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The Build a Story game

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frogster
Sex God
“Get off” shouts Mac trying to stand up, which was rather unfortunate as he wasn’t to know that the dog, was stone deaf and didn’t move….
Now, the weight of this dog was enough to securely pin his feet to the ground, so as he arose he lost his balance and toppled forward over the deaf dog (who by the way was called “deaf bastard dog”)… knocking his drink all over Mary Deridgeable, one the three scrabble playing ladies who had just managed to beat her all time personal record with the triple letter double word score of “Exhaltation”….
He landed half on Mary and half on the deaf dog, who gave a muted squeal and licked him on the face…. Mac must have thought that this dog resembled an old castrated pig as he called him a “fucking great boar” and then proceeded to get up….
Mary, however, thought he was referring to her and landed an almighty blow on his head with her handbag…. “Shit” shouted Mac, who couldn’t have realised that the deaf bastard dog was fluent in the art of lip reading and immediately proceeded to crap on his leg!
Jacob was beside himself and proceeded to roar with laughter at Macs misfortune…. Just then the three gushing nymphomaniacs entered the Bar……..
Next three words:- cotter-pin, checklist, frosted.
Frogster
Unknown User
"What's their story?" asked Jacob to the barmaid "How do you mean" she replied. "Well its not often you see 3 gushing nymph's walking into a bar carrying a cotter-pin!". The barmaid laughed"you mean terrapin! A webfooted reptile" Frustrated by his error Jacob turns to pick up his drink acting as if he is no longer interested, muttering "smart-arse" . Mac now recovered from his own misfortunate incident asked the barmaid to carry on and explain, as he cleaned the dog crap off of his leg.
The barmaid begins to explain that she could not recall exactly how they met but..... and then she went all quiet. Mac looked up only to see he was surrounded by the 3 gushing nymph's. One of the nymph's produced a long piece of paper from her handbag "Height - check, colour eyes - check, own teeth - check....." The nymph' was apparently running through some sort of checklist. Mac and Jacob looked at each other "I have a really bad feeling about this" "Me too". In a blink of an eye the guys turned and went to make their speedy exit from the pub, unfortunately not realising the nymph's had been gushing, they slipped across the wet floor and Mac went head first through the frosted glass window in the pub door. Somewhat dazed by the impact, he lifts his head only to see...........
3 things = Asteroid, tweezers, Elton John
mattmoleman
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
"What's their story?" asked Jacob to the barmaid "How do you mean" she replied. "Well its not often you see 3 gushing nymph's walking into a bar carrying a cotter-pin!". The barmaid laughed"you mean terrapin! A webfooted reptile" Frustrated by his error Jacob turns to pick up his drink acting as if he is no longer interested, muttering "smart-arse" . Mac now recovered from his own misfortunate incident asked the barmaid to carry on and explain, as he cleaned the dog crap off of his leg.
The barmaid begins to explain that she could not recall exactly how they met but..... and then she went all quiet. Mac looked up only to see he was surrounded by the 3 gushing nymph's. One of the nymph's produced a long piece of paper from her handbag "Height - check, colour eyes - check, own teeth - check....." The nymph' was apparently running through some sort of checklist. Mac and Jacob looked at each other "I have a really bad feeling about this" "Me too". In a blink of an eye the guys turned and went to make their speedy exit from the pub, unfortunately not realising the nymph's had been gushing, they slipped across the wet floor and Mac went head first through the frosted glass window in the pub door. Somewhat dazed by the impact, he lifts his head only to see...........
3 things = Asteroid, tweezers, Elton John

