The cringe bin

2 Nov 2007

What memories make you redface

Share em n bin em in the cringe bin to be forgotten forever :scared: or give everyone a giggle :giggle:
Just some light hearted friday fun
heres a couple of mine :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
Aged 7 i found a folder under parents bed whilst playing hide n seek with brother whilst my mam was having a princess house party downstairs, my dad was in the middle of moving out and i saw that his name was written on it so off i goes downstairs with the folder to give to mam to put in his bags
gets in to the living room shouts as loud as i could "mam this is dads" during which tripping over a box fell flat on my face and the folder had fell and opened scattered and spread about 10 dirty magazines (quite kinky stuff aswel) well they lay open in front of me and 20 guests :eeek: :eeek: :eeek: :eeek: my mam died of shame i went bright red as i didnt realise what was in the folder :embarrased2: :embarrased2: :embarrased2: :embarrased2:
The second night dek spend at my house, the first night had been a one night stand and obviously i hadnt told anyone yet as it was still very early days rolleyes

so were sat on the couch me sucking his cock and in walks my mam n step dad surprised

ops: they had their own key and was used to letting themselves in and we had the music on loud so hadnt heard them after composing ourselfs we got 9 million questions thrown at us as we tried to explain in a nice way it was just sex at the time they were asking very parenty questions like whats your intentions etc (they used to think i was a good girl) dek sat there not knowing what to do with a hard on still raging both had very red faces :sticky: :sticky:
My first 50 or so threads and posts :doh: :doh: what ever possessed me banghead

will be back with more later bolt

Tan x

2 Nov 2007

Ermmmm …
Well I like to walk around the house starkers when no one's about, but I'd forgotten that on this day the cleaner was meant to come, having told me the previous week that she's come a day early.
Anyway there was me having a private wander when I hear the key in the lock. Suddenly my memory came flooding back. Bugger! I couldn't go upstairs to get dressed because I would have to go past her.
"Hello" she said, just as I disappeared into the cloak room, where there was a spare towel that I managed to wrap around the rude bits.
We never spoke about it but she always smiled at me forever after that.
redface

ops: :oops:

2 Nov 2007

Quote by bbw_lover
Ermmmm …
Well I like to walk around the house starkers when no one's about, but I'd forgotten that on this day the cleaner was meant to come, having told me the previous week that she's come a day early.
Anyway there was me having a private wander when I hear the key in the lock. Suddenly my memory came flooding back. Bugger! I couldn't go upstairs to get dressed because I would have to go past her.
"Hello" she said, just as I disappeared into the cloak room, where there was a spare towel that I managed to wrap around the rude bits.
We never spoke about it but she always smiled at me forever after that.
ops: :oops:

:rotflmao: classic hun i have a cleaner unfortunately she looks remarkably like me and doesnt do a very good job i did that recently tho to a workmen/FB accidentally on purpose of course biggrin

2 Nov 2007

Quote by dekntan
My first 50 or so threads and posts :doh: :doh: what ever possessed me
Tan x

Think we're all guilty of this one! :eeek:
I have a few, I'm always getting into scrapes.
When I was little... and this is 'apparently', I had a wee in my teapot and served it to my pals blink

I've been caught out by one of those 'cling film' on toilet seat tricks and pee'd everywhere.
One valentine's day, I was about 14, all my friends were getting cards and I didn't get one. My best pal and I came up with the idea for her to buy one, write it out and leave it on my desk. I acted the shocked, delighted and opened it in front of everyone to find them laughing as she'd actually told them what we'd done. She wasn't my bessie mate for much longer. :cry:
I've was caught having sex at the age of 18 by the lad's mother, we had been seeing each other for a while but she saw a little more of me than she probably wanted to redface

I could go on and on and on, but I'll not! :gagged:

2 Nov 2007

:D :D :D :D :D mar bless ya kiss

2 Nov 2007

At work on Thursday sad

I was waiting for a delivery, but have just moved offices so was looking out for the guy in case he couldnt find us.
Saw the van go up the road slowly, so leapt at the window and started waving to catch his eye
He spotted me and stopped, so I done the thumbs up :thumbup: and went out to collect my stuff.
Got to the van and announced to the driver (who I vaguely recognised from a previous delivery at other office). "Look, we've moved! :smug:", all proud I was.
Oh right he said, looking a bit odd, so I said I recognised him from delivering to the other office and he said he did remember me.
So I stood and waited for him to get my stuff out the back of the van, where he looked at me again, at this point I started checking my nose for bogeys and things like that confused

