You can then take a few leads from there and see how it goes.
It is difficult shaking off the self-conscious feeling of sounding like a right prat, or worrying that your attempts will be shot down with a bout of hysterics, but at least if that happens you can reap the guilt :twisted: :twisted:
P.S. try signing dirty talk while on top :shock: . That was a bloody nightmare I tell you rolleyes

:lol:

31 Oct 2005

just 1 tip make sure your partner is in possession of the phone before you start with dirty txts and calls
I know it sounds stupid but txt a quick hi hunny or make sure you get a hello in b4 you get rampant over the phone
I used to regularly call the other half and as soon as the phone answered begin to spin of some dirty filthy chat to entice him home
lets just say he left his phone in an office and one of his buddies picked it up saw my name on the screen and thought they would answer it and explain to me he was busy.
We laugh now but boy what a shock