A bump on the side of his head the size of an Asteriod. The three Nymphs took advantage of his dazed state and carried him into the back room of the pub. It seemed these nymphs had other ideas than to use him for there own sorrid purposes. They had been employed by the great Elton John to find his next young sex toy, untouched by human hands. As they weren'y allowed to touch him they managed to undo his fly with a pair of tweezers and release his man hood so they can check the last thing on there list.
"Man hood of greater than 8inches and untouched by human hands... check".
With that a loud alarm was sounding and a thunderous banging was comming down the pub stairs. All three of the nymphs looked around at the door which flung open to reveal.....
Piles, Mouthful and twelve
Unknown User
Pat Butcher (from EastEnders)> "I'll take it from here ladies" she said in her gravely eastend Pat voice. The nymphs all fled in terror as Pat moved closer to a bewildered Mac. He tried to scream for help from his friends in the bar, only to find he had a mouthful of marshmellows. Each time he tried to spit them out more would appear, ten or twelve at a time. He spat and spat until there were piles of marshmellows all over the floor. "It's my magic powers darlin'" chuckled Pat. Where are all these people getting all these bloody magic powers from, thought Mac. Suddenly he had a plan. He spat and spat with all his might 100's and 100's of marshmellows began to fill the room. Soon he had buried Pat Butcher totally, unfortunately blocking the exit route also. He tried to open the window, but it was nailed closed and covered with iron bars. Hanging his head in dispare he noticed a trapdoor at his feet. He opened it, oww it was dark. He tried to peer down into the cellar and call hello to see if there was any reply, but as he tried to speak another marshmellow popped into his mouth and became lodged in the back of his throat. He coughed and choked, lost his balance and went arse over tit through the trap door and landed on a ......
3 things = First Class Stamp, fishnet-tights, disinfectant
Straighteight
Warming the Bed
Quote by PoloLady
Pat Butcher (from EastEnders)> "I'll take it from here ladies" she said in her gravely eastend Pat voice. The nymphs all fled in terror as Pat moved closer to a bewildered Mac. He tried to scream for help from his friends in the bar, only to find he had a mouthful of marshmellows. Each time he tried to spit them out more would appear, ten or twelve at a time. He spat and spat until there were piles of marshmellows all over the floor. "It's my magic powers darlin'" chuckled Pat. Where are all these people getting all these bloody magic powers from, thought Mac. Suddenly he had a plan. He spat and spat with all his might 100's and 100's of marshmellows began to fill the room. Soon he had buried Pat Butcher totally, unfortunately blocking the exit route also. He tried to open the window, but it was nailed closed and covered with iron bars. Hanging his head in dispare he noticed a trapdoor at his feet. He opened it, oww it was dark. He tried to peer down into the cellar and call hello to see if there was any reply, but as he tried to speak another marshmellow popped into his mouth and became lodged in the back of his throat. He coughed and choked, lost his balance and went arse over tit through the trap door and landed on a ......
3 things = First Class Stamp, fishnet-tights, disinfectant

.....small table which buckled under his weight.
Picking himself up Mac glanced upwards to see Pat glaring at him, "Oi you li'ul squirt, I'll fakin' kill you when I get me 'ands on ya" she cooed sweetly (well as sweet as I imagine Pat coos). Mac wasn't about to hang about, he found the draymans trap door, pushed it open and scrambled up into the street. He dusted himself down, cursing his decision that day to wear fishnet tights, so uncomfortable for a chap to run far in he thought, with that he was off and found himself by the post office, fearing Pat was chasing him he pushed his way in and up to the counter. "Yes young man" enquired an elderly lady behind the counter, Mac thought for a moment and blurted out "oh, er, a bottle of disinfectant please" ! There was silence, in the distance you could hear the steady ding of the lone church bell, the door opens and tumbleweed is blown in, ding, "wrong scene" whispered a man in the queue, "oh yes" says Mac, "er, oh yes, thanks, er a first class stamp please" he says woodenly, "there you go" says the lady. Mac hands over a fiver but as he is collecting all the change which the lady has kindly scattered across the counter the phone rings, "its for you" says the lady "a friend of yours, he says it's..........
3 WORDS : STRIP POKER, TWIST, MEGAPHONE
frogster
Sex God
straighteight... sorry, It took me ages to write this.... so I am posting it anyway wink let the public pick....
Quote by PoloLady
Pat Butcher (from EastEnders)> "I'll take it from here ladies" she said in her gravely eastend Pat voice. The nymphs all fled in terror as Pat moved closer to a bewildered Mac. He tried to scream for help from his friends in the bar, only to find he had a mouthful of marshmellows. Each time he tried to spit them out more would appear, ten or twelve at a time. He spat and spat until there were piles of marshmellows all over the floor. "It's my magic powers darlin'" chuckled Pat. Where are all these people getting all these bloody magic powers from, thought Mac. Suddenly he had a plan. He spat and spat with all his might 100's and 100's of marshmellows began to fill the room. Soon he had buried Pat Butcher totally, unfortunately blocking the exit route also. He tried to open the window, but it was nailed closed and covered with iron bars. Hanging his head in dispare he noticed a trapdoor at his feet. He opened it, oww it was dark. He tried to peer down into the cellar and call hello to see if there was any reply, but as he tried to speak another marshmellow popped into his mouth and became lodged in the back of his throat. He coughed and choked, lost his balance and went arse over tit through the trap door and landed on a ......
3 things = First Class Stamp, fishnet-tights, disinfectant