:? :?
Another what seemed like 10 mins but was probably more like 10 seconds of waiting when he finally said.....
"I'm delivering this to the woman next door!!"
:shock: :shock: :shock:
I nearly died of embarrassment Why didn't he bluddy say that when I first went out there :? Although I didn't really give him chance to get a word in edgeways with my big "We've moved" announcement :?
I then asked him if he was sure he wasn't delivering to me too and to check redface

He said he was absolutely sure, and wondered why I was waving to him through the window n stuff :?
My toes have curled up now just typing this - had to walk all the way back into the office (getting smaller with every step) and explain to the others why there was no parcel :? surprised

ops:
Does that mean I can put the whole episode into the bin now? I can forget it ever happened?? :happy:

2 Nov 2007

Quote by jaymar
One valentine's day, I was about 14, all my friends were getting cards and I didn't get one. My best pal and I came up with the idea for her to buy one, write it out and leave it on my desk. I acted the shocked, delighted and opened it in front of everyone to find them laughing as she'd actually told them what we'd done. She wasn't my bessie mate for much longer. :cry:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Awwwwwww that's just so horrid :therethere: I feel guilty for laffin!! lol

2 Nov 2007

Quote by Missy
Does that mean I can put the whole episode into the bin now? I can forget it ever happened?? :happy:

yup missy you can chuck it in the bin where it will stay for all of swingle eternity :scared: thats the sort of thing id do

2 Nov 2007

Quote by Missy
One valentine's day, I was about 14, all my friends were getting cards and I didn't get one. My best pal and I came up with the idea for her to buy one, write it out and leave it on my desk. I acted the shocked, delighted and opened it in front of everyone to find them laughing as she'd actually told them what we'd done. She wasn't my bessie mate for much longer. :cry:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Awwwwwww that's just so horrid :therethere: I feel guilty for laffin!! lol

Bad Missy! smackbottom

But now I don't feel guilty for chuckling at your story! tit for tat! innocent

2 Nov 2007

My brother-in-law and family came to visit, and while I was chatting to him, I bent to pick up his little girl.
Instead of putting her arms round my neck, the little monkey thought it would be funny to pull on the elasticated neck of my jumper, and I didn't wear a bra in those days, and my bro-in-law got an eyeful.
He said, "Jeez - if I'd seen any more, we'd have to get engaged!"
redface

ops: :oops:

2 Nov 2007

once got me tounge bar caught on a girls clit ring thingy redface

g said "shall we ring the fire brigade" rolleyes

2 Nov 2007

Quote by northeastcoupleuk
once got me tounge bar caught on a girls clit ring thingy g said "shall we ring the fire brigade"

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: so on say she rang the fire brigade please say it biggrin

2 Nov 2007

Heregoes,
A few months back, we'd been having a really, really shitty time of things (sums up 2007 :roll.) A neighbour invited us (dragged us) to a Wine & Wisdom evening in a nearby village. It was warm, and we said we'd walk back so we didn't have to drive- about 2 miles.
She had another friend come along who'd also had a bummer of a week. Misery loves company.......she was topping up my wine glass relentlessly all night. Now the thing is, everyone else was drinking- but they'd all eaten. I'd ( ) gone all day on one mini pork pie :shock:
Three and a half bottles later.....yes, thats just me.....in the middle of answering a question, I suddenly felt very, very ill. I threw up all over the village hall floor. I threw up as I was being dragged to the door. I threw up in the foyer. I threw up all over my neighbours shoes & jeans. I threw up outside.
I threw up a lot. In front of about 50 neighbours, parents from the school....village "knobs"....and that is the onlytime I've everthrown up drunk ffs!
Imagine my face in the school yard on monday redface

I got the question right though :smug:

2 Nov 2007

i was very nervous about our first meet with a couple...we'd driven 100 miles (unusually so) for the meet as both him and her ticked all the boxes for us both......
when we got there they offered us drinks...i had a vodka & coke, and downed it pretty quick to take the edge off my nerves, so 'he' made me another, then another.......
i started to feel squiffy and relaxed and thought that play might commence soon.......then i suddenly began to feel really really sick, so thought I could sneak off to the bathroom, be sick...get rid of the alcohol from my stomach and feel better.
Unfortunately their loo was downstairs and right next to their living room, so they heard me being sick and 'she' came into the loo to hold my hair back redface

ops:
This happened another 3 times with them both taking turns to rub my back as i was hurling my guts down the loo, or to bring me water. :oops: :oops: :oops: and me crying my eyes out saying how sorry I was.
please take this memory away from me and lock inside the cringe box forever :oops:

2 Nov 2007

awww mrs bone its well n truely locked away now
nerves does funny things to ya :therethere:
you did remind me of the eve of my 21st birthday tho redface

it was a friday night and we were going on holiday on the saturday (my birthday) so as families do they decided that i needed to go out drinking with them on the fri night :crazy: dek stayed in and watched son and i told him id be home early rolleyes

(yeah right biggrin

)
well it was a very very cheap night and i was absolutely mortal we left the pub at 2am (the flight was at 6) and it took 5 people to get me home soon as i got home i started being sick in the sink dek had to hold my hair back n literally watch me choke on me own vomit i didnt get any sleep and i wasnt allowed on the plane we had to get a later one after i had sobered up bolt

2 Nov 2007

Quote by dekntan
once got me tounge bar caught on a girls clit ring thingy g said "shall we ring the fire brigade"

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: so on say she rang the fire brigade please say it biggrin

ya wad love it wadnt ya lol

do ya like the sound of them if so arl i can say is ner...ner ner ner ner ner ner

2 Nov 2007

mrs n was starving as we drove down the a19 so i pulls over the cafe ,it was a old caravan type one,so in we went had a fry up as i was paying she went outside,and in front of the big window ,,,where people were eating began to ...spew arl over the gaff to the sound of people saying things like "urr dirty cow" redface

so in the car and 120mph lol

3 Nov 2007

Quote by northeastcoupleuk
once got me tounge bar caught on a girls clit ring thingy g said "shall we ring the fire brigade"

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: so on say she rang the fire brigade please say it biggrin

ya wad love it wadnt ya lol

do ya like the sound of them if so arl i can say is ner...ner ner ner ner ner ner

:smackbottom: how did ya get free then did ya pull ya own

3 Nov 2007

Major cringe here.
When I was 18, I had my own place and for one reason or another I had to leave there. My dad came and packed all my stuff up for me. After sorting through my stuff at my next place I realised certain items ( vibrators) were missing :shock: redface

ops: :oops: :oops:
Poor dad lol

he never mentioned it and neither did I. He must have thrown them away in disgust.
louise xx

3 Nov 2007

I have tears streaming down my face reading some of these!!!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

3 Nov 2007

This is possibly one of the most awkward and horrible moments of my life and happened at the end of August.
Me, MrsC and our bin lids had gone on holiday to Rhodes and taken the mother outlaw with us, anyway one night the kids were in bed early as they were knackered so the mother outlaw agreed to babysit while me and the missus went out.
A few hours and plenty of tequila sunrise's later and we're feeling pretty amorous so head off to the beach for a bit wink

Finish up on the beach and head back to our room via the bar again, go up to the room, finish said drinks and say we're off to bed as does the mother outlaw.
MrsC goes in bathroom first, when she opens the door and im stood there she drags me in, locks the door and we're at it again only not as quiet as i thought we were confused

So we finish what we're doing and i open the door and walk out to the sight of the mother outlaw leaning against the wall singing/saying "I know what you're doing" and "i thought you were gonna be in there all night"
I swear i wanted to die right there and then! From one of the nicest moments in my life to one of the most truly awful in 5 short words :cry:

3 Nov 2007

Quote by Mrcoupleseekfun
This is possibly one of the most awkward and horrible moments of my life and happened at the end of August.
Me, MrsC and our bin lids had gone on holiday to Rhodes and taken the mother outlaw with us, anyway one night the kids were in bed early as they were knackered so the mother outlaw agreed to babysit while me and the missus went out.
A few hours and plenty of tequila sunrise's later and we're feeling pretty amorous so head off to the beach for a bit Finish up on the beach and head back to our room via the bar again, go up to the room, finish said drinks and say we're off to bed as does the mother outlaw.
MrsC goes in bathroom first, when she opens the door and im stood there she drags me in, locks the door and we're at it again only not as quiet as i thought we were
So we finish what we're doing and i open the door and walk out to the sight of the mother outlaw leaning against the wall singing/saying "I know what you're doing" and "i thought you were gonna be in there all night"
I swear i wanted to die right there and then! From one of the nicest moments in my life to one of the most truly awful in 5 short words :cry:

im going

ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: for ya mr c :shock:

3 Nov 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
Major cringe here.
When I was 18, I had my own place and for one reason or another I had to leave there. My dad came and packed all my stuff up for me. After sorting through my stuff at my next place I realised certain items ( vibrators) were missing :shock: ops: :oops: :oops:
Poor dad he never mentioned it and neither did I. He must have thrown them away in disgust.
louise xx

aww louise similar thing happened to me i basically had to do a moonlit flip in the middle of darkness family packed house up for me a few month later went into my sis's bedroom to find our collection of porn on her bed (didnt like to think where the vibrators were ) :shock: :shock: great answers tho everyone keep em coming biggrin

3 Nov 2007

This is absolutely horrendous and I just know people are gonna think I'm vile now but anyway ...
I was abut 18 and had a fuckbuddy I met up with every weekend for a night out with his mates and mine.
We were at a mate's house party and feeling horny, we slipped into the bathroom for a quicky. Only I had my period but no bother, he says, just take the tampon out and away we go. So I threw into the toilet, flush and one quick hard shag later, we're just getting our breath back when out friends knock on the door wanting to talk to us.
We quickly scramble back into our clothes, switch the light on and let them in.
A couple of minutes into the conversation, my friend suddenly exclaims "what the fuck's THAT!" and points to wall near the loo and there, to my please-floor-swallow-me-up shame, is my soiled (YACK!!!) sanitary product stuck to the wall!!
I feigned shock and denied all knowledge but they all knew it was me and had a good laugh at my expense, in between "Ewww ya dirty cow" remarks.
I feel ill just telling you this. confused

but now it's all out in the open and into the Cringe Bin, I can forget it, right?

3 Nov 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
I feel ill just telling you this. but now it's all out in the open and into the Cringe Bin, I can forget it, right?

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: that ones stuck to the cringe bin lid an all :eeek: will dispose as soon as i can
wheres norty biggrin

only kidding hun locked away forever now

3 Nov 2007

i got busted quite a few times as a kid playing with myself........... redface

highly embarrasing, but strangely enough it never put me off wink

3 Nov 2007

One time when I was at University, it was my birthday and my (then) girlfriend was calling me up at my flat in Halls, with each phone call she got dirtier and dirtier (yum!) with what she wanted to do with me. So when the phone rang again, I picked it up and said "Right you dirty bitch, just get you knickers off and bend over the bed and I'll.... Oh, hello mum" redface

ops: :oops: :oops:

3 Nov 2007

byron
There are some things you just so don't want your mother to know or hear!!
:evil2:

3 Nov 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
This is absolutely horrendous and I just know people are gonna think I'm vile now but anyway ...
I was abut 18 and had a fuckbuddy I met up with every weekend for a night out with his mates and mine.
We were at a mate's house party and feeling horny, we slipped into the bathroom for a quicky. Only I had my period but no bother, he says, just take the tampon out and away we go. So I threw into the toilet, flush and one quick hard shag later, we're just getting our breath back when out friends knock on the door wanting to talk to us.
We quickly scramble back into our clothes, switch the light on and let them in.
A couple of minutes into the conversation, my friend suddenly exclaims "what the fuck's THAT!" and points to wall near the loo and there, to my please-floor-swallow-me-up shame, is my soiled (YACK!!!) sanitary product stuck to the wall!!
I feigned shock and denied all knowledge but they all knew it was me and had a good laugh at my expense, in between "Ewww ya dirty cow" remarks.
I feel ill just telling you this. but now it's all out in the open and into the Cringe Bin, I can forget it, right?

norts here tan lol

so it was no strings fun marya hi ho :lol:

3 Nov 2007

Quote by northeastcoupleuk
This is absolutely horrendous and I just know people are gonna think I'm vile now but anyway ...
I was abut 18 and had a fuckbuddy I met up with every weekend for a night out with his mates and mine.
We were at a mate's house party and feeling horny, we slipped into the bathroom for a quicky. Only I had my period but no bother, he says, just take the tampon out and away we go. So I threw into the toilet, flush and one quick hard shag later, we're just getting our breath back when out friends knock on the door wanting to talk to us.
We quickly scramble back into our clothes, switch the light on and let them in.
A couple of minutes into the conversation, my friend suddenly exclaims "what the fuck's THAT!" and points to wall near the loo and there, to my please-floor-swallow-me-up shame, is my soiled (YACK!!!) sanitary product stuck to the wall!!
I feigned shock and denied all knowledge but they all knew it was me and had a good laugh at my expense, in between "Ewww ya dirty cow" remarks.
I feel ill just telling you this. but now it's all out in the open and into the Cringe Bin, I can forget it, right?

norts here tan lol

so it was no strings fun marya hi ho :lol:
il let you take it from ere norts lol