… rather awkwardly, on a well used and greatly thumbed copy of the “Army Boot Foot Fetish Times”, known affectionately to it’s 16 monthly readers as the, “First Class Stamp”.
Picking himself up he realised he had carelessly managed to break all his fingers on his right hand. Stupidly, he didn’t realise this, until he tried to extract some broken glass that had inexplicably became embedded in his left shoulder blade and ended up severally lacerating all of his right hand… “Oh well” Mac said quietly… “that’s life!”
The one plus to this all was, he had now stopped spitting marshmallows… or was it marshmellows? Hmmm…. ?
In the very dim light of the cellar, he could see a bent over object, faintly resembling the figure of a man… as he approached he realised that the man was exchanging an empty cask with a new barrel of “Princesse's Magicale”…. “Hello” said Mac… waving his left hand in the air, only to catch it on a naked light bulb, causing it to shatter…
This in itself wouldn’t have been that bad, but Mac, who was somewhat surprised by this event, and also aware that he was currently receiving 240 volts through his body from the bare wires of the 40 Wt lightbulb, stupidly looked upwards… About 15 nano-seconds later, shards of glass entered both his nostrils…
What seemed an eternity, but was probably slightly less, say about 30 seconds, passed by…. The man, who had been changing the barrel approached Mac, feeling his way through the darkness and guided by the dim glow that was now emanating from Macs simmering shoes…. “You alright” he said, flicking his trusty Zippo lighter in to flame, and catching Macs hair alight in the process……. “Sorry about that” he said, putting the remaining 25% of his hair out… “Lets get you out of here”….
The rest of the pub had heard the commotion in the cellar, and noticing all the lights in the place had gone out, put two and two together, and came up with something’s wrong… The Barmaid went to the cupboard under the stairs, moved aside the 5 Ltr bottle of disinfectant and flicked on the switch for the emergency generator. She was the first to see Mac as he emerged from the cellar stairs…. “Bloody Nora” she cried“, some one call an ambulance”…..
Mac was shocked out of his 2 day coma, by the very arousing thought of being given a blow job…. “Hang on” he thought, “where am I” ?… He looked around and realised from the medical paraphernalia scattered around the room, that he was in Hospital. Not only that, but he saw a rather shapely nurse, dressed in a very sexy uniform, complete with black fishnet-tights, bending over his never regions, giving him a blow job.
“Not complaining or anything” he said, “but what are you doing”? “Ohhh” gasped the startled nurse, “My names Mandy, I’m new here… I just thought…. That as you have both your hands in bandages…. And you have been here two days…. You might like”…….. “Carry on” said Mac……..
Just then……………
Next three words:- Bumfluff, Killer-Whale, Viagra
frogster
Sex God
Bump........ coz it's good! wink
Unknown User
Quote by frogster
“Not complaining or anything” he said, “but what are you doing”? “Ohhh” gasped the startled nurse, “My names Mandy, I’m new here… I just thought…. That as you have both your hands in bandages…. And you have been here two days…. You might like”…….. “Carry on” said Mac……..
Just then……………
Next three words:- Bumfluff, Killer-Whale, Viagra

Mac realised he was daydreaming and was still in the post office queue. The old lady behind the counter was still holding the phone and had now resorted to using a megaphone to gain Mac's attention.
"I said it's for you!" she bellowed.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist" Mac replied and grabbed the telephone "who is this?"
A soft and seductive voice replied "I am all you seek, I am your fantasy and I am here to make all of your erotic dreams come true"
Mac paused for a moment before replying " So you are a 21 year old supermodel with the perfect ass and no bumfluff, who has qualified as a pharmasist and provides me with a lifetime supply of viagra and constantly inives all your sexy female friends over to play strip poker?"
In a puzzled tone the voice enquires " Is that Mac Orlando?" Disappointedly Mac replies "No, Mac Lemmington, but i have been to Sea world in Orlando if that counts. I've seen the killer whale that was in 'Free Willy' and a shark and dolphins and ..." Suddenly the telephone line went dead. "Buggar".
Thoroughly fed-up, Mac picked up his change and slapped the self-adhesive first class stamp on his forhead and turned to leave the post office. As he opened the door a postman was emptying the postbox just outside. The postman looked at Mac, smiled and said " postage paid and first class too, where do you want to be delivered to then mate?" Mac repied " would it be to much to ask to be delivered to......"
3 things = door-knocker, hairdresser, flatulence